Saving His Heart

by Jennifer Youngblood

  His grandmother finally jerked her head up and smiled. “Make sure to invite everyone to the wedding. I have a cousin in Nebraska. We should send her the RSVP, too.” She gave them a smile, then heaved herself up and shuffled out of the room, squeaking loudly. “Bridget, Bridget, the police are gone. You can come out.”

  Colton rubbed his neck. His eyes traveled to Amy.

  She was observing him, her head cocked to the side. “So …” She inhaled and let the air out with a whooshing sound. “That was interesting. Does this count as a good visit? Is she usually like this?”

  “Sometimes better, sometimes worse. It depends.” Colton shrugged. He never knew what to expect when he came here to visit Granny. But today had been particularly eventful.

  Amy cleared her throat, her eyes zooming in on the logo on his T-shirt. “Was everything she said gibberish? I mean the wedding was, of course, but …” Her voice trailed off as if finishing the question would be uncomfortable.

  Colton’s stomach shrank to the size of a coin. Oh, the most burning fire of all. It was just as he’d feared. His grandmother’s reminiscence about that specific prom made Amy feel uneasy. He needed to reassure her that he’d never intended to … that he’d never felt attracted to … Should he lie to her? Yes, he had to lie to her.

  That foolish answer he’d given his grandmother was in the past. He had already buried all that. He wouldn’t even have remembered it if it weren’t for Granny’s little trip down memory lane. He studied the way Amy’s long lashes batted, shading that exquisite chocolate hue of her eyes. His chest quivered the same way as it had when he’d seen her sleeping on his sofa.

  Darned memories. He didn’t need these skeleton feelings taking possession of him. Not now, not ever.

  He forced a big exhale, and when he refilled his lungs, he smiled at Amy. “Granny mixes up reality with her own desires. She has always been very fond of you, you know that. She must have misconstrued everything in her head, inserting her wishes into memories of things I said. Don’t worry. I do find you amazing, Amy-cakes. But always as a friend.”

  Amy raised her chin, and when their eyes met, Colton’s heart skipped a beat. There was a glint of something in her eyes that made him regret those last words.

  In a second, however, it dissolved into nothing and Amy grinned. “Ah, great. I was afraid I caused you major trauma for letting you go with Lizzy Callehan to our prom.”

  He stuck his tongue out at her. “Nope, you can quit your guilt trip. Just for the record, I had a good time with Lizzy. Your brother and I, we teamed up to …”

  Amy put up her hands, shaking her head vigorously. “Oh, stop. Stop. I don’t need the juicy details. I’m still a lady, don’t forget.” She made a theatrical gesture of sweeping her hair back like a model in a TV commercial. Her golden locks bounced playfully around her cheeks.

  Colton swallowed. He gave Amy a smirk that he hoped would come across as cocky instead of clumsy. “Fair thing. I won’t.”

  A beep of Colton’s pager interrupted them. Colton grabbed it, frowning. “Darn it, a two-alarm fire in a warehouse.”

  “You need to go?” Amy asked.

  “Yeah, if that’s okay with you. I’m sure they could use an extra hand.”

  “Sure, go. Save some lives. I’ll see you later.” Amy gave him a smile that made Colton’s rib cage a bit tighter.

  “Okay, see you soon, Amy-Cakes,” he answered, and with that, he dashed toward the exit.

  As he sprinted down the marble stairs of the Bright Age Nursing Home, the humming in his chest didn’t want to subside. No, forgetting that Amy was a woman would never be his problem. His grandmother had opened that secret chamber in his soul, and now his main task would be forcing the door closed, keeping his inappropriate feelings hidden—before it was too late.

  6

  Amy took off her hospital badge and stuck it in her pocket. She hated how the thing dangled on her chest, and outside of the building, there was no need for her to wear it. A glance at her watch told her that she had exactly forty minutes to get some fresh air before her break was over.

  She crossed the road to the park. The fresh woodsy scent filling her lungs was a welcome break from the continuous smell of disinfectant. When she reached the pine tree, she looked around. Did she remember correctly where Poppy wanted to meet her? Maybe her friend was running late due to a surgery. Ever since Amy had started her job at the hospital, they’d been trying to coordinate a proper lunch break together, but they hadn’t managed it. Either Amy had to jump in for someone in her department, or Poppy got called in for something urgent in the OR.

  Today, after six vain attempts, they might actually get a chance to talk.

  Amy really needed to vent to Poppy. Even though she was living with her best friend, she had so much to share. Maybe it’s because I’m staying at Colt’s that I feel this pressure bottled up inside me.

  It had been three days since they had visited Colton’s grandmother, but Mrs. Myers’s words still rang in Amy’s ears. Colton had looked like he’d just tasted a spoonful of sauerkraut, a dish he truly hated. For a second there, Amy had let herself believe that maybe his grandmother’s comment was hiding a grain of truth.

  Her stomach churned as she recalled Colton’s reassurance. I do find you amazing, Amy-cakes. But always as a friend.

  She hugged her chest with both arms, reaching her fingers around behind her back. She pinched the flesh on the sides of her shoulder blades till it hurt. The mild pain managed to wake her from the imprudent and senseless reflection.

  There was really no point in dwelling on the significance of their visit to Colton’s grandmother. She was an old lady battling memory loss. Most likely, it was as simple as what Colton had told Amy: Mrs. Myers had infused reality with her own desires, sprinkled with a few real memories.

  “Here you are, Ames!”

  Poppy’s upbeat soprano was like a cool breeze in the hot Sahara. Now Amy would have the chance to unplug her brain and relax a bit. A much-needed break. She turned to Poppy, who was brushing through her dark bob with her fingers.

  “Do I look okay to be out in public? I didn’t get a chance to glance in the mirror before coming outside. I feared that if I stayed a second longer after scrubbing out, Mr. Smarty-pants would give me another lecture on what I did wrong. He might be my senior, but I’m also an attending physician and know my craft.” Poppy furrowed her brows and shook her head as if revisiting every detail of the surgery in her head.

  Amy studied her friend, and a smile curled her lower lip. She had been convinced for a while now that Poppy had feelings for James, her chief surgeon, but she’d never mustered the courage to ask her friend about it. Poppy was hot-tempered and could get offended easily.

  Besides, Amy had just moved home. Quite a few years had gone by, so she might have gotten out of the habit of interpreting her friend’s tone correctly. Amy would wait and pose her questions only after she was sure they weren’t entirely absurd.

  Poppy must have finished closing off whatever open chapter she had in her head about the operation, because her eyes regained focus and she smiled at Amy. “Sorry, hon. We shouldn’t bring work to our coffee time, right?”

  Amy grinned. “I like that proposition. But to make it even better, we should actually get coffee, no?”

  Poppy pointed to their left. “There’s a small stand that’s open on sunny days. If we had more time, I’d go over to Sweet Caroline’s Bakery, as I’m running low on sugar. Those are the best donuts in town. For now, we’ll have to make do with Mel’s Coffee Stand. By the way, do you know who I ran into the other day? Sandra Mckenzie. Remember her?”

  Amy nodded. “Sure. She was in Zach’s class, and as I recall, she was after Colt their whole sophomore year.”

  Poppy snaked her arm around Amy’s elbow. “Every girl was swooning over either Zach or Colt back then.” They strolled toward the coffee stand.

  Yes, Amy could still remember the many small gifts that Colt and her broth
er’s admirers had dropped off at their house. Zach and Colt often competed over who got the cheesiest demonstration of interest or the most invites for the movies. They mostly ended up with equal gains. Even Poppy had dated Zach for a short period.

  “I’m the only one who managed to escape the ZaCo-phobia. Probably because they are my family,” Amy said.

  Poppy snapped her head to Amy. “Well, Colt isn’t. Not really. And if I remember correctly, you did get your share of the phobia about him.”

  Ah, shoot. Amy should have chosen her words more carefully. Poppy loved to go down memory lane, but her love for nostalgia could be detrimental to Amy right now. Amy had been looking forward to chatting with her friend, so she could ease the pressure that had been nagging at her ever since their visit at the Bright Age Nursing Home.

  To stop Poppy short, Amy waved quickly. “Oh, mine was a mild crush, and you know it. I got over it pretty quickly.”

  Poppy squinted, her nose pulling into a calculating grimace. “Well, I know you managed to suppress your feelings for Colt, but whether they truly disappeared or just stayed in your subconscious …”

  Amy halted abruptly. “Oh, please. Don’t psychoanalyze me; you’re a heart surgeon, not a shrink. I’m mourning my breakup with Mark.”

  “While staying at Colt’s house?”

  Amy shrugged. “What does that have to do with anything? Colt’s like my brother. I need a place to crash until I can find my own apartment. I would have asked you, but you already have a roomie, so …”

  “Okay, okay. Fine. You’re just friends with Colt. I’m good with that. But let’s get a move on, because we won’t be able to get a drop of caffeine into our systems at this speed. I need to be back by one sharp.”

  They reached the stand. The elderly man running the stand—his name badge read “Bob”—asked, “What can I get you today?”

  “Two black coffees.” Poppy turned to Amy. “You still drink yours without sugar?”

  “Yep. Some things never change.”

  Bob handed them their cups as they walked to a bench.

  “So have you heard anything from Mark since you came back?” Poppy inquired.

  Was Poppy on a mission to break Amy’s fragile equilibrium? First reminding Amy of her crush on Colton—which she’d thought about way too often over the past few days—and now dredging up her bad breakup?

  As she glanced at Poppy, her frustration dissipated. Poppy was watching her with concern. It was clear that she simply wanted to know how Amy was doing.

  Amy inhaled. “No, we haven’t spoken since I got here. But I’m starting to accept that it’s better this way. Mark always made these offhanded comments about what I could do better or do differently. I just let them go because I thought … I don’t even know what I thought.”

  “Then why the heck did he start dating you in the first place if he didn’t like the way you are?”

  Amy shrugged. “We met at work. Maybe he thought I was different outside of the hospital than I actually was?”

  Poppy frowned. “What were his comments about?”

  “Small things … like how he wasn’t happy with the way I dressed or how I used little to no makeup. He thought if I wore heels more often or used formfitting clothes, it would make me look more the part of a doctor’s girlfriend.”

  “What?” Poppy snorted. “I’m a doctor, and I don’t go around in stilettos in my free time either.”

  Amy gave her a warm smile. It was so sweet of Poppy to act this indignant about Mark’s comment. It was funny too, since back when they'd been in high school, Poppy had also tried to steer Amy into dressing more feminine. “You know what the worst thing Mark ever told me was?”

  “That you should switch your Bollywood class for a lap dance course?”

  Amy giggled. Poppy’s snarky comment managed to ease the pain that her own phrase was about to unleash in her chest. “No, that he never said. But when he decided to end things with me, he told me that our relationship went to pieces because of me.”

  Poppy furrowed her brows. “Because of you? Why blame you? He’s the one who ended it!”

  Amy cocked her head to the side, supporting it with her palm. “He said that people in love are ready to change for one another. So if I wasn’t ready to dress differently or turn into this perfect image of a girlfriend he had in mind, it had to be a sign that I didn’t care enough about him. Therefore, it was my fault that he fell out of love with me.”

  Poppy’s jaw hung loose. “What an absurd idea. He just wanted to make you feel guilty so you wouldn’t be angry with him. Jerk!”

  Amy shrugged. “Maybe. Anyways, Colt says I need to find someone who doesn’t want to mold me into something I’m not. That I don’t need a man who doesn’t appreciate me for who I am.”

  Poppy slammed a hand on her knee so that a few drops of her coffee spilled. “Exactly. Colt is right! We only want men who recognize that we are the most important thing to them. Men who know how to cherish and value us. Not some dumb-head who criticizes your every move or operational maneuver.”

  Amy bit her lip. Poppy was clearly not talking about Mark anymore. Her voice had that particular high-pitched tone that Amy knew all too well, and that could only mean one thing.

  Despite the telltale signs, Amy decided to keep her curiosity at bay. Instead of pointing out how her friend might be falling for her boss, she just nodded. “You’re right. The next time I fall for a guy, you’d better believe it’s gonna be someone who knows me in and out. Besides being attractive, he should also be a friend. Someone who likes me, not some upgraded Barbie doll version of me.”

  “Like Colt,” Poppy murmured as she sipped her coffee.

  Amy jerked back, her eyes darting to Poppy. “Not like Colt.”

  Poppy arched her brows. “But he’s exactly as you said—he knows you inside and out. He’s your best friend and adores the way you are.”

  “I would never date Colt.” Amy breathed out the words in gasps, because somehow her heart was racing, making her pulse slam against her throat.

  “Duh, who said anything about dating Colt? I just said someone like Colt.” Poppy flashed the innocent smile she used to plaster on when a teacher caught her chatting in class.

  “Right,” Amy agreed quickly. If she reacted to Poppy’s obvious provocation, she would just entangle herself in an unwanted argument. Colton had a girlfriend. He was a firefighter. And he was practically family to her. Those three reasons would make it impossible for Amy to ever consider a relationship with him. Not to mention that he wasn’t interested in Amy that way, at all.

  She swallowed to clear her mouth from the bitter taste spreading on her tongue. Her last point was a moot point. Because Amy wasn’t interested in Colton Myers either. Not anymore.

  7

  Colton crawled out from under the engine and straightened up. Everything was in great shape, and he was sure that not even Captain Lockhart could find anything wrong with the vehicle. Colton didn’t want his colleague on the B platoon to have to work on something he could have done. Fred, the engineer on C platoon, was a cool guy, and he had always left the gears impeccable for Colton.

  He adjusted the thin chain on his neck, so that the little key dangling on it would remain hidden under his T-shirt. He’d hate to be teased about wearing it.

  His gesture reminded him that Amy should be arriving any minute. Colton looked at the clock. She said she would drop by after her night shift and bring some of those Death by Chocolate muffins she’d baked in Colton’s kitchen the other day. He’d wanted to devour them all by himself, but Amy claimed they were her intro gifts to Colton’s crew. She wanted to make a good impression on them for her first visit.

  A grin spread over Colton’s face. There was no chance that the guys wouldn’t like Amy. She’d grown up in stations like theirs, so she knew her way around firefighters. She wouldn’t complain about Ian or Rhett referring to her as Colton’s friend—unlike Theresa.

  An uneasy sensation brewed in
his stomach as he remembered the first time his girlfriend had stopped by to see him during his shift. Theresa had made a scene because Colton couldn’t take time off and have lunch with her. Cap even said Theresa was welcome to come, as long as it was on one of the days listed on a paper he gave to Colton. After checking the shift schedule, Colton found that Adam had given him a list of all the days when he would be on vacation.

  Gage was the only one who had defended Theresa—and even then, his excuse was that she must be having PMS.

  Colton pulled the door leading to the living area open and heard Rhett's baritone voice echo down the stairs from the kitchen. “No, not like that, Ian. Wait, I’ll do it.”

  He bolted toward the sound. I don’t wanna miss this. The excited undertone in his colleague’s voice hinted at a prank they were about to pull.

  Just before shift change, the platoon members tended to leave a little gift for their counterparts. The joke would be paid back—sometimes even doubled—once they returned to work. But it helped them take the edge off from the stress at work and the horrific scenes they sometimes had to witness.

  Rhett was standing in front of the sink, trying to pull a rubber band onto a sprayer. Ian peeked over his shoulders to see whether it was tight enough, while Drew stood behind them, shaking his head.

  “A surprise for B platoon? Isn’t it a bit early to set up a prank? Or are you not planning to use the tap yourselves for the next 46 hours?” Colton asked.

  Ian turned and placed his index finger over his lips in a shushing gesture. “Nope. This time it’s for Gage. He’s being such a know-it-all again that we need to remind him to tone down his attitude a notch.”

  Colton grinned. This shift, Gage had already been a serious pain in the butt. He’d even managed to get Captain Adam to raise his voice, which wasn’t Cap's usual habit. Normally, Cap’s mere presence was enough to maintain order.

  “But just to spray him with water? Will that be enough of a cool-off?” Colton inquired.