Her Best Friend’s Brother

by Feeney, M. B.

  She just hoped she wasn’t about to ruin her best friend’s wedding.

  She headed back downstairs, finding Matthew sitting alone in a corner of the ballroom.

  “There you are! What’s going on? I tried to talk to Megan, but she said you’d fill me in. Is she okay? She looks like she’s been crying.”

  Although she could hear the worry in his voice, she couldn’t deal with his questions right there and then. Taking a deep breath, Lucy looked Matthew in the eye.

  “Can we talk privately?” Her voice was quiet. Lucy hated herself for what she was about to do. What she needed to do.

  “Okay?” He followed her out of the ballroom.

  Finding the patio garden, Lucy sat on a bench in a small alcove and waited for Matthew to catch up with her. He was quiet as he joined her, his face pale and serious as if he knew something was really wrong between them. Lucy took his hands between hers and closed her eyes, suddenly remembering him at twelve years old. He was the same boy who’d insisted on walking her to class every day in middle school, offering to carry her things, opening the door to all of her classes. All because he was kind and sweet, and he loved her. She needed to tell him what happened.

  “Matthew-” She knew she was going to hurt him so much. He got down on his knees in front of her, still holding her hands. Lucy realized he looked almost scared.

  “What is it, Lucy? What’s happened?”

  “I… I broke up with you three days ago.” She felt heartless just blurting it out, but now was the time for her to be completely honest with Matthew.

  “What? I don’t understand. Lucy-”

  “I sent you a text after you told me you couldn’t come to the wedding. Yeah, it was a coward’s way to do it. I was so angry but didn’t want to phone you back. I thought you received it, but I dropped my phone in water, and it mustn’t have gone through. I thought-”

  “Is it because of the job? Is that why?”

  “No. This isn’t working. We’re not working. We haven’t for a long time, if at all. I should have told you the truth a long time ago but was too much of a coward.” They’d been friends for so long, the best of friends outside her friendship with Megan. Looking at him, Lucy tried to find the right words, expecting to see more hurt and confusion in his face. Instead, all she saw was pained resignation.

  “I know.” Lucy muffled a sob with a hand, staring down at the other squeezed tightly around his. “Expecting you to follow me as I concentrated on my career was dumb of me. I was stifling you and your art. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t bear to let you go. I was selfish. Keeping you by my side was what I always wanted, but it didn’t mean it was right.”

  “I’m sorry too. I should never have broken up with you in such a careless way. I should have-”

  “Lucy, it’s fine. You don’t need to apologize.”

  “I’ve always loved you, Matthew. I need you to know that. It just wasn’t the way you wanted me to.” Something she’d always felt guilty about but tried to ignore for far too long.

  Matthew sat back on the bench next to her, his body familiar and comforting against hers. “I think, if I’m honest with myself, I’ve always known that, even from the day we first started dating. I hoped as time went on, you’d grow to love me the way I loved you, but… I held on too long, even when I knew we were going both in different directions. I only hope that it’s not too late to be friends and that you’ll be happy.” His words made Lucy’s heart sing sadly. She’d never imagined not having Matthew in her life if they weren’t a couple. He’d always been there, and she wanted it to stay that way. Maybe it was selfish of her, but she couldn’t help it.

  “Of course we’ll be friends. Always. You’ve always been one of my best friends. I wanted it to work between us, honestly I did, and I’m so sorry it didn’t.” Lucy’s smile felt bittersweet as she leaned her head on his shoulder while he wrapped an arm around her.

  The two of them stayed that way for almost half an hour, mourning the end of their relationship. They may have no longer been a part of one another’s future, but they shared a past, and most of it was good. It was finally time to let go.

  * * *

  Once the sun started dipping low, casting oranges and reds across the hotel grounds, Lucy knocked on the door to Megan’s bridal suite. Matthew had left, catching a flight back to California. She was sad to see him not stay for the wedding but understood why he felt he couldn’t. Ever since then, she’d been trying to reach Jenson. He hadn’t answered any of her calls or texts. She tried his room again, but he wasn’t there. It was clear he was avoiding her, and she was unsure what to do.

  The door to the suite opened, revealing her best friend, her eyes puffy and swollen.

  “Oh, Meg. Are you okay? Can we talk?” Megan shrugged as she looked at Lucy’s tired face. She turned around to return into the room, the open door the only invitation needed for Lucy to follow. With the surrounding floor covered in screwed up tissues, Megan crawled under the rumpled bed covers. Just like old times, Lucy kicked off her shoes and crawled in beside her, leaning her head on Megan’s shoulder.

  Guilt washed off Lucy as she realized she was part of the reason her best friend was hiding in her room the night before her wedding, crying her heart out. She hated how selfish and how much of a shitty friend she’d been the past few hours. She should have been there for Megan when she found out the truth about her dad, not sleeping with her brother.

  “I hope I can fix things between us.” She spoke softly, unsure how Megan would react. “I’m so sorry, Meg. About everything.”

  Megan squeezed her eyes shut, reaching for another tissue, which Lucy immediately handed to her.

  “My dad isn’t coming to my wedding, won’t see me marry Elliott and us starting our lives together.” She sniffed through her words. “Jenson’s walking me down the aisle and giving me away.”

  Ever since they were little girls, all Megan had ever wanted was a big fairy tale wedding which included her father proudly giving her away. Patting at her puffy eyes, she turned to look at Lucy. She didn’t look angry – just heartbroken. “Everyone thinks Jenson’s unbreakable, but he’s not. All this with Dad has really got to him.”

  Lucy nodded, tears and guilt causing her voice to choke. “I went to his room, but he’s not there. I’ve tried calling-”

  Megan suddenly threw the covers from her body, sitting up to glare at Lucy. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why is everyone keeping secrets from me?” She stood up, anger flushing her face red while tears glittered at the corner of her eyes. It was the talk Lucy had been dreading and it was worse than she had ever imagined, but it was time to own up to her mistakes.

  “I’m sorry, Megan. I should have said something, but it was your wedding, your big day, and I didn’t want to take anything away from you.”

  “That’s bullshit!” Lucy winced at Megan’s angry tone and pulled her knees up to her chest. “You didn’t tell me because you were scared.”

  “You’re right. I was scared, still am. But that wasn’t the only reason. Keeping quiet was essential to me because my feelings were so big, so intense. It was all happening so fast.” Which was a little lie considering Lucy had always had feelings for Jenson.

  “You think I can’t handle big? I’m a fucking adult, Lucy. Things happen. Don’t you think I know that?”

  “I didn’t want to share what was happening with Jenson, not even with you, Meg. Once I shared it with anyone, it would have made it real, something tangible that would have needed to be addressed.”

  It was the honest truth; Lucy was scared at how intense her feelings for Jenson were, and keeping things just between them was a way to protect herself from being hurt by him again. Telling Megan, or anyone, would have made the whole thing real. If things went south, it would mean dealing with the fallout publicly.

  Tears blurred her vision as she felt Megan sit back on the bed next to her. Gently, her hands brushed the hair from Lucy’s face.

  “Do you love him
?” her friend asked, her voice quiet.

  “Yes, I do. I love him so much.”

  Megan pulled her into a tight embrace, her hands stroking her back and hair. Lucy sobbed into Megan’s shoulder, relieved by her forgiveness and acceptance; she wondered what she did to deserve Megan as a friend. Her friend was the one having her wedding ruined, yet there she was, supporting and comforting Lucy.

  Megan drew back to look Lucy in the face. “I’m still upset at you, you know.” There was a hint of a smile, but Lucy didn’t take much stock of it.

  “I know, and I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust.”

  “I told you to never hide anything from me. Even things like this… No, especially things like this. Tell me what happened. I’m guessing it all started during the trip with Jenson.” Megan made herself comfortable, the way they used to after one of them went on a date in high school.

  “No… it started at the cabin.”

  Megan gasped and pulled away as realization showed on her face. She stared at Lucy in shock. “The trip where I got sick? Right before you started dating Matthew?” Lucy could only nod. “This makes so much more sense now. After that trip, you always got so tense around him when he was home from college, and he’d- Oh! That explains so much now.”

  “I was too scared to tell you back then, but before things got any further than a kiss or two, we had a misunderstanding.”

  Megan’s eyebrow raised in question. “Must have been some misunderstanding.”

  “Yeah…”

  “I should have read the signs back then. I kind of understand why you didn’t want to tell me; I had a pretty big chip on my shoulder when it came to him and the way girls acted around him and me. I’m different now. We’re all past that.” She paused. “I know Jenson better than he thinks. It hurt him when Matthew showed up.” Megan squeezed her hands, her face and voice solemn. “You have to tell him how you feel. You have to tell him the truth.”

  Lucy nodded, her eyes swimming with tears. “I know. I will… if he gives me a chance.”

  Jenson

  Seeing Lucy and that idiot Matthew sitting outside, heads together and holding hands, was painful for Jenson. He knew they needed to talk after Matthew showed up for the wedding unannounced, but it still hurt. Deep down, he knew he was acting like a petulant teenager who had been stood up, but everything was piling up on him.

  He’d never expected his dad to drop his bombshell the way he did and not show at Megan’s wedding. More than anything, he’d hoped his parents could put aside what was happening between them for one day at least, but no, his dad had to be a selfish ass and ruin the day for Megan as well as him and his mom. Jenson would never forgive him for that.

  Walking through the secret garden where the party had taken place – and where the wedding would be held – he wondered where his mom was. He knew he should be with her, but first he needed to get his own emotions about Lucy in check. There was no way he’d be able to comfort and support his mom if his own life was a mess.

  The last thing he’d expected to happen during their road trip was to develop feelings for Lucy Duncan. Well, not develop as they’d always been there, as much as he’d tried to ignore them, but to have them grow stronger.

  “Jenson? Are you out here?” His mom’s voice sounded from behind him.

  “Yeah, Mom. I’m here.” Standing, he plastered a smile onto his face that he knew looked as fake as it felt.

  “How are you feeling, honey?” she asked as they sat down on the stone bench Jenson had just stood up from.

  “Me? Don’t worry about me, Mom. You’re the one who’s been… betrayed, I guess.”

  “Jenson, I love that you’re worried about me, but I’m fine – or at least I will be. This… situation with your dad isn’t much of a surprise to me.” She held her hand up to stop him interrupting her. “Your father and I haven’t been happy for a couple of years now, especially since you and your sister moved out.”

  “But you seemed so upset about the idea of him having an affair.”

  “It wasn’t the affair that upset me, it was his lying to me about it. That and the thought that he would have brought her to your sister’s wedding when it’s a family and close friend occasion.”

  Jenson was speechless. The last thing he’d ever expected to hear was his mom being okay with his dad having an affair. He’d always assumed their marriage was rock solid, and they were still the ridiculously happy couple they’d always been when he was growing up.

  “So, his not turning up..?”

  “It wasn’t his choice. He refused to leave the new woman in his life behind, but I told him not to bother coming if he couldn’t come alone. There was no way I was going to let him embarrass me and your sister like that.”

  Still more than a little dumbstruck by his mom’s admission, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pride flowing through him. Only his mom would put her marriage to one side for the sake of Megan’s feelings. They sat in silence for a while, admiring the garden and enjoying the warm weather. Eventually, his mom pulled out from his embrace and looked him dead in the eye.

  “So… you and Lucy Duncan, huh?”

  The morning of the wedding passed by in a flurry of hair, nail, and make-up preparations. With Betty’s help, Lucy’s dress fitted perfectly, and naturally, Megan looked stunning in hers. Lucy hadn’t seen Jenson yet. She was sure he was with Elliot and the other guys, making sure everything was where it should be, and the groom wasn’t running away in a last-minute fit of nerves. She hated that they hadn’t spoken since before Matthew showed up to surprise her, and all she wanted to do was reassure Jenson she wasn’t going back to Matthew, that it was really over between them. That he was the one she wanted.

  Standing on the steps leading up to the arbor, alongside the other bridesmaids, opposite the groomsmen, Lucy fought not to fidget. The wedding march began, and the guests stood and turned to face the beginning of the makeshift aisle, sighing softly in unison when Megan appeared in the doorway, clutching her big brother’s arm.

  As beautiful as she looked, it was Jenson’s appearance that knocked the breath out of Lucy’s body. Dressed in his tuxedo, he escorted Megan down the aisle, his expression a mixture of pride and sadness she suspected only she could see. Lucy’s heart hurt for him having to take on the role that should have been his father’s, someone who was too selfish to be with them on such a special day. Both the Phillips siblings managed to hold their heads high, and Lucy had never been prouder of them. Tears pricked at her eyelids as she watched them walk as if gliding along the grass.

  When they reached the foot of the stairs, Jenson squeezed his sister’s hand in a transfer of strength. Lucy could see the hurt in his eyes behind his act of appearing strong; hurt she’d contributed to just as much as his father. She clutched at her posy of flowers, resisting the urge to wave at him and make a spectacle of herself.

  Jenson hugged Megan before passing her hand to the waiting, and smiling, Elliot. The two men shook hands and shared a brief, tight hug. On cue, the minister stepped forward and began proceedings by asking who was presenting the bride. Jenson cleared his throat, clasping his hands in front of his body. To most people, it looked like a formal stance befitting being at a wedding; to Lucy, it looked like he was hiding, protecting himself.

  “Her mother and I do.” As Jenson moved to stand with the groomsmen, Megan and Elliot stepped forward to recite their vows. As they spoke to one another, Lucy hoped Jenson would look up at her, but he kept his gaze on his sister and her fiancé.

  Lucy fought to pay attention, to stay present in the ceremony, but it was impossible. She hurt at his failure to acknowledge her, but didn’t blame him. She would have understood if he’d changed his mind about her, yet she couldn’t stand his silence, his pretending she didn’t exist.

  Somehow, Lucy made it through the ceremony, a happy expression pasted firmly to her face. She needed to keep herself together for just a little longer, needed to pose an
d smile for the photographer so Megan and Elliot had wonderful keepsakes of their memories and this special day. Once the wedding party was finally released from their photographic obligations, she saw Jenson going inside the hotel.

  She didn’t want him to disappear again. They needed to talk, even if it was only for him to tell her he was done. But she was scared of that happening, knew she couldn’t take hearing the words from him directly. She was such a coward. Alone among the crowd of strangers, all she could do was stand and watch his retreating back. Tears prickled at her eyes, and eventually, she stumbled toward the nearest restroom.

  Thankfully, it was empty. Lucy walked into the largest stall, and closed and bolted the door behind her. Sitting down, she let her tears fall. The whole situation was a mess, and most of it had been caused by her. The door to the restroom opened, and she held her breath, hoping no one heard her crying. She heard the neighboring stall door close before Megan’s head popped up over the partition.

  “Hi.” The visual of her best friend standing on top of a toilet in her wedding dress was something Lucy didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at.

  “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be having your pictures taken.”

  “We already took plenty, but I can’t carry on knowing you’re crying alone in here.” Of course Megan knew she’d hidden away to cry in private, and of course she would come to check on her during the most important day of her life.

  “But you should be with Elliot, your husband.”

  Megan shook her head firmly. “I locked the door. No one else can get in. Will you come out of the stall to talk to me?”

  “I can’t, Meg. I don’t know how to talk to you about this. He’s your brother…”

  “Wouldn’t I be one of the best people to ask for advice, then? Come out. I know you don’t want to talk, but I don’t want my dress to dip into the toilet bowl. And, it will eventually because I’m not leaving here without you.”