To Awaken a Monster

by Sam Crescent

  It pissed him off that he was paying close attention to Robin. He didn’t allow himself the chance to look.

  He didn’t need to worry. His men arrived and were at his back within moments.

  “Ah, the entourage. I forgot you can’t do anything without them.” Reaper clicked his fingers. “We didn’t come to start a fight, and with that in mind, we’re going to head out. Come on boys, we got what we came for.”

  He didn’t move as he watched them climb onto their bikes and leave. One by one, he let them go.

  “You want us to go after them?” Bear asked.

  “No, let them get out of town.”

  When the last red light was gone, he finally allowed himself to turn around. He looked toward the diner and saw Robin was sitting watching. She didn’t look happy. The fear was evident in her eyes, but he now knew Reaper was looking at her.

  “What the fuck were they doing in town?” Grave asked, coming close.

  “O’Klaren.”

  “You think O’Klaren invited them?”

  “I know O’Klaren invited him, but I don’t know why unless it was to fuck with my head.” He had an inkling it was to do with Robin. Reaper had the perfect shot of her from where they’d been standing, and he didn’t like how close of a call that had been.

  Running fingers through his hair, Preacher tried to think, but his head wasn’t in the game.

  Fuck!

  “Shit, I totally forgot Robin’s birthday. I was supposed to bring her over a present days ago.”

  “She was on her own that day. We learned the sex of the baby today. It’s why we’re out here now. I was trying to give her some space, you know.”

  “I’m good to head on in, wish her a good day and all that shit?”

  “Yeah, sure.” He needed to stay outside, clear his head.

  He didn’t like how close of a call that had been, and with Reaper lurking and O’Klaren feeding him information, he had to be on his guard at all times.

  There had also been a sighting of Milner. Dog had called it in, and Billy confirmed Milner’s whereabouts. In a matter of days, he’d have dealt with that little problem, but of course it would never come back to the club. It was a shame that Milner decided to end things this way. Running away and not telling him the truth, giving him little lies to follow. Preacher would have taken care of him. He’d considered them friends, but now he was making him have to clean up loose ends. Milner had nothing to hide in that area, especially as O’Klaren had only taken over from him as a younger officer, with an amazing track record. He’d used his family to also make the transition easier. Small town, away from the big city, the chance of a new life. It all sounded wonderful.

  Looking through the window, Preacher stared at father and daughter.

  Robin got to her feet, and Bear embraced her.

  “Do you want me to collect some intel on what is going on with O’Klaren?” Grave asked. “I know a couple of women he likes to visit regularly.”

  “Yes. I want to find everything we can on the real O’Klaren. The file we have on him is pointless.”

  There was no way he was going to trust that O’Klaren was clean.

  “What do you want us to do about Robin?” Rider asked.

  “Nothing. I want you to do absolutely nothing when it comes to her.” He’d be the one taking care of her, no one else.

  Chapter Twelve

  Robin stepped back from her masterpiece and smiled. She couldn’t paint to save her life, but the blends of pink looked really pretty and she liked the way they popped. She’d spent the best part of the weekend preparing the new nursery. Preacher had already told her he’d ordered the necessary furniture.

  Wiping some perspiration from her brow, she put the paintbrush down and went about mixing some more strong pink with a little more white.

  “I thought I’d find you in here.”

  “Hey, sweetie,” she said, walking over to Bishop. She went on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

  She had decided after her birthday night at the Italian restaurant, when it came to Bishop, she wouldn’t be angry with him, or make him feel bad. Whenever she saw him, she intended to play nice, like they used to. Nothing had changed between them, and she’d been the one to have this happen to her.

  “What do you think?”

  “Are you moving in here or something?”

  She detected the hint of perfume, not hers either.

  Rather than ask him about it, she pulled away. “No, silly. Preacher picked this room for the nursery.”

  Her bump was a lot more pronounced now, and there was no mistaking she was very much pregnant. She’d also noticed as her bump grew, so too did Bishop’s distance between them. He’d stopped trying to make out with her, and also, he liked to keep as far from her as possible. The most she got was a one-armed hug.

  She didn’t question his repulsion for being near her. Clearly, he was having a hard time dealing with her pregnant state.

  In the beginning, being alone with her secret, she had felt like it was almost unbearable to handle. The morning sickness had arrived, no period, and she’d been terrified. Now though, she felt her baby moving and it was the most amazing feeling in the world, and no matter what Bishop, her mother, or even Bear said, she was going to handle this head-on. She looked forward to being a mother.

  “Right, the nursery.”

  “Don’t you like it?”

  “I don’t really give a fuck about it, to be honest.”

  “Right, to care, you’d have to be involved.”

  “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine. It really is.”

  “This is not how I saw this. I mean, if that kid was mine, maybe things would be different. Maybe I’d be feeling differently.”

  “But it’s not, and you don’t.” She put a hand on her stomach. “I know this is hard for you, but I was really hoping you’d see things a bit differently.”

  “I’ve tried, okay? I know you’re happy about this, but I’m not. You’ve been able to work through your problems, but you’re eighteen. You shouldn’t have to be dealing with a baby.”

  “A lot of women deal with a baby at my age, Bishop. This isn’t some … big deal. Not really.”

  “You were drugged, knocked out. My dad, he came in and he…”

  “I know. I was there, remember? This is not all news for me.”

  “Why aren’t you upset about this? Why aren’t you freaking out or going to see some fucking shrink who can help you deal with the problems?”

  “You think I don’t have problems? You think there are times that I don’t wonder about what happened? If there’s anything I could have done to change it? I do all the freaking time, but I’m going to be a mother soon, Bishop. I can’t allow myself to give in, to stop fighting. Preacher was a victim in this as well.”

  Bishop snorted. “Yeah, right.”

  “He was. He was drunk. You cannot tell me that you haven’t done some stupid things when you’ve been intoxicated, because I know for a fact you have. You can’t even deny it, so don’t even start to.”

  “Robin, I don’t want to fight with you.”

  “I don’t want to fight with you either.”

  “It’s not like it’s going to be important. Once the baby is out, I’ll get you back.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked. She wasn’t going to point out he still had her. They had never slept together, but it didn’t for a second stop them from being close. She missed her friend a great deal. It wasn’t the same without him.

  “My dad can have the baby. No one needs to know it’s yours. He can say it’s from the club. You’ll give birth, and then we’ll be free to be together. No one needs to know it’s your baby.”

  “You do know people have seen me around town. They know I’m pregnant.”

  “Dad will handle it. It’s not like you need to take care of it. Dad took care of me, and he can handle your kid. It doesn’t have to know that you’re its mom. You can give it up.�
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  She laughed, but it wasn’t a happy sound. Stepping back from him, she looked at the nursery. “That’s what you want? Me to give it up?”

  “Not to some stranger but to my dad, sure.”

  “And you’d be happy with that?”

  “Yeah, why not? We’d go back to being us.”

  She stared down at her wedding band and turned to look at him. “I don’t know what you think is going to happen, but I want to be part of this baby’s life. I want to know my daughter, Bishop. I look forward to meeting her. There’s no way I’m going to give her up.”

  “You’re going to ruin your life because of this.”

  “Having a child is not ruining my life. I wish you’d stop being so selfish.”

  “You think I’m being selfish. You’re decorating a nursery.”

  “Which you wouldn’t care about if this baby I was carrying was yours. I don’t see what the big problem is. You’re screwing all the girls you can get your hands on. You think I don’t know about the entire cheerleader team being at your beck and call? You want me all to yourself that’s fine, but I will only have sex with you when I’m ready. All of the other girls and women from high school to the bars, to the club, all of it will stop. You will have to learn to keep it in your pants.”

  “Don’t talk fucking stupid.”

  “You say you love me so much and you can’t stand for me to have this baby inside me, but you couldn’t even keep it in your pants when we were supposed to be dating. You think I didn’t know about Milly? You fucked with her, and guess what, she fucked with you. She wanted you a hell of a lot more than you wanted her, and look what happened.”

  “Are you saying this is my fault?”

  “I’m saying the person responsible for it is gone and she did this, but you’re making this worse. Everyone is trying and you’re too busy throwing your anger and hatred around, and it’s not helping anyone. It really isn’t. You need to get over this. Whether you like it or not, this is your sister. I’m going to be her mother, and I’m not changing my mind.”

  He nodded. “Fuck this.”

  Bishop turned on his heel, stormed out of the room, and she flinched as she heard the door slam closed.

  Collapsing onto the floor, she stared up at the ceiling. Tears filled her eyes. “I know you heard some of that, but don’t worry, he’ll come around. You’re going to be so loved and you’re going to hate all of the attention and love.”

  She sat on the floor, staring up at the nursery for way too long. Her stomach started to growl, and she remembered Preacher had made a bunch of snacks for her to warm up in the microwave.

  Getting to her feet, she left all the paint and walked downstairs. It was becoming a struggle to see her feet.

  Padding toward the kitchen, she opened the refrigerator and took out a burrito. He’d even left a list of instructions on how to heat it up.

  Grabbing her plate, she sat in the dining room, eating her food, when she heard the door open and close.

  “Bishop?” she asked around a mouthful of food.

  “Only me,” Preacher said.

  “Oh.”

  “Don’t look so happy to see me.”

  “I am. I’m sorry. Bishop and I, we had another argument.”

  “Again?”

  She nodded. Taking another mouthful of burrito, she watched him.

  “I’m going to go and heat me up one of those. It looks way too good to turn down.”

  By the time he returned, she’d already finished hers and was drinking some water.

  “Do you want to tell me what the argument was about?”

  She gave him the rough details.

  “If that’s what you want, I’m happy to do it. I’ve taken care of a baby before.”

  “Did you really take care of Bishop as a baby?”

  “My ex was a nightmare. I took care of him for most of his early years. When he got older, some of the club women did it, and after that, well, I don’t really know what happened. Between you and Rebecca, I think it’s safe to say he pretty much raised himself. He’s doing a good job so far.”

  “I feel so bad.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he’s struggling. Do you think I’m being selfish wanting to be this baby’s mother? I really want to be there for her.”

  “Would you think it more selfish to give her up?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I know Bishop’s my son, but you’ve got to do what you’re comfortable with. If you can’t handle this baby, then you can’t handle it, and I’ll take care of it. You can always count on me to be there for you.”

  “Thank you.” She took his hand that wasn’t holding the last of his burrito. “You’ve been so kind to me.”

  “Robin, you’re not a stranger to me. So, what have you been doing today?”

  “I’ve been painting the nursery. Come and see.” She got to her feet and took her plate to the sink to wash it.

  Preacher followed behind her, doing the same, and she waited until he finished, taking him by the hand, and leading him upstairs to their daughter’s bedroom.

  “What do you think?” she asked.

  She’d blended pink with the white and cream.

  “It looks good. Bright.”

  “I want it to be a happy room. You know, our girl to grow up surrounded by love and happiness.”

  “You’ve thought a great deal about this.”

  “I know you don’t want to show me, but how would you feel about drawing something on the wall? You know, for our little girl to see. She can see it when she wakes up and falls asleep.”

  “You’ve never seen my artwork. You don’t even know if it’s any good.”

  “Come on, it’s you, it has to be good.”

  “And what makes you say that?”

  “You wouldn’t have told me about it if you hadn’t been impressed.” He didn’t agree, and she put her hands together. “Please, please, let me see. It’s not for me, it’s for our little girl. Pretty please.”

  “Fine. Fine. Just stop begging. Come on.”

  She clapped her hands and followed him to his bedroom. He was rummaging around in the closet when she realized she sat on the very edge of his bed, and they were alone.

  Don’t get any ideas.

  It’s not worth even thinking about.

  Robin was struck by a couple of dreams she’d been having lately. With Bishop spending more time at the club than in her bed, she was alone a great deal of the time, and her nights were confusing to her.

  She wasn’t pregnant in her dreams, but Preacher, he visited them, regularly.

  It’s the hormones.

  Stepping out of the closet, he held the book. “Here is one. No one has seen this, and they don’t know what I like to do in my spare time.”

  “So this is absolute secrecy.”

  “The highest level of secrecy.”

  “I will guard it with my life. I promise.”

  He held the book out to her, and she took it as he sat beside her.

  Opening the first page, she saw sketches of trees. Bare branches with no leaves. There was no splash of color, but it looked amazing. The definition within each piece was exquisite.

  She turned the page and was shocked to see one of Bishop as a boy. He was asleep in his crib.

  “This is … I can’t believe you’ve never told anyone about your work.”

  “I don’t talk about this kind of stuff with anyone.”

  “It seems crazy to me for you to hide this. You’re really talented.”

  There were some pictures of naked women, and she didn’t like how it struck her to see other women within his notebook. She quickly turned the page, not wanting to see any more of the women in his life.

  What is with you lately?

  She ignored her own question, looking through them. When she got to the end, she closed the book and turned to him. “Please tell me you will paint something for our daughter. I would really appreciate it.”
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br />   He sighed. “If I do, I won’t take credit for it.”

  “Of course. But you’ll do it?”

  “Yes, I’ll do it.”

  She threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly to her. “Thank you so much.”

  “I’ll do whatever you need me to do, Robin. Just say the words.”

  “Thank you.” She quickly pulled away. “Come on, I’ll show you where I think it will go.”

  ****

  True to his word, Preacher spent every available night when Bishop wasn’t home, sketching on the wall. Robin had wanted their girl to wake up with a nice fairytale forest complete with animals, and a waterfall. This would take up the entirety of one wall.

  While he sketched and painted, Robin made sure to keep a look out so no one saw him doing what he happened to enjoy. He didn’t know why he needed to keep it a secret, but it was important to him.

  This was something he kept for himself, and didn’t wish to share it with anyone, especially not the club. He didn’t want to think of the reason why he’d been willing to share it with Robin.

  She was different.

  You need to get laid.

  He’d not put a finger or cock in or on another woman since before the night he’d been with Robin.

  Don’t fucking think about it.

  Instead he focused on what was important. Dog had set up another fight to go down in over a week’s time. Neither of them needed to get a fighter. The men had gone to Dog, wanting it set up. They were missing the bloodbath that was to come.

  Also, he had to go out of town next week, which pissed him off because he couldn’t rely on his son.

  With the latest branch now having an abundance of green leaves, he put down his paintbrush, closed the bedroom, locked it, and went in search of Robin.

  He found her sitting on the sofa in the living room with a hand on her stomach and a serene smile on her face.

  “I thought you were bringing me a drink,” he said.

  “I was, but she started to kick. Come and feel.” She held her hand out, and he went to her without question. She placed his palm flat against her stomach.

  “Can you feel it?” she asked.

  He waited, holding his breath to feel what she wanted him to. The moment his girl kicked, he smiled. “Oh, wow,” he said.