Before You

by Marni Mann

  I felt his eyes on me as I walked away from the coffee shop, and I heard him say my name as I made it another step. When he voiced it again, I pressed a finger against each of my ears, similarly to how I had blocked the noise on the plane, and I kept moving deeper into Greenwich Village.

  Jared wasn’t the loudest sound I’d ever heard, but his voice caused my chest to ache the worst.

  Seventy-Six

  Jared

  Me: Just say the words, Billie …

  Billie: Soon.

  Seventy-Seven

  Billie

  “This is a boarding call for Flight Twenty-One to Martha’s Vineyard. All first-class and business-class passengers are welcome to board at this time,” the gate agent said as I was seated right next to his desk.

  I glanced down at the oversize bag on my lap that I’d placed there when we first arrived at the gate. In it, I’d packed us Twizzlers and crackers and lots of gum. There were also bottles of essential oils that I was already lathered in. My tablet and laptop and phone were all loaded with more than enough entertainment for us.

  Knowing that was the announcement we’d been waiting for, I went to stand and felt a hand on my leg. It stayed there for just a second, and then it found my fingers and squeezed them so tightly.

  The contact gave me more calmness that I needed.

  I glanced to my left to respond. I couldn’t smile yet. But if it were possible, I would have. Instead, I took a deep breath and let it simmer for several seconds before I said, “I’m okay.”

  “You’re really ready to do this?”

  I looked down at Ally’s hand that was wrapped around mine and then up at her face. “Yes.”

  “I’m so fucking proud of you right now.”

  It was a few weeks shy of the one-year anniversary of the crash.

  It was time.

  And I was ready to get this part of my life back.

  I tightened my grip, my way of responding, before I released her. I then lifted the thick handles of my bag and slung it over my shoulder. Once I took a step, I found my phone and got my e-ticket ready.

  “Good morning,” the gate agent said.

  “Hi.” I placed my phone on the reader and waited until it beeped before I moved to the side, so Ally could do the same.

  As soon as she finished, she linked her hand with mine again, and we entered the jet bridge.

  “Talk to me.”

  I felt her eyes on me and said, “I’m really okay.”

  This wasn’t the first time I’d been to the airport since the crash. Part of my therapy included coming here on several different occasions where I walked down a jet bridge, stepped onto a plane, and sat in one of the rows. The only thing I hadn’t done was get in the air.

  She brought my fingers up to her mouth and kissed my knuckles, making the same sound she used when she was trying to get her daughter to giggle. “How okay are you? Like, selfie-level okay?”

  We were at the beginning of the jet bridge, and I turned to her. My heart was racing but not in a way I couldn’t handle. My hands were fidgety, but I’d found that was my new normal.

  I thought of all the people who would want to see that picture.

  Of the faces that would smile when they saw it.

  “How about this?” I closed my eyes and took in another long inhale, holding it in for just a second. “I’ll do it but only if you send the photo to my dad.”

  I swore, her eyes teared a little when she responded, “Deal.”

  My eyes did the same as I thought of the only person I was going to send the picture to.

  The one whose presence I could feel even though his hand wasn’t holding mine.

  Seventy-Eight

  Jared

  Me: I couldn’t be prouder. Now, go start living, beautiful girl.

  Epilogue

  Jared

  I sat in the back of the small restaurant and faced the front door. I knew Billie’s flight had already arrived, and I was sure she had checked into her hotel. The only thing I couldn’t predict was if she’d dine at her favorite restaurant on the first night she was in Italy, the same way she had done the last time she visited the country. That was why I kept my eyes on the entrance, watching every face that came in.

  I had been sitting here for a few hours when my wrist began to hurt. That was the moment I knew change was coming. I felt it in my heart, in the breeze that wafted in when the door opened. Billie stepped into the intimate space, glancing in both directions.

  It had been fourteen months since the crash, and this was the first time she had gone overseas since she started flying again a little more than two months ago. I didn’t make it a habit of checking her social media. It was too hard, knowing she wasn’t ready to be with me. But when I had seen her post about the trip, I reached out to Ally, wanting to surprise Billie in Venice. After some convincing that I would never hurt her best friend again, Ally had become my main source of information.

  My fucking God, I thought as I gripped the edge of the table.

  I didn’t know how it was possible, but Billie was even more gorgeous than the last time I had held her. There was an elegance in her stature, a body that looked healed and so healthy. The beauty in her face made me stop breathing.

  I didn’t have to stand or raise my hand to get her attention. The place didn’t have more than six tables, so her eyes naturally fell to me. When they did, it took several seconds before she realized who she was looking at.

  Her eyes widened, and her lips parted, brows as high as they could go. “Jared …”

  She was across the room, and I still heard her. I still felt the powerfulness of her voice like she was whispering in my ear.

  I knew she felt it, too, because she didn’t move at first. She stood frozen at the door, taking me in, a mix of every emotion passing over her face, and I watched it all—the thoughts, the deep breaths, the questions. And then she finally released her lip she’d been gnawing on and made her way over to me.

  “Hi,” she said as she approached. “Jared, what are you doing here?”

  I rose to greet her and stepped forward, my hand going to her waist. She leaned into my fingers, and I bent down and kissed her cheek. Her eyes closed as my mouth pressed against her skin. I left my lips there for a second longer than I needed to before I returned to my seat.

  “Would you like to join me for dinner?” I pointed at the chair she was now gripping with both hands.

  With shock still registering on her face, she nodded.

  A waiter came to the table as soon as we sat. I’d told him hours ago I was waiting for a woman, and when he joined us, he was smiling.

  “Red or white?” he asked.

  “Red,” Billie answered.

  “Same,” I replied.

  She lifted the water glass off the table and took a large drink from it. When she set it back down, she kept her hands circled around it. “I’m so surprised you’re here,” she said, staring at me like I was about to disappear. “How did you know? Or even find this place?”

  My cell was in my jacket. I tapped the screen several times, showing her the hand-drawn map. “This made it easy.”

  She continued to look at it. “I always wondered if you had texted yourself that picture from my phone.”

  I couldn’t take all the credit.

  I winked and added, “A little birdie might have helped me as well.”

  Her lips lifted into a smile.

  Jesus, she was as exquisite as ever.

  Content.

  Glowing.

  It wasn’t Italy that made her appear this magnificent. This was what Billie had looked like before the plane crash. And what she had looked like during the moments we had been together, when I was the reason she had smiled.

  The waiter returned with a bottle of unlabeled red that he poured into two small glasses, and then he left us once again.

  I held mine into the air, thinking of the best way to approach this moment. “To a dinner that’s hopefully wor
thy of five noodles.”

  She laughed, but I also saw a glimmer of a tear. It wasn’t from sadness. What I saw in those pretty eyes made the grin on my face grow even larger.

  We clinked glasses, and she took a drink. When she set it down, she leaned her arms on the table. The happiness on her face dimmed, and there was an even heavier dose of emotion in her eyes. She took several inhales, and then she said, “My father’s flying in tomorrow.”

  I’d avoided her father the entire time we were together. And I had crossed the Atlantic without knowing what he thought of me, if he would ever accept me, if Billie would even let me into her life.

  But her father was an obstacle I needed to face, and I came here prepared to do that. I just didn’t realize I would get the chance to do it while I was in Italy.

  “I would like to meet him,” I said.

  Tears leaked past her eyelids, her lips quivering. “You would do that for me? For us?”

  “Billie …” I shook my head. “I would do anything for you.”

  Her mouth opened, and just as she was about to respond, the waiter placed a bowl of bread between our water glasses.

  “Homemade focaccia,” he said, stalling. He looked at Billie as she wiped her eyes. When her hands moved away from her face, all of her emotion was gone, and he said, “Tell me, signorina, what brings you to Venice?”

  She cleared her throat. “I came for a vacation.” She paused, her teeth returning to her lip. “And somehow I ran into this charming man again.”

  “How about you, signore?” the waiter asked.

  I continued to stare into Billie’s fiery green gaze. One I’d been thinking about nonstop since the moment I took a seat next to her on the plane. I hadn’t known then that I would have these feelings or that I would follow her across the world. But as I looked at her, it all made sense, every decision … because each one had brought me here.

  I nodded toward the beautiful girl in front of me. “I came to tell this one how much I still love her.”

  Acknowledgments

  Jovana Shirley, like I say every time—and I mean this with my whole heart—I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone but you. Thank you for always working with me and my last-minute changes and for your endless support. Love you.

  Nina Grinstead, I love you more than anything. You’re the most amazing publicist and friend, and I can’t thank you enough for being on this journey with me. We are in this until the end. Team B.

  Hang Le, my unicorn, thank you for being the most amazing human in the world. You are just incredible in every way.

  Judy Zweifel, as always, thank you for being so wonderful to work with and for taking such good care of my words. <3

  Tandy Boese, you’re amazing, thank you for squeezing me in.

  Kaitie Reister, I love you, girl, so hard. You’re my biggest cheerleader, and you’re such a wonderful friend. Thank you for being you. XO

  Chanpreet, you are so sweet and so generous. Thanks for always holding me together. XO

  Nikki Terrill and Andrea Lefkowitz, I owe you, like, 47 puppies. Seriously, I love you two so much. And I will never be able to thank you for everything that you do for me. You girls are my soul sisters.

  Kimmi Street and Crystal Radaker, I love you more than love.

  Ratula Roy, words will never do justice to how much I love and appreciate you. You mean everything to me.

  Donna Cooksley Sanderson, you mean everything to me. xx

  Ricky, my sexyreads, I love you.

  Miss Paige, thank youuu. <3

  Extra-special love goes to Hilary Suppes, Chris Fletcher, Stacey Jacovina, Jesse James, Kayti McGee, Carol Nevarez, Julie Vaden, Elizabeth Kelley, Jennifer Porpora, Pat Mann, Katie Amanatidis, Katy Truscott, my COPA ladies, and my group of Sarasota girls, whom I love more than anything. I’m so grateful for all of you.

  Mom and Dad, thanks for your unwavering belief in me and your constant encouragement. It means more than you’ll ever know.

  Brian, my words could never dent the amount of love you give me. Trust me when I say, I love you more.

  My Midnighters, you are such a supportive, loving, motivating group. Thanks for being such an inspiration, for holding my hand when I need it, and for always begging for more words. I love you all.

  To all the bloggers who read, review, share, post, tweet, Instagram—Thank you, thank you, thank you will never be enough. You do so much for our writing community, and we’re so appreciative.

  To my readers—I cherish each and every one of you. I’m so grateful for all the love you show my books, for taking the time to reach out to me, and for your passion and enthusiasm. I love, love, love you.

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  About the Author

  USA Today best-selling author Marni Mann knew she was going to be a writer since middle school. While other girls her age were daydreaming about teenage pop stars, Marni was fantasizing about penning her first novel. She crafts sexy, titillating stories that weave together her love of darkness, mystery, passion, and human emotions. A New Englander at heart, she now lives in Sarasota, Florida, with her husband and their two dogs. When she’s not nose deep in her laptop, working on her next novel, she’s scouring for chocolate, sipping wine, traveling, or devouring fabulous books.

  Want to get in touch? Visit me at…

  www.marnismann.com

  MarniMannBooks@gmail.com

  Also by Marni Mann

  STAND-ALONE NOVELS

  Even If It Hurts (Contemporary Romance)

  Before You (Contemporary Romance)

  The Assistant (Psychological Thriller)

  When Ashes Fall (Contemporary Romance)

  The Unblocked Collection (Erotic Romance)

  Wild Aces (Erotic Romance)

  Prisoned (Dark Erotic Thriller)

  * * *

  THE AGENCY STAND-ALONE SERIES—Erotic Romance

  Signed

  Endorsed

  Contracted

  Negotiated

  * * *

  THE SHADOWS SERIES—Erotic Romance

  Seductive Shadows—Book One

  Seductive Secrecy—Book Two

  * * *

  THE PRISONED SPIN-OFF DUET—Dark Erotic Thriller

  Animal—Book One

  Monster—Book Two

  * * *

  THE BAR HARBOR SERIES—New Adult

  Pulled Beneath—Book One

  Pulled Within—Book Two

  * * *

  THE MEMOIR SERIES—Dark Mainstream Fiction

  Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales—Book One

  Scars from a Memoir—Book Two

  * * *

  NOVELS COWRITTEN WITH GIA RILEY

  Lover (Erotic Romance)

  Drowning (Contemporary Romance)

  Even If It Hurts

  From USA Today best-selling author Marni Mann comes Even If It Hurts, an emotionally charged contemporary romance that’s releasing January 28, 2020. When you have a perfect marriage, only an impossible reconnection could make you risk it all.

  PRE-ORDER HERE

  Sneak Peek of When Ashes Fall

  Alix - Present Day

  “Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?” I said into the headset as I stared at the computer screen.

  While I waited for a response, I sucked in a deep breath and rested my fingers on the keyboard, my thumb gently tapping the space bar but not hard enough to actually press it down. My body tensed. The tips of my toes grou
nd into the bottom of my shoes.

  It was a ritual.

  One I repeated every time I answered a call.

  “I’m at the Public Garden,” the woman said. “And a man just fell off one of the benches. He’s on the ground, screaming. You can probably hear him in the background. It looks like he hurt his arm or something.”

  Once I processed her description, my chest loosened.

  The air I’d been holding in slowly made its way through my lips.

  The tapping stopped.

  “What’s your name?” I asked.

  “Why do you need that?”

  “It’s for our records and also so I know what to call you.”

  “I’m not comfortable with giving you my last name, but my first name is Rachel.”

  “Rachel,” I repeated as I typed it into the system, “do you know the man’s name?”

  “I don’t know him. I was just walking by with my boyfriend, and I saw it happen.”

  “Are you able to get close to him and ask if he’s okay?”

  “Look, I’m just calling out of courtesy. I don’t have time to go over and assess the man.”

  Before I could respond, Rachel disconnected the call.