Jailmates

by Lesli Richardson

  More shocked gasps, from the clerks and the other Pfahrn in line behind me, as they realize who my last two witnesses are.

  Yyallohrn’s progeny.

  But I’m still not done. “I declare myself the victim of fraud at the hands of Dohrn A’djanhrn. This is an honor shadow I wish cleared immediately.”

  The clerks all look at each other…and cue the mad scramble.

  We’re escorted into a large hearing chamber that looks like it seats several hundred in the gallery. The wonk asks me if we need any refreshments or anything while we wait. We brought what we need, though.

  It takes them nearly an hour to assemble my demanded witnesses, the full magistrate, which is eleven, and the Khalden—Yyallohrn. By the time everyone’s there who we need, there is literally standing room only in the gallery. From the tone of the chatter, I can tell they think they’re about to be subjected to what amounts to an amusing circus of stupid human tricks, interesting to watch, but of little consequence in the long run.

  I also counted on this, because by being there they are now all considered official witnesses to this process.

  Meaning no fuckery can happen. It won’t be possible to conceal anything, or for the magistrate to dismiss me out of hand, or for them to ignore valid evidence. If they do, the audience can—and will—demand a rehearing on the basis of fraud perpetrated against me. They can also then demand an immediate removal from office of the magistrates.

  It’s a way to keep things honest all the way around.

  Dohrn and Yyallohrn both look bemused. I stated the bare minimum in my declaration, so I know the two idiots are certain this is me trying to dismiss my contract with Mohrn, or Mohrn’s contract with them. Which they don’t know I know the contents of, only that it’s a confidential contract on file. Also, if I try to do the second part on the basis of any information I received from Mohrn beyond what’s publicly available, that invalidates their contract anyway and penalizes Mohrn.

  Good. Let them think that.

  Once everyone has assembled, they call the hearing to order. Yyallohrn the Khalden opens the session.

  “This is a public dispute called by Simon Quigley, mohr of Mohrn A’djanhrn,” Yyallohrn states. “You have issued a very grave declaration,” he says to me. “Because you are a human and not versed in our ways, it is within my latitude, before handing the meeting over to the general magistrate, to allow you a chance to gracefully withdraw your petition without penalties to yourself by simply offering a public apology.”

  I was expecting this. I step forward, smirking. “I demand a full hearing in front of the magistrate board in its entirety, the gallery witnesses, and claim my right to present all evidence as needed to fulfill my truthful claim, here and now, immediately. I also claim my right to receive immediate adjudication upon presenting my evidence, and immediate satisfaction to compensate me for the fraud perpetuated upon me and the honor shadow cast upon me.”

  I meet their gaze unflinchingly and it is with great personal satisfaction I sense a hint of unease kick in.

  The Khalden is a figurehead at this local level of government, except to break ties. Normally, they are a representative for the regional government, which also meets in this town. The reason they’re here today is because I demanded the full board be present, and because of my witness list. Once Yyallohrn hands this off to the magistrate board, all the dude can do is sit back for the full ride.

  Yyallohrn slowly nods. “Very well then. Are you aware of the penalties that can be assessed on you should this magistrate not find in your favor?”

  “I am.”

  “And are you representing yourself today in this matter?”

  “I am.”

  That earns me a wave of soft chuffs, the Pfahrn equivalent of laughter, which ripple throughout the gallery.

  They think this is going to be a fun show.

  They aren’t wrong, in that respect.

  Yyallohrn sits back. “Magistrate General, I hereby step back to allow these proceedings to begin.”

  The Pfahrn who’s the MG looks at me. “It is also within my latitude to offer one last chance for you to gracefully withdraw.” I resent he’s treating me like a child, but I don’t interrupt. “Without penalty. Publicly apologize, and we will dissolve this assembly. Will you agree?”

  “I do not. I demand, as Simon, Mohrn-mohr, my immediate right to clear the honor shadow cast upon me, upon my mate, and demand the fraud perpetrated be rectified immediately, to my satisfaction.”

  More chuffs, and I can practically feel the gallery lean forward, eager for this to happen.

  I glance back at H’looder. He seems a little nervous and looks around, but the four Guyardien security agents are standing firm around him. I have no concerns for his safety here. The Pfahrn wouldn’t dare disrespect him like that. Plus he’s in a fricking armored mech suit. Even being shorter than them, he could still kick their asses.

  The MG nods. “Then let it be known the claimant, Simon, Mohrn-mohr, has twice refused the generous offer to withdraw. You may proceed.”

  I step into the area in front of the curved dais where the board is sitting. I turn and look around at the full gallery seats and smile to myself. All of these meetings are also televised, and no doubt there were “breaking news” alerts issued.

  Probably something like, Stupid human about to do something incredibly stupid and stupidly challenge our system, bring popcorn!

  Heh.

  “My name is Simon Quigley, legal mate to Mohrn A’djanhrn. I am a signatory to a contract that predates my mate contract to Simon-mohr.” I want to call Mohrn that and enter it in the public record that I willingly claim Mohrn as my mate.

  Might not seem like a big deal to you, but trust me, it is to the Pfahrn.

  “For the record,” I continue, “I do not dispute my mate contract with Mohrn A’djanhrn. My mating with Mohrn is a valid mating, duly recorded and recognized by the laws of Pfahrn. I wish that acknowledged and stated by this magistrate, and my mating recognized and validated before these witnesses.”

  The MG nods. “So noted, stated, validated, and acknowledged by this magistrate body.”

  Step one—check.

  “By rules of magistrate, I wish to confirm the validity of the evidence I shall provide to this magistrate,” I continue. “I demand the magistrate acknowledge the validity of science, and acknowledge the authority and expertise of my witnesses.”

  “Present and introduce your witnesses,” they say.

  “I present first Dr. Mafer H’looder, of Maxim Colonies.” I then list all his qualifications, degrees, and present to the magistrate body’s secretary a Standard coalition ID card for them to broadcast on a screen in the room for everyone to see.

  “He is licensed by the coalition government in the local cluster and is not only a professionally recognized scientist by the government and by industry standards, he is also peer-approved.”

  The magistrate board looks over the information and confers. Finally, the MG speaks. “This magistrate board so acknowledges that the witness presented is an expert and an authority and qualified to testify before this board…”

  I repeat the process with Winston and Shana. I picked them because I wanted two humans to be acknowledged as experts by the magistrate board to help sway the gallery’s opinion to pro-humans, even if the gallery’s opinion wouldn’t officially determine my case for me.

  Optics, yo.

  And because they’d be doing the actual testing for H’looder.

  Next!

  “I demand this magistrate board makes a decree regarding the validity of scientific evidence these three scientists will attest to.”

  The MG nods. “This magistrate will accept as truthful and valid all evidence entered into the record and sworn to by these three witnesses.”

  Step two—check.

  “I call Dohrn A’djanhrn as my first testimony witness.” I hand the secretary a copy of the contract I signed with the MC…a contract that
was already signed by Mohrn and Dohrn.

  Dohrn stands where they are currently seated in the witness area. We go through me demanding an official acknowledgement from the magistrate that Dohrn is who they say they are, yadda-yadda.

  Then we get to the meat of my shock and awe.

  “The contract displayed for all,” I say to Dohrn as I point to the screen. “Is that the contract you admit you signed?”

  Dohrn nods. “I willingly signed that contract.”

  “And in that contract, does it contain a clause for fraud?” I ask.

  “It does so contain a clause for fraud.”

  “And you assert that you entered that contract with me, with Mohrn, and with the Maxim Colonies under your own free will?”

  “I did enter that contract under my own free will.”

  “Why did you enter that contract with myself and Maxim Colonies?”

  The fucker actually smirks. “Mohrn and I entered a contract with the family of Wrohlyyn, who died in a vehicle accident.”

  “And why did you enter that contract with the family of Wrohlyyn?”

  Fucker’s smirk widens. “Because Mohrn accepted responsibility for the accident. It was a compensation contract.”

  “Please state your relation to Mohrn.”

  “Morn is my offspring.”

  It takes everything I have to hold my poker face and not jump up and down. I step in closer. “My apologies, could you please repeat that for me so I might hear it? What, exactly, is your relation to Mohrn?”

  “Mohrn is my offspring.”

  “Thank you. Seated next to you are Stohrn and Allhrn. Who are they to you?”

  “They are also my offspring.”

  “Do you have any other offspring?”

  “No, I do not.”

  I turn to the MG. “I demand a finding that Mohrn, Stohrn, and Allhrn are the declared offspring of Dohrn.”

  This is pretty standard stuff, even though no one else knows that’s my set-up.

  The MG nods. “It is officially declared that Mohrn, Stohrn, and Allhrn are the declared offspring of Dohrn.”

  I turn back to Dohrn. “Also seated with you are Geelahm and Ayyalhm. Are they your offspring?”

  There’s a soft chuffing of amusement from the gallery and from Yyallohrn.

  “No,” Dohrn says. “They are offspring of the Khalden.”

  I turn and look the fucker dead in the eye. “Do you dispute this?”

  Yyallohrn fucking smiles. “No, I do not dispute this. They are my offspring.”

  “Are they your only offspring?”

  He’s a fucking good liar. “They are my only offspring.”

  That’s also officially declared by the MG.

  I turn to Dr. H’looder and motion for him to step forward, and I subtly wave the Guyardiens over to the side. This has been prearranged with them. They know what to do when the time comes.

  I go through a few minutes of what sounds like boring testimony about what Dr. H’looder currently does with studying Pfahrn biology, the MG accepting it all into the record.

  Then I point to the cart that the two techs are flanking. “What is that machine, Dr. H’looder?”

  “It is an XK-2782 Theraprocessor.”

  “And if I ask you to prove to this magistrate, and this assembled gallery, that I am Mohrn’s biological mate, can you do that?”

  “I can.”

  “How?”

  “During the process of mating you and Mohrn, we fused your DNA with Mohrn’s DNA to help ensure the mating would be successful.”

  “And why was this done?” I’ve already coached him for the answer I want.

  “To save Mohrn’s life. You are not Pfahrn, so we needed to make sure your biology reacted appropriately to theirs.”

  “How would you prove this…”

  He goes through the process of explaining the samples taken, and that’s entered into evidence. I get testimony from Dohrn agreeing that, yes, H’looder treated Mohrn and took samples, all of that.

  My next step, tightening the noose. “Does this magistrate agree I have the right to demand evidence that can be immediately surrendered in this testimony?”

  The MG nods. “It does.”

  “I demand that Dohrn, Stohrn, and Allhrn undergo testing right now to prove they are biologically related to each other and Dohrn.”

  Stohrn and Allhrn both shrug.

  Dohrn and Yyallohrn exchange a look.

  A worried look.

  But the three of them sit there while the techs take quick fingersticks from them and run the tests.

  H’looder announces the results. “The three are biologically related, a parent and two offspring.”

  The MG admits the evidence.

  I’m staring Yyallohrn in the face and smirking as I hold out my finger to the techs. “Dr. H’looder, it is your understanding that Mohrn is Dohrn’s offspring, is it not?”

  “It is.”

  “So when the techs run my sample, it should also show that I am, at least partially, related to Dohrn?” The techs take my sample over to the machine.

  “Yes.”

  “Have you ever tested Dohrn, Stohrn, or Allhrn before?”

  “No, there was no reason to.”

  “Have you ever compared their results to Mohrn’s before?”

  “No, there was no reason to do that, either. Dohrn represented Mohrn as being their offspring.”

  I see Yyallohrn’s eyes widen in fear. “And what do those results show, Dr. H’looder? Am I related to Dohrn?”

  He has a flare for the melodramatic in him, thankfully. He looks at the results, then looks at the MG. “There is no possible way Mohrn can be biologically related to Dohrn.”

  * * * *

  The Guyardiens stopped Yyallohrn from running. I didn’t even need to launch into my prepared challenge that was carefully worded to expose what Yyallohrn and Dohrn did to cover up the truth of the accident, because Dohrn cracks immediately and starts babbling, admitting everything about the cover-up, and throwing themselves on the mercy of the magistrate. Tries to say Yyallohrn leveraged their position as Khalden to manipulate Dohrn into agreeing to everything.

  The MG calls in their version of police to restore order, because the gallery is now clamoring for justice.

  Once order is restored, the MG points to me. “Do you have more evidence to present before we make a finding?”

  “Yeah. Actually, I do. I fuck-ton of it.” I point at Dohrn. “That dude has lied to Simon-mohr for their entire life. I declare an honor shadow, and as their mate and as is my right, I demand full forfeiture of assets and estate to Mohrn. That birthrights, holdings, and all other properties, rights, and shares immediately be transferred in full to Mohrn as recompense.”

  They board consults. “So ordered,” the MG declares, earning an upswell of applause from the gallery in agreement. I went from stupid human to horribly wronged party in the blink of an eye. They’re all on my side now.

  But I’m still not done. “Based on the information revealed by Dohrn about the accident, and by the fact that Mohrn never claimed guilt in the accident, I demand Mohrn’s name be cleared, honor be fully restored, and the contract Mohrn signed with Dohrn and Yyallohrn to cover up the events be revoked in full, as well as the contract Mohrn signed with Dohrn and Wrohlyyn’s family be revoked in full. Meaning Mohrn’s prison sentence will be commuted immediately, they will be released immediately, and their record expunged.”

  “So ordered,” the MG says. “Do you have other matters before this magistrate?”

  “I do. I demand compensation for the honor of Mohrn being shadowed by Yyallohrn.”

  “Didn’t they willingly sign that contract?” the MG asks.

  “Not for that contract,” I say. “I can prove that Yyallohrn is Mohrn’s parent, and they and Dohrn worked in concert to lie to Mohrn their entire life.”

  More shocked gasps, and the gallery falls silent.

  The MG looks like I just kicked him in the
nuts. “You can prove that?”

  “I can. I demand the magistrate allows me to have Dr. H’looder sample Yyallohrn.”

  Now Yyallohrn tries to struggle, but the four Guyardiens keep him in place.

  The MG watches this and their face turns dark and somber. “Test Yyallohrn. Now.”

  Five Pfahrn guards also have to step in to help completely pin the Khalden down. A minute later, we have the proof.

  H’looder steps forward. “Mohrn is the biological offspring of Yyallohrn K’lyandi.”

  I produce a copy of the terminated mating contract I found. “I claim a life-long fraud was perpetuated against Mohrn. They were denied the truth of their parentage, under the guise of them being ishblane. It is allowed to pass over ishblane for birthright and inheritance. It is not permitted to lie to them and conceal true parentage. Or to lie to other breeding mates, the way Yyallohrn did, to deny they ever sired ishblane in the first place. Yyallohrn committed fraud in the breeding contracts they signed with the other parents of Geelahm and Ayyalhm, and claimed they never sired ishblane.”

  The MG grimly nods. “State your requested recompense.”

  I turn and look at the gallery, which has fallen silent and now watches me, wide-eyed, every one of them.

  “I make a formal demand to this magistrate for complete restoration of rightful birthright for Mohrn A’djanhrn. I demand full forfeiture of assets and estate to Mohrn, birthright, holdings, and all other properties, rights, and shares, immediately be transferred in full to Mohrn as recompense. I also demand the office of Khalden be immediately issued to Mohrn A’djanhrn, Simon-mohr, as per the laws of Pfahrn relating to holdings and representation.”