The Elements Series Complete Box Set
Page 77
She pulled back from me and locked her stare with mine. Those beautiful, sad blue eyes.
God, how I hated the sadness in her eyes.
God, how I loved the sadness in her stare.
It reminded me that I wasn’t alone.
Did she see my sadness too?
Could she taste the pain against my lips?
“Lie down,” I ordered.
She did as I said.
She slid my boxers off, and I tossed her white tank top to the side of the room. My tongue danced across her nipple, and she gasped. The sound made me pause for a second, but when she wrapped her hands in my hair and lowered my head back to her chest, I knew I needed to taste every part of her. I needed to engulf her existence to help make the pain of life disappear for a while.
Drowning.
We were drowning. Drowning into the sadness, choking from the pain. With every touch we exchanged, the waves crashed over us. I locked my fingers around the edge of her panties, watching them slide down her beautiful thighs. My mouth kissed her stomach, and I listened to her moan once more, looking up to see her staring at me. I could tell she wanted to shut her eyes, but she couldn’t. She had to watch me, study me.
Yes? I wondered in my mind, staring at her blue eyes.
She nodded once. Yes.
My mouth moved lower, and I kissed her left inner thigh. My tongue slowly dragged across her right inner thigh. Then, I positioned myself against her, sliding into her wetness, feeling the tightness of our fears with each thrust, feeling the waters rising above our heads. Our ship rocked against the tidal waves, breaking and breaking as we lost ourselves.
That night I realized a few things about life. Sometimes the rain was more pleasing than the sun. Sometimes the hurt was more fulfilling than the healing. And sometimes the pieces of a puzzle were more beautiful when scattered apart.
We made love in the dark. It was messy, it was rough, it was a side of us that we didn’t know existed. We surrendered ourselves to the darkness that night, losing our way, yet somehow feeling closer to home.
As dawn grew closer, our kisses shifted to something more. With each kiss, each thrust, and each moan the tides began to descend. Maggie’s eyes stayed locked with mine every time I rocked deeper into her. I loved how she felt, I loved how she whispered, I loved how she loved me. I loved how I loved her. We wrapped together as we became each other’s anchors, finding our way back to shore.
When the sunbeams flew through the curtains and the birds began to sing, we kept holding one another and made love in the light.
38
Maggie
Cheryl: Come home if you can? I need your help.
I stared at the text message from my sister as I stood in the bathroom wrapped in a towel after my shower. I was beyond sleepy after an all-nighter with Brooks. Talking about what had happened to me was probably the hardest thing I’d ever had to do—but it was also the best thing I’d done. It felt as if a few of the chains on my soul were released.
“Brooks,” I hollered. “I think we need to go home.”
No reply.
I walked throughout the house, holding my towel close to me, and I couldn’t find him anywhere. When I stepped out on the porch, the sunlight kissed my skin. My eyes darted out to the lake, and not only did I see him—but I heard him. Brooks was sitting out in the middle of the lake, singing. Singing under the sun.
By the time he came back, I had already gotten dressed and packed my bags.
“Everything okay?” he asked me.
“Yeah. Cheryl just said my parents need me there. Do you think you can drive me back?” I grimaced. “I know you might not be ready to go back, but I just need to make sure everyone’s okay.”
“Of course. I’ll go pack my stuff, too.”
“You’re coming back with me?”
“I just got you back, Maggie May Riley, and I’m never going to let you go again,” he said, walking over and wrapping his arms around me. “Plus, I was supposed to return that boat weeks and weeks ago, so I’m pretty sure I owe more money than I want to know.”
I snickered.
We packed up the car, hooked the boat trailer up, and headed back home. The whole trip back, we didn’t listen to the radio. I knew Brooks wasn’t ready to dive into anything dealing with music. Just as he waited for me to find my voice, I’d patiently wait for him to find his own. And he’d find it—I knew he would. Seeing him out on the boat singing was the biggest sign to me. He was slowly but surely finding his way home.
“I think I’ll wait here,” Brooks said, pulling up to our house. “I don’t want to interfere.”
I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. You go help your mom. I’ll be here.”
I nodded and told him I wouldn’t keep him too long. The second I stepped out of the car, Cheryl came rushing out to me.
“Oh my God! What took you so long? I texted you like four hours ago!” she groaned.
I snickered, walking over to my dramatic sister. “It takes four hours to drive from the cabin.”
“I know, but that doesn’t mean—” She paused. Her hands flew to her chest. “I’m sorry. Wait. Back that train up. Did you just…” She crossed her arms, uncrossed them, placed them on her hips, and then crossed them again. “Did you just speak?”
I nodded my head. “Yeah, it’s this new thing I’m trying.”
“Oh my God.” Her hands flew to her mouth. She started crying and slugged me in the shoulder. “Well, I’ll be damned, my sister speaks!” she screamed, taking my hands and spinning me in a circle before pulling me into a hug. “Oh my gosh, Mom’s going to freak out. This is perfect. She needs a lift me up.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“Oh, you know, she’s crying every night and eating ice cream like it’s the only food group known to mankind.”
“She misses him that much?”
“Even more than you think. Plus, Dad is a hot mess, too. For the first time in a long time, you and I aren’t the troubled ones in the family.” She winked before she started tearing up again. “Maggie. You’re talking.”
We stood in the front yard hugging for quite some time before we separated and she glanced over at Brooks. “Hey, stranger, are you the one responsible for making my sister speak up?”
He shouted out of the rolled down window. “Guilty. She kind of got pissed off and exploded.”
Cheryl laughed. “Thanks for pissing off my sister, Brooks.”
“Anytime, Cheryl. Anytime.”
When we walked inside of the house, Mama was sitting on the living room couch, watching television. “Maggie May,” Mama said, surprised. She stood up and walked over to me, pulling me into a hug. Her hair was all over the place, and I swore she had chocolate on her chin. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too, Mama.”
She stumbled backward after hearing my voice. I gave her a small grin. “I know. That seems to be the main reaction today from people.”
“No. What. How? What?” She started hyperventilating. “Oh my gosh, Maggie May.” Her arms flew around me and she wouldn’t let go. “I don’t get it,” she said, flabbergasted. What changed?”
“Time.”
“Oh my gosh.” Her hands were shaking. “We have to tell Eric. We have to call him. He has to come over. Oh my God. He needs to be here for this.” She started pacing the house. “I can’t believe he’s missing this.”
“We should surprise him,” Cheryl suggested. “Like have him over for dinner.” Cheryl winked over at me. She was getting two birds with one stone: Daddy would hear my voice, and our parents would be in the same room together again.
“That’s…” Mama narrowed her eyes. “That’s actually a really good idea! I’ll order Chinese food! Cheryl! You call your dad and tell him to come over because you have big news about something.”
“On it!” Cheryl said, storming off to get her cell phone.
“And, Maggie, tell Brook
s to come inside. He shouldn’t be sitting in his car for that long. Also…” She walked over to me and placed her hands against my cheeks. A weighted sigh left her lips. “You have a beautiful, beautiful voice. You always have, and I’m sorry I went so long without listening to it.” She kissed my forehead before hurrying away to set the table.
When Daddy arrived, he was confused to see Brooks and me there, but pleased. We all sat down to dinner, and Mama was too nervous to look at Daddy, and he hardly glanced over at her. Cheryl did most of the talking, which was something she was good at doing.
“Maggie May, can you pass me the egg rolls?” Daddy asked.
Mama looked up at me and nodded once.
I cleared my throat, picked up the egg rolls, and held them out in his direction. “Here you go, Daddy.”
“Thank you, sweet—” His words faltered. He looked up at me, his eyes locking with mine. Disbelief filled his tone. “No.”
I nodded and knocked on the table twice. “Yes.”
“Oh…oh my…” His hands flew to his chest as tears began to fall. He took off his glasses then covered his mouth with his hands. As his tears fell, more rolled down Mama’s cheeks. Daddy stood up, and I followed his stance. He walked over to me and combed my hair behind my ears. He rested his hands against my cheeks, the same way Mama had. “Say something else.” He laughed nervously. “Anything, really. Say anything, say everything, say the word nothing. Anything. Just say something else.”
I placed my hands against his face, holding his as he held mine, and I whispered the words I’d always wished to say to the first man who ever loved me with his all. “The world keeps spinning because your heartbeats exist.”
My family sat talking late into the night, laughing, crying, and making me say every single word in the dictionary. We Skyped with Calvin, who was in New York for business, and when he saw Brooks smiling, and he saw me speaking, he too began to cry. There were so many moments throughout the night where Mama and Daddy laughed at the same moments and fell apart together, too, yet they didn’t speak to each other. Even though I noticed the trembles in their lips, the stolen glances that they took, the love that still lived in their hearts.
“Well,” Daddy said around one in the morning. “I better get going.”
He stood up, and I glanced over at Mama, silently begging her to say something, but she didn’t speak up. She watched her love walk away again.
“What was that?” I asked her. “You need to go after him!”
“What? No. We are separated. We’re both exactly where we want to be,” Mama said.
“Lies!” Cheryl shouted. “Lies! When was the last time you showered, Mom?”
Mama paused, really thinking about her last shower. “I shower!” she claimed.
“Yeah,” Cheryl huffed. “In Ben and Jerry’s.”
“Your father’s happy, though. He seems happy.”
I gave her a knowing look. Of course he wasn’t happy. Part of his heart still beat inside of her chest. How could anyone be happy with a missing piece of their soul? “You should call him.”
Her eyes watered over, and she gave me a tight smile. “Oh no. No, I couldn’t. I…” Her voice shook, and her hands landed on her hips. “I wouldn’t even know what to say.”
“Do you miss him?”
She started crying, tears free falling down her cheeks. “More than words.”
“Then tell him.”
“I don’t know how. I don’t know what to say, or how to say it.”
I walked over to her and wiped her tears away. “Come on. Brooks will drive us over to Dad’s apartment. I’ll help you find the words to say on the way. You can have shotgun.”
Her body started to tremble, and I wrapped her into a tight hug, holding her close to me. As we approached the foyer, Mama froze. “I can’t.”
“You can. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to walk out of the front door toward the car. When those thoughts of worry and doubt start coming in your mind, you keep walking, okay? Even when you’re scared, you keep going. When the doubts get louder, you run. You run, Mama. You run until you’re back in his arms.”
“Why are you helping me? Maggie May, I’ve been awful to you. All those years I held you back from your life. Why are you being so helpful? So forgiving?”
I bit my bottom lip. “When I was younger a woman always told me that family looks out for each other no matter what, even on the hard days. Especially on the hard days.”
She took a deep breath.
“You’re scared?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “So let’s go.”
Once we made it to the car, and Brooks helped Mama into the passenger seat, she let out a breath of air. “Thanks for driving, Brooks,” Mama said, giving him a tiny smile.
“Anytime.” Brooks smiled and took Mama’s hand into his. “You okay today, Mrs. Riley?”
She squeezed his hand twice.
A quiet, but meaningful reply.
Yes.
As we drove over to Dad’s apartment building, I pulled out my dry-erase board and began writing. When Brooks drove into the parking lot and parked, I hopped out of the car with the board in my hand, and Mama followed.
“Wait, Maggie. You didn’t tell me what I was supposed to say to him.” Her body shook with nerves, panic, worry that somehow the man she loved didn’t love her anymore. “I don’t know what to do.”
I held the board out to her. As she read it, she stopped shaking. A wave of peace ran over her, and she took in a short inhale and released an eased exhale. “Okay,” she said. “Okay.”
She walked up to the front porch, dinged Daddy’s apartment number, and waited for him to come downstairs. I climbed into the passenger seat of the car and shut the door. Brooks bent forward to watch the interaction between my parents. When Daddy opened the door, I could see it—the love that came with no guidelines.
He placed his glasses on top of his head and didn’t say a word. Mama didn’t either. When it came time, she flipped the sign around for him to see, and Dad’s eyes watered over as he pounded his fist against his mouth. Tears fell from his eyes before he pulled Mama into a tight hug. As the board dropped to the ground, they hugged one another tighter and tighter. Their bodies become one. Then, they kissed. Their kiss was messy, and funny, and sad, and whole. So, so whole.
If kisses were able to fix the broken pieces of hearts, I believed my parents’ hearts were slowly falling back together.
“Wow,” Brooks whispered.
Yes, wow. “We can probably leave now,” I said.
As he pulled off, he asked, “What did the board say?”
I glanced once more toward my parents, who were still holding on tight, and swaying back and forth. My lips parted, and I grinned at their love. “Dance with me.”
We drove back to the house to fill Cheryl in on everything that was happening, and I watched her sigh with relief. “Good. Good.” She thanked me for coming to help. Brooks and I headed up to my bedroom, and we lay on my bed, with our feet hanging over the edge.
“They really love each other,” Brooks said, staring at the ceiling. “After everything they’ve been through, they still have that love.”
“Yeah. It’s beautiful.”
“Maggie May?”
“Yes?”
“Do you think we can listen to some music?”
His question was simple, but the meaning was huge. “Yes, of course.”
He stood up and grabbed the pair of earbuds from my desk, then plugged them into his iPhone. “What do you want to hear?” he asked, lying back down.
“Anything, everything.” He put it on shuffle, and we listened to all kinds of sounds.
“I sang today,” he said, as we listened to music going on for an hour. “Out on the lake. I went out there to sing this morning.”
“Oh, yeah?” I asked, sounding surprised.
“Yeah. I mean, I have a lot of work to do, but I think my voice will
be okay. Maybe the band will be okay with me only on vocals.”
“Of course they’ll be okay with that, Brooks. Did you see Calvin’s reaction to seeing you today? All they want is for you to come back. I don’t even mean back to music; I mean come back to them. They’re your best friends. They just want you to be okay. You should call them.”
He nodded. “I will. I’m just worried about the fans, you know? A lot of them are buying into the rumors. They think I’m some deadbeat.”
“Brooks, come on. Anyone who knows you, and really sees you, knows those rumors aren’t true. For every negative comment, there are thousands of positive ones just wishing for you to recover and return to them. Trust me. I’ve been reading the comment sections, too.”
He smiled and kissed me. “Thank you.”
“I’m happy you sang today.”
“Yeah, it was hard without the guitar. I think once I get back with the guys, and they can play for me, I’ll be able to feel my way through it more.”
I sat up and shook my head. “You don’t have to wait. I can do it.” I rushed over to the guitar in my corner and picked it up. “I’ve been playing along with you guys since you taught me to play.”
We played until the morning sun began to rise, and he sang his best, which was always enough. When it became clear that neither one of us could keep our eyes open for much longer, we placed the guitar away and lay in bed. My head was on his chest, and he held me so close.
“I love you,” he whispered, as I started to drift to sleep. “I love you so, so much.”
There was nothing more special than being able to speak those words back to him.
39
Maggie
The next morning Brooks and I drove together to return the boat he rented out. We were playing the guessing game of how much he’d end up owing for keeping it way past the date it was meant to be returned. Our current guesstimate: a-whole-freaking-lot.