by Stasia Black
“You seem nice,” Jenny said.
“Thank y—”
“Logan doesn’t need nice.” Jenny struggled to lift a hand in the direction of Vanessa’s neck. Toward the ring of bruises from where Lorenzo had strangled her. Vanessa swallowed but didn’t pull back, and eventually Jenny’s arm dropped back to the bed.
“He doesn’t need,” Jenny took another gasping breath, “a victim either.”
What the fuck?
“I’m not a victim.” Vanessa couldn’t help the bite in her response.
“Damsel in distress. Whatever.”
Vanessa crossed her arms over her chest. So this was how it was going to be?
“I was captured by a flesh trader and his crew. One of whom was a cannibal.”
Jenny rolled her eyes. “Shit’s hard these days. Wah.” She took a deep breath. “You think I’m gonna leave Logan with some chick who’s always getting herself in trouble? With that man’s savior complex?”
Ah. So she wasn’t trying to be a bitch.
“Hmm,” Vanessa half-laughed. “Didn’t know I’d ever find anyone who could worry about that man as much as I do.” She looked Jenny straight on, ignoring the slight discomfort it gave her to know Logan had loved those eyes, this woman, for years and years with a single-minded devotion.
“He mourned you for almost a decade,” Vanessa said gently. “He tortured himself over it. Wore his wedding ring until about a month before I met him earlier this year. They called him Ghost. Because he all but stopped living after he lost you. He became a shell of a man.”
Jenny sucked in a breath and for once, it didn’t seem like it was because of her illness. Neither did her watery eyes.
“Fucking tear ducts,” Jenny growled, swiping at her eyes. “No fucking control over them anymore.”
“I won’t say I don’t need Logan’s protection,” Vanessa said. “But I can take care of myself in a fight. I’ve killed men. More than I would have ever cared to. The world out there is fucking scary and it’s getting scarier every day.”
Vanessa leaned in. “But I swear to you I’ll protect Logan as much as I hope he’ll protect me. And it’s not just the two of us. We’re a clan. We’re a family. I’ll protect him from the monsters outside and from his own demons inside. With everything I have in me.”
Jenny nodded, her bottom lip quivering. “He needs a strong woman to keep him in line. He’s stubborn, self-righteous, and prone to…”
“Chronic bouts of moodiness?” Vanessa suggested.
Jenny smiled, then coughed. When the fit was done, she wheezed, “Not to mention he’s gonna get a collapsed spine from carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.”
“That’s why he walks so stooped?” Vanessa joked.
“That man…” Jenny said, shaking her head. She blinked rapidly then reached out and grabbed Vanessa’s wrist with a surprisingly strong grip. “Be good to him. Love him. And,” her voice trembled, “if it’s not too much to ask, don’t let him forget me.”
“I promise,” Vanessa said, reaching out and squeezing Jenny’s other hand.
Out of all the things Vanessa could have expected… She’d never— God, life wasn’t fair. This woman was— Well, it was no wonder Logan loved her.
“I swear it. None of us will ever forget you.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
VANESSA
Jenny lived for another six weeks. The entire clan got to know her and her cavern was never empty. They made sure the end of her life was filled with laughter and love.
Vanessa got closer to Jenny than she ever could have imagined. And every time Logan walked in to find Vanessa reading a book to Jenny, or Jenny telling Vanessa an off-color joke, that weight on his back seemed to ease up just a little bit more.
He was with Jenny the night she died, cradling her to his chest as she wheezed and gasped and breathed her last breath.
He’d cried plenty throughout the six weeks, though he tried not to do so in front of Jenny. She didn’t like it when he did. But at nights in the cavern with Vanessa and the rest of the clan, he let it all out. And Vanessa was the one to hold him.
They didn’t sleep together, out of respect for Jenny. But Vanessa found every excuse possible to touch him. To hold him. To do everything possible to infuse him with her strength so he’d have what he needed to bear up as Jenny grew weaker and weaker.
After that last long night, Logan emerged from the cavern where Jenny slept and said simply that she was gone. He didn’t cry.
His face was… blank.
Vanessa had looked around at Cam, the twins, and Michael, and they’d all looked worried, but Cam had whispered they just needed to give him time. That everyone grieved differently.
Jonas performed a small ceremony in the caverns and then the clan men hurried to take Jenny’s body to bury her outside before the sun came up.
When they came back, Logan’s countenance hadn’t changed. He seemed just, gone. Vanessa didn’t know how else to explain it.
“Logan,” she said, touching his arm when he and the others walked back into the main cavern.
But he just pulled away. “Need to go wash,” was all he said. He walked off without another word and when Vanessa looked to Cam, he didn’t offer any reassurance.
“He just needs time,” Ross said. “He’s barely gotten any sleep the past few days, he’s been staying up with her.”
Vanessa nodded. That made sense.
And after cleaning up, Logan did sleep.
He slept. And slept. And slept.
“Hey man,” Ross said, shaking his shoulder after he’d slept for almost twenty-four hours straight. “You gotta eat something.”
Michael paced along the cavern wall. Nix had found a mid-sized cavern for them. They used their sleeping bags and had found comfortable enough places on the ground to set them up. Still, comfortable enough to be out like a light for a whole day?
Logan just pushed Ross away.
He eventually woke up and ate.
But that was all.
No matter how hard they tried to engage him in conversation, he barely spoke two words, and they were always monosyllables.
Vanessa had known in theory that he used to be called Ghost, but now she finally understood what it meant. It was terrifying to see firsthand.
Vanessa put up with it for exactly one week.
She came back in the cavern after helping with the afternoon meal. The amount of mouths they were trying to feed had recently grown to insane numbers. As big as the caves were, they were almost at capacity.
But she couldn’t even think about all the crap going on with the war, or with Travis or with any of the rest of it.
Her entire focus was zeroed in on the big lump snoring in the corner of their cavern. He was taking another nap. In the middle of the day. Again.
“Enough,” Vanessa whispered.
Then she turned on her heel back the way she’d come. She stomped all around the huge cave system until she’d located all of her clan and dragged them back to their cavern.
“I don’t see the point,” Riordan complained. “He’s not going to do anything other than lay there and stare at the wall like he’s a coma patient.”
“Shut up,” Ross said. “He just needs time—”
“Bullshit,” Vanessa said. “He’s running. He’s running from what he feels. Trying to hide behind this bullshit coping mechanism.”
She shoved the curtain back when she got to the cavern. Logan hadn’t moved. He was still snoring away in the corner.
“Enough,” she shouted.
He stirred slightly, but then settled back in.
Son of a—
She reached over into their pack and grabbed their camping pot and a spoon. And then she started banging them against each other.
“Wake up!” she shouted. “Time to wake up!”
“What the fuck!” Logan yelled, sitting up and looking around.
“So good to see you conscious,” Vanessa s
aid in a peppy voice. “Now, it’s time to fuck.”
Logan’s face blanched and then he grabbed his pillow and turned toward the wall, laying back down and giving them his back.
“Michael,” Vanessa turned to Michael. “You’re up first.”
Vanessa reached down and grabbed the hem of her shirt and then ripped it up and off over her head. Her bra was next.
Michael already had his shorts down by the time her bra hit the floor.
Vanessa grinned and pulled Michael’s silk covered sleeping bag right beside Logan. She lifted her hips and pulled her jeans and underwear off, then her socks.
She hiked her ankles up and held her arms underneath her knees to make sure she wouldn’t touch Michael anywhere else than… well, the most important place.
“God, I’ve missed this,” Michael groaned as he sank down to his knees in between Vanessa’s spread legs.
Since she hadn’t been having sex with Logan and they all shared a cavern, well, no one had been getting any. It just hadn’t felt right.
But now, God, Vanessa couldn’t wait to get Michael’s cock inside her. Michael must have felt the same because he wasn’t wasting any time.
He grabbed his shaft, positioned himself, rubbed his tip up and down Vanessa’s lips several times in a way that made Vanessa’s stomach clench in pleasure, and then he plunged in.
“Oh fuck,” Michael hissed, and Vanessa had to agree.
“You didn’t get her wet enough,” Cam said but Vanessa just shook her head.
“Feels so good,” she gasped, her fingernails digging into the flesh of her knees. She wasn’t as wet as she sometimes got, but she was plenty wet enough. And feeling Michael’s sizable cock stretching her after going so long without, oh God.
“Deeper,” she begged. “Go deeper, Michael. I need to be filled all the way up.”
“Goddammit,” Logan growled from beside them, shoving to his feet and moving like he was going to storm out of the cave.
“Cam, Ross, Riordan, don’t you dare let him leave.”
“On it,” Ross and Riordan said at the same time.
They grabbed Logan on either side and tackled him to the ground. As two of the few people in camp who were bigger than Logan, they were able to hold him down.
“Keep going, Michael,” Vanessa said, clenching her pussy around him and looking up to look into his eyes. It was the only way she could ever touch him and she wanted to make the most of every moment.
“God, your cock feels so amazing fucking me. I love every inch of you.”
Michael sucked in a huge breath, his chest expanding as he pulled out and then thrust back in.
“Oh God, yes. Michael. Yes.”
Those were the magic words, apparently, because Michael just lost his damn mind fucking her then. He rammed in and pulled out and rammed in again. Her pussy squelched with every thrust and she didn’t bother quieting her escalating cries. She wanted Logan to hear every goddamned moment and she didn’t care if everyone in the caverns around them were getting an earful too.
“Oh. Fuck, I—” Michael’s words cut off in a strangled gasp as he thrust in and held. Vanessa felt his cum spurt inside her and it triggered her orgasm that had already been on the edge. She screamed out her release, watching the wrecked pleasure on Michael’s face.
“I love you,” she whispered after the spasms finished shaking her body. She squeezed around his cock again. “I love you, Michael.”
His deep brown eyes went so warm, Vanessa’s belly went liquid all over again. “Love you, too.”
They stayed there for another long moment before he pulled out and gestured over to the others.
Vanessa was satisfied to find Logan staring at her, slack jawed. He averted his face the second she caught him watching.
Stubborn ass of a man.
That was okay. She’d promised Jenny she’d be more stubborn. She wouldn’t let him withdraw into himself or accept him living as only half the man he could be.
She walked over to where the twins held Logan down, swaying her hips sensuously and trailing her hand down from her neck to circle her nipples.
Then she bypassed Logan and walked over to their pack. When she bent over, she made sure to sway her ass in their direction.
When she glanced over her shoulder, all eyes in the room were zeroed in exactly where she meant for them to be.
She chuckled and stood up holding the small plastic bottle.
“What’s that?” Cam asked, breathing hard like he was winded. No doubt he’d seen the small plastic nub of the plug she had buried up her ass. Exactly like she meant for him to. For all of them to.
The twins were the only ones who’d she’d shown it to before. The question was, had Logan seen it, too?
“Cooking oil,” she said with a smile. “I traded for it.”
When she came over and crouched over Logan to undo his jeans, she found his eyes laser focused on her ass.
So he had seen it.
Good.
“Oh, big boy.” Vanessa’s smile grew even wider when she found Logan fully hard as she tugged his jeans down. And was it just her or did he lift up slightly to assist her in getting rid of his pants?
When she grabbed Logan’s shaft and jacked it up and down, rolling her thumb over the small bit of precum that had gathered on the tip, he gave a desperate moan.
His stomach hollowed out when she leaned over, tongue out.
“Do you want me to…” she trailed off, teasing her tongue just an inch away from the crown of his cock.
His whole shaft jumped but she moved back. “Ah ah ah,” she shook her finger at him. “You have to ask.”
His chest heaved up and down. “Goddammit yes, I want it.”
She immediately obliged. She didn’t need him begging. Just willing.
She swirled her tongue all the way around his crown, then popped the entire tip in her mouth, humming around it when he groaned in satisfaction and one of his hands came to her head.
That’s right, baby, she silently encouraged. Take what you want.
But the next second, his hand disappeared.
Fine.
Maybe she’d make him beg after all.
She bobbed off his cock, looked up his body through her lashes and found him watching her.
He looked away the second their gazes connected.
Goddammit, he needed to quit that. She moved her lips back and let her teeth graze down his cock until his eyes jerked back to hers.
That’s right. They were playing by her rules.
She moved down, swallowing him as deep as she could down her throat.
She watched his nostrils flare with lust and swore she felt his cock swelling in her throat. She grinned, well, as much as she could with a throat full of cock, and then came back up, letting go with a wet pop.
She twisted so that her ass faced Logan and then she looked over her shoulder at him. “Pull it out. I want you to fuck me there.”
He swore but it looked like he’d stopped fighting her, at least for the moment. The twins let go of his arms and he reached forward.
He wasn’t gentle as he worked his fingers around the rim of the plug and yanked it out.
“Oh,” Vanessa gasped, her entire body rocking and her sex clenching. Jesus, she needed to be filled. She needed to be filled completely.
But there was time for that later.
First things first.
She reached back to hand Logan the bottle of oil. “Get me ready for you. Stretch me out and get me slick.”
He all but ripped the bottle out of her hands. She heard him pop the top and then he poured liquid down the crack of her ass.
And his fingers. Oh God, his fingers.
With one hand, he grasped her hip roughly, and with the other, he shoved two, maybe three fingers up her anus.
He wasn’t gentle. No, there wasn’t anything gentle about Logan tonight.
His demons needed a playground.
And Vanessa would give them on
e—her body.
He stroked his fingers roughly in and out of her ass and poured more oil until it was dripping down her pussy and to the smooth cavern floor.
Then he shoved two fingers of his other hand up her pussy.
“Logan,” she cried out, bowing her head down to the floor, shoving her ass even further toward him.
His hands were merciless. She didn’t mean to come. Not until he was inside her.
But it was clear he’d turned the tables.
She wasn’t in charge anymore.
So she came with a screech, biting down on her forearm so people in the caverns around them didn’t think someone was being murdered.
But, oh Jesus, she didn’t know she could be brought so high— With just his hands.
Logan wasn’t done, though. Not even close.
Both of his hands grasped her hips, and he turned her to face him. Just in time to see him drizzling oil all down his huge cock.
Vanessa swallowed, panting. This man had her panting for him. God, she was going to be the one begging if he didn’t hurry up.
His eyes burned with intensity as he yanked his shirt off over his head. In seconds, he had her straddling him. There was no Ghost in sight.
She was confused because he had her facing him. Did he want to fuck her pussy first? And then he’d turn her around to take her ass?
But no, he grabbed her hips and pulled her forward until oh!
The tip of his cock nudged at her asshole and he lifted up on an elbow to position himself better.
Vanessa breathed hard. This was what she’d wanted. It was why she’d brought the oil. And she’d had anal before. Logan wasn’t larger than Riordan, so she couldn’t explain the sudden apprehension that took over her. Her ass clenched tight, though, denying Logan entry with her nervousness.
But then both his hands were at her face and his gaze was searching hers.
“Baby. Baby, it’s me. I’m here with you. One hundred percent.” Then he swallowed hard. But he didn’t look away as he whispered his next words. “I love you. I’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to say it. I’m sorry I’ve been such a shit the last week. Shutting down like this. I just—”
“No, Logan,” Vanessa shook her head, then leaned forward to kiss him. “You’re perfect. And I’ll always be here to pull you back if you try to go away like that again.” She pressed her forehead against his. “I promise you that.”
