Colton shrugged. “Because I don’t go around naked in the house? It’s normally hidden under my T-shirts.”
Colton was still wearing that key. Amy had thought he’d lost it a long time ago. She never imagined that he would have kept it, nor that he'd put it on a chain around his neck.
He studied her confused grimace, then added, “I always take it off before I get into water. The thing is old, and it’s starting to corrode. A few of my shirts have copper smudges from it.”
Of course it was old. It had to be at least fifteen … no, maybe even more than twenty years old. “I can’t believe you didn’t just throw the thing away,” Amy mumbled.
Colton’s face grew serious. “Are you kidding me? It’s the most precious gift I’ve ever received.”
The memory of that evening came rushing back. Amy had gone over to Colton’s house to look for Zach, but her brother wasn’t there. Nor was Colton’s grandmother. She’d found Colton alone, crying. It was perhaps the only time she’d seen him shed tears. She'd asked him why he was sad. He'd told her that he missed his family, missed being loved. Amy had nothing to console Colton with. But she had the tiny key from her diary in her pocket, so she'd taken it out and given it to him.
“Remember what you said?” he asked softly.
Her eyes widened. “I remember. I said the key would open any heart you wanted. So that you would never miss being loved.”
“Yes. I never tried its magic, though. I figured someday I might need it badly, so I put it on a chain and kept it with me.”
Amy shook her head. “Colt, I think you can stop wearing it. The man you’ve turned into would have no problem conquering any heart he wants.”
His glance turned somber as he sighed. “I’m not so sure of that.”
The sorrow in his voice was so palpable that it almost hurt Amy. Was he that torn up about Theresa leaving him? Couldn’t he see that she didn’t know what she had? Theresa didn’t appreciate Colton for the man he was: the kind, self-sacrificing, friendly, amazing person. She just saw a hot firefighter.
She’s never truly seen the man as I do. Amy bit her lip. This wasn’t the moment for her to feel sorry about her hopeless devotion to Colton. Her friend was hurting, and she needed to console him. Or at least distract him.
She inched closer to him so that her chest brushed against his arm. His eyes were lost, as if he was admiring the game of light on the water’s bubbling surface. But his lips were hardened into a frown. Amy reached out and stroked his head gently. Her wet fingers dripped tiny drops of water onto his hair.
Colton flinched as his eyes darted to her. Something in his gaze made Amy pause. There was a raw, dark glint she hadn't seen there before. She shouldn’t have tried to console him like that. Wounded animals wanted to be left alone. Perhaps Colton felt the same way. She lowered her hand and backed away slowly.
But it was Colton now who shifted forward. His eyes met Amy’s, and the intensity of his gaze deepened. Was it desire that flashed in his irises?
Before Amy could think any further, Colton’s arm snaked around her waist, hauling her closer to him. He bent forward as his lips approached Amy’s.
She remained motionless, staring into his eyes. She wanted to bend forward, to cup Colton’s face and press her mouth against his, but she wasn’t sure whether she was reading him correctly. Could he actually want to kiss her? Or was he acting out of sadness about being dumped by Theresa?
In a second, Colton’s breath was on her lips, mingling with her own. Please, close the distance, please. The throbbing in her temples was overwhelmingly strong, spreading warmth into the lower part of her belly, so distracting that she had to break eye contact. If she gawked one second more into his dark, bottomless pools, she would launch forward and claim his lips.
But she needed to know if he wanted that too.
As she waited with her eyes closed, the fingers Colton had been pressing against her back softened their pressure and slowly released her. The air that had warmed her cheeks disappeared. Amy’s eyelids sprang open.
Colton sat with his back straight, his glance low. “I’m so sorry, Amy-cakes. I don’t know what came over me. It must be the champagne. I didn’t want to … I shouldn’t have …”
Oh, no. No, no, and no! It was exactly as Amy had feared. He’d never truly wanted to kiss her. It was all a physical reaction, a distraction for him. But he'd caught himself in time.
She swallowed. “It’s okay, Colt. I get it. After a breakup, people look for a distraction, right? I just happened to be too close and a girl.” The bitterness in her voice was crystal clear to her, and surely to Colton as well. She hoped he’d interpret it as her annoyance for almost overstepping a line in their friendship and not her disappointment that he didn’t actually do it.
Colton raised his chin. His voice took on an agonized, hoarse tone. “No, Amy. It’s not like that. I would never—”
Amy lifted her palm into the air, splashing water in all directions. “Not worth explaining it.” She stood, her words tumbling out and colliding over one another. “I think it could be the effect of this warm water. It’s best if we get out.”
She quickly climbed out of the hot tub and grabbed her towel. As she pulled the fabric from the chair, the tiny key dropped to the floor with a jingling noise. She bent to collect it.
By the time she straightened, Colton was standing in front of her. “Amy-cakes, please. Let’s talk about this.” A cloud of vapor emanated from his shoulders as he stood in the chilly late spring evening. He looked like some superhero who'd descended from another planet.
Amy sucked in a breath and handed him the key. She tried to make her voice practical, unaffected, but she couldn’t hide the slight tremor. “Here, take it. And as I said, there’s nothing to talk about. You wanted some womanly affection. You didn’t want to kiss me. I’m just your little sister. You could never see me as something else. I get it.”
Oh, for heaven’s sake, why do I have to sound this resentful? It’s my chance to prove to him that I wasn’t affected emotionally by what happened. She couldn’t help how she sounded. It was already a miracle that she managed to articulate those words without bursting into sobs.
Colton silently took his pendant. He was watching Amy with his head cocked to the side, his mouth slightly open.
Amy stirred. Tears were threatening to well up in her eyes, and she couldn’t have that. So she made an exaggerated shudder. “Brrrr, it’s cold now without the water. I think I’ll just go to my room, dry off, and hop into bed. See you for breakfast, okay?”
She got two steps away before she turned and blurted, “Clear nail polish.”
“Huh?”
Her mind ran faster than her mouth as she stuttered to get it all out. “For the key. Put a couple of coats on it, and it won’t ruin your shirts.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks,” he mumbled.
Everything in her wanted to run to him, throw her arms around him, tell him she no longer cared about her rule or even that they were best friends. She wanted Colton, the man. Every inch of her craved being near him. Those seconds when his lips had almost taken hers had been torture and heaven, all rolled into one.
“Amy,” he uttered, his eyes searching hers. “I’m sorry.”
Nodding, she turned and bolted to the room. Her wet feet almost slipped on the expensive parquet that had to be polished after each guest’s stay. Otherwise, why would it feel like a frigging skating rink?
When she got to her bedroom, she closed the door and pressed herself against it. Her heart was slamming in her throat, and large wet drops were already flowing down on her cheeks.
Her body was pulsing with longing and her soul was shattered by the realization that she and Colton would never be together. She had known this—oh, how she had known this—but she'd still let herself hope. It was clear from the striking pain in her chest that she had kept a tiny hopeful corner in her mind, a crazy little spot where she still believed that things might just work out for
her and Colton.
But they won’t. Tonight was the proof that they would never be more than just friends.
Amy just had to accept it. She wasn’t sure, however, if she could.
15
Colton stepped down from the treadmill and wiped his forehead. After waking up from a fitful night's sleep, Colton had decided to visit the hyper-modern gym, hoping that physical exertion would erase some of the embarrassment over the hot tub fiasco from the night before. However, even after an hour of intense workout, the knot in his stomach didn’t ease one bit. His mind was still focused on Amy’s undecipherable expression when she'd handed his key to him.
Her voice had been filled with irritation. Could it be that she’d wanted him to cross the line? And the nail polish bit. One word, and he could’ve had her in his arms.
Or maybe not. He’d chickened out when she'd closed her eyes. Colton thought her reaction meant that she wasn’t sure of what was happening. He couldn’t go through with admitting his feelings to Amy if there was even the slightest chance it would drive her away. He needed Amy in his life, even if they were never anything more than friends.
Colton went to the table, where all sorts of refreshing sport drinks had been prepared. He grabbed a glass with cucumber water and drank it with avid gulps.
Maybe he should just go back to the suite and confess to Amy that he was … what? Confused? No, too much of a coward. In love? No, that would be too strong of a statement. He wasn’t in love. At least, not yet.
He was having some strong, unexplainable feelings for Amy. Maybe even falling for her, and pretty rapidly. Still, he could put a stop to all of it right now if she wanted him to. In the hot tub last night, he’d taken the decision from her, or rather made the decision for both of them. Had he been too hasty?
Perhaps Amy could be open for them to try a relationship, even if Colton was her friend, and a fireman. He stomped his foot, causing the floor to creak loudly. How lucky that, at this early morning hour, he was the only guest who decided to take advantage of the nonstop open hours of the gym.
Amy was his family, together with Zach and Granny. He didn’t have much else in his life, except his work and his buddies at the station. If he lost Amy, he would lose part of himself. It was safer to keep her around as a friend and bathe in her friendship than not have her at all.
Colton rubbed his face with both hands. He’d always chosen the safe path in his personal life and the risky one at work. Perhaps he should change it up for once? If anyone was worth stepping out of his comfort zone, it was Amy.
A resolute expression settled on his face. Yes, the moment has come. He needed to tell Amy that his feelings for her had metamorphosed into something he couldn’t contain anymore. He would go up to the suite and let Amy take a peek at the confused mess that he called his soul and trust that she wouldn’t laugh at him or refuse him.
He put down the glass and went to the door. He walked down the corridor to the elevator, pushed the button, and got inside as if in a trance. He had always considered himself a relatively brave man. He sure wasn’t one to shy away from a rescue mission. He never hesitated to put his life at risk to save a stranger. Why was he so reticent to summon his courage and be honest with one of the people who knew him the best in this world?
The elevator chimed. Colton arrived at the last floor.
Awaiting him was the same butler who'd accompanied him and Amy to their room the night before. The butler offered a curt bow. “Sir, good morning. Did you visit our gym?”
“Uhmm, yes,” Colton murmured. The chipper tone of the butler disturbed his gloomy thoughts. Why was this man still at work? Didn’t they give better shifts in luxury hotels than at his fire station?
Colton hurried to his suite to avoid any other attempts at a chat. He inserted the key card into the lock and pushed the door open. It was still only seven thirty. At home, Amy would be sleeping in when she had a free day.
Amy’s voice made Colton stop at the entrance. He tiptoed his way to her door and leaned in to catch her words. Eavesdropping was a shameful thing to do, but the name that he’d caught just as he stepped in made him dismiss the impropriety.
Amy was speaking with Mark on the phone. Why? Had she called him? Or vice versa?
“Mark, I’m not sure what to say. Did you really think this through?”
What was Mark planning? And why was Amy’s reaction so confused?
A long silence followed, and Colton had to force himself not to glue his ear to the door.
“Okay,” Amy said. “Let’s speak then. Have a safe trip.”
A trip? Was her jerk ex going somewhere? Why did Amy need to know about it?
Colton was trying to wrap his head around what he’d heard when Amy’s bedroom door creaked. He jumped away, putting as much distance as possible between himself and the door.
Amy rocked back when she saw him. “Oh! Are you back already?”
“You knew I left?”
Amy nodded. “I woke early today. I came outside and saw that your room was empty. I figured you went jogging or to do some weightlifting.” She gave Colton’s workout clothes a slow once-over. “Guess I was right.”
Colton couldn’t stop the phrase that sprang to his lips. “You’re always right about me, Amy.”
Amy’s eyes widened, but she chose to ignore his comment. “So, did you let off some steam? You probably needed it, right? After a nasty breakup, it’s always the best thing to do.”
Crap, here she went again with Colton needing to ease up because of Theresa. Couldn’t she see that the only person who locked up his body with tension was standing right in front of him? “Speaking of breakups,” Colton said, taking the opportunity her words offered. “Was that Mark on the phone?”
Amy bit down on her lower lip. “Yes, it was him.” Her face was composed and didn’t reveal what she thought about the guy turning up in her life again.
Colton rubbed his scruff. He would need to shave before he went to the station. “So what’s he up to?” he asked casually after realizing that Amy wasn’t going to comment further on her call.
“He has an interview for a new job.” Amy avoided Colton’s gaze.
“Ah, really? Interesting. And why did he feel the need to let you know about it? You two haven’t talked since you left Portland, right?”
Amy’s eyes drifted to Colton’s jogging shoes, then moved to the door and finally settled on Colton’s face. “He’s interviewing for a position at Jackson Central.”
His throat squeezed. “What?”
Amy inhaled slowly. “Yes. He apparently regrets his decision. He misses me. He wants to move here and asked me to give us a second chance.”
Colton’s head started spinning. No, and heck no! This wasn’t how this entire thing was supposed to go down. He was supposed to come in here, find Amy still sleeping, prepare her breakfast or even order room service, and then … then he would’ve spoken to her once she was awake. He would have told her that he did want to kiss her last night and waited to get her reaction. But he couldn’t do that now. Mark had stolen Colton’s spotlight. It was now Mark’s confession that occupied Amy’s heart. Would Amy give that jerk a second chance?
Colton studied her cheeks glowing in a dark shade of pink and her brows set in her signature I-need-time-to-think-this-through frown. He swallowed. He knew he had to ask the question. It was better to know it straightaway. “What did you tell him?”
“That we’d speak after his interview.”
Colton closed the distance between them in swift strides and grabbed Amy’s shoulders. “You can’t be seriously considering going back to him. He hurt you! He didn’t appreciate you for who you are. Have you forgotten that?”
Amy’s eyes darted to his face as he dropped his hands. “People make mistakes, Colt. Can you give me any reason why I shouldn’t go back to him other than the fact that he hurt me?” Her eyes searched Colton’s.
Time slowed to a snail’s pace. The words were scratchy coming ou
t of his tight throat. “He’s not the man for you.”
Amy’s brows lifted in a challenge. “Really? How can you tell?” Her voice rose. “Do you suddenly have premonitory talents? If so, tell me, Colt. Who is the man for me?”
Me! I am! Colton silenced the desperate scream in his head. It was clear from the way Amy reacted that she was still interested in Mark. “I’m not sure, Amy-cakes.”
Amy pursed her lips, her expression one of stubborn determination. “Well, then I need to take my chances and find out for myself.” She glanced at her watch. “Our stay is only till ten, right? Want to grab some breakfast before we head back home? And even a shower, maybe?” A ghost of a smile touched her lips. “For one of us, anyway.”
Colton needed a second to gather his wits. He smiled. “Okay, I’ll go and get ready. You can dial room service and get us something.”
He dashed to his room and went straight for the bathroom, where he threw off his clothes and stepped into the shower. He turned on the faucet and set it to an almost burning temperature. He stuck his head underneath the jets of water.
For a minute there, the tension between them had been palpable, until Amy had eased back into their usual friendly teasing. It was a welcome and sobering sensation.
Colton was relieved that he hadn’t lost Amy with his stupid behavior yesterday. The way she was acting showed that she’d moved on. She wasn’t thinking about their almost kiss like Colton was. Which meant that she didn’t feel anything deeper than friendship toward Colton. He tightened his jaw and let the realization sink into every cell of his body. Amy would likely go back to Mark, and there was nothing Colton could do about it.
At least he knew he didn’t miss his opportunity with Amy.
No, he’d never even stood a chance with her. There was only one thing he could do to make this situation less awkward for everyone: pretend that last night had never happened.
16
It was almost lunchtime when Amy entered the nurses’ room with Poppy. Luckily, it was empty; otherwise, the presence of Amy’s friend would have earned them a few curious glances. The attending physicians rarely spent time in here, especially if they were from another department.
Saving His Heart Page 11
