Alyona's Voice

by Joan Shirley-Davies

  ‘You must do whatever it takes. You cannot afford to be too proud to let Mr Gallier pay for this.’

  ‘It’s not pride, it’s―’

  ‘Then I must pay,’ Irena declared.

  ‘OK, OK, I’ll use the wretched card.’

  ‘Will you please go and change into whatever you have, and we can go shopping.’

  Claudia showered and dressed in jeans and a cotton blouse, and in an attempt to shake off some of the shock and pain, she lifted the tone of her voice when she returned to Irena. ‘Do you think Lennie will let me into his diner dressed like this?’

  ‘You look much better.’

  The improvement in Claudia’s mood was small, but Sunset Boulevard defied her to be morose. ‘This place is so alive.’ She gazed at the skyline ahead where beautiful, pale-toned properties nestled on the high ground and looked down over the billowing, green, leafy escarpment at the boulevard below. It reached every sense in her body. Her eyes drank in the contrasting colour tones between the pale, sunlit buildings and the splashes of vibrant hues from flowering plants. Despite the energy and the activity of the boulevard, Claudia felt calm and unrushed.

  ‘It is very busy, and a little crazy I think,’ Irena said.

  ‘But it’s not like London, it’s more of a relaxed kind of busy.’

  ‘That is a very confusing comment.’

  Claudia pointed up to a placard on the top of a building. ‘That film looks good. I’ll have to look for it when it comes to the UK.’

  ‘Your mother would be pleased. She has some of her actors in it.’

  ‘You’re incredible, Irena, your ability to research…’ Claudia stopped and looked at her. ‘You met her, didn’t you?’

  ‘Yes, when she came to the hotel. You were expecting her to make a move, and that was it.’

  ‘But did she threaten Fraser?’

  ‘It could be argued that she was just making conversation, but it was clear that she had enough information to do a great deal of damage to the family. We realised that she was being manipulative, even lying. The idea was to discredit you, so that they would give her the diaries for safekeeping. I took notes. Do you want to see them?’

  ‘No, I know her patter.’ Claudia was unmoved for her own part, but angry that Elsa had drawn Tony and Fraser into it. ‘But can you take notes of my meeting with her, as many as you like.’

  ‘Good idea, then you will have some proof of what actually transpires. Perhaps an audio account would be more convincing.’ She smiled, ‘It could be entertaining to hear you… nailing your mother to the wall.’ She walked on. ‘Come, you have shopping to do before we go to see Lennie.’

  The instant they walked into Lennie’s diner, Claudia heard his loud cry of, ‘Claudeee!’

  ‘Lennie!’ She threw her arms around him. Lennie had always been such a rock, and right now it felt so good to be with somebody so reliable and loyal. ‘Oh my God, Lennie, it’s so good to see you.’

  Lennie looked at her and smiled. ‘What happened? I used to be taller than you.’

  Claudia smiled at him fondly, then looked around. ‘You always said you’d get a place, Lennie. I love it.’

  Lennie smiled at her. ‘You’re beautiful, Claudie,’ he shook his head, ‘just beautiful.’

  Claudia introduced Irena and they all sat together at a table. Claudia explained why she was there.

  ‘So, at last, little Claudie’s gonna kick her momma’s badass, huh?’

  ‘Which is it going to be?’ Irena said. ‘Nailing her to the wall or kicking her bad ass?’

  ‘From my experience of Elsa Hamilton,’ Lennie said, ‘it’ll take both. Need any help, Claudie?’

  ‘No, Lennie, you helped a long time ago and suffered for it.’

  ‘Nah! It was worth it. That arrogant young bastard’s nose crunched a lot harder than my knuckles.’

  Lennie stayed with them while they had a meal, and the conversation continued to flow like torrents. They talked about everything, a nostalgic pastiche of memories intertwined with news.

  Lennie regarded Claudia affectionately and said, ‘So you’re a momma now? Are ya gonna marry his dad?’

  Claudia was caught on the hop. ‘Ah! Well…he proposed and left me to think about it.’

  ‘Does he love the little guy?’

  ‘Crazy about him! He’s a great dad.’

  Lennie squeezed her hands. ‘Do you love him, Claudie?’

  Claudia felt her heart twist painfully, and she faltered a moment. Then she looked at Lennie, tears rushed to her eyes. ‘All around the ranch and back, Lennie…all around the ranch and back.’

  ‘Aw! Ya miss him?’

  She wouldn’t share the details of recent events. Lennie so wanted her to be happy. She wrinkled her nose and nodded.

  ‘When’s the big shootout, huh?’

  ‘Tomorrow.’

  Lennie squeezed her hand and said, ‘Will ya be OK, Claudie?’

  ‘You bet, Lennie,’ Claudia said with a determined look in her eyes. ‘Tomorrow, I’ll be the one calling the shots.’

  *****

  Irena approached the table where Claudia sat with her morning coffee. ‘I did not realise you had come outside. How are you feeling?’

  ‘I know where I am, what I’m doing here, and what I still have to do, but my perception of the world is out of shape.’

  ‘Jetlag, is not just a matter of changing sleep patterns.’ Irena put some papers on the table. ‘For you,’ she said, and then sat down. ‘Your estimated earnings during your childhood. I thought it might come in useful.’

  ‘How on earth did you…?’

  ‘You do not need to know that, you just need to see the figures. I assume that she did not leave much of it in your trust fund, otherwise, you would still have a large proportion of it. You are not the kind of person to spend it all recklessly.’

  ‘This is great. Thank you.’ Irena looked so cool, composed and very smart, Claudia felt secure in her stalwart company. ‘I didn’t expect you to come and prop me up, but I’m so glad you’re here.’

  Irena rested her hand on Claudia’s arm. ‘What you are going to do will take a great deal of courage. You have that, be sure to use it.’

  ‘I suspect that’s your thing, bailing women out, when they get in a pickle.’

  ‘The memory of my own pickle, as you call it, is still very clear. I picked up my children and moved from Ukraine, without hesitation. Mr Franklyn gave me a job and made the move a positive one.’ She looked Claudia in the eye. ‘I can organise your travel and accommodation, I can also support you as a friend, but I cannot ease your pain. That, you must do for yourself.’

  Claudia nodded. ‘Yes, I know.’ A gush of air snatched at her lungs, and a sob escaped her control. ‘Dear God! Did I do something so bad to deserve all this?’

  ‘It does not matter whether you did or not,’ Irena said steadily. ‘The task is still the same. Do not look to your anger to help you. Today, you will need concentration not anger. Gain control of the meeting at the very first opportunity, and do not let it go.’

  Claudia knew she was right. She hated the thought, but it had to be done. She sipped her coffee and looked around at the flamboyant Bougainvillea plants in the courtyard, red, orange and pink, like flames around the walls. They spilled over large planters, wrapped their tendrils around pillars and looked down between the bars of the pergola overhead. Their sumptuous bracts almost hid their tiny, dainty white flowers, too small to compete with such a show of colour. Yet, beneath all that blazing beauty, sharp thorns lay in wait, spikes to prick your fingers should you get too close. It was like the beautiful life she reached for, only to find the hidden barbs too late.

  ‘You should have breakfast,’ Irena said, ‘then you can get ready. I made a call, remained anonymous and established that Elsa Hamilton was there. You do not want to ruin the plan by missing her.’

  Irena’s phone rang. She answered it and then looked at Claudia. ‘Mr Gallier wishes to speak to you.’


  Claudia’s body quaked. She shook her head, and then listened to Irena trying to convince him.

  ‘Mr Gallier insists that it is very important?’

  Claudia couldn’t expect Irena to argue with him. It might even be Justin who needed her. She took the phone, her lungs tightened, she tried to take a deep breath but was denied it. ‘Is Justin all right?’

  ‘Yes, he’s fine. He’s having a fabulous time. Claudia…’

  ‘Not now, Fraser.’

  ‘Darling, please…this is killing me.’

  ‘Do you want it all ways, Fraser? You want what you want and for me to make it easy?’

  ‘If you’d just listen…talk to me. I love you. I love you so much.’

  He whispered those words in the night, when it was easy to express emotions. This was the first time she’d heard them in the light of day. They were like heavy blows to her body, apologetic terms of endearment to try and excuse what had happened. She brought her voice under control, it was flat, emotionless, void of the nuances of friendship or love. ‘I love you too, Fraser, I always have. But you must remember that I’ve lived with these feelings for a long time. And I’m tired of carrying them around like useless baggage.’

  ‘Of course they’re not useless. Please, my love, let me explain―’

  ‘Another time. Take care of Justin, that’s all I care about at the moment. Can you remember the bedtime song? If not, I can text the words…’ Her voice faded into silence.

  ‘I can remember them now,’ Fraser murmured.

  ‘Please don’t call me again.’

  ‘I’ll do as you ask if you promise that we can talk when you get back.’

  ‘I have to talk to you, Fraser, packing up my life and moving on isn’t so straightforward anymore. I can’t just take Justin away from his family.’

  ‘I told you, it’s your family too.’

  ‘I have to go. Bye, Fraser.’

  ‘No, no, don’t hang up, please…’

  ‘I’m sorry I can only face one demon at a time.’ She ended the call and sat in silence for a moment. Then she said, softly, ‘Of all the times for him to say “I love you”, he had to choose now. Is that how they do it, Irena? Is that how they keep a woman in tow? When they’re losing her they say “I love you” and start making new promises, until the next time?’

  Chapter Thirty-One

  ‘My God, how much has she spent on this place?’ Claudia whispered as they approached the sprawling reception desk at The Elsa Hamilton Agency.

  ‘Good morning. May I help you?’ The receptionist asked.

  ‘I’m here to see Elsa Hamilton,’ Claudia said clearly, with her head high the way her mother taught her.

  ‘Do you have an appointment?’

  ‘I don’t need one,’ Claudia spoke boldly.

  ‘I’m afraid you do,’ the woman said, in a patronising tone. ‘Mrs Hamilton is a very busy woman. If you’d like to leave your details―photographs and resume…’

  Claudia pointed to an enormous picture on the wall behind the reception desk, the one where her horse was rearing, she was smiling and raising her Stetson hat in the air. ‘There’s my photograph, it launched this agency, and I don’t need an appointment to see my mother.’

  The receptionist gasped and reached for the phone. Irena calmly pressed her hand on top of hers. ‘Miss Hamilton would like it to be a surprise.’

  ‘She doesn’t like surprises. Anyway, she wanted to know immediately if you made contact.’ The receptionist seemed nervous.

  ‘I’m sure she did,’ Claudia said and moved towards the office door. ‘She’ll get over it.’ She stopped a moment as she heard Elsa’s voice, but it wasn’t coming from the office, it was breathing against the back of her neck, a memory that was as welcome as a persistent hornet buzzing in her ear.

  So often she had stood like this while Mother had issued instructions. ‘Come now, Claudie, head up. They’re looking for somebody with courage and spirit, not a wilting wimp. Don’t forget to tell them you can ride and swim very well. I’ll count to three, and then you’ll open that door and walk in, confident and cheerful but not too precocious. Do you understand? One…two…’ Claudia mouthed the countdown and then burst through the door.

  Elsa Hamilton sat at her enormous desk in a cavernous, luxurious room, like a dictator in a fictitious land. Her brow lifted in surprise, but she wasn’t thrown off balance.

  The receptionist tried to make a hasty apology. Claudia approached her and spoke in a low voice. ‘I don’t want to be interrupted, otherwise, I’ll scream at my mother, and then she’ll scream at you.’

  ‘But what if somebody…’

  ‘They wait―understand? And no phone calls.’

  ‘I should check with Mrs Ham―’

  ‘You shouldn’t ignore my request, otherwise, a virus will hit your computer within seconds. You won’t be able to find your clients’ records.’

  The receptionist’s eyes stared in fear. ‘You can’t do that?’

  ‘No,’ Claudia said in a cool tone, ‘but she can.’ She quietly spoke a few words, in Russian, to Irena.

  Irena responded, also in Russian. Then, cool and silent, she sat down on one of the chairs against the wall and laid her case on the next seat.

  ‘Got it?’ Claudia said with a lift of her brow.

  The receptionist’s eyes rounded, and she glanced again towards Elsa Hamilton who waved her away.

  ‘What’s this―Mother’s Day?’ Elsa drawled. ‘Or has my daughter come to her senses at last.’

  ‘You guessed.’ Claudia assumed a dignified demeanour as she crossed the plush, carpeted floor towards the vast desk. She looked at Elsa’s cold eyes, the expression she wore when she was expecting an explanation. Claudia showed no emotion. She would explain when she was good and ready. This was where the old rules ended, and the new ones would be printed indelibly on Elsa Hamilton’s mind. Claudia raised her head and made her first move, one she knew would irritate her mother. ‘Hello Ma!’

  Elsa’s nostrils twitched. ‘Don’t call me that, it’s so undignified.’

  ‘I know, that’s why I came up with the idea a long time ago. It annoyed you intensely. Small consolation, but it helped me survive.’

  ‘Have you brought my diaries?’

  ‘Patience, Ma,’ Claudia said. ‘I thought we’d have a chat.’

  ‘You came all the way out here for a tête-ὰ-tête?’ Elsa said.

  Claudia moved to the edge of the desk. ‘I understand that you did the same thing. You went to Merevale, had a chat with my boss.’

  ‘You’ve fallen on your feet. It’s the oldest trick in the book to have a rich man’s brat. Nice watch, by the way, you got yourself a fine bread ticket.’

  ‘You married a poor man and made a bread ticket out of your child.’ She stared into Elsa’s cold eyes. ‘I’m not here with the diaries.’

  Elsa’s lips tightened. ‘Then what?’

  ‘A dual,’ Claudia said. ‘There’s obviously no point in hoping for an amicable, round-the-table discussion, so it has to be movie-style. A fully blown, once and for all, “High Noon” shootout. I’m calling you out, Ma.’

  ‘You think because you burst in unannounced, you’ve gained ground?’ Elsa suddenly laughed. Not the kind of musical sound that one normally makes with laughter, but a fabricated, metronomic burst of sounds designed to taunt and insult.

  Claudia shook her head. ‘There’s no need to use the old, let’s-demoralise-Claudia routine, because it won’t work anymore.’

  ‘You shouldn’t be too sure of that.’

  ‘Well, I’m fresh out of bunny rabbits and fluffy kittens, you sold my horse from under me, long ago. So what’s to lose? And before you can threaten to use my child for your power games, you should be warned.’

  ‘Of what?’ Elsa scoffed. ‘Get to the point. I’ve got important people to see.’

  A flash of anger burned in Claudia’s eyes, but she remained cool. ‘More little working babies?’

&nbs
p; ‘They’re up for it.’

  ‘Not all of them. There’ll be one or two like I was. Little earners, playing out Mummy’s dreams.’ Claudia spoke in a cool tone, she couldn’t allow her mother to gain ground. ‘So,’ she continued, ‘here’s the deal, Ma. You’re going to get out of my life for good, and stop turning up unannounced to threaten me and my family…understand?’

  ‘We’ve already established that, once the diaries are handed over. I don’t even want the bloody things, just the translation will do. You can have the useless bits of paper and the dogeared notebooks.’

  ‘You don’t understand,’ Claudia said, unruffled by Elsa’s arrogance. ‘You’re not getting the diaries or the translations.’

  ‘Then you’re bringing nothing to the table, you silly girl. What are you going to do, sue me? See where that gets you.’

  ‘Sue you, Ma?’ Claudia said boldly. ‘What kind of an ungrateful daughter would do that? No, I’m playing this your way.’

  ‘My…?’

  Claudia stared down at her mother and said, ‘This is not a good time to upset me…’

  Irena suddenly coughed.

  Claudia realised that it was a warning, her control was wavering. She got back on track and spoke in a determined but steady voice, ‘Your rules…one dirty, low-down trick for another.’

  ‘You’re bluffing. You can’t play it that way. All you can do is run away.’

  ‘This is a one-off special.’

  Elsa sniggered. ‘Go on then, you silly girl, deliver your first…blow.’ She remained seated as if she wielded more power from there.

  ‘You always told me that my earnings were in a trust fund, and when I was 18, I could access it. You gave me papers and everything, but they were just a prop to keep me quiet. When I turned up for my college fees, there was no such thing as a trust fund.’

  ‘What are you going to do, give me slap on the wrist?’

  ‘I’m preparing an article about it for your local press. My mother made me work for over ten years and then stole my trust fund, leaving me penniless. I think they’ll print that.’

  ‘I think not. If you’re going to play that worn out card around here, you need to get in the queue with all the other disgruntled child stars. I submitted accounts. It was all perfectly legal. By the time we paid all those expensive personal coaches―’