Bad Boys Break Hearts

by Smeltzer, Micalea

  I tilt my head back smiling up at him. “How about that?”

  I take in the artist on stage, humming along to the music as Mascen and I sway back and forth.

  I was skeptical but this might be the best surprise ever.

  * * *

  After the concert Mascen had plans to take me to a fancy dinner to countdown the new year, but I told him I’d rather go to a diner for fries and a milkshake.

  “You really wanted this over a five-star meal?”

  I dunk a fry into ketchup. “This is a five star meal to me.”

  “You’re a strange breed, Princess.” I shrug, sipping my chocolate shake. He narrows his eyes on the cup in my hand. “You better not throw ice cream at me today.” He picks up his shake and winks, tipping the Styrofoam cup in my direction.

  “Me? Never.”

  Across the room the countdown to midnight plays on the TV.

  Mascen bites into his cheeseburger, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “You know, I have to agree with you, this is better than what I had planned.”

  “Nothing beats hometown diner food.” Picking up a fry, I twirl it between my fingers. “Do you ever make New Year’s resolutions?”

  He shakes his head. “Fuck no. There’s nothing I purposely want to change about myself, we all grow and change anyway, and anything I want to accomplish I don’t need a new year to help me do it.”

  “Hmm,” I hum. “I never thought about it that way.”

  “Do you make resolutions then?”

  “I never have, but I just never gave it much thought. If you were going to make one what would it be?”

  He thinks for a moment, truly pondering his answer. “I guess to be more conscious of the things I say and how they can affect people. Your turn.”

  This time I have to take a minute to think through my answer. “To forgive my mom,” I whisper so softly I’m surprised he can hear me, but I know he does from the widening of his eyes. “For me, not her. I guess that’s not what a resolution is supposed to be, but…” I trail off, not sure what else to say.

  Mascen stares across the table at me, his normally sharp eyes suddenly soft. “I don’t think there are any rules when it comes to a resolution, Princess.”

  On the TV the countdown begins, the chants of the seconds being echoed by other patrons in the diner.

  Lifting my shake, I say, “To moving on.”

  “To moving on,” he echoes, smacking our cups together.

  In the same moment we lean across the table just as the clock strikes midnight, sealing the vow, and starting the year with a kiss.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Mascen

  I knew this day was coming, the one where Rory would have to return to her dorm for good and classes would resume, and we’d be forced to go back to a life where things are normal.

  “Do you have to go?” I wrap my arms around her from behind as she zips up her bag. Cole is supposed to return tomorrow morning so Rory insisted on heading back to her dorm this afternoon to get settled.

  “Yes,” she giggles, wiggling out of my hold. She turns around, the back of her legs resting against the bed. “If you keep whining about me leaving I’m going to start thinking you like me.” She pokes my chest.

  I grab her finger, biting it playfully. “Nope, definitely still hate.” I kiss the outside part of her hand.

  “I hate you too.” She reaches up, snatching my baseball cap and planting it on her head backwards.

  “I could have lice you know.”

  “I’ve had your dick in my mouth. I think I’ll take my chances.”

  “Stay longer,” I beg pathetically. “We can order pizza or I’ll make dinner if you want and then you go home.”

  She shakes her head. “Li’s coming back tonight and I don’t want her to be alone.”

  “Fine.”

  Hoisting her bag on her shoulder she reaches for my collar and tugs on it. “Don’t worry by tonight you’ll realize what an annoying pain in the ass I am and never speak to me again.”

  “It’s possible,” I agree.

  “Hey.” She playfully swats at me. “That was only a joke.”

  Squeezing her waist in my hands I bend down to kiss her cheek. “You better leave before I change my mind on letting you go.”

  She rolls her eyes and pushes my shoulder. “It’s cute you think you can tell me what to do.”

  I take a step back from her, watching her head to the bedroom door. An ache fills me I’ve never experienced before as I follow her downstairs and then out to her truck. The old rickety thing looks like it needs to be in a junkyard, not on the road, but I tried telling her that and she nearly chewed my head off.

  She opens the door and it groans in protest like a cranky old man getting woken up from a nap. She tosses her bag on the passenger seat and turns around to face me.

  “Where do we go with things from here?” Her lower lip starts to tremble like she might cry. She bites down on it clearly not wanting to let her emotions get the best of her.

  We’ve been avoiding this topic the entire time. Both of us too scared to put a label on things.

  I stuff my hands in my pockets, lifting my shoulders slightly.

  “I don’t really know. I guess take it a day at a time and see what happens.”

  She nods in agreement. “I hate you for making me feel like this.”

  I reach out, twirling a piece of her shiny dark hair around my finger. It’s soft and smooth. “Yeah, well I hate you for it too, Princess. I guess that makes us even.” I wink at her and let the piece of hair go.

  “I have to leave,” she says more for herself than me.

  “I know.”

  “I don’t want to.” Her voice is soft, like she doesn’t want to give volume to her incriminating words.

  “I know.”

  “Stop!” She breaks into laughter.

  I grab her face between my hands kissing her deeply but keeping it short before I haul her over my shoulder and convince her to go home in the morning.

  “See you later, Princess.”

  “Promise?”

  I nod, taking a couple steps back as she gets in the truck. She gives a small wave before putting it in reverse and backing out.

  I stand on the driveway until her truck is gone from my sight.

  Fuck, it’s harder watching her go than I thought it’d be.

  Back inside the first thing I do is schedule a pizza to be delivered later for her and her roommate. I’m fucking whipped and I don’t know how it happened.

  I throw my sheets in the washer and put a clean set on, then wander around the townhouse picking up shit and trying to get things back in decent order. I’ve never been able to tolerate trash lying around and things out of order.

  Flopping down on the couch once I feel like the place is clean, I grab the controller for the Xbox and start playing

  Twenty or so minutes later I hear the garage door go up. Pausing the game, I get up, looking out the window to see Cole’s car parked in the driveway. My heart drops and I say a prayer that Rory did insist on going back to her dorm today.

  The door leading up from the garage opens and Cole steps inside dropping his bag on the floor.

  “Hey, man,” I greet, more pep in my voice than usual. I hope he doesn’t notice the forced sound. “You came home early.”

  “Yep.” His tone is somber, face angled to the floor.

  “Did something happen?” The way he’s acting I’m wondering if someone died or some shit, but if that were the case I wouldn’t think he’d be returning home early.

  He nods, eyes still downcast, and I’m starting to actually get concerned. “Yeah.” He rolls his tongue in his mouth. “I think I lost a friend today.” The goldish-brown hue of his eyes is glossed over. There’s a pissed off set to his lips that I’ve only ever seen him wear on the basketball court.

  “What the fuck, dude? What happened?”

  He cocks his head to the side. “You’re seriously gonna play dum
b with me right now?” He shakes his head back and forth, a coarse laugh filled with disbelief sputtering out of him.

  “I’m not playing dumb, I’m fucking concerned.”

  “Concerned? Concerned?” He thunders, suddenly right in my face. The vein in his forehead pulses. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this pissed off. “Are you for real right now?” He shakes his head harshly, turning away.

  “I literally have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.”

  He stands there, fists clenched at his sides staring at me. “You really don’t do you?” He looks shocked by the revelation.

  “How could I possibly know what you’re talking about?” I try to keep my tone calm and neutral.

  He takes a measured step closer. “Rory.”

  My heart drops. “What about her?”

  “Fuck, man.” He looks away for a second before getting in my face. “Don’t play dumb with me. I saw her truck here.”

  I’ve always been good at lying, probably a little too good, so I blurt, “She was picking up something here that she realized she left.”

  Cole cocks his head to the side, laughing incredulously. “You son of a bitch. You really think you’re slick and can get away with anything. The great Mascen Wade is untouchable.” He spreads his arms wide. “I saw you kiss her.”

  Ice slithers down my spine and I grind my teeth together.

  “Nothing to say now?” He arches a brow. “No words of defense?” I stand there, letting him say what he needs to. “You know what the worst part is? I’m not even surprised you’d move in on her. This is just who you are and I should’ve known one of these days your dickish behavior would turn to me. You sabotage yourself every step of the way and that’s the real reason you’re such a selfish bastard—because it’s easier to ruin things and blame it on that than to be a goddamn decent human being and maybe someone just doesn’t like you. You want everyone to hate you and I’ve been nothing but a good fucking friend to you.” He takes a couple steps back and bends to pick up his bag. “I hope you’re happy.”

  I don’t say anything as he heads up the stairs. I don’t defend myself, or explain my past with Rory, my feelings for her, or how conflicted I’ve been over them because of him. I just let him go, because all he’s said is true. I am an asshole, one who brings this upon himself. I don’t deserve friends and I certainly don’t deserve Rory.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Rory

  Li gets back to the dorm shortly after I do and after we both unpack we decide to put on a movie for background noise and catch up.

  “I miss home but it’s so good to be back.” She grabs one of the throw pillows from the couch and clutches it against her. “I don’t have my mom breathing down my neck. God love her, but it’s nice to have some independence. How’d things go with Mascen?”

  Instantly heat rushes to my cheeks. “Um, really well.”

  “That’s it?” She punches my arm playfully. “You’re always so secretive.”

  “It was … nice. Better than nice, actually. We hung out around his place, did some things, I worked some evenings, there’s really not a lot to tell.”

  “But how do you feel about him? Did being alone with him reinforce feelings or are you back to hating him?”

  “Things started off rocky, I don’t think either of us expected to run into each other here, I mean, I know we didn’t, but now it feels like we’ve always been this way. It’s easy. And isn’t that how things should be? As easy as breathing?”

  Li smiles widely and reaches over to squeeze my hand. “I’m so happy for you. You deserve this. You’re so much more lively and vibrant than when classes first started. It’s like there’s a light in you now that didn’t used to be there. And I’m not saying you need a guy to find that light or to be happy, but I think he awakened something in you that you forgot was there.”

  “Maybe,” I agree, afraid to give him too much credit. “Being with him is better than I expected. I never thought this would happen, not the way things were in the beginning, but we click. He’s so different once you get to know him. He puts on this front, but God Li, he’s just … he has a good heart, you know?”

  Li smiles, releasing a theatric dreamy sigh. “Let me know where I can find a guy like that.”

  I sigh, feeling a pang in my chest. “Cole’s a good guy. I know I hurt him.”

  “You didn’t mean to.”

  “Even if I didn’t mean to it doesn’t mean I didn’t. He deserved better.”

  “You can’t force yourself to have feelings for someone. They’re either there or not. You and Mascen had chemistry from the get-go and I know you liked Cole, but I don’t think your feelings ever moved past those of friendship.”

  I shake my head. “They didn’t but I still feel bad.”

  “I think it’s human to feel bad when you know you’ve hurt someone even unintentionally.”

  A knock on the door ends our conversation and we both exchange a look, wondering who could be there.

  “Mascen?” she asks, pointing over her shoulder at the door.

  “I don’t think so.”

  I get up and go answer the door, finding a pizza delivery guy on the other side. “Oh, hi,” I blurt out in surprise. “I’m sorry but we didn’t order pizza.”

  I start to shut the door but he stops me. “No, the order instructions said specifically this dorm.”

  “Oh. Are you sure?”

  He tilts his head. “Are you Princess?”

  I blush and snatch the pizza from him, closing the door with my foot. The driver cackles on the other side. I hope Mascen gave him a tip, because I’m way too embarrassed to open the door now.

  “Pizza?” Li brightens, hopping up.

  “A gift from Mascen.” The sticker on the side does indeed include instructions on where our dorm is located and says plainly; To: Princess From: Satan

  “Wow, I think I love him too.”

  My head shoots up in her direction. “I never said I love him.”

  She smiles conspiratorially and lifts the top of the box, revealing the delicious looking veggie pizza. “Girl, you don’t have to say it. I see it in your eyes.”

  “I don’t—not yet. It’s too soon.”

  She plucks a slice out of the box. “Say whatever you want but the truth is written all over your face.”

  Before I grab my own piece I text Mascen.

  Me: Thanks for the pizza, Satan.

  I don’t get an immediate reply, but it doesn’t surprise me. Grabbing two pieces for myself I settle back on the couch beside Li.

  “All I’m saying,” she struggles to speak around a mouthful, “is if a man sends you pizza, he’s a keeper.”

  * * *

  By the time I crawl into bed it’s after eleven. Stifling a yawn, I reach for my phone for the first time in hours, expecting to see at least a text from Mascen but there’s nothing.

  Me: Are you okay?

  A few minutes go by.

  Me: Mascen, you’re worrying me.

  Me: Hello?

  Me: I’m going to bed.

  Me: I hope you’re all right.

  Me: Goodnight.

  * * *

  Sunday passes without a reply back, call, or even a fucking carrier pigeon from Mascen. I’ve moved from worried to pissed off, because he’s obviously ignoring me and I don’t know why. His lack of communication is maddening. Did I do or say something wrong? Did he use me as a fuck buddy over break? None of it makes sense. The moments we spent together seemed real and genuine. It makes me sick to my stomach to think he might’ve been acting to get what he wanted.

  Li and Kenna are both in disbelief that he’s shutting me out. Li tells me to give him the benefit of the doubt, but Kenna says he’s ghosting me.

  I have no real idea what to think or feel beyond confused and hurt.

  But like a desperate fool I keep texting him.

  And to no surprise to anyone, even me, he never responds.

  Chapter For
ty-Four

  Mascen

  Two weeks back at school and things should feel normal, but they’re anything but. Even with baseball practice in full swing and Coach nearly shitting a brick over every little thing it doesn’t feel right because I’m not talking to her.

  After Cole confronted me it felt wrong to keep things going. I fucked everything up with my best friend and since I screw everything else up as well it seemed like I might as well end things with Rory too before it got too far. But instead of being a man and telling her that I’ve given her the silent treatment. I haven’t been to Marcelo’s. I haven’t even seen her on campus—purposely avoiding the areas I know I’m most likely to run into her.

  Cole isn’t speaking to me either, which means the most socialization I get is with Teddy on the random times I see him, and in class with Mallory. I deserve to suffer in solitude so I’m not complaining.

  “Wade, see me in my office after you finish.” Coach’s hand slaps down on my shoulder, surprising me. Normally I’m more aware of my surroundings but the past couple of weeks I’ve been zoning out a lot.

  I give him a chin dip in response and finish changing into my regular clothes after my shower.

  “You wanna go to the bar?” Teddy flicks his damp hair from his eyes, looking up at me as he yanks socks on.

  “Not in the mood.”

  “You never want to go out anymore,” he points out. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

  “Maybe next time.” I grab my phone and wallet from the top of my locker and stuff them both in my jeans pocket.

  “You said that the last two times.” He stands up, closing his locker.

  “Well, maybe one of these days I’ll agree. For now, no.”

  “Fine, your loss,” he shouts after me as I walk toward Coach’s office.

  I rap my knuckles against the back of Coach Meyer’s door. “Come in.”

  I push the door open and he swivels around from his desk to face me. “What the fuck was that today, Wade? Forget today, this whole goddamn week.”