A Pale Light in the Black

by K. B. Wagers

  It was a testament to the strength of the NeoG that not a single team held out.

  According to Jenks, it wasn’t something that would ever fly in the main Boarding Games. There was too much bad blood between the branches. But the preliminaries, especially for NeoG, were different. Max had felt the camaraderie already in a hundred different ways, and once more she felt she’d made the right choice in choosing the Neos over everything else.

  The clock in the corner of her vision was ticking relentlessly. They were down to less than ten minutes in the Big Game, and the door at the end of the hallway upstairs was where their target was being kept.

  Unless I got this totally wrong, Max thought. Please don’t let me have gotten this wrong.

  “Got it, LT. Let’s move.” Sapphi scrambled out of her seat and the pair headed for the door.

  “Jenks, Tamago, we’re coming around the corner. Form up, we’re headed for upstairs.”

  “Roger that, Lieutenant. Where’re the others?”

  “Downstairs holding the door.” Rosa’s reply was breathy. “We’re good, go ahead. Max has the door code.”

  “Clock’s ticking,” Jenks said as she and Tamago met them at the stairs.

  “No radio chatter,” Sapphi said quietly. “I’m showing two people in a room just off the stairs. More in a room at the end of the hall.”

  Jenks looked to Max, who nodded once. “You two up the stairs, clear the room. Quietly. We’ll be right behind you.”

  “You got faith in me.” Jenks winked and started up the stairs, Tamago on her heels. Max and Sapphi followed, swords out. They stopped at the top of the stairs, Jenks gesturing silently to Tamago, who nodded in understanding.

  Max took a deep breath as the pair slipped in through the doorway and watched as Jenks bypassed the first guard, the distraction of her sudden appearance enough for Tamago to sneak up and deliver a killing blow to the back of his suit. Jenks locked the second guard up in a choke hold that in a real-life situation would have knocked him out in seconds, but the man tapped her arm in acknowledgment and then grinned at them as he sat down on the floor.

  Max ignored the “dead” men. “Sapphi?”

  “End of the hall,” she replied. “Three standing, one sitting. Seated person is in the far corner. Others are opposite side of the room near the door. How do you want to proceed?”

  “I’ve got the door code from Stephan,” Max said. “I’m moving forward. Jenks, you and Tamago on my six. When I open the door I want you two through it. You take the bad guys. I go for the admiral. Rosa, how are we downstairs?”

  “Good,” she replied. “Clear and quiet.”

  “You, Sapphi, and Tamago keep your eyes peeled.”

  Max held her breath and crouched by the door. She entered the code, then flashed the countdown with her right hand before punching enter. The door hissed open.

  It took the three men in the room several seconds to register what was happening, but by then Jenks and Tamago were on them. Max sprinted across the room, grabbing for Admiral Chen and pulling her out of her chair to the floor.

  She felt the sting of a gunshot hit her in the back, her suit flaring with approximate pain, and muttered a curse.

  “Targets are down,” Jenks announced.

  “I’m hit,” Max said. “Admiral, are you all right?”

  “A little bruised, Lieutenant, but otherwise unharmed. That was quick thinking.”

  “Where, Lieutenant?” Tamago asked, dropping to her knees next to them.

  “Back. I’m assuming not fatal or I’d have lit up like a Christmas tree.”

  “It’s not, but you’re going to lose a kidney if we don’t get you out of here.”

  “I’ve got a spare,” Max replied, and heard Admiral Chen choke back a laugh.

  “And that’s time, Zuma’s Ghost,” the game runner’s voice announced through the coms. “Excellent work achieving your target in twelve minutes and forty-two seconds. No friendlies dead, one teammate injured—” There was a pause and then the woman continued, humor lacing her next words. “But since Lieutenant Carmichael threw herself into harm’s way to keep the admiral safe, I’m inclined to score you as no casualties at all. Nicely done.”

  Rosa knew two things as she watched Jenks in the final cage match. The first was that Tamago was right and whatever was bothering her was connected to Armstrong. The second was that Jenks was going to win the fight regardless, just like she’d defeated Commander Till earlier in the day.

  It was hard not to be bitter, at least in some corner of her mind. Jenks could win distracted as she was because she was just that good. Rosa could pour all her focus into the sword fight and still lose.

  “You lost close, though; stop beating yourself up.”

  Ma’s admonition just after her championship match with D’Arcy had ended echoed in her head. He was right: they were still ahead on points and had dominated every comp except the sword so far.

  With only Jenks’s fight to go, Rosa knew their spot in the main Games was assured, win or lose here. The only thing left to decide was who would take second place—Honorable Intent or Dread Treasure.

  Rosa would gladly fight with either at her side. When this was all said and done it was NeoG against the rest of them, not two separate teams fighting for a win.

  But if I don’t get my shit together and get better at this, we’re not going to win. It pissed her off that that thought was already circling her head, like water down a drain.

  “Commander.” Max slipped into the open spot at Rosa’s side. The two black eyes she’d earned from Commander Till’s well-placed kick were starting to fade to a greenish stain against her light brown skin, but they were still obvious.

  Max seemed to be wearing them as a point of pride, and Rosa wasn’t about to begrudge her the badge of honor.

  “She’s going to beat him,” Max said after a moment. “She’s better than he is anyway, but his heart’s not in this fight.”

  Rosa blinked. “He wouldn’t throw this—”

  “No, not deliberately.” Max glanced to Rosa and then back at the cage. “I don’t think it’s intentional. He loves her too much to do that to her. He’s just tired of fighting.”

  “Tamago mentioned Armstrong was the problem,” Rosa murmured as everything snapped into place on that particular puzzle, and it was Max’s turn to blink. “Oh, he told her he loved her. That’s what’s got her all worked up.”

  “She’s set to run.” Max smiled sadly as Jenks kicked Luis’s feet out from underneath him. He hit the mat hard and Jenks pounced. “She’s very good at building walls to keep herself safe. He got inside somehow and it’s terrifying for her. She doesn’t think she deserves whatever he’s willing to give. I like Luis, though, and according to Tamago he might be patient enough to—” Max broke off as the ref blew the whistle and separated the fighters.

  “I’m torn between thinking you should have ended up with Intel and being sort of relieved you didn’t, because that is a mind-blowing ability you have there,” Rosa said as the ref blew the final whistle, raising Jenks’s hand to declare her the winner on points, and the crowd went wild.

  Max shrugged a shoulder, eyes still tracking the pair in the cage as Jenks offered Luis a hand to shake and he pulled her into a hug instead. “I’m right where I belong, Commander.”

  “I’m glad to hear it.” Rosa hugged Max, feeling her jerk in surprise. “We just won the preliminaries, Lieutenant. It’s time to celebrate.”

  The afterparty was chaos of the best kind. Jenks wandered through the darkened club, drink in hand, letting the music thumping through the air into her veins clear out the remnants of the tension from the Games.

  They had twenty weeks now. Four and a half months to prepare, to train, to work with Dread Treasure on a game plan.

  That was for tomorrow. Jenks resolutely pushed the thoughts out of her head as Tai grabbed her and spun her onto the dance floor in an exceptionally smooth move that didn’t spill her drink.

&n
bsp; “You are oddly single, Khan,” they said, voice raised to be heard above the music.

  “I’m always single,” she replied, and watched their silver eyebrow lift.

  “You know what I mean. I saw Armstrong in the back corner, also oddly single. Usually by this point in the festivities you two have dropped smoke bombs and vanished.” Tai grinned.

  God damn it, did everyone know?

  “Are you fishing for gossip or a punch to the face?”

  “You think I want to end up like Pashol? I’m just assessing my chances with you tonight.”

  Jenks hummed in the back of her throat, grinning at the lanky petty officer over the rim of her glass as they danced. “Tempting, but I’m on lieutenant babysitting duty,” she lied. “Don’t want her to get corrupted by all you wastrels her very first Games.”

  “You are such a spoilsport. Max is a doll and we’d never do a thing to hurt her.” Tai leaned down and kissed her and for a moment Jenks was very tempted to fess up to her lie and drag Tai into a dark corner.

  Instead she pulled away with a sigh of regret covered by the music. “Go find Tamago. I caught them eyeing your butt yesterday.”

  “Really?” Tai grinned. “You are an amazing human being, Jenks, don’t let anyone ever tell you differently.” With a dramatically blown kiss, they wandered off into the crowd.

  Jenks spotted Max in an animated discussion with Commander Till, clearly not in need of babysitting if the glass of water in front of her was any indication.

  Ma and Rosa were both off with their families. Sapphi was probably already back in her bunk asleep, this club being the furthest thing from her favorite place to be.

  Which meant she was flying solo at the moment.

  “Fuck,” Jenks muttered, and against her better judgment she headed for the back of the club. It took her a while to work her way through the crowd, collecting hugs and kisses and congratulations along the way. Not to mention a healthy dose of people who actually were trying to get the latest gossip about her and Armstrong.

  “I thought we were being discreet, but judging from how many people have asked me if I’m okay this evening, I’m guessing we weren’t?” she said by way of greeting as she dropped down onto the couch next to Luis.

  “You too, huh?” he asked, shooting her a sidelong glance and a halfhearted smile.

  “Yeah.” Jenks rubbed a hand over the back of her neck. “You wanna get out of here?”

  “No, I’m good.”

  Jenks blinked, unable to stop her sharp inhale. “Oh, Luis, no. I meant, fuck.” The panic welled up in her throat as she reached for his hand and he moved away. “To talk. You want to get out of here so we can talk?”

  She’d hurt him. The surprised look on his face told her just how badly, and Jenks felt ten thousand times an asshole.

  Luis pushed to his feet, leaving his untouched drink on the table, and for a moment she was certain he was just going to walk off without her. But some nonexistent god was watching out for her and he stopped, turned back to her, and held out his hand. “Come on.”

  No one stopped them on the way out, no one even said anything, but Jenks felt like the eyes of the entire place were on them as they slipped through the doors and out into the night.

  She busied herself with tugging her hoodie over her head, protection against the springtime chill of London, and then tucked her hands into the pocket as they started down the street. She wasn’t sure if Luis had a path in mind but was content to walk at his side in silence.

  At least for a while. Twenty minutes in she got restless. “You know the Thames flooded this whole area when the Collapse happened? It’s receded some, but not all the way back to twentieth-century levels.”

  “Jenks.” Luis stopped and leaned his forearms on the guardrail overlooking the flowing waters of the new Thames. “What is this thing between us now?”

  It hurt to have him use her nickname—she’d never realized just how much until it happened. She pulled her hands free of her hoodie and shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought I did, Luis. If you’d asked me six months or a year ago? I’d have said we were friends. Competitors. People who occasionally had sex.”

  “And now?”

  Jenks boosted herself up onto the railing, hooking her feet to secure herself as she tried to find the words. “I don’t know. You sprang this on me at the worst possible time and I can’t get my bearings. How can you love me?”

  His eyes snapped open. “How can I not? Holy shit, Dai, how can I not love you after all these years? I cared about you in the beginning, you know I did or I’d never have slept with you.”

  “I’m not worth it.”

  Luis moved fast, clamping his hands down on the railing on either side of her, boxing her in, and Jenks fought against the immediate desire to run that started screaming in her brain.

  “Tell me you don’t love me. That’s your right. But you don’t get to tell me if I think you’re worth it. I love you. Everything about you. I love your snarky commentary on the show recommendations you send me. I love how for years you somehow managed to ask about my kids without actually asking about them and that it was simply because you cared, Dai, you cared about me and you cared about them.

  “I love how dedicated you are to your job, how fucking good you are at it. I love the way you dance around to the music in your head without a care in the universe. Jesus, I even love the way you punch me in the face because I am apparently a goddamned masochist.”

  Jenks stared up at him. The feelings rolling around in her chest were so overwhelming she couldn’t think. She wanted to run and hide and pretend like this all hadn’t happened. “I don’t know what to say.”

  Luis cupped her face with one hand and pressed his forehead to hers. “Say you’ll go back to Jupiter and think about it. Say you’ll keep talking to me and you won’t shut me out. Because I know you and I know you want to run. Just promise me you won’t, that you’ll put some trust in me and in this. I’m okay with waiting.

  “I’d wait forever for you.”

  “Luis, I’m not—” She leaned back, almost lost her balance, and grabbed for him before she fell into the Thames. “I’m not—” Words failed her and she swore, pulling his mouth down to hers.

  He didn’t resist, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around her as he kissed her back. This she could do, she thought, pouring all the feelings she couldn’t find words for into the kiss.

  Luis pulled away. “Open your eyes, Dai.”

  She did, and the look on his face ripped the breath from her lungs.

  “You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. I need you to trust that. Trust me. And trust yourself. Okay?”

  “I can’t promise you forever,” she said.

  “You don’t have to. Just promise me tomorrow.”

  T-minus Twenty Weeks until the Boarding Games

  “The look on D’Arcy’s face when you knocked him on his ass!” Jenks was laughing so hard she could barely get the words out and Tamago was making a wheezing noise that had Max a little concerned. “How did you know he’d come around that corner?”

  “He’d done it in the previous two actions,” Max replied with a shrug. “It worked both times. So it made sense he’d try the same thing with us.”

  “It makes sense to you,” Rosa said from her spot behind the counter as she prepped dinner. “The rest of us are still in awe of your ability to do shit like that.”

  Max grinned. The adrenaline of the ship was still running high even an hour after they’d taken off from the docking bay and headed away from Earth back to Jupiter. The shiny trophy for the preliminaries that got passed from winning team to winning team every year had returned to its place of honor on the dining table of the crew quarters on the upper deck and she’d noticed she wasn’t the only one who would occasionally reach out and brush her fingers over it.

  Her nerves had settled and she felt almost, if not quite, a part of the team. Even Jenks had softened, though Max wondered if that had
anything to do with the kiss she’d seen the petty officer share with Armstrong just before coming into the docking bay.

  It seemed she’d been wrong about Jenks running. Though to be honest, that wasn’t a surprise.

  The world might end when I figure her out.

  Jenks leaned back in her chair, hands hooked behind her head. “Fifteen out of ten, would totally fight again.”

  “Good,” Rosa said with a snort. “Because you get to in four and a half months.”

  Max blinked when Jenks bared her teeth in what could only be called a savage grin. “I am so looking forward to it. We’re going to take those Navy punks apart, piece by piece.”

  “Hey, LT?” Sapphi popped her head up through the stairwell. “You got a minute to look at something?”

  “Sure.” Max got up from her chair.

  “Tell Ma dinner’s ready in five minutes,” Rosa called after her, and Max raised a hand in acknowledgment as she followed Sapphi down the stairs.

  “Hey, Ma, Rosa said dinner in five,” Max said as she pulled herself up the few steps to the bridge. “What’s up?”

  “Remember that press guy who was following you around at the Games?”

  “Yeah, he up and vanished on the fourth day, which I thought was weird.” Max trailed off at Sapphi’s grim look. “What is it?”

  “I thought I’d look for him, you know, just in case we did actually need to do something about it.” Sapphi grabbed Max’s hand and pulled her to the bridge. “I’ve been through every single press pass issued to every single person.”

  “And?”

  “I can’t find him anywhere.”

  “What? How?”

  “He’s not in the system. He’s not in security. I don’t know how he got his pass to work throughout the whole event without leaving a trace, but he did.” Sapphi tapped at the screen at the back of the bridge. “I did some additional searching and was able to pull up images of him on two public streams of your events. But they’re quick, almost like he—”