Caleb’s Salvation

by Doyle, S

  A second later she opened the door with a smile on her face that made my breath catch.

  Fuck, she was pretty. Not beautiful, not in the way Sarah had been. But pretty, soft. Her pale complexion matched her red hair and the freckles added a level of complexity that made a man want to look at her longer, which meant I had to look away.

  She opened her mouth to say hello, good morning, I wasn’t sure, but I cut her off. I didn’t want the pleasantries.

  “I brought more food. Wait here.”

  I marched to the truck and pulled the cooler out of the back. She was holding the door open so I brushed past her and set the cooler near the sink. I made the trip again with a crate of dry goods.

  “The cooler will keep what you need cold for a few days,” I told her. My eyes strayed to the unmade bed, the kid was tucked into the blankets, sound asleep and making some wheezy baby noise. I needed to get out of there. “Don’t put any food outside the cabin, you’ll attract animals.”

  I started to leave when she caught up and grabbed my arm. “Caleb, I don’t know how to thank you. I know what I said yesterday, but you have to understand, this isn’t…I mean, it’s not easy for me. Asking for things.”

  “You’re not asking. Said it yourself, food was part of the deal.”

  She rocked back on her heels then and a smile played around her mouth.

  “So was a date.”

  I scowled at her and she took a step back. That’s right, I thought. Let her be scared. Let her think I’m a giant, fucking monster.

  “No date. But I’ll be back in a few days.”

  “Okay. See you then,” she said from the doorway as I made my way to the truck. I wasn’t going to look.

  I was not going to look.

  I got inside the truck and I looked. She waved and smiled again, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen someone look so fucking pleased to be in Hope’s Point.

  * * *

  Two weeks later

  Cal

  Her two weeks were up. I had Eli check the date on the round-trip ticket and tomorrow she needed to be on a plane to Nome where she would then get on a plane to Anchorage and from there to wherever the hell she was going.

  I pulled my truck up to the cabin. I had been coming nearly every day for the past two weeks to drop off food and make sure she knew how to keep that fire running.

  There had been no date. No night out at Bud’s no matter how many times she hinted at it. I had no idea what she did to keep herself busy. I suppose the baby took up most of her time. None of it was my concern. Just because she thought I was going to turn out to be some prize she’d won, didn’t mean I had to oblige.

  I didn’t wonder why a twenty-six-year-old with a baby didn’t have a home or a place to go to. I didn’t think about what she meant about her mother being nearly prophetic with her name.

  Vivian, in the movie, had been a prostitute. A down-on-her-luck, couldn’t-pay-the-rent hooker who found her version of prince charming.

  Is that what had happened to this Vivienne? Is that how she found herself pregnant?

  Not my problem, I told myself. For two weeks I’d honored the deal of the contract. Now it was over, and she would be gone. I’d been giving the guys hell about this for two weeks. Eli couldn’t look at me without wincing and apologizing. But once this was over, that would be the end of it. The end of women coming to Hope’s Point. Things would finally get back to normal.

  Well, as normal as things could be now that Shelby was living here. It would be interesting to see how she made it through the winter. That was the test of a true Alaskan.

  I know because I had passed that test for seven years.

  I walked up to the cabin, pleased to see the plume of smoke coming from the chimney. I’d taught her how to make a fire, how to keep it going and, at least in that, she was an adept student.

  I rapped on the door with my usual knock and a second later, she opened it. Today, the baby was on her hip, wrapped up in footie pajamas and holding what looked to be a teething ring. A memory of Emily at that age hit me square in the chest. So hard I almost lost my breath.

  “Morning, Caleb, come on in.”

  She smiled and stepped back but as I looked around the place, there was no sign she’d packed any of her stuff. There was a blanket filled with toys and books on top of her bed. No doubt the floor was too cold—

  Not my problem. Not my concern.

  “Your time’s up,” I announced, shutting the door behind me.

  “What time?” she asked, putting the baby on the bed. I waited to see if he would roll because that could be dangerous, but he seemed content to lay on his belly and work at keeping his head lifted while he still held the teething ring with a death grip.

  “Your two weeks. You need to be packed up tonight. I’ll have Doogie ready to take you to Nome first thing tomorrow morning. From there you’ll get a plane to Anchorage and then wherever your final destination is.”

  Texas? Was she going back to Texas?

  I had to force myself to not ask these questions.

  “But…I’m not leaving.”

  “You can’t stay. The rent was only for two weeks.”

  “I know. I met Eve and Zeke and their little boy. I told Eve my situation and she said the cabin is mine for as long as I need it. Plus, she had a ton of hand-me-down clothes and toys Zeke Jr. is too big for now so that worked out really well.”

  “Situation?”

  “The whole without-a-home thing. Homeless, to be more blunt. God, that’s such an awful word.”

  It was a horrible word. She’d been homeless? With a baby? Where the hell was the father of the child? Her family?

  I shook my head, telling myself I didn’t care. “So what if you have this cabin? You have no means of making money up here. Did you just expect I would feed you indefinitely? That’s pretty ballsy on your part.”

  Of course I would feed her indefinitely, which was why she had to go.

  “No, sir. That would be make me a beggar. I was homeless, but I am not a beggar. I’m a fighter and there’s a difference. I’ve got a couple weeks of food to hold me over and between now and then I plan to find a way to make money.”

  I blinked. “How is that possible? Where did the extra food come from?”

  “I rationed it,” she said, walking over to the area that held the sink and basically served as the kitchen. She pulled out the crate and cooler I’d brought her that first day and showed me all the food she’d managed to save over the past two weeks. Almost like she was proud.

  “What the fuck?” It looked like she’d barely touched any of it.

  Her eyebrow rose. “I would ask that you not use that language in front of my son.”

  “Then you shouldn’t have brought your son to an oil drilling town in Alaska,” I growled.

  She shrugged. “Fair enough.”

  I looked at the crate of food. “You’ve barely eaten any of what I brought.”

  “That’s not quite true. I ate what I needed to not be hungry and make sure I could still provide milk for Sam. Now I have a few weeks of stores to tide me over. I’ve already met Jenny. And she said she’d bring me some elk from her next hunt. Also, Eli and Shelby promised me some fish from their next trip out. I’ve got options so I’m covered for now and you are off the hook.”

  I couldn’t wrap my head around it. She’d been stockpiling food. Planning for the day when I would stop providing it.

  “You ate enough not to be hungry. Were you ever full?”

  She looked at me and I could almost see through her fine, freckle-covered skin to the bones of her cheek. Sharper than they should be. Homeless and hungry.

  “I’m fine. But I’m not going back, and you can’t make me. You’re stuck with me, Caleb.”

  “People around here call me Cal,” I snapped. Even Sarah had called me Cal.

  “Sorry, you were Caleb on your profile so that’s how I think of you. I’ll try to remember.”

  “You c
an’t stay…this isn’t the place for you. It’s too…hard.”

  She laughed in that way she did where there was no humor. It was gut wrenching.

  “Hard? I’ve known hard my whole life. This, living here, making friends with the community here. Being free. This isn’t hard.”

  “What happens if you can’t find a way to make money?” I pressed. “Honest money. What then?”

  She wrapped her arms around her body in a protective gesture, and I felt like an ass for raising the threat of what if. There was a camp of men not an hour away who hadn’t had a woman in an awfully long time. Based on what she’d said before, she had to know there would always be a way for a young, attractive woman to make money in Hope’s Point.

  “I’ve had to face down difficult choices before. I always came out okay. I’m betting I’ll come out okay again. For Sam’s sake, if not for mine.”

  “What if I told you I don’t want you here?”

  Because I didn’t. I didn’t want to look at her or the baby. They touched me, which meant they hurt me. I came to this place to get away from the things that hurt me.

  “I would feel bad about that. Seeing as how I’m hoping most folks, once they get to know me, will like me. But I’m an American and last time I checked this was still America. You can’t make me leave.”

  “You’ll change your mind,” I said. “Winter hits in a few weeks and it starts getting dark, you’ll know this isn’t the place for you and a baby.”

  She shrugged. “Well, we’ll just have to see about that. Also, so you know, technically we never had our date. I want you to know that if you ever want to take me out to Bud’s one night, I would still be open to that idea.”

  “Have you been listening to anything I’ve said?” I asked, incredulously.

  “I’ve been hearing you, sure. But I also know how you’ve been these past two weeks. It’s the way you look at me sometimes. Like you’re almost desperate to take care of me. I’m not going to lie, I would love to have someone to lean on for a time.”

  I laughed harshly. “I can promise you, I have no desire to take care of anybody. Ever again. And what the hell makes you think I’d be attracted to some kid with freckles all over her face. You said you’re twenty-six, you look like you’re sixteen. Not even a woman.”

  “That was mean, Caleb. But I’ve heard way worse. So you’re going to have to get a lot meaner if you think to scare me off. Now, if you don’t mind, it’s time to feed Sam. As unattractive as I am, I’m sure you don’t want to watch.”

  I scowled at her, but she didn’t flinch. I looked at her chest and it was obvious to see the part about her not being a woman was a lie. Her breasts were high and round and full of milk. Her nipples would be engorged.

  I’d never seen anything more erotic than my wife’s breasts when she’d been nursing Emily.

  The pain of that memory helped to focus me. Without another word, I turned my back on her and left.

  I’d lost that battle clearly, but I was intent on winning the war.

  * * *

  Two weeks later

  Vivienne

  “You have to help me.”

  I’d been waiting outside of Bud’s knowing it was a Friday and the guys would probably be playing cards tonight. Eli and Jackson were already inside, which meant Cal wouldn’t be too far behind.

  I was right, as evidenced by him pulling up in his truck. He was just getting out of the cab when I made my demand.

  His left eyebrow rose. Which was typical of his interactions with me. Wary, skeptical. Cautious. Like I was a bomb waiting to go off.

  I bounced Sam in my arms and approached him.

  “Please,” I said, tempering what had been more of a declaration rather than a request.

  “I don’t have to do anything.”

  “I’m running out of wood for the stove and as many times as I’ve tried to swing the axe at the tree I picked out, it’s not coming down.”

  He scowled. Another common reaction to me. The first time, it scared the heck out of me. Now I was used to it.

  “You know what you’re doing? Cutting down a tree?”

  “Uh, no, sir. I know this because the tree is still upright,” I said.

  “Stop calling me sir,” he snapped. “You could hurt yourself swinging an axe. Cut yourself, bring down a tree the wrong way, any number of things. I told you. Life up here is hard.”

  “Why do you think I’m here asking for help? I tried and the axe is too heavy for me to get any leverage on the tree. I need wood.”

  “Hmm. That’s a problem then. You’ve got shelter. You’ve figured out food, but without heat, you won’t make it through the winter. Maybe now you’ll realize your only option is to go home.”

  I stomped my foot in frustration. It was hard enough to swallow my pride and admit I needed help. Once the fantasy of Caleb being my rescuer had ended, I realized I had to start figuring out things on my own. For me and Sam. The more independent I was, the better shot we had of making it up here. Chopping down a tree, however, was out of my reach.

  “What part about me not having a home to go to is not making sense to you?” I asked him, exasperated.

  “Where’s his father?” he asked, pointing at Sam. Caleb never addressed Sam by name.

  “Gone. I told him I was pregnant, and he said he couldn’t handle that. Never saw him again. No forwarding address where I could petition him for child support so don’t bother asking.”

  “What the hell where you doing with someone like that in the first place?”

  “Long story,” I said. Or rather, a pathetically obvious one. I’d been looking for escape. I’d been desperate and stupid.

  When Dave took off, I was desperate and stupid and pregnant.

  I sighed, feeling the weight of my decisions, literally, in my arms. “Look, are you going to help me or what?”

  He remained stubbornly silent.

  “Fine. I’ll ask one of the other guys from the camp.” I wasn’t even sure why I’d started with Caleb. Maybe because I still had the sense we were connected in some way. He was why I was here after all, even if he didn’t want me.

  “No!” he barked.

  “No? No, I can’t have wood? That seems awfully cruel.”

  He scowled again. “I only meant I don’t want you asking any of the men at camp for favors. I’m not saying any of them would expect anything in return, I just don’t want you planting ideas in their head. Up here things that help you survive are considered transactional items.”

  I felt the rush of heat in my cheeks. Shame for him thinking what he did. Although I couldn’t say I blamed him. I had made that crack about my name being prophetic. I’d never gotten that low, probably because sex had been the last thing on my mind after having Sam. But I also knew desperate.

  Once a person reaches desperate, all options are on the table.

  Here, I wasn’t desperate. Not yet anyway. “I wouldn’t do that,” I said softly. “What you’re thinking. I’m not…I wouldn’t do that.”

  “I didn’t mean…anything. Just said I didn’t want you asking for favors. That’s all.”

  “So you’ll help me?”

  “I didn’t say that either,” he grumbled. “I’ll send Eli over tomorrow.”

  I smiled as sweetly as I could. It only made him scowl harder.

  “Thanks Caleb. Sorry…Cal. Hey, you want to invite me inside to get a drink with you?”

  It seemed to take him a second to realize what I was saying. Then he got all flustered.

  “What? No! You can’t take a kid into a bar!”

  I smiled, feeling like I’d pulled one over on him.

  “Hmm, you might not want to mention that to Zeke and Eve. But I understand. Having Sammy around might put a damper on things. Not very romantic. Especially if he acts up. We’ll do it another night when I can get Shelby to watch him. Night, Caleb.”

  I turned then, while I had the upper hand, and left him standing outside of Bud’s with his mouth
open. Teasing him was just about the most fun I’d had in months. With an adult anyway. Sam was always fun.

  “Aren’t you, baby?” I asked, even as I snuggled into his neck, which I knew would make him giggle. “You’re the most fun ever. After you, teasing Caleb comes second. He’s going to make sure we have all the wood we need. I just know he will. We did it again.”

  * * *

  Cal

  I walked into Bud’s still pissed. It was like this was all a game to her. Surviving with a baby in Hope’s Point. Trying to swing an axe she could barely lift. What the hell was she thinking?

  I shouldn’t have made that comment about not asking the other guys at camp for help. I wasn’t trying to insinuate she would sell her body for wood, I just didn’t want it to get in anyone’s head that Vivienne needed favors. Needed food and wood and help to survive.

  Because while some of the guys might not expect sex as payment, they might think a woman who was indebted to them would be more willing to be friendly.

  When Jenny had shown up in town, it hadn’t been an issue because it was evident she was totally self-sufficient and completely closed off from any type of social interaction with the men at camp. As far as I knew, Ark and Bud were the only two she talked to around here.

  Vivienne wasn’t like Jenny. Vivienne screamed vulnerability and softness. She might as well have Help Me on her forehead and Save me on her ass.

  Don’t think about her tight, little ass.

  Which of course I did, which only pissed me off more. I made my way to the bar and saw Eli and Jackson there. The originator of my problem.

  “Cal,” Eli greeted me.

  “I’m not talking to you,” I said, reminding him he was all but dead to me. “You forget that? Bud, I need a drink!”

  “Come on, Cal,” Eli insisted. “Eventually, you have to get over it.”

  Get over it? Get over it? I flipped Eli the bird while Bud handed me my beer. Then I looked at Jackson who was only slightly less to blame for my predicament. He could have stopped Eli or, at the very least, could have warned me. Then I could have put a stop to it before Vivienne even got here.