Shameless: A Reverse Harem Fantasy Romance (The Carnal Court Book 3)

by Devyn Sinclair

  “Of course.” Emma loops her arm through mine as I lead her towards the stairs. I give her a quick overview of the house. The baths and the gardens, kitchen and libraries—yes, more than one—and probably a dozen rooms or more that I haven’t even explored. Given the way the house rearranges at will, I can never really be sure if I’ve seen it all. “Wait,” Emma says. “You mean the house is sentient?”

  I laugh. “Kind of, yeah.”

  “That is so fucking cool.” It’s a whisper under her breath but I still hear it.

  Up the stairs I point around the balcony. “Everyone’s rooms.”

  Emma shakes her head in disbelief. “I know that it’s not crazy, but it’s also a little crazy, you know?”

  “Welcome to my every day thought process,” I say as I lead her into my room.

  She stops. “Holy shit.”

  “I know,” I say. “Speaking of being freshly fucked do you care if I get in the bath?”

  Emma laughs and shakes her head. “Lord knows we’ve seen each other naked enough times.”

  That’s true. When you’re in the corps together, everything from dressing rooms to costume changes, there’s not a lot of room or time for modesty. After a while everyone is so close that you just don’t think about it. “Thanks.” I quickly toss the robe aside and sink into my pool with the fountains, loving the warmth of it.

  The magic-infused water lets off eddies of light, trailing behind my movement. I can’t help but notice that today those little glowing fragments are the pale green that I always imagine Aeric’s magic to be. Like hell am I going to tell him that though. If he knew that he’d fucked so much magic into me that I was literally leaking it, I’d never hear the end of it for the rest of our lives.

  I shouldn’t be surprised though. There have been several points in the last few days where I’ve been glowing with power, and I think he was a little bit too. I didn’t even think about how much magic we’ve been generating, but I’m guessing that the whole fucking house feels it. That used to bother me.

  It doesn’t anymore.

  “So,” Emma says, huge grin on her face. “Start with last night and then fill me in on everything that’s happened since you disappeared into something that looked like the Matrix.”

  She’s talking about when the shop burned. I still try not to think about it. Even though I’m fine with it, it’s probably going to be a long time before I don’t have an ache in my chest when I think about it. That was something I built from scratch, and it’ll always be precious to me for that reason. Thankfully, I have what I need. I can see the bottles of herbs and oils that I rescued before it burned. They’re on a gorgeously carved shelf that appeared one day, everything already catalogued the way I would have done it. Because the mansion is that good.

  “Well, three days ago—” I clear my throat and grab a bottle of shampoo from the side of the tub. “Aeric and I mated.”

  Emma frowns. “I thought you were already mates?”

  “We were. Are. But there’s a way to seal that bond and make it real. You have to choose it. And no, I’m not going to tell you how,” I say as soon as she opens her mouth to ask it.

  She pouts. “You’re no fun.”

  I make a face, but in a way she’s right. Nothing I’m doing with any of the guys is wrong. And even though I don’t plan on being an open sexual book to everyone, my friends can know. I need to let go of this shame and embarrassment whenever I talk about us. Especially about something that was actually incredibly beautiful. “Fine.”

  Emma has about the same reaction that I did when I heard about the ritual. She’s laughing so hard that she almost falls off my bed, and I admit that it is hilarious. But at the same time, now that I’m on the other side of it I understand why the fae treated it with such reverence. “You’re not laughing,” she says.

  “I did. When I first heard. But now…I honestly don’t know how to explain it, Emma. I can feel him right here.” I touch my chest below my heart. “It’s going to sound bitchy and condescending but I don’t think it’s something that anyone could understand unless you’ve felt it.”

  “No,” she shakes her head. “You’re right. I’m sorry for laughing.”

  I snort. “Don’t be. When I heard I could barely keep my shit together. But I guess it’s not the same in every court, but the main common denominator is that it’s a selfless act between the two people.”

  “And you need to do this…four more times?”

  Before I answer, I duck under the water and rinse the soap from my hair. “I wish that were an easier question,” I say while I swipe the water from my eyes.

  Emma smirks, stretching out on the bed and doing the ballet repetitions that we all used to do in the corps—probably without even realizing she’s doing it. That’s how deeply those were drilled into us. “Which part tripped you up.”

  “Well,” I say, wringing the water from my hair and grabbing a sponge to quickly wash the rest of me. “Kent isn’t Fae. So I don’t know if there’s a way to create the same bond with him. And turns out I have one more Fae mate, who tried to kill me and is under the influence of the evil bitch who’s after me.”

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “Yeah,” I laugh. “Tell me about it. This would be the part where I fill you in on the rest of it.”

  I dry myself off and dress while I tell her all of it. When she tells all of this to Odette—and she will—I can’t even imagine the commentary that she’s going to add. When I finish, she’s quiet. “Now I get why you were asking if it’s safe for me to be here.”

  That creeping anxiety coils across my limbs like a snake—I can’t help it. I don’t even know what to say to that, because I’m wondering that too. But as long as she’s here, and at home, she’ll be safe. And Ariana has no reason to go after Emma if I show up at that rendezvous, and I’m going to be there.

  “It seemed like it when you were in New York, but I didn’t really get the chance to ask. Even with everything that’s happening…are you happy?”

  I sit down beside her on the bed and lean my shoulder on hers. “Yeah, I am. It’s nothing that I ever would have thought I wanted. And ninety-eight percent of the fucking time it all feels impossible. But I love them.”

  “I guess that’s worth missing you, then.” She’s trying to hide the emotion in her voice, but she can’t.

  I hug her as best as I can the way I’m beside her, and she hugs me back. “I’m not dead.”

  She laughs. “I know, but it’s not going to be the same.”

  “If you think that after this is all over I’m not coming to New York to bug your ass, see your shows, and get some decent fucking pizza, you’re crazy.”

  Emma laughs, falling back on the bed. “Are you serious? They don’t have pizza here?”

  “I’m sure the house would make me some, but I haven’t seen any pizza joints in the markets around here.”

  She smirks. “Guess Allwyn doesn’t have everything.”

  “Not everything. Do you have rehearsal today?”

  “Day off today. Full run of Giselle tomorrow though.”

  I wince. “Ugh. Make sure to stretch your feet tonight and in the morning.”

  “I’m planning on it.” Emma is playing Myrtha, queen of the maiden spirits. It’s not an easy role either. “Is there some kind of jacked up time shit between earth and Allwyn that I have to worry about so that I need to leave before I’m gone for a week?”

  “Not that I know of, thankfully. That would get old fucking fast.”

  She hops off the bed, practically bouncing. “Good. Makes scheduling easier too. I want to come back as soon as I can.”

  I give her a look. “There’s an invisible ‘but’ in that sentence.”

  Wandering over to my bookshelf, she runs her fingers over a picture frame sitting on it. It’s of her, Odette, and I, back when we were all baby ballerinas in the corps. We’re dressed in flowing Arabian costumes from Le Corsaire. Probably one of my least favorite ball
ets, but with them it was always fun. “But, I need to go because I have a date tonight.”

  “Okay, wait,” I say standing. “You should have led with that! Who? Please tell me it’s not Peter. I know he’s hot, but that man is not worth it, Emma.” Peter is one of the principals in the ballet company, and Emma had a crush on him for years. He’s hot as sin, but also an idiot and kind of a pig.

  She smiles, but it’s in a soft way that I’ve never seen before. “It’s not Peter. It’s not anyone from the company, actually.”

  I gasp in mock drama. “You dare to date outside the ballet world?! How dare you.”

  “You can laugh but there were a couple of girls who reacted that way.”

  “I don’t doubt it.” Ballet people can be picky about almost everything, including thinking that no one outside of the world of dance could possibly understand the demands of being a dancer. But I never bought into it, and the few relationships I had while I was still dancing were always with people who were as far from dancers as you could get. “I’m happy for you. First date?”

  She shakes her head. “No. Third date.”

  “Oh my god, woman. You’re telling me you have to get ready to go have sex and I’m keeping you here?” I playfully grab her arm and pull her down the stairs while she laughs. “The way you pressure me for details about my sex life, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

  “I know,” Emma says. “But he’s different. And I’m not sure where it’s going yet.”

  I look her straight in the eyes. “If he hurts you, I’ll kill him. So will Odette. Make sure he knows that.”

  Emma makes a face. “I’m not so sure that it will come up.”

  “I could send one of the guys to make sure the point hits home,” I say, pulling her into a hug.

  She makes her face but her eyes are laughing. “Please don’t. I don’t need your tall, devastatingly handsome men intimidating my date.”

  “Oh fine. But will you tell me how it goes?”

  “How?”

  I shrug. “I’m learning magic. I’ll have one of the guys teach me to create a magical phone call. Or a magical wifi network.”

  “Sounds good.” Emma hugs me again. “I really do miss you,” she says softly. “Please be careful.”

  “We’re always careful,” Aeric says from behind me.

  Emma shakes her head and rolls her eyes, and I give him a look. “I told you guys that that sentiment isn’t comforting.”

  His amusement plays through the bond like a trickle of playful warmth. “I know.” He focuses on Emma. “Will you allow me to transport you home?”

  “Of course.”

  We hug one more time, giving in to our hug competition before she waves goodbye. I don’t miss the glassy eyes that she tries to hide. She’s a badass, and strong, but I think she’s lonely right now. With me here in Allwyn and Odette rehearsing straight through the day, I can imagine she feels a little isolated. I’m glad she has a date, and that it was safe enough to bring her here. It was something that we both needed.

  I walk back toward my bedroom, and walk into the courtyard to find Kent, Verys, and Urien talking. But they stop when I walk in. Kent smiles. “Emma leave?”

  That’s not his real smile.

  “Yeah. What’s going on?” Over the last few days I’ve noticed this. They’ve been cagey and are working together to make sure I don’t ask the questions that are about to burst.

  “Nothing,” Verys says quickly. “Just filling Urien in on New York.”

  I look at them each in turn. It’s clearly not that, and they’re clearly acting weird. Kent sighs and looks at them. “We agreed to tell her.”

  Immediately I’m on guard. “Tell me what?”

  Behind me, Brae’s voice is quiet. “About the deliveries.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ________

  KARI

  “Show me.”

  Brae shakes his head. “Everything is gone. We destroyed it in case there were any curses or invasive magic attached. And trust me when I say that you wouldn’t want to see.”

  I feel sick. Anger like poison spreading with every heartbeat. Over the last few weeks, I’ve tried to put myself in Ariana’s shoes, if only for a moment so that I could try to understand where she might be coming from. What possible reason that she could have for attacking and fixating on me—and now my mates.

  But I’ve got fucking nothing. Who does this? I can’t comprehend the kind of person that sends messages of death, and beyond that, the careless way she treats others and their lives. Five fae have been damaged permanently by her ambition—whatever that is—and from what I’ve seen with Kiaran those fae might not even be in their right mind.

  “Can we send a message?” I ask. “Tell her we plan on meeting her so that she’ll stop?”

  “Where would we send it?” Kent asks. “And I don’t like the idea of us admitting to anything beforehand. It puts us in a bad position.”

  “We’re already in a bad position,” I snap. “And I don’t want bodies to be the next thing that show up on our doorstep. Ariana is a psychopath, and I know I’m not responsible for her actions, but I don’t want blood on my hands because there was something easy that we just didn’t try.”

  “You really think sending her a message will get her to stop?” Kent asks. “There’s a reason not negotiating is the hard line that a lot of people stick to. You give them anything and they see that they’re getting to you, they’ll come at you that much harder.”

  I reach down into that well of magic that’s inside me and bring it up and out. My magic is so much stronger than I’m used to. Probably because I’ve been gathering power like crazy in my time with Aeric. Inside it feels like a torrent of blue and gold flame.

  With the power gathering in me I feel a sense of ease and purpose that I haven’t felt in forever. This, I can do something with. The Goddess’s magic sings under my skin, sparkles like a never-ending river, encouraging me to push and move and make.

  I don’t question it. I turn away from the guys, and go out of the house into the gardens. My feet are leading themselves, or maybe the goddess is leading me. I end up in the labyrinth. The stone carving that marks the center of the land.

  Everything in the gardens seems to shimmer. Details draw my eyes in flashes, each one more beautiful than the last. Turquoise trees shivering against the crimson sky. Intricately carved stone beneath my feet, shining with pale light. Rainbows glinting through the water of the fountains and waterfalls. Clusters of flowers I’ve never noticed, and couldn’t name because they’re not in the human realm. Some look a little like daisies and some of them look like stars. I swear that everything is shining.

  Not enough.

  The whisper is soft but clear. I’m not holding enough magic. I close my eyes and reach for my own, that twisting thread of violet fire, and I wrap it around my soul. Then I take a deep breath and plunge into the fountain of the goddess’s magic with both hands.

  A rush of light and power so complete washes over me. I am the magic, and it is me. It fuses to my bones and binds itself around my veins and suddenly I think that I can hear the universe. There are voices—maybe shouting—and in my body. I can sense emotions like awe and fear, but they don’t feel like mine.

  Around me I can feel the life in the air, the plants, and the five bright sparks of life more vibrant than the rest. I can sense the wards, swirling and stretching around us, and I know that I can make them stronger. Another shield just like mine—spun from golden glass, woven and webbed with fluid energy. Nothing can walk past this shield without my consent, or that of the Goddess. Even coming near it could be fatal.

  It’s like a wall charged with a million volts of current, hovering just beneath the visible surface of things. Anyone who dares to come close will feel the power.

  The scent of roses is thick in the air, as is the feeling of perfect security. No one can touch us. Anyone. Especially not her.

  “Show me,” I whisper. I’m as
king the Goddess. Her power. My power. Take me to her.

  The space in front of me transforms, and I’m in darkness with Ariana. She’s an apparition—there and not there all at once. The only light for her is the speck of orange power hovering above her fingertips, and now, me.

  There are rocks smooth and shiny as glass, but twisted. Molten like they’ve been melted and reformed. She turns when I appear, momentary shock quickly covered up by her usual arch smile. “Kari.”

  “End this,” I say. “Tomorrow.”

  She purses her lips, pretending to consider. But we both know she’s already chosen to agree. “So eager to embrace your fate?” She asks.

  “Eager to stop you from harming anymore fae in order to send a message.”

  Ariana’s eyes sparkle, and she laughs like she’s just been given the best gift of her life. “Did you enjoy the presents?”

  I don’t answer.

  “I suppose I can move up our meeting. Things are almost ready to begin.” She takes a step towards me, and beneath this shell of power I’m holding onto, my body shrinks in terror. She’s not here and I’m not there, and yet my mind recoils when she reaches out and brushes her fingers down my cheek. It’s nothing but a brush of air, and yet it’s still revolting.

  “Tomorrow,” I say again, and I release that vision. She’s gone, and I’m in the garden again. Visceral relief drops through me like a stone. This was the right decision. Even if it wasn’t, it’s done now.

  Magic is still burning in my limbs—more than I’ve ever held before—and I try to let it go. And that’s when the magic turns.

  Power like this doesn’t like to be contained, and I’m not its real master. I opened a door I don’t know how to close—just a vessel for this power that’s now trying to consume me in order to be free. First it was not enough, and now it’s too much.

  Panic wraps around my neck like a snake. I can barely breathe, the glory of power burning through me faster than I can manage to control it. It doesn’t hurt. There’s too much of it for that. It shines too much and soothes as it consumes. I need to release it. Get it out.