by Noelle Adams
Would he get bored of her? Stop appreciating her the way he clearly did right now?
Would she be tired and on the verge of tears all the time? Would she stop feeling like herself?
She hated the thought of it. It made her stomach twist in a way that caused her to feel physically ill. She wasn’t going to let that happen.
Things were going to stay exactly as they were right now until one or both of them were ready for it to end.
Hopefully not anytime soon.
“Are you staring at me?” Ken mumbled after several minutes. He hadn’t yet opened his eyes.
“No. Why would you ask that?”
“It feels like you’re staring at me. I can feel your brain working from all the way over here.”
She gave a breathy laugh and poked him in the side. “You could not.”
“Yes, I could.” He finally opened his eyes and smiled at her fondly. “You’re so smart that I can feel your smartness from my side of the bed.”
“I’m not that smart.” She felt like she was melting with pleasure because she could see he really meant what he said.
“Yeah, you are.” He rolled over onto his side so he was facing her. He needed to shave, and his hair was sticking out in all directions because he’d gotten sweaty during sex and then fallen asleep with slightly damp hair. “What were you thinking about?”
Not for a moment did she think about lying to him. “I was thinking that you accidentally spent the night.”
He blinked a few times, as if this fact had just occurred to him. “Did I? What time is it?”
“After six.”
“Shit. Sorry. Didn’t mean to.” He scanned her face with his observant blue eyes. “You okay about it?”
“Yeah. You didn’t mean to. It’s not like you’re about to bring me a dozen roses and then offer me a life of domestic bliss. You just fell asleep.”
“I did. I am sorry though. I know it makes you nervous if I don’t leave in the dark so no one can see.”
It did make her nervous, but she felt kind of silly admitting it. She gave a little shrug. “Just be careful leaving. It’ll be fine. I’m mostly worried about poor Marlowe, left all alone all night by himself.”
“Marlowe will be fine. He’s probably sound asleep on his bed right now. As long as I get back in time for his breakfast, he won’t care.”
“I’d say you could bring him with you, but that might get a little complicated.”
Ken snorted. “The only way I could bring him with me is if you didn’t mind a fifty-pound dog sleeping under the covers between us.”
“He does not sleep under the covers!”
“If I let him on the bed, he does. That’s why he’s had to learn to sleep on his dog bed.”
“Poor Marlowe.”
“Poor Marlowe?” He was grinning at her now, his eyes warm and affectionate. “It should be poor Ken. Do you have any idea what it’s like when a dog as big as him insists on sleeping under the covers?”
“Well, he sees you sleep that way, so he thinks that’s the proper way to sleep. He’s a very smart, observant fellow.”
“Uh-huh.”
She reached over to smooth down his hair since it was so dramatically kinked, but it sprang right back to where it had been.
“Something wrong with it?” Ken asked.
“You got too sweaty last night. Now it’s sticking up on end.”
“I did get pretty sweaty, didn’t I?” The texture in his voice was delicious, as if he were remembering something really good.
“Yes, you did. You exerted great effort, and it was definitely appreciated.”
“Hey, you exerted pretty good effort yourself.” He rolled over onto his back and pulled her on top of him, pulling her down into a brief kiss. “And I appreciated that just as much.”
She smiled down at him, feeling soft and warm and a little jittery. “You’re not thinking of a repeat performance this morning, are you? Because honestly...”
He laughed low in his throat. “Afraid there won’t be much performing from me at the moment. I need some recovery time after last night.”
“Good. Me too.” She kissed him again. It was supposed to be short and sweet—the way he’d kissed her—but he held her head down and deepened the kiss. His body was big and hot and hard with the texture of his skin and his body hair and the angles of his shape. She was lying on top of him, her legs splayed out on either side of his thighs, and she was acutely conscious of the form of him. Hard where she was soft.
When her heart started to flutter, she pulled out of the kiss and instead rested her head near his shoulder. He stroked up and down her back, bottom, and thighs. Slow and gentle. Undemanding.
“So the trip was good?” she asked after a few minutes. He’d texted her a few times a day—just checking in and giving her updates on what he and his daughters were doing—but they hadn’t really talked since he’d left town.
“Yeah. We had a good time. The girls really enjoyed it. You should see them in the mobcaps and aprons I bought them.”
“I bet they’re adorable.”
“They are. Heather got a set of books she’s excited about. She’s turning into a real reader.”
“That’s great.”
“You and her would probably have a lot to talk about.”
She would have felt squirmy at that comment, but his tone was so relaxed and casual it was impossible to read any pressure into it. He wasn’t trying to get her to bond with his daughters. He was just making an idle comment. “Probably so. Jessie doesn’t like to read?”
“Not as much. But she’s two years younger, so she might start to like it more later on.”
“What does she like to do?”
“Mostly play with dolls.”
“I always liked to play with dolls too. I used to make up elaborate stories and have my dolls act it out.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I spent hours doing that.”
“What stories did you have them act out?” He sounded genuinely interested.
“All kinds. Usually they were inspired by books I’d read or movies I’d watched. My dolls would go on all kinds of adventures. And sometimes they’d go to fancy boarding schools. And sometimes they’d get makeovers.”
Ken’s body shook with his amusement. “Sounds like it would have been quite an exciting playtime for you and your dolls.”
“It definitely was.”
“Do you ever write stories now?”
Madeline lifted her head to check his face. His expression was mild. Still relaxed. “Yeah.”
“Have you written a book?”
“I’ve been playing around with one for the past couple of years. I’ve been too busy to spend as much time on it as I’d like, and it’s sometimes hard to get motivation.”
“Why is it hard to get motivation?”
“Because it’s a ton of work. And when it’s done, it probably won’t go anywhere.”
“Why not? Wouldn’t you try to get it published?”
“Of course I would. But I’m probably not that good.”
“Sure you are.” He was frowning up at her now. “Any book you wrote would be great. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I don’t know.” Her cheeks were warming, and she was wishing she’d never started this conversation.
“You write all those poems for the flower shop. They’re hugely popular. You’re a fantastic writer. You know you are.”
“I’m good at the poems, but those are different than a book. They’re... they’re fun. They’re not... serious.”
“Writing fun can’t be easy, and you’re good at that. You’ll be good at anything you want to do. If you want to write a book, you should do it.” He stroked her hair back since it was falling forward over her shoulder. “I’d read it.”
She gave him a wobbly smile. She didn’t know why she was suddenly emotional. “Thank you. You might be the only one, but thank you.”
“You’ve got a bunch of frien
ds who would read it too. And I bet there are a ton of other people who would love it. I know it’s a lot of work, but if it’s something you want, you shouldn’t be afraid to do it.”
She nodded and rested her head on his chest again, mostly because his earnest expression was making her nervous. “Thanks, Ken. I’ve been working on it on and off. I’ll keep going.”
“Good. You should.”
Madeline didn’t say it, but she couldn’t help but compare Ken’s encouragement with Josh’s response to her work on the book. He always complained since it took her away from doing things for him.
That was one of the differences in a casual relationship.
She didn’t have to worry about things like that.
THE FOLLOWING DAY, Ken strolled into Anna’s in the morning for breakfast, just like he did every day. There were about six people already eating today, and most of them waved at or greeted him as he entered.
He’d lived in Azalea all his life. He knew about half the people in town well, and the other half he at least recognized to say hi to. It was one of the perks of living in a small town. That and very little traffic.
One of the downsides was that everyone knew your business. It was a miracle that he and Madeline had been able to keep their relationship secret for so long.
“Hey, Sheriff Harley,” the waitress called out to him from across the room. “Your usual?”
“Yeah. Thanks.” He glanced around, trying to decide where to sit. He normally sat at the counter so as not to take up one of the booths. But Jacob Worth was sitting near the window with Matthew Jenkins.
Ken like Jacob a lot. Considered him a friend now. And Matthew was Madeline’s brother. He lived in Richmond and worked as an architect, so Ken wasn’t sure what he was doing in town this morning. Madeline certainly hadn’t mentioned it. But it would be rude not to go over and say hello.
He headed over, and Jacob grinned and moved over to make room for him at their table.
After normal greetings, Ken asked Matthew, “What brought you to town?”
Matthew was older than Madeline by a couple of years, so he was probably twenty-eight or twenty-nine. He had the same coloring as his sister, paired with a square-jawed face and an athlete’s body.
“He’s helping me with plans for the downtown buildings,” Jacob said. “I want to get a start at fixing more of them up.”
For a long time, Azalea’s downtown area had gone the way of a lot of other small towns. A lot of empty storefronts and run-down buildings. But Jacob had recently inherited all the buildings on one of the central blocks in town from his grandfather, and he’d been slowly working on renovations and bringing in more businesses.
“Ah. That’s great news.” Ken eyed Matthew discreetly, trying to match him up with Madeline. He had the same serious demeanor as Madeline—a pose that hid sharp intelligence and a lively wit. Madeline was close to her brother. Ken knew they talked and texted regularly. But he doubted she’d told him about her relationship with Ken.
Matthew’s gaze was polite. Friendly enough. But it didn’t appear to be covering any knowledge of Ken’s significance.
Not that Ken was particularly significant to Madeline. He’d just been her sex partner for a month.
It felt like more to Ken. It felt like everything. But it obviously didn’t to her, and he’d been doing pretty good at controlling unrealistic expectations.
“I stopped by your place yesterday evening,” Jacob mentioned after Ken accepted the coffee Brenda brought over for him.
“Oh yeah?” Ken grew still, his heart jumping slightly. He made sure he sounded unconcerned. “Did you need something?”
“No. I was running, saw your house, and just stopped by to say hello. I heard Marlowe barking, but I guess you weren’t home.” Jacob’s eyes were hazel. Far too observant for Ken’s comfort.
“No. I was out. Sorry I missed you.” Ken sipped his coffee. Prayed that none of his rush of nerves were visible on his face.
“Your neighbor came out to talk to me,” Jacob continued. He definitely had something to say here.
“Mrs. McCracken?”
“Yep.”
“I guess she had a lot to say for herself.” Ken silently cursed his nosy, eighty-four-year-old neighbor and then felt guilty for doing so. She was a kind, generous woman, and she had very little to do aside from looking out her window.
“She sure did.” Jacob was almost smiling now. “Guess you’ve been going out at night a lot.”
“Hmm.” Ken focused on his coffee and didn’t meet the other man’s eyes.
“You getting back together with Katie?”
Ken was so surprised by the question that he answered it honestly. “No! Course not. She’s been seeing Russell Meers for a few months now.”
“Then I guess you’ve got a girlfriend you haven’t been telling anyone about.” Jacob posed the words as a casual comment, rather than a question. He seemed to be having a very good time with the conversation.
Ken was not having a good time. He was terrified of giving something away when Madeline was so committed to keeping them a secret. She would never forgive him if he slipped.
He regained enough of his common sense to refrain from answering rather than babbling out an unconvincing explanation.
“Good for you,” Matthew said, looking interested only in a mild way—like none of this conversation connected to him at all. “It’s been a while since you got divorced, hasn’t it?”
“Yeah. More than two years.”
“So who is she?” Jacob asked. “Why keep it secret?”
Ken had no idea what to say and was afraid anything he said might give the truth away, so he again said nothing.
Jacob was still amused, but he also looked slightly confused. Of course he couldn’t think of a reason why Ken wouldn’t be open about who he’d been dating. “What’s up with everyone keeping secrets lately? Ria was telling me that—” He broke off the words without warning. His expression changed. His eyes slanted quickly over to Matthew and then back to Ken again.
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
He knew.
Ria must have told him something about Madeline being secretive about a relationship, and Jacob had managed to put the pieces together.
“Just hoping for privacy,” Ken said, still trying for laid-back detachment when he was feeling anything but.
Jacob gave a brief nod. He was clearly taken aback by what he’d mentally pieced together, but he was a smart guy and a quick thinker, and he understood what Ken hadn’t said. “Sure. No problem. Why don’t you take a look at these plans Matthew has drawn up?”
It was a kind gesture—his changing the subject like that. Ken appreciated it. Matthew appeared completely oblivious to undercurrents, which was a relief. Ken didn’t want to know what the man would say if he found out some old country sheriff was screwing his beautiful, brilliant younger sister.
Ken did his best to keep up his end of the conversation, but his heart was racing the whole time and his blood was pumping with impending crisis.
Madeline wasn’t going to like this.
She wasn’t going to like it at all.
HE NORMALLY WENT INTO the office after breakfast to take care of emails, paperwork, and logistical nonsense so he had the rest of the day to handle emergencies and issues that came up, but today he went over to the library instead.
Madeline was working there this morning, and he needed to talk to her.
To his relief, he found her in the back room near where he’d kissed her the first time. The library wasn’t empty today, but most of the people were clustered near the computers in the front. No one was around when Ken found her in the back.
“Hey,” she said, smiling with a surprised pleasure that went right to his heart. “What are you doing here?” Before he could answer, she picked up a book from the cart beside her. “I’m shelving books. The high schooler who works weekends bailed on us, so they really got piled up and someone had
to do it. I don’t mind.” She smiled as she slid a book into a small space between two others. “I kind of like to put things into their proper places.”
He would have kissed her had they not been in public and had he not been so uptight over what he had to tell her. He cleared his throat, trying to figure out how to begin.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, frowning as she turned toward him. “Is something wrong?”
“Uh, not really. I mean, I hope not. Just something I wanted to tell you right away.”
“Okay.” She came out from behind the cart, her hands twisting together. “You’re making me nervous. What is it?”
“I was having breakfast with Jacob and Matthew,” he began.
She sucked in a sharp breath. “You didn’t tell them, did you?”
“No!” He sounded more vehement than he’d intended, but surely she didn’t think he was such an asshole to spill a secret she’d asked him not to share. “Of course I didn’t.”
Her face was already relaxing. “I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t have done that. I didn’t mean to... I’m sorry.” Her eyes were big and worried.
“It’s fine. And the truth is I’m afraid Jacob might have figured it out. I didn’t tell him anything. Not a single word. But I guess Ria might have mentioned something about you having a secret relationship, and then when I wouldn’t tell him who I was dating, he kind of...”
Madeline grew very still as he spoke. “Did he say something?”
“No. But I could see his mind working. He didn’t say anything to Matthew. Matthew doesn’t know anything. But I think Jacob does. And I think he’ll probably say something to Ria. I mean, it makes sense he’d...” Ken trailed off. He was pleased that his voice still sounded relaxed when he was feeling anything but.
This felt like it could be the end for them. Madeline had been very clear the whole time that she was only comfortable with them together if no one knew about them.
And Ken couldn’t stand it. His stomach churned sickeningly, and he was mentally flailing around for some way to save what had become incredibly important to him.
Madeline wasn’t looking at his face. She stared at his shirt as she took a long, slow breath.
