Piper yawned loudly. “Well, I’m tired and my legs hurt. Thanks for asking.”
“That’s a subtle hint if I ever heard one.” Boone chuckled as he hauled his niece into his arms. Violet eased the camp chairs from his hold and slung them over her shoulder.
Hailey lifted her arms toward Boone. “Hold me, too, Daddy.”
Violet divested Boone of the bag and blanket so both of his arms were free.
He scanned over the jumble of items in her arms. “You sure you’re okay to carry all that?”
Violet gave him a quick salute. “I’ll make it. Besides, your cargo is far more precious.” She smiled softly, watching him as he scooped up Hailey with tender care. The little girls each laid their heads on his shoulders, closing their eyes as he carried them through the crowd. They had complete trust in Boone, that he was strong enough to support them and protect them. They could relax in his arms, knowing he was there and he would take care of whatever came their way.
It made Violet think about how God is often referred to in the Bible as a father to believers. Because of the circumstances of her upbringing, Violet had never clung to that idea of God. She had no frame of reference to apply it to her relationship—did God care for her and hold her and protect her like Boone did with Hailey and Piper? Violet allowed her steps to fall a few behind Boone’s. She looked up at the sky and whispered a prayer. “Hold me, too.”
Violet caught back up with her group. Already lost in sleep, Hailey’s mouth was hanging open. The arms of Piper’s octopus hat bobbed in time with each of Boone’s steps. The scene caused Violet’s heart to squeeze with longing. Boone was such a gentle and caring father. Even though she had valid reasons in the beginning, she was now having a hard time believing she had ever doubted him.
Between the way he cared for kids, his dedication to his extended family, how he encouraged her and the intensity in his kiss, Violet felt as if she might have finally found home. She loved this man who was a mix of book smarts, physical strength and a compassionate heart.
She loved him.
Violet’s foot caught on a lump in the field and she tripped a little. Boone spun, obviously wanting to help but there wasn’t much he could do without dropping one of the girls—which he would never do.
“If you want to, you can set everything down and I can come back for it all while you wait with the girls in the car,” he offered.
Violet shook her head. She had never been more thankful for the pitch-dark of night because it felt as if her body was on fire, and in the daylight Boone would have noticed her turning every shade of red.
Boone leaned closer, his gaze inspecting her face. “Are you sure you’re okay? Your eyes,” he whispered. “Don’t take offense, but you look like a spooked horse.”
Of course she did. She had just realized she was in love.
With him.
She sucked in a sharp breath. “Just tired, I guess.”
And it wasn’t a lie because Violet was tired—tired of living with her guard up, tired of being alone. She was so thankful that Boone had been able to charm the guards stationed around her heart and had been able to stroll right in to take up residence.
On the drive home they only spoke a few times, sharing what was their favorite firework in the show and quietly chuckling over something one of the girls did or said that day. Both Hailey and Piper snored the whole ride back to Red Dog Ranch.
Boone drove his car straight over the grass to Violet’s bunkhouse.
“Boone,” she whispered. “You’ll ruin the grass.”
“Not just once.” He shook his head. “Either way, I don’t think my brother would mind. You did say you were tired.”
Violet opened her door as quietly as she could. “Well, good night.”
“Violet.” Boone’s voice was unsure. She glanced back at him. “I had a really nice time with you today.”
Violet nodded. “I did, too.” She shut the door and he drove back to the driveway so he could head to the other side of the ranch where Wade’s house was located. When his car was long gone, Violet let out a happy squeal and then ran into her house. She closed the door and leaned her back against it as she found her phone and finally checked the message waiting there.
A text from Cassidy: Wait. Hold up. You and my brother-in-law? I can’t believe this.
Violet’s eyes landed on the text preceding Cassidy’s message. It was the picture of Boone and Violet kissing with the three fireworks exploding behind them. The one Hailey had dubbed framable.
Violet groaned. “Hailey.” And she slumped down the door. She pressed the edge of her phone to her chin and tried to blink away the tears that quickly gathered in her eyes. Cassidy’s text held no excitement or welcome. I can’t believe this. Actually, it sounded as if she were upset. Of course, Boone’s family would be.
No one had ever wanted Violet, not for the long haul. She hadn’t been good enough for her own aunt and uncle or any of the foster families. No matter how hard she tried to prove her worth to others, everyone ended up finding her lacking.
Hadn’t Boone said a kiss doesn’t always mean what someone thought it meant? With that statement, he might as well have yelled that he didn’t actually care about Violet, she was just there and convenient and he was lonely. She fisted her hands in her hair.
She had so badly wanted him to care, wanted to be good enough, that she had missed all the signs. How stupid.
The Jarretts were an amazing family. Pillars of the town of Stillwater and well respected in the larger foster community throughout Texas. If her own family hadn’t wanted her, there was no way Violet could ever be good enough to warrant Boone’s romantic attention. The Jarretts were the ideal family, and no matter how hard she tried, Violet would never belong in their ranks.
And Cassidy knew it. Which meant Wade knew, too. How could she face them again?
You and my brother-in-law? I can’t believe this.
Violet had never felt like such a fool. Her plea to God earlier felt silly, too. Hold me. She wasn’t a cute child like Piper or Hailey. Violet was damaged, discarded goods. No one treasured discounted merchandise.
She laid her head on her knees and finally let herself cry.
* * *
Wade must have been watching for Boone because he was out the door and down the porch steps before Boone had a chance to throw the gearshift into Park. Boone’s gaze went to the clock embedded in his dashboard and he grimaced. He was getting Piper home late, but Wade had to know they didn’t start fireworks until it was dark outside.
Wade tugged open his door. “You grab Hailey and I’ll carry Piper in.”
Boone scrunched his brow. “You can just lift Piper out and I’ll head home with Hailey. They’re both asleep.” There was no need to chance waking Hailey by moving her in and out of the car.
Wade shook his head. “No can do, bud. Cassidy insists that you come inside. She said I wasn’t allowed to come back in without you. So, come on, man. You wouldn’t want to upset my pregnant wife, would you?” He motioned for Boone to get out of the car. “Hailey can sleep with Piper in her room.”
Boone sighed and climbed out of the car.
Wade opened the door where Piper was and stifled a laugh. “What is that thing on her head? I mean, I saw it in the picture, but...wow.”
“Scuba Doo, obviously, the crime-fighting octopus,” Boone deadpanned.
“Oh, right. Obviously.” Wade grinned at him. “Thanks for taking her along today. From the couple pictures you guys sent it looked like everyone was having a good time.” He nudged Boone as he passed with Piper in his arms. “You included.”
Wing Crosby, a large white goose, honked from the top of the steps leading up to Wade’s porch.
Wade grunted at the goose. “You do that again and wake up my kid and I will put you on the table for Thanksgiving.”
C
assidy opened the front door. “Oh, stop. We all know you secretly love that bird because it makes you think of Shannon.”
Wing shook his tail feathers and honked again.
“You think I’m kidding, but I’m not,” Wade said, affection clear in his voice.
The goose had been hand-raised by their sister, Shannon, who had forced Wade to pinkie-promise to take care of him until she returned. Being twins, Wade and Shannon had always been close.
Boone tipped his head to Cassidy as she held the door for both men. He followed Wade upstairs, tugged off Hailey’s shoes and laid her next to Piper in the queen-size bed.
“They’re going to sleep hard,” Boone whispered. Wade chuckled and nodded.
At the bottom of the stairs, Cassidy tapped her toe on the hardwood floor. When Boone tried to step past her, she snagged his arm. “Not so fast, Romeo.” She steered him toward a leather reclining chair and pressed on his shoulders, encouraging him to sit. “You’ve got some explaining to do.”
Cloudstorm, Piper’s gray-and-white cat, leaped to the back of Boone’s chair. The cat’s tail curled onto Boone’s shoulder as it started purring. Being leery of cats, Boone leaned forward in the chair, away from Cloudstorm. The cat yawned loudly and proceeded to claim more of the headrest.
“Someone’s going to have to help me here. What am I supposed to be explaining?” Boone looked to Wade but his little brother only shrugged.
Cassidy lowered herself onto the coffee table a few feet away, picked up her cell phone and shoved it toward Boone. “Let’s start with this.”
Everything clicked into place when Boone saw the image displayed there. It was him and Violet kissing at the fireworks show. Lost in their embrace, Violet looked breathtaking. Boone’s mouth went dry. “She sent this to you?”
What would have motivated Violet to do that?
“I sent her a text right after I got it because I was excited but she never responded.” Cassidy took back her phone. She fanned herself. “I have to give it to you—it looks like it was one great kiss.” Then his sister-in-law pinned him with a stare. “But listen, I like Violet a lot and I don’t want to see her get hurt. And I don’t think you would on purpose but you might without realizing it.” She arched an eyebrow. “How long has this been going on?”
Boone scrubbed his hand over his face and let out a long breath. “Only today. It was a onetime thing.”
Cassidy rolled her eyes. “Not the kiss. The feelings, Boone. Have you two been dating without telling anyone? Because this looks pretty serious.” She pointed her phone’s screen at him. His spur-of-the-moment kiss on full display. Why had he kissed Violet? Hundreds of reasons. Because the moment had felt right, he had wanted to do so for a while now, and he had hoped it would help him sort through the confusion concerning what to do with his feelings.
Too bad it had only served to confuse him more. After the self-doubt he’d experienced at the rodeo he probably shouldn’t have acted on his feelings but the fireworks and her closeness had done a number on him.
Boone dropped his head into his hands. “We’re not dating.”
“Then what are you doing?”
Boone shifted in his chair. “Honestly?” He raised his head again. “I don’t know.” He swallowed hard. “I care about Violet. She’s...she’s amazing.” Images of Violet having fun with Hailey, joking with him around the campfire and how beautiful she looked in her dress and cowboy boots today sprang to mind. The other day he had convinced himself that any feelings he had for Violet were misdirected pieces of grief for his wife, but after their kiss Boone knew he wasn’t just seeking friendly companionship with another person. It was Violet and Violet alone whom Boone craved being around. And not because he was lonely and grieving, but because he had fallen hard for the barrel racer.
Wade cleared his throat.
Evidently Boone was taking too long to supply an answer.
Boone met his brother’s eyes. He pushed words past the tightness in his throat. “I think I’m in love with her.”
Cassidy grabbed his hand and jiggled it. “That’s wonderful. When I saw the picture, I hoped—but I wanted to make sure because I know Violet hasn’t had the easiest life and I was afraid you might be leading her on. However unintentionally.”
Boone rolled his shoulders. The kiss had been an instant reaction to her nearness, something he hadn’t thought about beforehand. Hurting Violet was the last thing he ever wanted to do. He slipped his hand away from Cassidy and examined the lines crisscrossing both his palms. “Maybe this sounds ridiculous, but I keep struggling because it feels as if I’m not being faithful to June.” His voice broke on her name. “I only just lost her. I don’t deserve—I shouldn’t find someone and replace her. I shouldn’t get to be happy again so soon.” He blinked hard. “It feels wrong.”
Cassidy took his chin and lifted his head. “Boone,” she said gently. “I understand what it’s like to lose someone.” She looked toward Wade. His brother’s Adam’s apple bobbed, causing the red-pink scar on his neck to move.
“For five years I thought Wade was dead,” Cassidy said. “And I know it’s not the same because I got Wade back, but I promise I understand how you’re feeling and I know how complex and confusing it all can be.” She dropped her hand to his chest, placing it over his heart. “You will always love June, but letting someone else into your life, being happy again and loving again, well, I believe your heart is big enough to hold all those emotions. Loving someone else doesn’t negate anything you and June had.”
Boone tried to absorb Cassidy’s words but his worries still lingered. “I feel like I should wait. It’s only been a few months since June—” Boone couldn’t finish. He should suffer longer. Mourn his wife for a proper duration first. “The timing’s all wrong and how I am right now, still processing everything, it’s not fair to ask Violet to enter into anything with me until I’m through the worst of it, right?”
“Well, Boone.” Cassidy flashed the picture again. “Looks to me as if the two of you have already entered into something.”
Boone sighed. He really needed to get a hold of her phone and delete that image.
Her eyes softened. “You don’t have to meet some suffering requirement before being happy again, I promise you don’t. No one would ask that of you, least of all June.”
Wade moved to stand beside Cassidy and rested his hand on his wife’s shoulder. She scooted on the coffee table to make room for him to sit beside her.
Wade steepled his hands, pressing them to his lips. “Here’s the thing, bro. Life has no certainties. Our family has had that lesson pounded into us a lot lately. In the last year we lost Dad and June, Alzheimer’s stole our mother away, the ranch was leveled by a tornado, this happened.” Wade touched the half circle scar on his neck, a reminder of his battle with thyroid cancer. “And now Silas. God’s shown us Jarretts again and again that none of us are promised a tomorrow. There’s no such thing as waiting for everything to be perfectly sorted out. Because the kicker is, perfect doesn’t happen on earth, Boone. If you’re waiting for the perfect time, then you’re waiting for the impossible.”
Wade took a deep breath and looked to Cassidy, seeking assurance. She put her hand on his knee. Their silent partnership wasn’t lost to Boone. It made his chest ache. He missed having that.
“I’m no preacher and I’ve never been to seminary like you,” Wade said. “But I don’t think God intends for us to live in guilt and worry. From what I see in the Bible, we should be using our lives to chase after good things and pursue what God puts in our lives.” Wade made eye contact and held it. “Are you so rich that you can shrug off a blessing from God? Because that’s what this is, Boone. I know how you think. A relationship doesn’t fit into your plans, your timing. But have you considered that God’s timing is different than yours? If you have feelings for Violet—if you love her—you shouldn’t feel bad about doing
something about it. You should recognize her as the blessing she is.”
Boone bumped his foot into his brother’s. “When did my little brother go and get so smart?”
Wade gave the half smirk he was known for. “I have these two amazing big brothers that I’ve always looked up to.” He shrugged. “I guess they’ve brushed off on me some.”
Cassidy picked up her phone.
Boone shook his head. “Honestly, Cass, I don’t need to see that picture again.”
“It’s not that. It’s vibrating.” She looked at the screen. “Rhett.” She sprang to her feet and answered. “Does that mean—?” She gasped. “That’s—that’s wonderful. Oh, thank God.” Tears clogged her voice and she paused. She held up a hand when Wade got to his feet. “Yes, of course. We will. I promise. All night.” She gave her husband a watery smile. “Hey, Rhett? We love you guys. We love Silas. We’re here for you any time, don’t hesitate.”
She hung up and turned to face Wade and Boone. Boone had risen to his feet, too.
Cassidy cradled her phone in her hands. She opened her mouth to say something and then her face contorted and she burst into tears. Wade had her in his arms a second later.
“I’m sorry,” Cassidy got out. She wiped at her cheeks. “There’s a heart for Silas. It’s happening. Rhett wants us to call everyone together and pray while he’s in surgery. The next few hours are critical.” She faced Boone. “Go get Violet and we’ll see if we can get through to Carter and Shannon.”
Boone ran a hand over his head. He’d have to face Violet before he had made up his mind what to do or say to her. He shoved away the thoughts swirling in his mind.
Silas was getting a new heart. For the next few hours a battle would be waged for his nephew’s life. That was the only thing that mattered right now.
Chapter Nine
Violet tugged the sleeve of her oversize sweatshirt down over her fingertips as if maybe it could shield her better that way. It was a warm night but she had insisted on putting it on before heading to Wade and Cassidy’s with Boone. Being here in the midst of the Jarrett family, watching them interact, she couldn’t help but feel as if she didn’t belong.
Starting Over in Texas Page 11
