Noel, Alabama

by Susan Sands

  Bailey nodded. “I want to soak for a few minutes.”

  “We’ll leave the door open and you can holler if you need us. Don’t you dare try and stand up or get out without help, you hear?”

  Alexis lit several candles they’d purchased and used at bath time at the end of a workday, then turned off the lights, for which Bailey was terribly grateful. “Perfect,” Bailey said as the candles flickered, their light enough to see.

  Bailey relaxed into the deep clawfoot tub. It was hypnotic.

  One of the candles had the aroma of a Christmas tree, which brought Bailey to the fact that it was Christmastime. She was finally home for Christmas with her family. With her daddy—and Seth. And Joella. For the first time in so many years, she would have a real Christmas. She would buy presents. And they could make all the candy, and bake pies. Then, Bailey shifted in the tub, and groaned in pain. She couldn’t do any of those things.

  The idea of having an old-fashioned family Christmas had taken root though. And now that she’d envisioned how that could look, Bailey decided she wouldn’t let a bum shoulder and a few scrapes and bruises get in the way of her vision. This wasn’t a gift to squander.

  Her feelings for Seth weren’t something she wanted to ponder right now. She couldn’t. Because if she allowed her mind and heart to dive deep into what she’d missed and how she’d hurt him, the self-recriminations would eat her alive. Plus, moving forward, there still wasn’t a way for a second chance. Their lives were in different places and on different tracks.

  She couldn’t come back here to stay. It was impossible. But she could appreciate the time they had together. Wasn’t that what he’d told her he planned to do?

  So instead of diving headlong into what might have been, Bailey used her relaxing bath time to make plans for a Christmas to remember.

  “Are you okay? Ready to wash that beautiful hair?” Joella flipped on the light without warning.

  Bailey likely splashed half the water in the tub onto the oak floors, she was so deep into her planning.

  “Did I startle you? Were you asleep?” Joella asked, grabbing a second towel to soak up the water on the floor.

  “Oh, sorry. I was thinking about Christmas.”

  “You were? I’ve been giving it some thought, too, while I sat there staring at your sweet tree in the living room.” Joella grabbed the bottle of shampoo and conditioner from a shelf next to the tub and held them up questioningly. Bailey nodded.

  “So what have you decided about Christmas?” Joella asked her as she worked.

  “I want to do all the Christmas things I’ve missed with Daddy these past years, and with you and Seth. You know: the cookies, candy, wrapping presents, sitting by the fire on Christmas eve watching movies.” Bailey closed her eyes and tipped her head back as Joella massaged the shampoo into her scalp.

  “Sounds like your daddy’s gonna be tickled pink. Seth too. And you know I’ll do everything I can to help, being as how you’re all banged up. But I’m a little worried about Seth in all this.”

  “Oh?” Bailey asked.

  “His heart, honey. I know as sure as the sun will rise that he’ll be so happy to spend a wonderful Christmas with you. He’s missed you so much, you know, but your being back has cracked open his wounds. I’m not sure he’ll survive going back in time like this, only for you to go back to California as soon as it’s over. Have a care for his heart, won’t you?”

  Bailey’s tears mixed with her bath water. Hurting Seth further was the last thing she wanted. “I-I thought my being here for the holidays would be good for us all.”

  “And it will. Just don’t lead Seth down a path you can’t bring him back from. That’s all I’m saying. Make sure he understands you plan to go back to L.A. once you’re all healed up.”

  For the next few minutes, using the sprayer attached to the taps, Joella worked to wash, condition, and rinse the grime from Bailey’s hair. If it wasn’t perfect, at least her hair smelled fresh and clean.

  They didn’t speak much after that. Bailey thanked Joella for helping her, and Alexis came in to help her from the tub. They dried Bailey carefully and dressed her in a pair of soft cotton button-up pajamas Joella had brought from her house. That way, Bailey didn’t have to raise her arms.

  They managed to get her into bed and give her her medication. Bailey called her daddy and texted Seth just as her eyelids were starting to droop.

  “Yell at me if you need to go to the bathroom during the night, okay?” Alexis said.

  Bailey nodded, exhausted from the day.

  Joella dropped a kiss on her cheek before she left for the night. “Honey, don’t take what I said as hurtful. We all want Christmas to be special with you here. I couldn’t be happier. I can just see the hope in Seth’s eyes and it kills me.”

  “I understand. But he knows I live and work in California,” Bailey said, her voice becoming a little slurry from the pain meds which were also making her emotional.

  “Yes, but what his brain knows and what his heart believes are in conflict, I’m afraid. I’m trying to protect him. And you.” Joella smiled at her in that motherly way she had.

  Bailey understood Joella’s need to protect Seth after what Bailey put him through the first time. “I’ll make it clear that I’ll only be here until the new year. But can we make candy and cookies? Because I can’t do any of it by myself.”

  “Of course, my dear. Just like when you were a little girl,” Joella promised.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The snow hadn’t melted because the temps were still hovering around freezing. In fact, it had snowed a little more; just enough to recreate the perfect winter wonderland without the dangerous icy driving conditions. Bailey was relieved for the sake of the filming. Snow worked well for that.

  Bailey stared out as the town Christmas shopped, and bells on stores jingled every time somebody went in and out. The Ministry Inn bustled with guests, and there was an added excitement that a film shooting in town brought to the mix. It became a game to try and count how many people Bailey could recognize, and then separate them into two categories: those from Ministry, and those from the film studio. She could just barely see the movie trailers from her perch on the sofa and was having a solid case of FOMO—Fear of Missing Out.

  Despite the pain in her shoulder and pretty much everywhere else, Bailey was antsy and ready to do something different.

  It seemed that everyone had stuff to do besides babysit her. They checked in routinely, brought her food, and made sure she was okay. Seth planned to come over later, but he’d gotten tied up with locals giving him a hard time about the filming getting in the way of their plans, and her daddy was dealing with some illegal night hunting that required help from Seth and his deputy.

  Joella was running ragged serving her special pizza to all the extra customers who’d just gotten into town for the holidays, in addition to the movie folks, who’d now discovered her special offerings, so different from anything they’d ever tried.

  So, here she sat, watching it all from the huge picture window, like an idyllic scene out of one of the very movies she worked hard to find locations for.

  But something wouldn’t quiet in the back of Bailey’s mind. The writing. It scared her to think about opening a new file and putting words on a page. But the idea excited her as well. Could she do it? Maybe she could start with a pen and paper like she had as a teen.

  Maybe going through her old things at Daddy’s would spark her creativity. She’d written so many short stories, novels even. But they’d been left behind, just like everything else twelve years ago during her great escape. Daddy wouldn’t have thrown them out, and she and Seth hadn’t gotten halfway through all the things in the attic, so Bailey knew it was all up there. Waiting.

  Bailey made up her mind it was time to move home to her daddy’s house after spending two days sitting still in the apartment watching the activity outside her living room window.

  *

  They spent a
little time downtown at the kitchen shop and then stopped by the mom and pop grocery Bailey loved to shop at with Daddy when she was a kid. They didn’t have everything the larger chain food stores did, but Bailey managed to find most of what she needed with Daddy standing by to pull it down and load the cart for her.

  How she’d hated having to rely on him to do nearly everything for her. But he seemed so happy to spend the time with her that she finally relaxed and enjoyed the cheerful Christmas music playing in the background at the store and embraced the well wishes from old friends and acquaintances who were there.

  She had to let her guard down. Because that’s what her issue was; keeping everyone at arm’s length. Defenses were built to last, in her case, and they were mistaken for snobbery. And Bailey had to admit, living in L.A., there was a large degree of snobbery toward the American South that she’d managed to deflect with as much good grace as possible over the years.

  But her people were here. She was from here. And while her accent was still remarked upon and snickered at regularly in California, Bailey had been torn between an enlightened attitude and her roots. Getting out of a small town of any kind produced a fair amount of exposure to different cultures, people, foods, and ideas, and thus, enlightenment.

  But coming back this time, she’d noticed change here. More products for those with food allergies on the store shelves; more faces of color around town. A tattoo parlor? Folks with blue streaks in their hair. Her long-deceased grandmother would have called them hippies.

  So Bailey tried to relax and accept her hometown people. Desiring to believe they didn’t just crave an appearance in the movie being shot because she had connections. Maybe they were happy to see her after twelve years.

  She and Daddy had some nice interactions with folks while they shopped. Until Bailey’s pain meds wore off. Then, she suggested they head home through the maze of Christmas cheer.

  Seth had caught them just as they were climbing into Daddy’s truck. “Hey there. Can I give you a hand?” he’d asked.

  Bailey was so grateful for his appearance she’d nearly wept. She wasn’t sure how to get up that high with only one arm. Bailey had managed it earlier, but she was tiring now, plus, he smelled so nice. “Thanks. I got down okay, but I wondered how I was going to get back inside.”

  “Looks like y’all bought the store out,” he remarked as he pretty much picked her up and lifted her inside the truck. He might have cuddled her just a bit on the way up, but she wasn’t going to call him out on that. Because she might have leaned into him during said cuddle.

  “Thanks for the rescue,” she said. “And yes, we did buy a few things. I figured if I was going to be around for Christmas, we might as well spend some time baking and candy making.

  “Mmmm. Sounds delicious.”

  Seth had an undeniable sweet tooth. He seriously loved fudge, if she remembered correctly. “We might share,” she said and grinned at him, but it might have been more like a grimace since her hip and shoulder were screaming at her.

  “You okay?” He appeared concerned.

  “I’m headed home for my pain pill,” she said tightly.

  “We’ve got your pills here, honey. And look, you’ve got some water,” Daddy said. He handed her both items that were in the back of the cab of the truck.

  The pain had hit so suddenly she wasn’t thinking clearly. “Thanks, Daddy. I’m glad you’ve got me covered.”

  “Y’all go on home then. I’ll see you later.” He kissed her on her head like he’d done after she’d fallen at the race.

  “Thanks again for the boost.”

  Chapter Twenty

  “Darlin’, you okay?” Daddy asked for about the tenth time, after hitting every rut in his dirt road. They’d graded it, but it still needed some serious work.

  Bailey gritted her teeth and tried not to groan in pain at every bump and jarring vibration. “Fine, Daddy.”

  “Do you want to run by the camp and say hello to the guys? They’ve been asking after you.” It was almost dark, and about time for them to have gotten back to their lodging at Grandview.

  Daddy had taken her to run a couple errands before they’d hit the gravel road, and Bailey didn’t think she could endure even another five minutes in the truck. “Maybe we can go tomorrow. I think I need to get off this road.”

  “Gosh, I’m sorry. I know it’s a pain.”

  “It’s not your fault. At least it’s better than it was before.” Thank heaven for small blessings.

  “Well, let’s get you inside then.” Daddy came around to her side of the car to help her out. She was hard to help because anywhere anyone touched her there was either a bruise or a scrape, so Bailey slid slowly down from the seat to the ground with Daddy kind of spotting her.

  Once she got her footing, she held his hand using her uninjured left side. He’d improved the driveway in recent years by adding some pea gravel and landscape timbers. During Bailey’s lifetime here it had been the same as the road. Red dirt and rocks. There were very few paved surfaces outside the city limits of Ministry.

  It was a rural community, and it had stayed that way. Sure they now had the internet and cable television, which had brought in some new information and new ideas to the decidedly small-minded small town. But they were still in rural Alabama.

  “Where’s Groucho?” Bailey asked, wondering why they’d not been greeted by the enthusiastic welcoming canine.

  “I made him stay in the house. In fact, I’d better go on in first and make sure he’s secured in case he gets excited to see you. Sit right here on the swing while I take care of him.”

  They’d maneuvered her up the front porch steps easily enough, but one tap from a dog’s excited paw with some weight behind it might send her right back down them. “Got it.” So, Bailey sat on the front porch and gently swung to and fro, her jacket hanging off her bum shoulder.

  It was so quiet out here it seemed unnatural. Not a single sound besides the rustling of nature, which could be anything. Daddy’s front yard might yield a deer or a family of squirrels at any moment. So unlike what she’d become used to in the city. A bright red cardinal hopped along the ground, its jerky movements capturing Bailey’s attention.

  She sighed. Her thoughts and emotions were a jumble right now. Bailey wished she could write them down. That’s what she did when she was younger; it was how she processed her emotions. A notebook and a pen.

  “Okay, I’ve got that giant squared away with a bone. He’ll be a happy dude for at least a half hour,” Daddy said as he came bursting out the front door.

  “Hey, Daddy,” Bailey started.

  “Yeah, darlin’?” He sat next to her on the swing.

  “Do you think I could get up to the attic?” she asked.

  He frowned. “Now why do you need to go there? I thought you’d found what you were looking for.”

  “I barely got started. I hadn’t even found all my journals and things.”

  He nodded. “How about if I go on up and root around and see what I can find? I hate to try and help you up those creaky stairs. They’re so steep and you’d have to hold on with both hands.”

  True enough. But the same could be said for him. “I don’t want you up there either. Some of the flooring is a little iffy,” Bailey said. She and Seth had noticed a few boards that needed replacing or nailing down while they’d been looking around.

  “Is it? I wasn’t aware of that. I’ll need to check into it.”

  “We’ll figure it out. It’s getting a little frosty out here; I think I’m ready to go inside and sample that chili you’ve been telling me about all afternoon.”

  “I’ll put the fire back on and get it warmed up for us. Joella is coming with bread and salad from work. Seth said he’s got something to bring over for you, so I invited him to stay for supper.”

  They entered the house of her childhood and the love of the past enveloped her like a warm hug. Daddy had a Christmas tree in the corner of the family room with white li
ghts and colorful ornaments. Bailey even recognized a few of her handcrafted ones from elementary school. There were several wrapped gifts under the tree. She hadn’t taken the time to pay attention to it before when she’d been over.

  Bailey could feel his excitement that she planned to stay here at the house, and that she’d be here through Christmas. There’d never been any doubt that she was his favorite person in the world, which made her feel all the more guilty that she’d deprived him of this joy so many times over the years. Yes, she’d flown him to L.A. as much as he’d agree to come visit, both on holidays and other times, but having her home for the holidays was special for him.

  Bailey inhaled the aroma of homemade chili, its spices in perfect harmony, like everything Daddy cooked. Never fussy, but always delicious and perfectly seasoned. Daddy believed in leaving the cast iron pot sitting out for a couple of hours once it finished cooking with no fear of bacteria setting in. In fact, the chili was likely still very warm in that heavy pot.

  The rice cooker sat on the counter with a full pot of rice ready to go. At their house, they ate rice with their chili. And salad and bread, sometimes corn bread. Bailey’s stomach rumbled. She’d eaten cereal for breakfast, but only a protein bar for lunch. Somehow between getting her things gathered and Daddy picking her up, she’d never gotten anything else.

  *

  Now, sitting in Daddy’s kitchen, Bailey was determined to make Seth a pan of his favorite fudge with pecans. Or have Daddy help her do so.

  “Looks like you’re wanting to make some sweet stuff, darlin’.”

  “I feel like I owe Seth a pan of fudge for all he’s done to help me since I’ve been home.”

  “A pan of fudge is a fine thank you, for sure,” he agreed. “Since the dinner’s all cooked, shall we get started on it?”

  Bailey nodded, feeling her pain meds kicking in, thankfully. She reached for the bag with the chocolate.

  Daddy put a hand on hers. “How about you tell me what to do and I’ll be your hands?”