A Yonkers Kinda Girl

by Rose O'Callaghan

  The next day Lilly came home from school profoundly discouraged. Her mother was vacuuming and stopped when she saw Lilly drag in.

  “What’s the matter honey?”

  “I’m going to flunk Spanish,” Lilly said.

  “Oh, there’s lots of time until June to catch up.”

  “It doesn’t matter. I couldn’t pass Spanish if I stood on my head.”

  “Why not?” Her mother asked.

  “Because I only had two tests before I left. I got seventy on each. She gave a test today. I got a zero, so my midterm average is forty six. She’ll average the mid-and end-terms together. I’m so lost. I can’t remember what I learned before. Art is hanging by a thread too. This is Regents year for art. I have to submit five projects by May. Everyone is finishing with his or her two. I’ve done one.

  “Math is a different language. I know you told me so, but I didn’t know I had forgotten what I learned in September and October. The test in Spanish today, I didn’t recognize ANY of the words. It’s gone. I don’t even recognize some of my teachers.

  “Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I have three presents, one for Ann, one for Colleen, and one for Tony. I’m afraid to go shopping ’cause I keep thinking some Christmas-spirited individual might knock my pin out rushing to get the last of something. I can’t drop out. Tony would be so disappointed in me. He’s so smart. He was salutatorian when he graduated. If he knows what a dummy I am, he’ll head for the hills.”

  Bridget had remained quiet during the monologue, glad Lillian had opened up, misreading a need to vent as a new need to confide in her mother.

  Bridget said, “Why don’t you take a nap. Things will look better with a little sleep.”

  Lilly didn’t believe sleep was the answer to her problems, but she still needed copious amounts of rest to recover, so she agreed. She woke to find Tony in the living room with her sisters.

  “Lilly are you up to going to visit friends?” He asked gently. She agreed.

  She grumbled about how loose the ace bandages were as he drove. He stopped at his house and led her to his room. He unraveled her bandaged arm and chest. She held back tears, sure all he could see was scars.

  “The trick to these bandages is to get them taut without being too tight and knowing when to change direction.” He spoke to cover her discomfort.

  He walked around her starting to wrap. “Lil, your back is beautiful. I mean you’d never know. There are no marks except the scar where they took your spleen, and that’s really small and low.”

  She shook her head no.

  “Lilly, I’m not kidding. Come here.” He led her to the bathroom and held a shaving mirror to her back to reflect against the mirror over the sink.

  “I have a huge scar, here under my arm. It’s like a seam. I have these ugly scars where he stabbed me and they put in the chest tube. Why couldn’t they have used the same hole? I feel like Frankenstein’s monster.”

  “The stab wound is one and five eighths inches long; they measured it. I don’t know about the chest tube. It’s only … I don’t know less than an inch. They look big only to you.”

  “How about you?” she asked solemnly.

  “Oh, Lil, you are so beautiful to me. You always will be.” He bent down and kissed her nipples and finished wrapping her. He picked her up and carried her back to his room.

  He hadn’t thought of lying on their sides with her affected shoulder up until it worked out that way.

  She said, “I’m glad that’s over.”

  “What?!” He sat up.

  “I mean … I didn’t mean that! I meant I’m glad we are lovers again.”

  “That’s better,” he agreed. “Jesus! I forgot birth control. I didn’t think it would happen … ”

  “It’s all right. I went back on birth control in the hospital. Hillary picked up pills for me. She said I’m too young to be put out to pasture.”

  Tony smiled. “Wait ’til you’re rid of that pin, girl.”

  They went to see the band. Lilly was too tired to last, so they stayed long enough to hear one song and say hello, and then Tony took her home.

  Mrs. O’Dwyer woke Lilly early on Christmas Eve. She had an early appointment at St. Andrews emergency room with Dr. Caper. He gave her a Christmas gift by removing the pin and replacing the bandages with an elaborate sling. She left the hospital on shaky legs.

  Hillary was waiting for her at the O’Dwyers. “Lilly, you’re an honest to goodness two-armed person again. Come on. We have someplace to go.”

  “Where?”

  “It’s a surprise. A Christmas present from me. Come on, we’ll be late,” Hillary said excitedly.

  “Hillary, I didn’t get you anything. I didn’t get anyone anything.”

  “No one expects you to have shopped from your hospital bed.” Hillary drove rapidly. Lilly tried the strength in her left hand.

  “It’s so weak. Dr. Caper told me to buy a rubber ball to make it stronger.”

  Hillary led Lilly to a hair salon. “I’ve made appointment for you to have your hair done.”

  Max, the stylist, greeted them and closed the curtain around them. “Hillary, you’re so late. I almost left.” He turned to Lilly, “Hillary has told me your situation. You have only one hand that can do styling. You’ll need an easy style. It’s so blunt and uneven now.”

  “My hair was in a braid, and the braid was cut off,” Lilly said defensively.

  “Oh … my … let’s see.” Max walked around looking critically at her and feeling the texture of her hair. “I think your hair would do well in tight curls. It’s wavy, and it will probably hold a perm well. You’ll only have to wash it and brush it.”

  Hillary took Lilly home to change into a pretty blouse. A pretty, stylish girl replaced the victim who had stared back from the mirror. Lilly asked Hillary to drive her to Tony’s. They made one more stop first for groceries. Tony was in the living room watching a rerun of Bonanza.

  Lilly prepared the chicken and put it in the oven. She called her mother to say she was having dinner at Tony’s. He asked how long until dinner and then led her to the living room. He had the house to himself, as his roommates had gone home for the holidays and semester break.

  They made love slowly. The climax of their lovemaking coincided with the big shoot-out scene on the television. They called each other “Hoss” and “Little Joe” all night.

  Ann and Colleen were futzing with the presents under the tree when Lilly arrived home. They were drinking eggnog and getting giddy. Their mother was still at midnight Mass.

  Lilly sat in a chair and watched them, realizing how much she had missed their antics when they were at school. Their mother returned home and refused pleas to open “just one.”

  Ann said, “I knew we couldn’t, but I felt obliged to ask. Really Mom, your Christmas Eve wouldn’t be complete unless you had to wrangle with us.”

  The sisters went up to Lilly’s room where they had been sleeping since the first night she was home. Her new hairdo impressed them.

  “I’ll bet that made Tony sit up and take notice,” Ann said.

  Colleen asked, “How are things between you two? I mean, even Mike said Tony didn’t like guys even looking at you. Did this whole thing freak him out?”

  Lilly laughed. “Colleen you’re thinking in clichés. Tony’s not a Latin lover. He’s my lover.”

  Ann and Colleen looked at each other, and then Ann whispered, “You mean you two are doing IT again?”

  “Sure, I’m on the pill. A cop told me rape was a crime of violence, not sex, and it’s true,” Lilly answered in a blasé voice, relishing her sisters’ shock.

  Colleen pulled out a joint, throwing the shock back to Lilly. “Do you think Mike will call while we’re home?”

  “With men, who knows?” Lilly surmised.

  ************************

  15. December 1970

  Isabel della Robbia was worried about the seriousness of Tony and Lilly’s relationship. Isabel had not fel
t the real affection for Tony that she had for Frank until the day she had thrown Carmela out. In protecting Tony, she had made him her son. She was genuinely concerned about what such a deep involvement could lead to with inexperienced kids. Lilly had never been one of Isabel’s favorite people, but the way she had fought back had softened Isabel’s view. The rape had also stirred memories for Isabel.

  When they were young girls, Isabel’s best friend had been raped. The rapist had slapped her and pulled a knife and then raped the frightened girl. Afterwards, the girl had fled to Isabel’s apartment. Tanta and Isabel had helped her get cleaned up and listened to her cry. That became the biggest secret of Isabel’s young life. She had buried that secret in her heart and hadn’t thought of it in years. All the fear and sorrow she had seen in her friend’s face came back to her when Lilly was attacked. She could see the rage in Tony’s face. One night she had heard him say to Frank, “If only he had a name or face. It’s his facelessness, his anonymity that makes him almost omnipotent.”

  Isabel took all her courage and called Bridget. They arranged to have tea and talk on New Year’s Eve day. Isabel was sure she heard relief in Bridget’s voice. Shortly after noon, Isabel in her best dress walked through the snow and up to the O’Dwyers’. Bridget welcomed her warmly.

  “I’d have been glad to pick you up,” Bridget said, assuring her they were alone.

  They started out by exchanging compliments on their children, but the business at hand quickly became apparent.

  “Tony doesn’t live at home?” Bridget seemed surprised.

  “No. He hasn’t since August. They forgot to tell you?”

  “Lillian’s always there. Where does he live?” Bridget added two and two and hoped to get five.

  The next revelation was about Tony’s arrest. “We were so surprised when Lilly bailed him out. I had hoped he’d learn a lesson by staying overnight in jail,” Isabel said.

  “Arrested! For marijuana! She couldn’t have bailed him out. She never said anything. Her bank account! He was arrested and lives with a bunch of hippies!” She shifted the blame to Tony.

  Isabel said defensively, “She’s in a rock ’n roll band with a bunch of bums. He stood by her through all …of everything.”

  Bridget backed down. “Yes, of course. We’ll have to do something though … ” The doorbell interrupted her.

  A man in his mid-thirties, wearing work clothes and carrying a toolbox, was at the door.

  “City of Yonkers, Ma’am. We have to shut off your water for a couple of hours while we work.”

  “On a holiday?” Bridget asked.

  “It’s not a holiday for us until six p.m.,” he said.

  “All right. Thank you for telling me.” She started to shut the door.

  “You don’t understand, Ma’am. I have to close the valve in your basement.”

  “All right.” She led him to the basement stairs and turned to see a gun in her face.

  “Into the living room,” he directed. He handed her the rope. “Tie her up.” He motioned to Isabel. “Feet too. Tight. Now sit.” He tied Bridget and put thick adhesive tape over both women’s mouths.

  He ran upstairs and returned minutes later, pacing nervously. It was then the women realized he wasn’t there to rob the house. Bridget saw a fresh scar down his face and knew who he was.

  “Where is she? It took a month to find her. She was dead. The others stayed dead. She’ll stay dead this time.” He paced, then unloaded his toolbox. He laid two knives on the television and a length of chain on the floor. He left the living room.

  “Where is she?” He shook Bridget as though he didn’t know her mouth was taped. Bridget was grateful none of her children was home.

  The first to arrive was Ann. “Hi, Mom. It’s just me. I forgot my dorm pictures. Katie wants to see them.” She started to run up the stairs.

  He pulled her off the stairs and into the living room. “Sit.”

  She looked around and then obeyed. He kept talking, building to a full-blown rant. Isabel prayed the neighbors would hear and call the police. Bridget prayed no more of her children would come home. Ann was too scared to pray.

  Tony, Hillary, and the band met regularly at Randy, Bill, and Sam’s apartment. Lilly had spent hours each day doing piano exercises to build hand coordination, then slathering on Ben-Gay to ease the spasms. She wore the sling even when she took her arm out of it because the sling provided support for her shoulder. She hadn’t yet played with the band and was full of trepidation on this day when she was to make her first attempt at rejoining the group.

  They tried a couple of songs they had been working on before the attack. They needed Bill’s Dobro. The Dobro was at Tony’s, and Lilly had to pick up the songs from her house so they left together in Tony’s car. Hillary came along to check out the clothes Lilly had received for Christmas. Tony dropped them off at the O’Dwyers’ and warned them to be ready to leave with the lyrics fast.

  “It shouldn’t take more than ten minutes, fifteen tops, to get the Dobro and get back,” he said.

  The girls ran inside and kicked off their boots. Lilly pointed Hillary to the phone and ran upstairs calling, “Ask Randy if he wants me to bring what we’ve got on Starlight or not. I’ll get the clothes out.”

  Hillary, with her back to the living room, telephoned. “Bill? Hey are you guys going to work on Starlight? Ask Randy …Randy and Tony were working on it before …well a couple of months ago …OK, I’ll tell Lil to bring it. See ya.”

  She hung up and turned around and saw a man in work clothes. Some inner instinct told her this was the rapist, and she started for the stairs, screaming a warning. He caught her and punched her full face, then again, and dragged her unconscious body into the living room. Then he started up the stairs with a knife.

  The moments of silence were more terrifying than the screams that followed for Bridget. Lilly came thundering down the stairs. The rapist jumped the railing, blocking her escape. The next few minutes were a cat and mouse chase with him often repeating, “Remember me?”

  Lilly was wearing a granny skirt. He got close enough several times to cut slits in it. Finally, he pinned her against a wall in the living room. He made long sweeps with the blade intentionally missing her face.

  “This time you’ll die for good. I have plans for you. Do you remember my plans.” Lilly fainted, sliding down the wall. His knife caught her forehead as she slid, slicing an inch-long slit at her hairline.

  Hillary moaned a little, starting to come around. “My face …my face …” She sat, disoriented. Her nose was bleeding heavily. The rapist moved to her threateningly and ripped the front of her peasant blouse.

  The sound of the fabric ripping brought Hillary around a little more.

  “No! No!” She started hitting and scratching at him, screaming loudly.

  Lilly opened her eyes and saw him tearing Hillary’s clothing. She also saw the gun on the floor between the living room and the parlor. She scurried for it.

  He saw the movement in his peripheral vision and pulled Hillary in front of himself. Lilly sat on the floor trying to aim at him through tearful eyes.

  “Can you shoot me? You wouldn’t want to shoot your friend.” He moved slowly, menacingly, keeping Hillary in front of him.

  “How good is your aim? You wouldn’t want to shoot your friend.”

  He inched closer.

  She moved the gun wildly, reacting to his every movement. He egged her on.

  “Go ahead. Kill your friend. I’m still going to get you.”

  Lilly couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. Her eyes and nose dripped. She turned the gun on herself and fired, but it only clicked. He grabbed it.

  “That’s good. I have plans for you.” He threw Hillary down and grabbed Lilly by the hair.

  En route to O’Dwyers, Tony and Jay met Mike and Colleen returning from a movie matinee.

  “You’ve got to see this movie …Joe . It was something,” Colleen mimicked the daughter in the mov
ie. “Are you going to shoot me too, Daddy?” Colleen said as she opened the door. “Take off your boots or shoes. All this snow and none of you have boots.”

  She turned and saw Hillary on the floor. “Oh, God.”

  Mike glanced in then pulled Colleen out the front door.

  Jay went to Hillary, not seeing anything else. Tony looked for Lilly. The rapist was holding her by the hair with a knife at her throat.

  “It’s all your fault.” He shook Lilly and yelled, “You were dead! I know you were dead!” He paced in the living room. “I can leave that one, but flower girl comes with me.” Then he said directly to Jay, who was holding Hillary, “I said you can have her, but his one is mine.”

  Nick della Robbia and another policeman silently entered the front door. Nick drew his gun and positioned himself while the other detective tried to find his own position.

  Tony could see that the stand-off could not last much longer, and he feared that the rapist would see the futility and slice Lilly’s throat.

  Tony asked, “Why Lilly?”

  “She cheated. I know she was dead.” He relaxed his hold a little and Tony could see Lilly’s eyes were open.

  She reached for a Waterford vase that was on the television behind them, but missed.

  Tony said quickly, “Maybe she lived for a reason. Maybe you picked the wrong one.”

  “She’s the one. I heard her name. Lilly! They are all flower girls.” He moved back, closer to the TV.

  Tony saw Lilly’s hand reaching back, searching again.

  He said, “Her full name is Lillian.”

  “Don’t you talk anymore,” the rapist yelled. Lilly made contact with the vase but instead of grasping it knocked it over. The rapist spun around, and Lilly pushed his arm and dove away. He reached for the gun on the floor. Both detectives fired, hitting him. He flailed back smashing the TV.

  Colleen and Mike ran back inside. Mike and the detectives cut the ropes on the captives, and Jay asked Colleen to get a shirt for Hillary. Nick called an ambulance.

  Bridget stood and called, “Lillian?”

  Nick looked over his shoulder and noticed that Tony and Lilly were gone, but they had only fled to the farthest part of the porch. Lilly held a swath of her skirt on the cut on her scalp. Tony sat on the railing staring at the wooden floor. Lilly feared the silence between them.