One Hundred Goodbyes (An Aspen Cove Romance Book 9)

by Kelly Collins

  She laid her head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. After several minutes, hers beat in rhythm with his.

  “Shall we go home?”

  She liked the sound of that. “Will you sleep in your bed tonight?”

  “Only if you’re there with me.”

  “I’ll be there.” She giggled. “I take up more than half, but I’d like you next to me if that’s not too weird.”

  “Not weird at all. Beside you is where I want to be.”

  They packed up the leftovers and blanket and headed back home. After a night of canoodling on the couch watching sitcoms, they went to bed.

  She turned on her side and Thomas tucked a spare pillow under her stomach. He was always so attentive to her needs.

  He spooned behind her with his palm splayed over her belly. Before she fell asleep, she heard him say, “If all of this went away, I’d never survive.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Thomas

  It had been two weeks since Eden had invited him into her bed. Each night he was able he molded himself to her and fell asleep breathing her scent. She used the same shampoo as him, but she always smelled like a sweet confection. The carrot cake muffins used to be his favorite. The aroma always floated down the street to the station, but they had nothing on Eden.

  His eyes shifted to his phone at least a dozen times each morning he pulled his shift. Her texts invigorated him for the day.

  While he loved his job, he hated the shifts that pulled him from the bed. Each night he’d sneak back home and watch her sleep. Before he left, he placed a box of her favorite candy on the nightstand along with a note.

  “You got it bad.” James flashed past him, grabbing the phone from his hand.

  “Return it or die.” Thomas was beginning to think that there should be an older age requirement for firefighters. The younger guys were still wet behind their ears and the high school antics they played grated on his nerves.

  Last night he’d climbed into his bunk to find his bed short sheeted. Last week Jacob switched the sugar for salt. He claimed it was an accident, but Thomas knew better.

  “Incoming text,” James yelled as he fled the crew kitchen and took off toward the rig.

  “James,” he warned. “If I don’t get that phone back in less than five seconds, I’ll make sure you pull every Saturday until you turn old and gray.” James hated the Saturday clean up. The day they spent hours shining up the station and the vehicles. Since Thomas was the scheduler, he could do it.

  “She says she misses you.” He moved from the backside of the rig and handed him the phone.

  Thomas sat on the bumper and watched the dots move as Eden typed more.

  I miss you. So glad your last nightshift is over. Thank you for the candy and the note. You were a nice surprise too. I’ll be leaving in a few minutes for my shift. Can you do lunch?

  He knew his grin was big because his cheeks ached from it. Last night he’d written a heartfelt note that said his life changed when she entered it. She was a nice surprise. He wasn’t looking for anything but something special managed to find him. He always ended his notes wishing her and the baby a beautiful day.

  “When are you going to marry her?” James plopped down on the bumper next to him.

  “We’re friends. You don’t marry someone who’s only a friend.”

  James lifted his brows. Brows Thomas knew without a doubt he got groomed regularly by Marina. They were far too perfect to grow that way naturally.

  “For being an old man you’re an idiot.” James slid a few feet away, no doubt gaining distance in case Thomas decided to retaliate.

  “I’m older, wiser, and all-around superior to you. You with your cotton candy dreams. Wait until some woman reaches into your chest and rips out your heart. You’ll wise up about relationships mighty fast.”

  “Even I know you marry your best friend.” He pushed off the truck and started for the kitchen.

  “You and Jacob will make a handsome couple.”

  James flipped him off before he entered the kitchen.

  Thomas glanced back at his phone. There was nothing else there.

  He moved to the office where Luke sat behind the desk reading the latest Jack Reacher novel.

  “Would you say you and Riley are best friends?” He shouldered the doorjamb.

  Luke earmarked his page which would have sent Thomas’s mother into a tailspin given she was a librarian and books were equivalent to gold.

  “What do you mean?” Luke tossed the book on top of the desk.

  “Do you think your fiancée or spouse should be your best friend?”

  Luke rubbed his chin and stared at the ceiling. “There’s room for more than one best friend.” He kicked his feet off the desk and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the hard wood surface. “You’re my best friend, but I refuse to sleep with you. There are things I tell Riley that I’d never tell you. Personal things.”

  Thomas shook his head. “Yeah, I don’t want to know when you get an ingrown hair on the underside of your sack.”

  Luke stared at him with a neutral expression. “I’m a waxer.”

  “Shit. Really? I didn’t need to know that.” He rubbed his eyes, but his imagination was vivid.

  “See? Things your woman would know but your friends probably shouldn’t. It was a joke anyway. No one, and I repeat no one is moving toward me with hot wax.”

  A whoosh of air left Thomas’s lungs. He experienced the process as he considered it. The oozing of hot wax and the inevitable ripping off of hair. His own sack crawled inside his body at the thought.

  “Is this about Eden?”

  He pushed off the doorframe and took a seat in the chair across from Luke.

  “I guess.” Where did he begin to explain when he couldn’t make sense of things himself? “She’s got me all twisted up inside, man. I don’t know if I’m coming or going.”

  “You like her. That’s a good thing.”

  “I do, but shit … she’s pregnant with another person’s child.” Eden had come clean to several people about her situation and news had spread like a grass fire.

  “So. Do you like her enough to get past that?”

  Thomas inhaled so deeply he was certain his lungs would pop. “Here’s the thing …” He reminded Luke of the situation with Sarah.

  “It’s not the same. You know that, right?”

  “I know, but it feels the same on many levels and I keep beating myself up because I left Sarah and the baby I’d always considered mine even when she begged me to stay. I promised myself that I’d never raise another man’s child.”

  Luke sat for several minutes in silence. When he spoke, he did so in a somber, here’s-my-take fashion. It reminded Thomas of the way his father dealt with everything. Had Thomas acted with his heart or his head when it came to Sarah? Seeing her a couple of weeks ago raised all of those emotions to the surface again.

  The love.

  The loss.

  The lies.

  “Do you love Eden?” Luke asked.

  He knew the answer immediately, but he held back the yes. “What does love have to do with it?”

  Luke chuckled. “Everything. There are things you’d do for love that you would never do otherwise.”

  “Like raise another man’s child?”

  “I guess, but in the end, the child is Eden’s, and in the case of this child, it’s whoever’s going to love it best. DNA doesn’t make you a daddy. What’s the hang-up? I don’t think it’s about the baby not coming from you. It’s deeper than that.”

  “Now you’re a therapist?” He crossed his arms over his chest. Analyzing the situation had become a favorite pastime. He had years to come up with the conclusion he knew Luke would find in moments.

  “I’ll send you a bill after we’re done.”

  “Fine,” he grumbled. “What’s the diagnosis, Doc Mosier?”

  “You’re afraid.”

  A pfft sound blew past his lips. The air t
hat whizzed out strong enough to send a paper from the inbox fluttering to the floor.

  “Fear isn’t my problem. Falling for the wrong woman is.”

  Luke bent over to pick up the paper. “Fear is your problem. You’re afraid what happened last time will happen again. You open your heart and fall in love and something is going to strip you of all that joy again.”

  “It’s possible.”

  “It’s exactly what’s happening but this isn’t the same. There’s no betrayal. There’s no man on the sidelines who doesn’t know he’s having a baby. Eden was honest with you. That is where the difference becomes apparent. You can lie to yourself as to why you didn’t stay with Sarah, but it wasn’t because the baby wasn’t yours. It was because she lied to you. She handed you the Kool-Aid and you drank it. Deep inside you knew if you stayed with her, you’d never be able to trust her. Eden isn’t Sarah. She came clean once she knew you well enough to trust you.”

  There are things you tell someone you love that you wouldn’t tell anyone else. Eden had trusted him with her secret. A secret she kept not because she was being dishonest with anyone but because she was embarrassed for herself. Ashamed that she’d trusted another. In some odd ridiculous way, she’d experienced the same kind of betrayal. Only hers was far worse.

  Thinking about what her sister and brother-in-law did to her made Thomas want to go postal, but he was a thinker more than an emotional reactor, much like his father. It was only in moments of deep despair that his heart ruled over his head.

  “I love her. Can’t help it. She’s the best person I know.” He said the words aloud despite them starting as an internalization. They tasted sweet on his tongue, much like Eden’s kisses. Funny how the truth had a different flavor than a lie.

  Luke slapped the desk. “My job is finished.” He looked at his phone. “I think you owe me lunch.”

  “I’ve got a lunch date with my girlfriend.” The word rolled off his tongue like a song. Everything about Eden and his feelings for her was right and rang true in his heart. “I’m out of here.” He stood and walked toward the door. “Thanks for being my best friend.”

  Luke followed him. “No problem, man. Just don’t tell me anything that I can’t erase from my brain.”

  Thomas grabbed his jacket and jogged to the vet clinic. He couldn’t get to Eden fast enough. There were words that needed to be said.

  He opened the door to find her sitting on her chair, her eyes opened wide and her cheeks flushed.

  She held up a hand. “Don’t come any closer. I don’t want you to see me.”

  He twisted his head. “Sweetheart. I see you anyway.”

  “No, not like this.”

  He couldn’t quite figure it out. Did she accidentally put on mismatched socks or shoes?

  “You know I’ll love you no matter what.” The words were out but she hadn’t noticed. Hadn’t heard them.

  “Oh God, not again.” She disappeared, bending over so he couldn’t see her above the desk.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She lifted her head and tears rolled down her cheeks. “I don’t want to tell you.”

  His heart stuttered. Was this where his dreams died?

  “Eden.” He moved toward her. “Whatever it is, we can get through it.”

  Her shaky inhale came out the same. Jagged and harsh.

  “You promise you won’t feel weird.”

  He had no idea what he’d feel but it had to be better than the pure fear he was experiencing now. A clawing gnawing terror he had to hide so she didn’t feed into it. “Nothing you tell me will change the way I feel about you.”

  “My back hurts. I got up to walk the tension out and …” She looked down. “I wet myself. I’m a sopping wet mess and I smell bad.”

  He wanted to laugh. He pulled in his next breath and smiled. The scent of ammonia floated through the air. He moved around the desk to kneel in front of her. “You didn’t wet yourself, baby. Your water broke.” He leaned in and kissed her. It was a tender, loving kiss. One he hoped conveyed everything he was feeling inside. “We’re going to have a baby.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Eden

  Palm to her forehead. Of course, that was the problem. The issue was she hadn’t experienced any pain. A dull nagging ache in her lower back and a gush of water that never seemed to end.

  “Oh, my God, I’m not ready.”

  “Yes, you are. It’s going to be okay.” He stared down at the puddle. “Let me mop this up, and I’ll get you to Doc’s clinic so you don’t give birth here in the veterinarian clinic.”

  Her heart warmed to watch him jump into action. He grabbed the mop and bucket Charlie kept at the ready for what she called piddlers. Never in her life had Eden considered she’d be one.

  “Are you in pain at all?” He offered her his hand and pulled her to a standing position.

  “There’s a tightness in my stomach. A horrible ache at my back, but nothing I can’t bear. Surely, having a baby is going to hurt worse than this.” She wasn’t trying to borrow trouble, but everything thus far was bearable except for the embarrassment of letting Thomas see her.

  “Let me carry you?” He bent down and attempted to scoop her behind the knees, but she scrambled back, nearly slipping on the damp tile.

  “No way, you’d be soaked. I’m like a leaky faucet.”

  “Can you walk?”

  “Yes, I can walk.” She maneuvered around him and took several steps toward the door when the first pain hit her with the force of a head-on collision. “Oh, holy hell.” She doubled over and held her stomach, panting until the pain passed.

  She scurried out the door before another could hit. Once it was locked, she moved with haste down the sidewalk, Thomas rushing behind her. In front of the window of the diner, the next pain hit hard and nearly sent her to her knees. She found herself whisked into his arms and heading at a near run toward the clinic.

  He pushed through the door and told Agatha, who was behind the counter, that the baby was coming and coming fast. Being a Thursday, it wasn’t a clinic day.

  Eden experienced a moment of panic when she considered Doc might not be around. She knew Lydia was out of town because she’d popped in this morning and told her to not have the baby today because she was visiting friends in Denver.

  “Is Doc here?” she called over Thomas’s shoulder while he rushed her into the exam room.

  “I’m here.” His footsteps moved down the stairs at a faster clip that she would have expected from a man his age. “Hey, Lovey. Get Sage down here to help.”

  “Right away.”

  “Shouldn’t I go to the hospital?”

  Doc was a whirlwind of activity, pulling out instruments and lab coats. He tossed a set of scrubs to Thomas and told him to change.

  He laid her on the exam table and kissed her. “I’ll be right back.”

  As soon as he left, another slicing pain ripped through her. “Oh God, it’s a wonder women have more children after the first.” She puffed air through her mouth the way she’d learned in the few classes she’d taken before the move.

  “I’m assuming you want Thomas in here with you.” He lifted his ready to take flight brows. She focused on them rather than the pain. The white hair swept up like dove’s wings on each side. “If not, I can ask him to stay in the waiting room.”

  She puffed through the pain. When it ebbed, she answered. “No, I need him here.”

  Doc smiled. “I thought so. He’s a good man, Eden.”

  “He’s the best.”

  “Let’s get you undressed and in a gown while we can.” Doc helped her down. She shrugged off the sodden pants and stripped out of her clothes before pulling on the hospital gown. This was not the time for modesty.

  The door opened and in rushed Sage. “I hear we’re having a baby?”

  “Yes,” Eden got out before the next surge rushed through her and another gush of water hit the floor. “Jeez, how much amniotic fluid could there be?” No soo
ner were the words out before Thomas raced in dressed in green scrubs. The man looked great in everything. Hell, she was certain he looked great in nothing, although she couldn’t vouch for that from personal experience. Each night they climbed into bed, he wore shorts and a T-shirt.

  She bent over and palmed her knees as another pain approached.

  Sage moved around as if preparing for afternoon tea. She wasn’t harried or concerned. Eden remembered learning Sage was a trained labor and delivery nurse. There was nothing that seemed to fluster her. Even if she’d walked in with the baby hanging between her knees, she was fairly certain Sage would have looked at her and with a calm reserved for much older people would have said, “Oh, let’s go have a baby.”

  Doc patted the table as soon as the worst was over, and Thomas helped her up. The way he looked at her was the same way a kid looked at a wrapped gift. Having the baby would be exactly like that. Everything about him or her was a surprise.

  Thomas pressed his lips to her ear. “I’m here. You’re beautiful, Eden. So damn beautiful.”

  “You’re a blind man, and I love it.” She wanted to tell him she loved him, but she couldn’t just yet. She needed to be certain what they were feeling wasn’t simply the euphoria of sharing the experience of bringing a child into the world.

  Once it was all said and done and midnight feedings and dirty diapers became a regular occurrence, would the magic of what they shared be gone?

  Doc and Sage stood at the end of the table. “Let’s see where we’re at.”

  Doc did the exam while Sage looked on and wrote in Eden’s medical record.

  “How long have you been feeling these pains?”

  “The pains only began just after my water broke but my back has been aching since last night. I figured it was the muscle thing I had the last time.” She gritted her teeth and blew puffs of air through her open mouth. “Son of a biscuit,” she yelled.