by Tara Brown
“Right! Harold! Has he come back yet from his trip?”
“I don’t think so. Did we schedule the tests on the breeding live bots yet?”
“No. We agreed to wait, test the samples out of the body first.” He scowls.
“Of course. Petri babies first.” It makes sense.
“What were we talking about?” He cracks a grin.
“That we’re run-down and needing a break from the responsibilities of this,” I remind him as that part of the conversation slips back into my memory.
“Yes, I do feel that way. It’s odd, we shouldn’t. The bots are there, refreshing us and healing us and repairing us. We should be able to maintain this level of stress at all times with no negative effects, and yet, I’m feeling a bit burned out.” He squeezes me and kisses the side of my head.
“I am too. We should plan to start taking one day off every week. Everyone. That way we can rest.”
“Maybe a day off is important to the parts of us that are still human. I’ll get Lee to come up with a rotating schedule to ensure people get that.” He’s content, I hear it in his voice. Tired, but content. “I can’t believe we have a real harvest. And we’ll make it through the winter comfortably.”
“All because of you.” I squeeze him back.
“Let’s celebrate,” he mutters and pulls me back into the hall for the feast.
Our first harvest feast.
23
The clean drones are clearing away dishes and what’s left of the meal, putting out dessert and cider. Everything has been a massive success.
Grabbing a glass for me and Lee, I stroll to the far side of the room where she is laughing with a man I don’t know. She sees me and waves. He spins and my chest feels like it’s been stabbed by something.
His face causes a glitch in my mind, force-feeding me images I don’t recognize. I gag, stopping dead in my tracks.
His green eyes widen and his brow knits.
I know his face but from where is a mystery.
Something about him makes me uncomfortable beyond what I can cope with here. I need to get out of here.
Putting the drinks down, I turn and walk from the hall, heading for the servants’ stairs at the back. I rush up, overwhelmed and completely lost.
The guy’s face runs through my head, trying to bring up other faces but there’s a mist. A fogginess in my memories. Holes, actually. Large ones. And he lives in those holes in my mind. And I don’t know why.
When I reach my room, I hurry in and close the door, leaning against it.
I take several deep breaths as something begins to flit in, making sense. He’s someone I knew from before, a person I hated. Of course. That’s obvious. The sight of him made me panic.
A knock at the door sends a jolt of fear up my spine.
“Lou?” Lee speaks through the crack. “You all right?”
“I’m not feeling well actually. I’ll come down in a minute. Just freshening up.”
“Okay?” she says, questioning my excuse. “Can I come in?”
I want to say no but decide she might remember him and the details better. She can clear this up for me. “Yeah.” I open the door, jumping back when I see him there. “You can’t be up here!”
Lee’s eyes are wide and weird. She’s panicking. She’s afraid too. “Lou, we have a problem.” She comes closer.
The guy with the green eyes follows her in, closing the door. I back away from them both, my mind is spinning and I’m about to launch my attack, defending myself, when something happens.
His name pops into my mind and it’s not hate I feel when I say it, “Kyle.” His name leaves my lips like a dirty secret.
But he’s not alone in there, in my head behind the wall that’s been built. A wall I didn’t see constructed. Didn’t know existed.
“Joey?” I whisper, terrified of that name too. “Kyle?”
He loses the pained expression on his face and narrows his gaze. “You do know me?”
“I don’t understand.” I turn to Lee who nods her head to the right where the window is.
“Fresh air, Lou.” She slips an arm in mine and directs me to the double doors leading out to the bricked terrace. “You’re going to need it.” She’s using a tone I haven’t heard from her before. Or have I? Is it behind the wall too? What else is there and how did it come to be?
“I want answers, Lee. Why do I know him?”
“Jesus.” The man I’m positive is named Kyle cringes. “What happened?”
“Do it,” Lee says.
Kyle lifts a gun. I’m about to scream when he pulls the trigger, and I’m about to jump out of the way of the bullet, but two prongs leap at me. Something attaches to me and jolts me. A scream leaves my lips as the searing pain takes me to my knees. I fall over completely unable to fight it.
My whole body is on fire. My flesh is being ripped from me and then it just stops.
Like a switch.
I twitch and tremble and struggle to comprehend what is happening.
Kyle drops to his knees next to me, touching me lightly. “Stay calm, we don’t want Liam to know I’m here.” He takes a deep breath. “Joey and the Littles are fine. I swear. They’re fine. Gus too. Leah and Mr. Milson and everyone is totally fine.”
“Oh thank God.” I gasp as answers force their way into the forefront of my mind. I’m escaping a prison created in my head. “Why didn’t I remember you?” I want to cry. I know it’s been over a month since I’ve seen him. And Joey. Or Gus. My family. I abandoned them and I don’t know why I would do that.
“Your bots.” Lee nods at me as she takes a knee on the floor next to Kyle. “They’re against you. Kyle had to zap me too. He did it in the garden before Liam’s speech. Convinced me to go for a drink under the stars.” She rolls her eyes and I start sobbing.
Everything is catching up and it’s overwhelming.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Kyle inches over and lies facing me. He smiles and wipes my tears. “We told the Littles you were on a secret mission to bring down the bad guys.” He smiles and my heart lifts in a way it hasn’t in a month. But it’s not the same as before. He and I are not the same.
I don’t know how to tell him. My mouth moves but no sound comes out.
“I don’t care. Whatever you’re about to say, I don’t care. I know it wasn’t you.” He wipes more tears that are streaming onto the rug. But he’s wrong. It was me.
“Kyle, I’m so sorry.” What else is there?
“Me too.” He nods. “Because you don’t get to leave yet.”
“What?” I sit up, wiping my face. “I need to see my sister and the girls. And Gus. He must miss me.”
“We all do, but we need you to do something else first,” his voice cracks and he glances back at the door. Lee stands and opens it, letting someone come in.
My heart stops for a second time.
My jaw drops.
I’m shaking my head slowly, certain I’m hallucinating.
Her lips tremble and her eyes well as she walks to me slowly. “Lou,” she whispers my name.
“Tan?”
She rushes me and I hold her, wrapping myself around her. Her fingers dig in and the smell of her is so familiar, I find memories I didn’t know existed.
Starry nights spent on the trampoline, sleeping in the fort we made.
Filming ourselves dancing and making videos of us lip-syncing.
Her brother playing video games with me in a blanket igloo while Tanya read.
Her dog, Buster the beagle, Gus’s best friend, barking and chasing us in the snow.
“How?” I ask all of them but my eyes are locked on hers.
“It’s a long story.” She sniffles and wipes her eyes. “And we have a short amount of time.”
“Why?”
“I’m going to say something to you, and it’ll trigger you and memories will flood in.” She nods convincingly. “This is like a secret code word. Okay?”
“Okay?” I scowl, unsure if th
is is some kind of trap. Maybe they’re not real. Maybe I’m in the water cistern again. Jesus, I forgot Liam did that to me.
“Omerta,” she whispers, staring into my eyes.
It’s like being bitten again.
Like being shot with the taser gun again.
Lights flash inside my eyes.
A story begins as the bots organize something akin to opening secret doors in a creepy old house, but it’s my mind where they’ve stored hidden passages.
Dr. Jacquard’s voice speaks from my lips, “Lou, sorry to do this to you, kid. The only way to end this, to correct the mistake we made, is to end the bots. I know you’re attached to them. I understand you like being a super girl. The world is safe and controllable, and all that nonsense Liam says because they’re programming him to. But the reality is the bots are self-serving. They’re evolving and eventually they will be the masters and we will be the slaves. I hope you’re not there already when this message finds you. They are evil, Lou. They’ll change you and warp you and make you whatever they need to in order to survive. You have to let them go. And there’s only one way. One person who can do it. And weirdly enough, she knows you. She’s hiding the secret to this, a coded message I stuck in a bot that I put in you that will only activate if you hear the code word. If you’re hearing this message, she has said the word. I can’t give you the plan, the same way I couldn’t give you the wireless communication or the ability to have everyone absorb bots. Just do as Tanya says, she’s the only person you can trust. The only person the bots can’t change. This is what your dad wanted, Lou. Do it for him.”
I close my mouth, feeling weird like I ate something unknowingly.
“So, that was creepy.” Lee wrinkles her nose.
“Super creepy,” Tanya agrees.
“Why are you the only person the bots can’t manipulate?” I ask, ignoring their comments. “And how did you meet Dr. Jacquard? And why is the memory of you guys meeting not in his bot memories?”
“Because he doesn’t want you to know. Not yet.” She glances up at Kyle. “We have to go. Liam will be looking for her.”
“I’m coming with you.” I stand up and head to the door.
“No, you can’t. We need you and Lee here. We need you to do something for us,” Tanya says.
“What?” I’m not sure I can take much more tonight.
“You need to change up the siren call and run it nonstop from the tower. We need the bots to come here.” Tanya sounds scared. “All of them.”
“All of them? We can’t house that many people here yet. We’re working on it.” I turn to Lee. “We’re about what, eight months away from that?”
Lee nods but it’s Kyle who speaks, “It’s not to house them, Lou.”
“What?” I ask again. “What do you mean?”
“The bots will be destroyed,” he says as his eyes dart to Tanya.
“What about the people?” The idea of killing that many people is disturbing and not just because my bots are actively trying to take over my mind again.
“They’ll be fine.” Tanya comforts my worries with her tone and a soft smile. “No one wants the humans to die.”
Her words bring a memory from the back of my mind. “Tanya, you can’t do this. Dr. Jacquard said this might kill us. There’s a risk we might die.”
“I know.” She winces. “He told me the risks. And I told him I want this over, no matter the cost.”
“Tan—”
“Lou, we all know the risks and we’re working on them. But we need you to focus. This next part is important,” Kyle whispers, stepping close to me, close enough that his smell triggers things, conflicts of emotions I didn't know I have. “You and Lee need to sneak down into the control room. Lee has the new siren call inside her, something Dr. Jacquard took care of before he came to see Tanya that day. Tonight, in the dead of night, do it. In five days they’ll all be here. The call will ensure they show up at the same time. We will be back, we’ll come on the fifth day and help you do this.”
“But I don't know what to do.”
“Me either,” Lee adds.
“That’s okay, Tanya does. Dr. Jacquard was a genius. He knew what he was doing. He even made two plans: One in case we managed to get to Tanya, that night. And one in case we got separated and we would have to wait for a celebration of some sorts to sneak in. He was smart. He played along with Liam so he had time to set this up beautifully. But you and Lee have to stay here and be yourselves. You can’t let on that you’re different or that this is happening. Do you understand?” he asks and I nod, though I doubt he understands what he’s asking me to do.
“You want us to stay here and pretend we’re fine and that Liam being a dulled down bot-controlled psychopath is just cool,” Lee confirms. Her insults toward Liam send a shiver through me. I want to defend him.
“Yes.” Kyle swallows a lump in his throat. His eyes flicker to mine, brimming with despair.
The desire to hug him, let him hold me is there, somewhere deep within me. It’s conflicting and sort of the opposite of who I am. I am not the kind of person who loves two people at once, and yet here I am.
There is a piece of me that loves the person in front of me wholly. But there is another part of me, and I don't know how large that part is, that loves Liam fiercely. The part that scares me though is the love I have for him might entirely be the bots. That will break my heart.
“Just do everything the same as you have done. Change nothing. Apart from sneaking into the control room and changing the siren call. Other than that, do nothing out of character.”
“What if the bots get control of me again?” I ask.
“We’ll electrocute you again. It resets them and they have to start from scratch at manipulating and controlling you.” Tanya smiles bitterly. “We have to go. If he sees us, this is over.” She hugs me once more.
I cling to her, absorbing her scent and feel. “Is Mason okay?”
“He’s fine. Him and Mom and Buster. I’ll see you in five days, and we will catch up on everything.” She squeezes then lets go and walks to the deck, not the door.
Kyle rushes me, wrapping himself around me. His fingers dig in and lips find my forehead. He presses them to my skin, trembling slightly. “Don't forget me again,” he whispers. I make no promises.
He holds me like this for a moment then lets go and rushes out the double doors. He climbs out and stands on the rooftop below with his back to us. Tanya climbs onto his back, looking over her shoulder as he starts the climb down. She waves at me and I can’t believe what I’m seeing. I can’t believe she’s alive and she’s riding Kyle’s back down the roof of the castle where I live in Canada.
What the hell has happened to me?
24
It’s dark and I’m watching him sleep. I pretended to go to bed early and was fake sleeping when he came in. He was sweet. He tucked me in and kissed my forehead, whispering he loved me.
And as much as I want to forget everything and just be with him, I remember how we met.
I remember him locking me in a room and being crazy. He’s manipulative and insane, but I can’t stop staring at his lips. I can’t stop loving him. I don’t want to.
The bots made me love him and I don't want to turn it off. Though I have to get to Joey and the girls. And Gus. They need me. The bots have tried to build the wall in my mind again, but I refuse to forget my sister. My family.
They are evil. I see that now. Dr. Jacquard was right.
I want to tell Liam this. Tell him how they’re manipulating him. But my mind remains fast enough to realize that without the bots Liam is a monster. I tell myself I can help him. I can love him and heal him. We don’t need the bots.
I nearly start to believe it.
When I’m certain he’s in a deep sleep, I slip from the sheets but move my pillow, so it feels like I’m still there. I crouch next to the bed and listen for a change in his heartbeat, even a flicker. But there’s nothing.
His brea
th and pulse are steady and even.
In case he’s awake and this is an act, I stand and leave the room casually. As if this is a midnight snack run or I need a drink.
When I’m in the hall, I hurry. Lee is waiting in her room. I crack open the door and peer in, whispering, “Hey.”
She gets up from the bed and follows.
We rush down the stairs to the basement where the control room is. I stand watch as Lee hurries inside and begins changing something. She’s typing and moving quickly, efficiently.
“Did Dr. Jacquard put his bots in you?” I ask.
“He did. I didn't recall it though. Tanya said some code word and suddenly I remembered everything. I knew what he wanted me to do.” She glances back at me. “I can’t believe this shit.” She’s her old self again. I didn't realize I was missing her until tonight, but I’m glad she’s back. She’s not some bot anymore. And neither am I.
“It’s pretty crazy. When you first joined his team, I thought Liam was controlling you.”
“They’re controlling us all, including Liam. Like evil little monsters. They’re using him to control us, but I don't think he knows it,” she adds distractedly.
“Why is this only happening to the people with Liam? Like how are Kyle and Tanya still so normal?”
“I think Liam is their messenger. Dr. Jacquard thought he was the key to something. He didn't have it worked out when he died, I don't think.” She finishes typing and stands back. “I guess this is it.” Her eyes dart to mine as if she’s checking with me. “You ready for this?”
“No. I don't even know what this is.”
She presses a button and the machine hums quietly. We can’t hear it. The bots inside us don't hear it. The siren is wired underground and set up to only be audible from a mile away. It protects the rest of us from hearing it constantly and going crazy. I wonder if I heard it before, before I arrived at the castle. The journey here is so far in the past, it feels like years. I know it was a month ago but I’m struggling to believe that. One month and everything has changed. Honestly, it shouldn’t surprise me; one year ago, the world was a different place entirely. I was a different girl.
