A Yonkers Kinda Girl

by Rose O'Callaghan

  “Aerobics is good for the digestion.”

  “I didn’t mean that literally. It was only five months ago I returned from Thailand. Everything changed so fast.” Lilly waved a hand, dismissing the conversation, and stared out the window.

  Isabel touched her knee and whispered, “He’ll be home soon.”

  Lilly smiled at her.

  Tito and Frank argued about how to best get to Tony’s.

  Frank said, “You’ve never been there.”

  Tito countered, “I lived there before you were born.”

  Lilly sighed in relief when they pulled up to Tony’s. Frank and Tito got out. Frank unlocked the door and gave Lilly the key while Tito got her knapsack. Lilly followed Frank inside. They stood expectantly looking around the living room. The room seemed strangely purified from humans.

  Tito followed, puffing obviously. “Let’s go,” Tito said to Frank.

  Lilly noticed his flaring nostrils and shortness of breath and felt a desire to make things right with him. “I’ll probably be cleaning for a couple of days, but I’d like to have you and Isabel to dinner soon.”

  Tito didn’t acknowledge her but said to Frank, “Let’s go Frank.”

  Frank said, “Pops, I promised Tony I’d help her get settled.”

  A living room light previously set to a timer turned on.

  Tito pointed, “She got lights. What else she need? You going to feed and burp her?”

  Tito walked to the front door. Frank shrugged his shoulders and followed.

  Tito stopped at the open door and said, “Five months, huh? You’ve only been back five months?” He stared at her hard.

  “Yes,” Lilly answered the insinuation. She stared at the door after they left. Her belief that this rift could be quickly patched over was shaken.

  *************

  Lilly sat on the X-ray table, staring at the Polaroid. She tried not to get tears on it.

  “Can I have it to send to my husband?” she asked.

  “Yes, you may. It’s not official until your obstetrician tells you.”

  “How many grams are they? When are they due?”

  “You are twenty weeks now. That would bring you to January 29.” The radiologist looked more like a grandmother than a physician.

  “Thank you,” Lilly said as she stood and walked to the door and through the maze of corridors to the outside world. She sat in the Vette and tried to absorb the news: twins.

  Lilly had the urge to tell someone and drove to Eileen’s, who was on the porch, almost asleep as the babies played. EO woke as Lilly grunted trying to climb over the gate sealing the porch from the outside world.

  EO teased, “Now I didn’t waddle like that until I was seven months.”

  “You only have one to waddle over. I have twins.”

  “Twins? No wonder you’re so big. Your sisters are twins.”

  “Isn’t it great Eileen? Tony’s going to croak. Look at the picture from the ultrasound.”

  “That’s beautiful. I always wished I had an ultrasound picture, but my doctor’s the original leave-it-alone type.”

  The friends visited. When EO fell asleep, Lilly wrote another page and added the picture to a letter. Lilly left when Everett got home and the LaRoche family began its evening routine. She went to Frank’s to put the letter and a new pair of jeans in the box.

  Frank and Debbie had been squabbling so the atmosphere was strained. Frank was gaining weight, and Lilly thought it was revenge against his reed-thin wife. Frank couldn’t locate the box for a while and gave Lilly the impression that the box was an imposition. She offered to send it herself.

  “Will you be at your parents’ on Sunday?” Lilly thought of her announcement.

  Debbie bitched, “Of course he’ll be there, drinking beer and stuffing his face.”

  Lilly decided to leave quickly, “I’ll see you then. Bye.”

  Debbie said, “Not me.”

  Frank looked embarrassed.

  Lilly brought the box home. She bought new thin socks and heavier socks, underwear, thermal long johns, long-sleeve tee shirts, and a corduroy shirt. She repacked the box with Dr. Spock’s baby and childcare and her letter on top and mailed it.

  She was apprehensive en route to her first solo meeting with her in-laws on Sunday. The afternoon was a fiasco.

  Isabel greeted Lilly with a troubled expression. “How are you, Lilly?”

  “I’m fine, Isabel. I’ve gotten a job at the clinic I worked at in April. It’s only for two or three days a week, but it’s something.”

  Isabel led her to the living room where Tito, Nick, Joe, and Frank were in their places. Nick stood, took a few steps to her, and kissed her cheek.

  “How’s my favorite on-again, off-again niece?”

  Lilly laughed, “On again and fat.”

  Tito glared at his brother.

  Lilly smiled at Tito. “I brought you those anisette drops you like.”

  “Why?”

  “I saw them at the store,” Lilly answered. “Because you’re my husband’s father and I thought …”

  “Your husband’s father!” Tito repeated and stared at her hard. “Like that’s your husband’s baby?”

  Lilly was shocked by the openness of the attack.

  Tito continued, “You’re big for a little bit pregnant. That couldn’t come before what …January? Maybe it will be a little early? Premature?”

  Lilly turned and walked out. She was too shaky to drive. She walked to the park, sat on a bench, and cried. Her composure returned she became aware that many park-goers were staring at her. She feigned a rough smile and walked out of the park and back to the car.

  Nick was leaning on the hood. “Get in. I’ll drive you home.”

  “That’s not necessary,” Lilly replied stubbornly.

  Nick took the keys and unlocked the passenger door and held it for her. He got in and adjusted the seat. “You know what I like about you? You are shorter than me. See, I have to move the seat back. I see you had a good cry. That’s good. Now be ready to listen. When Carmela used Tito, everyone, I mean, everyone knew it but Tito. I didn’t know who the real father was, but I knew it wasn’t my brother. Tito never found out until all those years later. It crushed him. He was humiliated. He felt, wrongly, like an object of ridicule. I think he had visions of his brothers poking each other in the ribs and laughing. When you left Tony, no matter what the reason, you fell to Carmela’s level in Tito’s eyes. You are conveniently playing into the scenario.”

  “This is Tony’s baby and no one else’s,” Lilly said.

  “You mean babies. You’re expecting twins, right?”

  “How did you know? I sent the package so Frank couldn’t have seen the letter.”

  “I don’t know about any letter or package, but I do know twins run in families. I remember seeing your sisters, and I know you are Tony’s wife, not some cunt. Those are his babies.”

  “The detective,” Lilly said. “Thank you. It’s good to know I have an ally.”

  “You do Lilly. And I’ll soften Tito if I can.”

  “I’m not going back there. He hates me. It’s like poison, and it’s not good for my babies.”

  “He’ll come around. He loves Tony too much to throw him away, and he loves babies. You should have seen my brother with Tony and Frank as babies.”

  Lilly smiled in spite of herself.

  “There’s something else I’m concerned about,” Nick said slowly. “Before you left to conquer the Appalachians, Tony spoke to me about something that was bothering him.”

  Lilly considered it. “I need more of a hint.”

  Nick continued, “He felt something was bothering you very deeply. I see people in crises frequently. I had a good idea what happened to you. He asked me for suggestions.”

  “Ohh,” Lilly nodded. “I’m cured, at least as cured as I can be, I think. I still get scared, and some things will always remind me. Tony should realize that to have all these scars outside, I have to ha
ve scars inside too. I think a lot of the unaired feelings were his.”

  “I thought so too,” Nick agreed.

  “I mean, I admit in many ways I am a space case. We helped each other through. Like back then. See, why I could never pull a Carmela on him?”

  Nick nodded, then parked the car and handed her the keys. “I can catch a bus to Grand Central, right?”

  “Sure, but I could give you a ride,” Lilly laughed.

  “No. I’ll come down and visit you.”

  “Sure, come to dinner.”

  “I’ll call, and then drop by. I don’t know about dinner. Call me if you don’t feel well or need anything. Or need a little help. You have my number. My ex-wife Karen had a sister who was pregnant with twins. She lost them. Karen said twins are hard to carry.”

  “I’ll be painting the babies’ room. I could use some help with the ceiling.”

  “OK, when?”

  “I work tomorrow. How about Tuesday evening?”

  “Baseball. Wednesday?”

  “Thanks, Nick.”

  Tuesday afternoon Issy showed up with a present for the baby.

  Lilly unwrapped the booties. “I’ll need another pair, unless they take turns having warm feet.”

  Issy asked, “Twins?”

  “Yup. I have to quit telling people though. I’d hate to have Tony be the last to know.”

  “Can I tell Carly and Jane? I’m calling Jane tomorrow.”

  “I already wrote Jane. You can tell Carly. Just tell her not to tell her patients.” Lilly grinned cattily.

  Issy didn’t get it but moved the conversation to her job. They ate supper and then cleaned out the catch room. Nick arrived soon after they started.

  Lilly asked, “The game?”

  Nick explained, “The game is rained out.” Lilly looked out onto the clear night. Nick added, “It’s not a home game.”

  “Come in. We’re clearing out the babies’ room.” Lilly led him in.

  “We’re?” Nick repeated.

  “My old roommate, Issy,” Lilly answered. They met at the top of the stairs. “Issy, this is Nick della Robbia, my on-again, off-again uncle. Nick, this is Issy Signore, nut and creator of mayhem.”

  Nick nodded acceptance. “As long as you confine mayhem to Manhattan. If it spills over to Yonkers, I’ll feel obligated to arrest you.”

  “You’re a cop?” Issy said with a modicum of paranoia.

  “Yeah, so don’t go lighting any joints,” Lilly said over her shoulder.

  She gathered the maps of the trail onto the desk and lifted the chair. Nick started to take the chair. “I can handle the chair. You two can get the desk.”

  Nick and Issy took turns painting the ceiling. They worked well together. Lilly laid tape around the woodwork and stopped for a break.

  Nick asked, “Do you know where Tony is now?”

  “I haven’t heard from him since Bear Mountain. I think he is in southern Vermont on the Long Trail. I’ll get a map and show you where I think he is …if you’d like.” Lilly added the last, not wanting to force them to be interested.

  “I’d like that,” Nick answered.

  Lilly jumped up before they could change their minds and rushed to the bedroom to fetch the map. The phone rang while she was sifting through the maps.

  Lilly answered the bedroom phone, “Hi?”

  “Hi, Belle.”

  “Tony? Oh Tony, how are you? Where are you?”

  “Killington. Two, Lilly? I picked up the box at Sherburne Post Office today. I couldn’t believe the picture. I’ve stared at it for an hour. How are you?”

  “Fine, really great. I’m working at the clinic a couple of days a week. The babies move like crazy now. Sometimes it’s like they’re dancing. How’s the trail?”

  “Lonely. The first few days I kept listening for your harmonica or singing. Now I’m concentrating on making up time to Maine before it snows on me. Nights are chilly. I need some loving to keep me warm.”

  “Don’t you dare,” Lilly said in a mock threat, and then softer, “I miss you.”

  “I’ll be home in a month. What does the doctor say?”

  “I’m healthy. The babies are developing well, and since it’s been twenty-two months since my last period, they had to guesstimate the date by the ultrasound. So January 29, give or take a couple of weeks. Dr. Feldman retired, so I’m going to the clinic I work at so there are no fees.”

  “You must have gotten pregnant while we were still in New York.”

  “You’ve got that magic touch. Nick and Issy are here. We’re painting the ceiling in the babies’ room.”

  “I hope that works out. I hated sharing. Especially the sofa.”

  The operator interrupted.

  Lilly said, “I love you. Be careful.”

  “I love you, too.” Then the call was over. She hugged the receiver.

  Lilly joined Nick and Issy, who were in the kitchen drinking coffee.

  “That was Tony. He’s at Killington. He’s fine. I sent an ultrasound picture of the babies. He loves it. He said the strangest thing before the operator cut us off. He said he hated sharing a room, especially the sofa. What does that mean?”

  “He means when he was a kid in Manhattan, he and Frank slept on a sofa-bed. There was only one bedroom, and they were in the living room. Where’s the map?”

  “I’ll go get it.” Lilly went back upstairs to the bedroom and retrieved the map and then hung back to absorb the phone call in private. She glanced at the bed, remembering what Tony had said about where the babies were conceived, and smiled.

  The chemistry between Issy and Nick that was undeniable. Issy jumped when Lilly rejoined them. They had been almost touching.

  “I have to go. The last train will be in a while,” Issy said.

  “I’ll give you a ride home,” Nick offered and then added cautiously, “Where do you live?”

  “All the way up in Mount Vernon. I share an apartment with three other girls.”

  “Mount Vernon? That’s on the way. I live in Yonkers.”

  “In the della Robbia complex,” Lilly teased.

  “I was there first,” Nick defended. “I’ve lived there for twenty-three years,” he said, gently testing Issy about their age difference.

  Issy smiled and nodded almost imperceptivity. They drifted to the door, leaving Lilly with a full pot of coffee. She sipped half-coffee, half-milk while studying the maps through Vermont and New Hampshire. She was asleep on the sofa when a midnight caller arrived. She woke immediately and thought of calling TJ, but remembered he was out of town.

  She approached the door fearfully. “Who’s there?”

  “Lilly, it’s Carolyn, dear.”

  Lilly threw open the door, and Carolyn bustled in with authority. “I hope it’s not too late.”

  “No. … Carolyn, what are you doing here? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” Lilly invited her to sit with a sweeping motion.

  “Lilly were you sleeping on this davenport?”

  “Well, yes. The bed is so big, and I’ve been sleeping here because it’s neutral territory.”

  “Is he still away?”

  “Yes, he called tonight from Vermont. He’ll be gone another six weeks. He said a month. Tell me about you. Are you vacationing?”

  “No, I’m going back to Thailand. Things are heating up in Kampuchea. I think the days of Pol Pot are numbered. Vietnam will overrun Kampuchea.”

  “You’ve had enough tourist nursing and are dying to get back into action,” Lilly mused.

  “Precisely! Only I have to get processed. Isn’t that absurd? I will probably be here two weeks.”

  “You’re welcome here. I’m fixing the babies’ room. I’ll move back to the bedroom.” Lilly smiled inwardly, thinking of the phone conversation.

  “That davenport must be comfortable. Did you say babies?”

  “Twins.” Lilly grinned.

  “You do not get into things slowly. What does Daddy say?”

&
nbsp; “I think he is in shock. Happy shock.”

  “There is something I must ask. You must have become pregnant in the car, on the way from the airport.”

  “Carolyn, I didn’t get pregnant for weeks after I got home. I didn’t sleep with him until …oh hours after I bumped into him at the park,” Lilly started defensively and then laughed.

  “Lillian, when I left for Saint Croix, you had not menstruated for months.”

  “How did you know?”

  “We shared a room.”

  “Ian diagnosed me as having premature menopause. I thought I was …”

  “Barren?” Carolyn supplied. “The brilliant mind of Dr. Houlsten strikes again.”

  “I never got my period. We were on the trail, but I thought I was crazy, wishful thinking. I always wanted to have a baby by Tony.”

  “I remember you said that once when we were working in the Cardamon Mountains and we could hear guns.”

  “You said you never wanted children,” Lilly added.

  “Yes, I will be your children’s Aunt Carolyn, who visits every few years.”

  “Between wars? Let me heat coffee. I have a whole pot.”

  “Are you consuming caffeine?” Carolyn said sternly.

  “No, Mommy,” Lilly mocked her. “It’s a coincidence. Folks just left. We were working on the babies’ room.”

  Days passed. Lilly found a stable, day-to-day relationship in Carolyn. Carolyn had an impressive talent for murals. She recreated a page from the atlas, depicting a tropical rain forest on a solid wall in the babies’ room. She worked obsessively and finished all the minutest details in two weeks.

  Lilly was relieved when Carolyn’s project was completed, as her complaints over colors, textures, and difficulties with scale were incessant. One day, Lilly left Carolyn to attend an obstetrical appointment. Carolyn was expecting clearance to leave for Thailand that day.

  Lilly arrived home late and sifted through the mail. She was surprised to hear muttering and clashing from the babies’ room. She found Carolyn on her ladder painting the ceiling midnight blue. The contents of the room were carefully covered. Beside the ladder was an astronomy book opened to the winter sky.

  Lilly bit back the horror of facing another mural. Slowly a giggle grew to full belly laughter. Carolyn saw herself for a flicker of a second and joined the laughter. She climbed down the ladder.