Her Best Friend’s Brother

by Feeney, M. B.

  “So, golfing with the grandparents. How much fun will that be?” Megan’s voice was thick with sarcasm.

  “Oh, quit it,” Lucy snapped.

  “He’s just so boring and serious all the time. He was okay as a friend, but lately his yawn-o-meter has gone up a few notches. I’m worried it may be contagious and my best friend will become an accountant.”

  “I like that he’s serious. He’s good for me, Meg.” Lucy tried to believe the words as she spoke them.

  “Okay, okay.”

  To prevent an argument between them, Lucy deftly changed the subject. “How are you holding up? Opening night this weekend.”

  At the mention of the performance, cute biology guy was forgotten in an instant. “Put it this way, if Jenson weren’t home, you’d be upstairs watching me rehearse. It’s nice to have a distraction. The director told me that we’ll have talent scouts in the audience”

  “And as you’re the lead of the Sugar Plum Fairy…”

  “All eyes will be on me. I’m so freaking nervous.”

  Lucy worried about her best friend. If she continued like this, she was going to burn out or make herself sick.

  “You’ll do great. You’re the most beautiful, graceful person I’ve ever met.”

  “You’re too sweet.”

  “You’re going to knock everyone off their feet at the weekend.”

  “It’ll be just my luck that I’ll be the one knocked off my feet on stage.”

  “If you are, I have full confidence that you’ll do it gracefully.” Both of them laughed.

  “Oh, they’re back.” Megan spotted Matthew and Jenson as they re-entered the room, both carrying bottles of soda. They were grinning at one another, sharing some kind of joke. Before parting ways, Jenson flashed one of his widest smiles at Matthew.

  It was the smile he gave everyone, the one that made girls fall for him, and made guys want to be his best friend. Lucy knew it well and realized she was merely another victim of it. Matthew seemed to glow under Jenson’s attention before turning to head Lucy’s way.

  “Hey, Meg. I’m glad I’ve finally had the chance to meet your brother properly. He seems like a really cool guy.”

  Matthew and Megan’s conversation faded into the background as Lucy watched a girl practically throw herself at Jenson, watching as she took one of the bottles from Jenson, using it as an excuse to lean into his side. Turning his head, he gave her a beautiful and bright smile. It was then Lucy truly realized that their time together meant nothing to him. She decided there and then to no longer concern herself with him. She needed to keep her distance and not let herself fall under his spell again.

  * * *

  Jenson walked into the diner, bringing the cool wind from outside and his large, dominating presence with him. Spotting Lucy, he headed over to the booth to join her. His mouth was turned up into an easy smile, and his eyes sought hers out. His stride seemed lighter, easier, as if he’d recently let go of a heavy burden.

  Lucy’s chest ached at the sight of him, probably because of how Kelly the server spoke about him. She said things about him that Lucy couldn’t deny, but also couldn’t say out loud. Being around Jenson again made her question the past six years she’d spent with Matthew. She’d always known she’d settled, but didn’t like being reminded of it.

  “Anything sound good?” he asked her.

  “Well, apparently the pea soup is the best in town. Maybe we should try it.”

  “Why not?”

  Kelly popped her head out from the kitchen doors. Upon seeing Jenson, she walked over to them and placed two mugs of coffee on the table in front of them. She watched Lucy warily as she took their food order.

  “I need to make a call. I’ll be right back,” Lucy told him, sliding out of the booth without waiting for a response from Jenson. She headed toward the restroom. Thankfully, no one else was inside. With trembling hands, she dialed Matthew’s number.

  For the first time in a long time, she needed to hear his voice, to hear him say he missed her, that he loved her. Anything to ground her, to help her get back to normal. She didn’t want to doubt her relationship with him, but being in such close proximity with Jenson made it so hard.

  The phone by her ear rang half a dozen times before connecting through to his voicemail. Without leaving a message, Lucy disconnected the call. Slowly, she slid down the wall, crouching to place her head between her knees. Her head swam with memories of her past, with both Matthew and Jenson; it felt as if she was drowning in them.

  She couldn’t understand why, when she had perfect recall of everything that had happened, Jenson couldn’t remember anything. Somewhere, in the deep recesses of her mind, she felt as if he was dancing around the truth. He’d told her he didn’t remember much about her. What did he mean by ‘much’?

  Washing her hands, she glanced at herself in the mirror. Her earlier desperation transformed into a steely determination in front of her very eyes and she marched back to the booth. The food was already sitting on the table, and Jenson had already begun eating. He glanced up as she slid back into her seat across from him and smiled at her.

  Lucy could almost hear her own frantic heartbeat. Leaning forward across the table, she pitched her voice low and asked a question.

  “What do you remember about me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Meg and I have been friends for ten years. You must remember something from all that time.”

  Jenson raised his eyebrows at the question. Tilting his head, he looked toward the ceiling as if searching his memories.

  “I remember that you always wore your hair in two braids. Split right down the middle, on either side of your head. You always had a splash of paint somewhere on you, usually your face.”

  “That’s right… anything else?”

  He leaned forward, looking intently into her eyes. “I remember… that you and Megan were attached at the hip.”

  Lucy smiled at his words. “Yeah, we were.”

  “How about you? What do you remember about me?” Jenson flipped the question back on her.

  “You were popular; you had friends surrounding you constantly. You were the stereotypical quarterback often depicted in teen movies.” She smiled slyly. “Your turn.”

  As he watched her, his eyes intense, he took a sip of his coffee. The tension between the two of them grew. It felt as if they were trapped in a vice together. Finally, rubbing the back of his neck, he nodded and took a deep breath.

  “The beach; I remember the trip to the cabin before I left for college. I did some stupid stuff there.”

  Lucy’s head suddenly felt as if someone had stuffed it with cotton wool, muting the sounds around them. It was as if it were filling her mouth. “Yeah… we all did.”

  “Is everything okay here, folks?” Kelly interrupted them, but neither of them responded. With a shrug of her shoulders, she left them and walked back to the kitchen. Lucy watched her from the corner of her eye until she was out of sight.

  Not sure if she believed him when he said he remembered doing stupid stuff on that trip, she decided to try and push him a little further.

  “I remember a few more things.” Unplanned and unbidden, years of doubt, rage, and frustration dripped from her words. “You were a player, a cheater. Someone who only cared about himself.”

  He took another sip of his coffee, blue eyes locked on hers. As he digested her words, his face hardened, eyes becoming icy. Without saying anything, he placed his cup back on the table, pulled his wallet out of his pocket and withdrew a couple of twenties which he dropped on the table. He stood up.

  “You’re right. That’s exactly who I am… exactly. I’m glad you understand me so well.”

  Lucy regretted her words and began to panic. “Jenson, wait. Please?” He ignored her. Without bothering to slow down or stop, he exited the diner. His long strides took him farther away from Lucy and her hurtful words.

  Jenson

  Jenson walked away f
rom Lucy, a red mist of anger settling over him. What had started out as light-hearted flirting and her finally admitting she remembered more than she’d let on soon turned into her calling him out as if he were the same person from six years ago. He was a damn foolish kid then who had been put up on a pedestal because he could catch a football. Yeah, he’d lapped it up, but it didn’t mean he’d always liked it. It had all been an act, his way of keeping up appearances, putting on a show that was expected of him by his friends and teammates.

  Knowing Lucy had seen him as a ‘player’ back when they were kids shouldn’t hurt as much as it did; she’d told his as much after their night on the beach. Thinking back, he couldn’t particularly blame her, but it still stung to hear her say it out loud now as adults. Especially as they’d been getting on so well. He had hoped they could end the trip as friends rather than barely speaking to each other. Clearly, he was wrong.

  Did she think he was still like that? He honestly hoped she, or anyone else, didn’t. Since his injury, Jenson liked to think he’d changed and grown up to become someone more than a letterman jacket. Girls still flirted with him, but he was powerless to stop that, plus, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the attention at times. But he hadn’t seen much of Lucy in six years to show her how much he’d changed.

  Ignoring the sound of her calling after him, he left the diner. The moment he was outside, he took in a large lungful of cool air in the hopes it would calm him down. It did, but Jenson couldn’t push aside the hurt at her words. Even though she’d spoken them in the past tense, he’d got the impression that was how she still saw him.

  Although his initial anger wore off as he climbed into his car, the hurt was still there. By the time she joined him, he’d decided it was best they didn’t speak for a few hours until he could trust himself not to say something which would make her feel the way he did at that precise moment. He started the engine, allowing the low rumble to wash over him as Lucy caught up with him and climbed into the car.

  By the time Lucy caught up with him, Jenson was already in the car with the engine running. He didn’t even acknowledge her when she got in, thrumming his fingers on the wheel in impatience.

  Lucy knew she’d messed up, but she’d been so angry at herself. Spending more time with him over the past couple of days than she had in the last six years had dredged up so many memories and feelings. She hadn’t liked the way she’d forgotten about Matthew; it was as if being in close proximity to Jenson Phillips had made her want to be single again, and the guilt had made her snap.

  They’d been getting on so well, and she’d felt they’d understood one another so much more, especially after the previous evening, but she had to ruin it all. She needed to work out how to fix things. She also couldn’t wait until they weren’t trapped together in his car for hours on end.

  “Jenson… about earlier, I’m-”

  Picking up her iPod from the cup holder, Jenson handed it to her before pulling the car out of the parking space. “I’m really not in the mood to talk. Keep yourself busy, please.”

  Lucy placed the earbuds in her ears and pressed play on the audiobook she’d been listening to. Regret churned in her stomach, making her feel nauseous. Closing her eyes, she hoped the soothing voice of the narrator would lull her to sleep, making the journey to Boston pass that much quicker.

  As she was lost in the adventures of Princess Buttercup, something startled Lucy back to the present; the car was slowing down, steadily losing speed. She looked out of the window, trying to pinpoint a reason to why they were stopping. There was nothing but pitch black and a two-lane highway lit up by the headlamps. They were in the middle of nowhere and Lucy hadn’t realized how much time had passed since they’d stopped for an early dinner.

  “What are you doing? Please don’t tell me you’re stopping for a restroom break.” Even as she spoke, Lucy realized that it didn’t feel like a controlled stop. The car was gradually slowing down of its own accord. “We ran out of gas, didn’t we?”

  Jenson’s face was unreadable in the dark as he steered them off the highway, putting it into park. Grabbing a jacket from the back seat, he turned to her for the first time since they were in the diner.

  “I filled up less than six hours ago.”

  “This car is older than both of us combined. It’s clear that its time is up and now we’re stranded.”

  As he popped open the hood, Jenson merely grunted in response. Pulling out his cell phone, he turned on the flashlight function. “Something’s wrong, but it’s too dark to see what.”

  Both of them got out of the car. Lucy joined Jenson as he peered into the engine. In the darkness, all she could make out were lumps of metal, not that her perception would have been different in daylight, if she were being honest.

  “Shit. There’s no cell service. I can’t make any calls.”

  Lucy checked her phone, saw she had the same problem, and groaned.

  “What are we going to do?”

  “You’re getting back into the car while I go and try to find some help.”

  The thought of him leaving her alone, in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere with a dead car and no cell service, while he tried to find help filled her with dread.

  “Wouldn’t it be smarter if we both stayed here with the car? We have no idea where the nearest town is, and we can flag down the next passing car.” Her voice was verging on frantic.

  “What car? We’ve been on this road for hours, and I’ve seen maybe two cars pass us the other way. I doubt we’ll see anyone until morning, and even then, we don’t know if they’ll stop for us. I’ll have better luck trying to find a phone booth. You stay put and lock the doors.”

  “Like hell I’m staying here alone. I’m coming with you.” As Lucy waited for him to argue with her, Jenson took a deep breath.

  “Fine.”

  She was surprised he didn’t put up more of a fight. She’d imagined he’d try to talk her into staying by telling her how dangerous it was going to be.

  “I’m heading out. Hurry up.”

  Quickly, Lucy grabbed her jacket as Jenson locked up the car. Once she had her jacket on, she jogged to catch up to Jenson and the two of them fell into step and walked along the shoulder of the highway.

  “Where are we? How close are we to the next town?”

  “Iowa.”

  His naming the state wasn’t exactly helpful.

  “Has this ever happened to you before?”

  “No.”

  “And you’re sure we’re not out of gas?”

  “Yes.”

  His one-word answers were getting tiring and Lucy was beginning to get frustrated with him. “How do you know? The gauge is broken.”

  He didn’t respond.

  “Do you know how long it’s going to take to get the car fixed?”

  “No idea.”

  “Well, what do you know?” Lucy snapped at him, frustration turning into anger.

  “I know my car.”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

  Jenson stopped dead in his tracks, turning to look Lucy in the eye. “Do you have a problem?”

  “Yeah, actually. I do. I’m supposed to be at my best friend’s bachelorette party in two days, and you’re giving me the cold shoulder, saying crap like ‘I know my car’.”

  He laughed under his breath as he pressed his fingers against his closed eyes. “What do you want me to say Lucy? What?”

  “I don’t know, but I would appreciate a real fucking answer.”

  Jenson’s temper snapped. He snatched up a rock, hurling it into the trees on the side of the highway. The resulting crack of it hitting something echoed through the dark night. His normally confident and easy demeanor disappeared as he whirled round to face her.

  “It’s my fault; is that what you want me to say? That it’s my fucking fault?”

  Lucy’s eyes filled with tears as frustration, guilt, and regret filled her entire body. She was angry, but she couldn�
�t bear to see him hurt and out of control. “No. That isn’t it at all.”

  “I should never have agreed to this; I should have said no.” The moment the words left him, Jenson’s eyes widened and his face twisted with guilt.

  “Agreed to what?”

  “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

  “No. What did you agree to, Jenson?” He remained silent, staring at a shadowy tree. Realization slowly dawned on her. “Megan talked you into this trip, didn’t she? You don’t want to be here anymore than I do. The fact is… well, at least we’re on the same page.”

  Maybe that’s why this trip has been a nightmare since we set out. Neither of us wants to be here. Lucy’s thoughts filled her with a chill, and she wrapped her arms around herself, bracing against a wave of emotion.

  Jenson moved closer to her. “Lucy, look… I’m frustrated and scared too, but we’re in this together.”

  “I know,” she answered him after a while.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you.” Taking off his heavy jacket, he draped it around her shoulders, despite her having her own light jacket on already. The jacket was still warm, and Lucy couldn’t help but inhale his scent covering it. He stepped in front of her shivering body and gently pulled the zipper up to her chin. “I’m really sorry, Lucy.”

  She wondered if he was only apologizing for losing his temper. It sounded to her as if he wanted to say so much more; he sounded like he was carrying the weight and responsibility of the world on his shoulders.

  What happened to you, Jenson? What made you like this, or have you always been this way and I never noticed? Lucy couldn’t stop questioning him in her thoughts.

  His hand still rested on the zipper, his thumb by her chin. He was close enough that she could feel his warm breath tickling her hair. It was so cold, and Lucy shivered, despite the warmth of his jacket over her own. Without thinking, Lucy stepped closer into the heat being thrown off by him, and pressed her cheek against his solid chest, hearing the strong beating of his heart behind his ribs.