The Lottery

by D. K. Wall

  Nathan held her gaze. “Don’t we owe it to him to find out? Doesn’t Jacob deserve to know?”

  She sat looking at him then slowly nodded. “Someday, maybe. But I don’t see a rush. He’s already going to have to deal with his parents living apart. That’s a lot to take in. And I think he needs both his mom and dad to be there for him through this. I mean the dad who has been there every day of his life. Later, we can find out who fathered him.”

  “But what if Hank forces the issue? Can’t he insist on a paternity test? I’ll always worry he will come take him away.”

  “Fat chance,” Matt said and busted out laughing. “He’ll never push for it.”

  Donna and Nathan exchanged puzzled glances. “Why not?” they asked in unison.

  “How often do you play catch with Jacob? Or shoot hoops? Or go fishing? Or even just sit and help him with his homework.”

  “As often as I can.”

  “Same with me and Luke. I’m even getting halfway decent on the Xbox, playing games with both of them.”

  “So?”

  “Why do you do it?”

  Nathan shrugged. “Because it’s a lot of fun to hang out. He’s a cool kid.”

  “Hank’s different. Sure, he buys Luke presents for Christmas and all that, but he never just plays with him. He doesn’t sit on the floor playing video games or hang out in the yard tossing a ball around. I think the only reason he was interested in Jacob was because he was interested in Donna.”

  Donna spoke up. “Even if he tried, all he would get is some visitation rights. There’s no question I’m the mother, and I’m going to make sure he spends time with you, Nathan.”

  Matt shook his head. “What I’m saying is it will never get there. It’s actually the other way around. At some point you’re going to want to try and prove that Hank is the dad.”

  Donna and Nathan both shouted in shock, “Why?”

  Matt tsked. “Because he just won the lottery, folks. All you have to do is threaten to have him tested, and Hank’ll be itching to settle. Jacob’s college fund is totally covered. “

  26

  The conversation slowly petered out as exhaustion from the day settled on everyone. After a period of extended silence, Danny spoke up. “Colette’s going to wonder if I kidnapped her husband, so I should get him home. Ronnie, sorry we invaded your house. I appreciate you letting us hang out for a bit, but we should get out of your way.”

  The group moved out onto the expansive front porch with its rocking chairs and porch swing. The twin lights on either side of the door brightened only a portion of the front yard. Their cars were but dark shadows lining the curb.

  As they all chattered, Donna grabbed the porch railing and took a first step down the stairs when she froze, her foot dangling in midair and her eyes widening as she stared into the darkness. Nathan followed her gaze and spotted a tiny orange dot—the end of a cigarette glowing.

  A man shouted from the darkness, “You going back to him?”

  Hank emerged from the shadows and tossed the cigarette onto the cracked sidewalk, scattering sparks. He slammed his foot down on it and twisted, extinguishing the lit tobacco. He walked forward until he was blocking their path down the front walk with his menacing stance.

  Nathan descended the steps and stood protectively in front of Donna as she slowly shook her head.

  She spoke quietly, her voice just above a whisper. “No.”

  “You’ll go back to him. Just like you did before. Scampering back to the golden child.”

  “Not this time.” Her voice was firmer, more confident, despite the threat in Hank’s voice.

  “Prove it. Get in the car. Let’s go to Atlanta right now. Leave all this crap behind.”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Jacob.”

  Hank stood glaring from the shadows, anger oozing off him. He clenched his fists and took two steps forward. “If it hadn’t been for that boy, you would have come with me after high school. Your life would be totally different today.”

  Donna stepped around Nathan, her hand gentle on his elbow, and nodded. Her voice soft, she said, “Yes, but I wouldn’t have ‘that boy.’ And Jacob is the world to me. It would be less rich without him.”

  Hank continued to stare for several seconds before his head dropped and his hands slowly unclenched. He matched her drop in volume. “He might be mine. Maybe the three of us could have gone off back then. Been our own family.”

  She continued advancing until she touched his hand with her fingers. “Maybe. But it’s not the way things happened. We can’t change the past. And you really don’t know who the father is, do you?”

  He stood still for several seconds before reluctantly shaking his head.

  “Jacob never took the DNA test, did he?”

  The shake of his head was almost imperceptible as he mumbled, “No.”

  “So why such a crazy lie?”

  His head snapped up, and he glared at Nathan. “Because I knew you wouldn’t move to Atlanta without Jacob. And no way would you take him away from his father. So I thought if I could convince him I was the father, he would just let us go.”

  “Oh, Hank.” She tsked and shook her head. “I wouldn’t take my son away from Millerton and the only father he’s ever known, because that’s what’s best for him. It’s not about what you want or what Nathan wants or even what I want. And it’s certainly not about which one of you fathered him years ago. The only thing that matters to me is what Jacob needs. Once he’s in college or working and he doesn’t need me around as much, I might have moved with you.” She shrugged. “I still might though we would have a lot of things to work out first. But no matter what, not before Jacob is ready to stand on his own, even if you are the father.”

  Hank reached under his jacket and withdrew a cellophane pack and tapped the box against his hand. A cigarette extended itself, and he offered it to Donna. She eyed it but shook her head in refusal. “They’re bad for me” is all she said.

  He sighed and extracted the cigarette, placed it in his mouth, cupped his hands, and lit it with a flick of his lighter. After inhaling deeply, he blew a large cloud of smoke into the air and looked over the group. “It’s just high school days all over again. I got tired of competing against him then and am tired of it now.”

  Jolted, Nathan protested. “I never knew we were competing.”

  “Sure we were. We’ve always competed. Since the day we met. Who’s faster? Who’s stronger? Who gets the girl?”

  Donna looked at the two of them. “So I was a prize?”

  Hank paused and scratched his chin. “I hate to admit it, but at first, yeah. I know that sounds horrible—it is horrible—but then I really started to like hanging around you. Talking to you. Being with you. Those nights at my house were some of the best of my life.”

  Donna started to walk away, but Hank called after her, “I don’t mean the sex. Yeah, that was great, but you were the first girl I ever saw a future with. I loved you.” He paused and drew in another lungful of smoke. “I still do.” As Donna turned to look at him, he continued, “When you wouldn’t break up with him back then, it broke my heart. I realized I cared for you more than you cared for me. That had never happened to me before. I was always supposed to be the one who could just walk away.”

  He turned his back on the group and looked out at the dark street. “I couldn’t hang around with you two and watch you together. It ate me up inside. I couldn’t wait for school to be over so I could just leave and forget you. The worst day of my life was watching you get married to him.”

  He turned back toward Donna and took a hesitant step toward her. “I had tried so hard to forget, but I couldn’t. Did you know I kept a picture of you in my locker during the Marines? Told all the guys in my platoon that you were my girlfriend. And the more I thought of you”—he turned to look at Nathan—“and you being with him, the more it hurt. Even when I was discharged, I made excuses not to come back and see Matt
y because I was scared to run into you. And then I did, and the feelings just exploded again.”

  Donna mumbled, “At Matt’s house before Halloween.”

  “Yes.” Hank looked away, his moist eyes glistening in the porch light. “Talking to you that day, I could tell you weren’t happy. Not with Nathan. Not with your life. I thought maybe I had a chance.”

  “You did.”

  “But Jake…” He glanced over at Nathan. “Jacob. As much as I had a chance with you, you would never tear Jacob away from Nathan. All of our time together, all she talked about was Jacob this and Jacob that, and that was cool because he’s a good kid, but she also said Jacob and Nathan too much. And so I thought, maybe, if I could drive a big enough wedge between you and Nathan, maybe I had a chance. I hated that he hurt you, but I saw my chance to break you up for good. And then when I saw him hiding in the woods, watching the baseball game—“

  Nathan smiled wanly. “I didn’t want to miss his game.”

  “But, you see, I knew right then—I didn’t stand a chance. You love that kid too much. You love him enough to hide in the woods so you can watch him play a game. It’s painted all over your face, just like it’s painted all over hers. So I panicked and told that stupid DNA-test story.”

  “Thinking I would let him go if he wasn’t my son?”

  Hank nodded and shrugged.

  Nathan said, “I don’t care what any test says. He’s my son.”

  “I get that now. What I did was a desperate and crazy thing.” Hank turned and took several steps toward his car before turning back. “You know she was going to break up with you back in high school.”

  “Danny told me. After the Roosevelt game.”

  “Yeah.” Hank took another drag on his cigarette. “Have you ever wondered about how things would have been different?”

  “No. I didn’t know you two were, well, together back then. So I haven’t had time to think about it.”

  “I don’t mean just your happy little family.” Hank chewed on his lip. “I mean about everything. The weird little things that happen and change everything. If she hadn’t gotten pregnant, she would have broken up with you that night. Don’t you see how different everything would be?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I don’t think you do. What would have happened?”

  “We probably would have gotten into a big fight.”

  “Exactly. And if we would have done that, we would never have gone together to the Point. You and Charlie would probably have gone home and Danny and I to my house. We would have made up a few days later, but either way, that would have meant Charlie would still be alive.”

  Hank’s voice grew quiet as he looked down the street. “All those little twists of fate, just like Charlie was always trying to get us to see in Shakespeare. If you hadn’t tackled Ricky Ward, he would have scored, and we wouldn’t have wanted to celebrate. Or if Matty had told you that I was sleeping with Donna while we were sitting in the car, we would have brawled right there. Or if it hadn’t been raining, others would have gone to the Point, and we wouldn’t have needed to get back to my house.”

  “Just the way things went.”

  “But that’s my point. A whole bunch of random things happened, and there we were in a wrecked car up by the Point. Stupid, horrible luck.”

  Hank’s eyes were filled with tears when he turned back to face them. “And worst of all, the one that will haunt me forever—what if I had been the one hurt rather than you? You wouldn’t have left him there in the river. You would have pulled him out.”

  When Nathan took a step forward, Hank waved him off with his hands. “If I hadn’t been so drunk or so scared of the trouble we were in or so stupid, I would have got him out of there. But you weren’t that drunk or scared or stupid. You were just hurt.” His voice breaking, he struggled through his words. “How’s that for the worst luck of them all? Charlie needed one friend to not let him drown.”

  Nathan closed the gap between them and put his hands on Hank’s shoulders. He opened his mouth to protest but was stopped by Ronnie’s booming voice cutting through the night.

  “Is that what y’all think? That Charlie died because you didn’t get him out of the water?”

  Hank replied, “They said it in court. He drowned.”

  “Yeah, he did. But that doesn’t mean he was going to live if you got him out.” Ronnie looked up at the starlit sky and sighed. “I can’t ever get that autopsy report out of my head. The whole thing. His skull was crushed. Massive internal bleeding. Shattered bones. Organ damage. He was never going to wake up. The water just got him before something else did. He drowned only because it was the quickest path.”

  Hank stood in stunned silence before speaking. “So you’re saying it didn’t matter what we did?”

  “Being drunk mattered.” Ronnie looked sternly over at Danny. “Driving drunk mattered.”

  Danny dropped his gaze to the ground as Ronnie turned back to Hank. “I’m saying you did everything you could to save the ones that could be saved. You ran to get help, and it got there in time to save these two.” He turned his eyes to Nathan’s face. “And you kept Danny alive by talking to him, keeping him conscious.” He reached out and put a hand on the back of Hank’s and Nathan’s necks and pulled them close. “Neither one of you could have saved Charlie. It was too late. He was killed the instant the accident happened. It just took a little while to be over.”

  They stood awkwardly in the front yard trying to talk, but the bonds of friendship had long since frayed. Hank muttered his goodbyes, looked longingly at Donna, and climbed into his car. They watched Hank’s taillights disappear down the street.

  As they stood quietly in a huddle, Danny’s voice reached them from the front porch.

  “If I could get a little help, I need to get back down to yard level without doing a kamikaze down the steps.”

  They all chuckled at the visual. Matt and Nathan lifted Danny’s wheelchair from the porch and gently placed it and its occupant on the front sidewalk.

  As they moved toward their vehicles, Ronnie’s voice carried through the night. “Can I ask a favor?”

  They answered in unison and without the slightest hesitation, “Sure.”

  “I have a carpentry project that needs to get done. I could sure use some help.”

  Nathan scanned around the house, always on the lookout for a loose gutter or rotting trim work. “Glad to help with anything. What do you need?”

  Ronnie walked down to the sidewalk and motioned behind him. “These steps are great for sitting on in the morning and sipping a cup of coffee. But I think they’re wide enough that we would have plenty of room to build a ramp on one side. That would make the porch more accessible.”

  The older man paused and nodded toward Danny sitting in his wheelchair. “If Nathan is going to come over here and bring Jacob, then you should feel comfortable coming and going without asking for help. I want to have my boys hanging out on the porch again. It’s not right you can’t get up there without help.”

  Shock spread on Danny’s face as he opened his mouth to speak, but he could only stutter. Ronnie got down on a knee so that he could look Danny in the eyes. “It’s been long enough. I miss Charlie and will never stop missing him, but I’ve been holding on to my hurt and anger too much. I hope you can forgive me for that.”

  “Forgive you? I’m the one who needs the forgiveness.”

  Ronnie extended his hand for a shake. “I can see what a good person you are. How you’ve been there for Nathan. Any friend of his is welcome in my house, so I’d like you to feel free to come around anytime you want.”

  Danny gripped the offered hand firmly and shook. “I’d like that. More than you’ll ever know.”

  “Good.” Ronnie stood and addressed all of them. “Why don’t y’all come around tomorrow, and I’ll fix lunch? We can map out a plan so I can get the lumber we need.”

  “And which frozen dinner are you microwaving for us?” Nathan asked with
a sly smile.

  Ronnie tried to protest, but Danny interrupted. “I’ve got a better idea. I have a restaurant to open, so I need to practice cooking for lots of people. The store is closed on Sundays, so why don’t y’all come down there for a big lunch. Matt, you bring Colette and Luke. We’ll have a big celebration lunch and then come out here and build a ramp.”

  Part IV

  Sunday

  27

  The garage bay doors stood open, a cloud of dust hanging in the air as Matt swept the floors. Abe and Ronnie sat in swivel office chairs and watched the work, telling stories of their own youthful days and laughing at long-forgotten antics.

  Nathan half listened to them as he organized tools in drawers and tested equipment. Over a decade of inactivity had taken its toll on the machinery, but his adept hands were bringing them to life one by one.

  He focused first on the compressor. After only a few minutes of tinkering, it came to life with a roar of air building in the tanks. He found the old basketball, deflated from years of neglect, in a dusty corner and filled it.

  Luke and Jacob promptly started a game of Horse. At first, they took turns performing layups and short jump shots, but the game progressed to a more difficult and challenging level. As he giggled, Luke hopped on one leg and took a hook shot with his eyes closed. To everyone’s amazement, the ball swished through the rotting net—Nathan made a mental note to buy a new one—and Jacob was attempting to recreate it or risk scoring an R. Their infectious laughter echoed off the wall of the shop.

  Donna and Colette supervised the game with amusement as they sat in lawn chairs in some shade off to one side of the parking lot. They chatted and laughed, comparing notes on the exploits of their sons.

  When Colette went inside to refill their iced tea, Donna waved Nathan over. “Thanks again for coming over this morning.”

  He settled into the chair beside her. “He deserved to hear it from both of us.”