Unicorn Unashamed (Rainbow Fever Book 1)

by Riley Rivers

  “Yes, yeah, fuck. Okay, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” Raymond knelt up behind him, lined up, and started to guide himself in, holding onto Josh’s hip with one hand as he let Josh adjust to each inch.

  But it wasn’t enough yet. “Fuck me, Raymond, please, I can take it. I want to take it—take all of you—” He worked his hips and pressed back, the feeling of Raymond’s thumbs digging into him an added sensation of pleasure. A reminder that Raymond was losing control, that Josh was making him do it. Maybe he’d have bruises later. Maybe Raymond would kiss them.

  For now, Raymond, at Josh’s coaxing, started up a punishing pace until Josh was seeing stars on every thrust in.

  “Fuck me harder,” Josh gasped at the onslaught. “Come on, let me really feel you. I can take more hn give me more—” He was on fire, winding up and up and up. He didn’t even need to touch his dick; this was enough scent and sensation for him to lose it, a state of overwhelming arousal that was just touch and sound and smell, the feeling of Raymond fucking into him.

  “Close, Josh,” Raymond panted. “I’m so close—”

  “Th-then knot me,” Josh begged. “Stretch me as wide as you can. I need it, I need you, please I—please—”

  Raymond came with a groan, and he was louder than a lot of Josh’s previous partners. Josh liked it. Liked the knot stretching him to the brim even more.

  He moved his hips just to feel the knot pull at him, moaning at the sensation of Raymond’s come filling him up as it swelled.

  Raymond wound his arms around Josh’s waist and gently guided him back until they were both sitting, Josh in his lap. The change in position pushed the knot even deeper, and Josh let out another moan as he wiggled happily. He’d never been knotted before and it felt incredible. As did Raymond’s arms wound around him, Raymond’s chest pressing up against his back. This was… this was everything he wanted. Being warm and safe and surrounded and full and fucked.

  He was so caught up with drifting in bliss that the hand around his dick was a surprise. But a fantastic one, and he hissed in satisfaction as Raymond stroked him.

  Feeling suddenly giddy, Josh lolled his head back onto Raymond’s shoulder and turned to press his mouth to Raymond’s jaw, sucking hard. He was going to leave marks and revel in the chance to do so.

  “Good?” Josh could hear the satisfied smile in Raymond’s voice as he angled his hand and changed positions, playing while Josh writhed in his lap.

  “More, ahn, more—”

  At last overwhelmed, the heat rolled through him in waves as Josh came all over Raymond’s hand before he sagged back against Raymond’s chest, panting, eyes sliding shut again.

  Raymond pressed a kiss to his temple and Josh let out a contented sigh. “That was fucking awesome.”

  It startled a laugh out of Raymond, and he curled one hand over Josh’s hip, stroking at the dip there. Josh lazily opened his eyes just in time to see Raymond bringing his other hand to his mouth to lick it clean.

  “Mm,” Josh murmured, “I like that you do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Like to taste me.”

  “I am going to put my mouth on every inch of your body,” Raymond said with conviction, like a promise. It made Josh glow and reach for him, twisting as much as he could in Raymond’s lap to press forward for more kisses.

  He was happy to lose himself to touching again, and Raymond seemed happy to give it. Even once Raymond’s knot went down, they continued to cling to each other until Josh’s eyes started to drift shut against his will, and he couldn’t hide a yawn.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled.

  Raymond chuckled. “It’s okay. It’s like, three in the morning. Go to sleep.”

  “You too,” Josh said. “Sleep. Here.” He’d added the last part in just in case Raymond was going to be stupid and try to go back to the couch.

  Raymond pressed a kiss to Josh’s cheek. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

  “G’night.”

  “Night.”

  Josh snuggled down against Raymond’s chest and closed his eyes, breathing out.

  ***

  Raymond liked his sleep and naps were a vital part of his life, but he had been getting up before six to run early-bird sessions for so long that even without an alarm, his body still regularly woke up around five just because it could.

  Which meant he was up with the sun like usual, even as he grumbled and tried to hang on to sleep. He was comfortable and warm, surrounded by the most welcoming, enticing scent he’d ever smelled, and the person in his arms exuded contentment. It made Raymond feel proud and powerful, because he’d done that. He’d been the one to satiate Josh and give him what he wanted—needed. What he’d begged for even as he seemed to lose it.

  Raymond had never seen Josh like that before; needy and dazed and overwhelmed. But he’d loved it, loved that he’d gotten to see it. How Josh had seemed too affected to do anything but take. It was almost as if he’d been unable to control it.

  Unable to...

  “Please, it hurts—”

  It hit him all at once: Josh clearly hadn’t been in his right mind.

  Raymond’s eyes flew open, and the first thing he saw was Josh’s pale neck, absolutely covered in deep purple and red bruises.

  He’d done that, Raymond thought, stomach roiling. He’d fucked Josh and knotted him and marked him up, trying to lay a claim before they’d even talked and—

  They hadn’t. They hadn’t talked. Josh was already everything Raymond wanted, but with Raymond finally getting a full face of his scent and the added allure from Josh’s virile period he’d been thick and stupid and the true stereotype of an alpha wolf looking for a knothole.

  When Josh had offered himself up, Raymond had gone for it instead of doing the right thing and taking a step back. And when Josh had begged for it, obviously out of his head, Raymond had kept going.

  Insides ice, Raymond took a slow, shaky breath and pulled away from Josh’s warmth. Josh let out a little unhappy noise as Raymond extricated himself from the bed, and Raymond froze, desperately hoping Josh wouldn’t wake up. He couldn’t face him. Not like this, not now, not with a Josh who would be coming down from a high of need and satiation. He knew enough about unicorns to know that it was like coming out of a fog, and that it took awhile for the desire to touch to go away.

  If Josh woke up now, he still might be in the fog and not fully realize what Raymond had done. He might—he might even seek Raymond out. Raymond had to give Josh the distance to come back to himself. He had to leave.

  Overcome with shame, Raymond hurriedly gathered up his things, pulled on his clothes, and left the apartment.

  ***

  Josh woke up slowly, without the buzzing half-desperation that had been a background constant for the last three days. It was always especially nice to luxuriate in the feeling that resulted from coming out of a virile period he didn’t spend on his own. He felt properly used, which appealed to his baser instincts, and was sore and tender in the best way.

  Opening his eyes to find an empty bed was a bit of a let-down, but he wasn’t going to blame Raymond for wanting to get up. Josh knew that Raymond was an early riser, and what with it being—he checked his phone—after nine, Raymond had to have gotten antsy.

  And if Raymond was up, Josh wanted to be a good host.

  Shower first though, he decided, when he rolled out of bed, pulling on his robe before grabbing a change of clothes for when he was done with his shower.

  He very briefly entertained the thought of maybe asking Raymond to join him, but discarded the thought just as quickly. Josh wasn’t going to push for aftercare if that wasn’t Raymond’s jam, because while it was nice, Josh didn’t need it. Yeah, he enjoyed being cuddly and tactile after sex a bit more than most, but that was totally typical of unicorns. It went hand in hand with the general need and desire for closeness.

  Truth be told, Josh didn’t get aftercare a lot anyway, since most of his interactions now were one-night stands. S
o he was used to going without. It just would have been… nice, to wake up to Raymond still in bed with him and wanting to cuddle a little before they got started on their day.

  “Raymond?” Josh called as he left his bedroom. “I’m going to take a shower, but is there anything you need? I hope you helped yourself to breakfast, by the way.”

  He was met with silence. Confused, Josh walked into his living room.

  Empty.

  Frowning now, Josh checked the kitchen, then the bathroom, and finally checked the area by his front door to discover that Raymond’s shoes were gone.

  Oh.

  Josh tried to brush off how being left alone while still coming down from a more-intense-than-usual virile period made him feel altogether too trembly and his insides freeze. It was pretty late in the morning. Raymond must have had things to do. Like work. Of course. Raymond had some early morning students. It was silly of Josh to expect him to just blow them off because he and Raymond had had sex.

  Still. It would have been nice for Raymond to maybe wake him up to say goodbye. Or leave a note. Something.

  Maybe… maybe Raymond had just wanted the one night? To get the want out of his system? Maybe he felt awkward staying, knowing that Josh was most likely going to be a little clingy in the morning, if he thought he could get away with it.

  The thoughts hurt more than Josh would have liked them too.

  Whatever. It was fine. He’d give Raymond some space and not bother him. Josh had plenty of work to catch up on anyway, so he’d be able to keep himself busy. And he had chores to do too—the ones that fell by the wayside when he was too busy buzzing to want to do laundry or go grocery shopping. It’d be easy enough to pass the time.

  Maybe he’d text Raymond later in the evening, just to check in. Make sure they were still on for Friday.

  Josh really hoped they were. He really hoped the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach was an overreaction.

  He hoped he hadn’t just ruined everything.

  Chapter Eight

  Raymond usually forwent a typical breakfast before an early morning class, preferring to just down a couple of the energy bites he made at home in lieu of working out on a full stomach. He was barely able to finish one though, before he had to get his head in the game for his first clients.

  By the time his midday break in sessions rolled around, he was still feeling too sick to eat. Dark thoughts kept circling around and around in his head. He’d taken advantage of someone. He’d taken advantage of Josh. Who was not only a client but a dear friend, and who had trusted Raymond to take him home and then had trusted him enough to invite him into his space.

  Josh, knowing that he wasn’t in the best of shape, had trusted Raymond enough to let Raymond see that he wasn’t himself. He had most definitely trusted Raymond to not leap at the chance to fuck him, especially when Josh wasn’t in his right mind.

  God, he had messed up so badly.

  He kept reaching for his phone throughout the day, just checking to see if Josh had texted him, and then cycling through disappointment and resignation to find that he hadn’t. Of course Josh wasn’t going to contact him. He had to have realized what had happened by now. Raymond wouldn’t be surprised if he never heard from Josh again. Fuck, he certainly wouldn’t blame him. He didn’t even know what he would do if Josh did end up making contact. It wasn’t like there were enough apologies in the world for what he had done.

  He was so antsy that two different clients commented on it and then Raymond had to smile and make his excuses and attempt to focus. When he said goodbye to his last client of the night, he immediately laced up his shoes and went on a run. Trying to clear his head, at least for as long as his feet pounded on the pavement.

  He ran until he was exhausted and had to walk part of the way back. It helped, being almost too tired to think. Except after he grabbed his stuff and went to his car to drive home, he was slapped in the face by Josh’s scent, not yet dissipated from his car seats. He hadn’t noticed it that morning, with Josh’s fresh scent still in his nose from waking up next to him but now…

  He drove home with every window rolled down, gritting his teeth against tears, because even after everything, even with this new knowledge that he was the worst kind of person, Raymond still found the scent so, so good.

  At least the drive aired out his car. The scent was pretty much gone by the time he pulled into his lot at his apartment complex.

  He stumbled through his door and collapsed on his couch, phone buzzing up as he did so. He pulled it out of his pocket with the same mixture of anticipation-trepidation he’d been riding all day, to find that it was a message from Curtis.

  And so ends our second day at Disney World! It was a lot of fun, and I think Simon really enjoyed it. It was nice to see him actually relax a little. How went your day? Anything you wanna tell me about Josh? ;)

  Raymond bit his lip. Cutis. He could maybe talk to Curtis. Raymond kind of needed to be yelled at, and coming from Curtis, who was his best friend and an alpha werewolf too…

  It was better than rattling around in his own head. At least Curtis would properly growl at him. And he also deserved to know that Raymond was a complete fuck-up.

  Do you have time to talk? Raymond typed back.

  His phone rang a few moments later. “What’s up?” Curtis asked sounding sly. “Do you have a fun update for me?”

  “Try the opposite of fun,” Raymond said dully.

  “Okay,” Curtis said, sounding more at-attention. By now they knew how to read each even without being face to face. “What’s wrong?”

  “I went home with Josh yesterday. Or, well… I took him home after our session, and then we had that flood warning, so he had me spend the night.”

  “Okay,” Curtis said again, more slowly. “What’s wrong with that?”

  “We had sex,” Raymond forced out as quickly as possible.

  There was a pause, and then Curtis said, confused, “and that’s… bad.”

  Raymond dug his fingers into his thigh, eyes squeezing shut. “He was in the middle of his virile period. Not thinking straight. And I just… I got a face full of his scent and lost it and...”

  There was silence on the other end of the line.

  “I didn’t… I wasn’t violent,” Raymond managed. “Not that it makes a difference. He was the one who… who suggested it, but I couldn’t even think about saying no—”

  “So he offered sex and you went for it,” Curtis said carefully.

  “I took advantage of him,” Raymond bit out. “He… he’s never shown an interest before, not even a little, and suddenly during his virile period he changes his mind? I should’ve—I should’ve had better control. I should’ve been able to—fuck—to put him to bed and keep my distance—”

  “Raymond—”

  “I just—I was trying—I was trying to keep my distance, but he’s Josh and he always looks good, he’s always so amazing, but his scent was so much stronger and that’s a fucking excuse for letting myself say yes—”

  “Raymond.”

  “He invited me into his home—he trusted me when he wasn’t thinking straight and I still—”

  “Raymond!”

  Raymond stopped talking, breathing hard.

  “Raymond, all of this sounds like you’re beating yourself up over the fact that he came onto you.”

  Raymond rubbed at his face. “No, you don’t understand. You weren’t there, you didn’t… you didn’t see him. Hear him.”

  “Was he really that out of it?” Curtis asked after some more silence.

  “You’re not asking, I’m offering.”

  “Please, Raymond. Please let me help you?”

  “Come on. Come on, it’s okay.”

  “Maybe not… maybe not at first,” Raymond said quietly. “I think he was more worried about me.”

  “Worried about you how?”

  “He, um, he kept saying I looked sick.”

  “Why would he say that?”

/>   “I was… I was trying to keep myself in check,” Raymond said shifting on the couch. “I’d never really gotten that much of his scent before, it was always so faint, which is probably because he uses blockers, and then the drive over was kind of, um,” he swallowed. “Kind of dizzying.”

  “Wait,” Curtis said. “You’ve known him for a year, you’ve been in love with him for at least half that time, and you’ve never gotten to learn his full scent before?”

  “No.”

  “And then the first time you did, it was during his virile period, and you spent most of that in an enclosed space.”

  “Y-yeah.”

  “Fuck, Raymond, no wonder he thought you were sick. You know those pheromones are serious.”

  “I thought I could handle it,” Raymond whispered. “I thought I was better than this.”

  “Okay, who made the first move?”

  “H-he did.”

  “Did you try to push him to do anything?”

  “No, but—”

  “Did he seem into it? Like, was he responding? Having a good time?”

  “I… yeah.”

  “It sounds like you handled things fine,” Curtis said. “He was in the mood, you were interested, and you guys had a good night. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  Raymond didn’t say anything, remaining deeply unconvinced.

  Curtis sighed, audible through the phone. “Look, it sounds like you were actively resisting until he broached the subject. If he wasn’t out of it… okay, so maybe he figured it was going to be a one-time thing, but in the end, you were both consenting adults here. Unless…”

  “Unless?” Raymond prompted, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  “Raymond, do you think you were under the influence?”

  That wasn’t what Raymond had expected to hear at all. “What?”

  “Do you think his pheromones had something to do with you saying yes?”

  “That’s not how it works,” Raymond said, trying not to growl. There were altogether too many fuckface assholes who tried to play the “pheromones made me do it” card when it came to sexual assault. Raymond knew as well as anyone that it was an excuse and nothing more. Yeah, pheromones could make a unicorn more… more enticing—god, he’d certainly learned that firsthand, but in no way did they make the other person mindless. Anyone would still be able to make conscious decisions on whether or not to act on the attraction. “You know that’s not how it works. It wasn’t his fault.”