Hearts on Hold

by Charish Reid

  Unfortunately, Becca picked up on that and sprang. “Who are you?” she asked, staring at Victoria.

  She did the only thing she knew how to do and held out her hand to shake. “I’m Victoria Reese, I work with your uncle John.”

  Becca cautiously took her hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you.”

  “I’m sorry you had a bad day at school,” Victoria said.

  “Yeah, well, they’re happening more and more,” the girl muttered. “Thanks for saying what you did back there. I don’t think the principal likes me.”

  “The principal is trying to do her job,” John said. “When a fight breaks out, she has to call everyone’s parents.”

  “Yeah, but she made it sound like I did everything.”

  “Honestly, John,” Victoria said. “Her tone did suggest that Becca was solely responsible. Some of her language was coded in an offensive way.”

  John sighed when he stopped at a traffic light. “Yeah, I heard it,” he said.

  Moved by the girl’s gratitude, Victoria patted the girl’s leg. “Becca, honey? What did this girl say that made you so angry?”

  Becca dipped her head and sniffed. “The same thing she always says. She called me a frizzy haired giraffe.”

  Without thinking, Victoria wrapped her free arm around a girl she barely knew and squeezed her tight. Becca didn’t resist the hug, but leaned into it. She looked over her head and exchanged a glance with John, who watched them with curiosity. “Jenny sounds like a real...you know.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “I had a bully like her when I was a kid,” Victoria said, rubbing Becca’s arm.

  She sniffed. “What did you do?”

  Hesitating, Victoria cast another glance at the other adult in the truck.

  John kept his eyes on traffic and smirked. “Yes, Dr. Reese, what did you do?”

  “Well,” she started. “Her name was Kiki and she was hell-bent on making my life miserable while we rode the bus. She and her little girlfriends were always terrorizing me and my friend Suzie and one day, I just snapped.”

  “You snapped?” John asked rounding a corner.

  “I punched her in the face.” Victoria closed her eyes. This was certainly not something to tell a kid who had a full week of detention ahead of her.

  Becca looked up at her with wide-eyed wonder. “Really?”

  “Yes, but it was wrong,” she added.

  John snuck another look at her, trying to temper his grin. “I wouldn’t have guessed it by looking at you, Dr. Reese.”

  “You punched her in the face?”

  Victoria blushed. “Yes, but it was wrong,” she repeated.

  “Did you get in trouble?”

  “Definitely.” Victoria remembered her suspension vividly. Her mother had been aghast by the news and had fretted about what to tell the women of her charity circle. My own daughter is out here brawling like a common guttersnipe. Her father’s reaction had been entirely different. The strapping Marine who treated her like his son, had wanted Victoria to reenact the events, showing him how her fist had connected with Kiki’s jaw. The argument between her parents that evening reverberated off the walls of her girlhood bedroom and in her mind now. The memories made her realize how much she was projecting on Becca. Victoria probably hadn’t needed to say anything in the principal’s office. But she’d recalled how her own mother refused to defend her and felt the same wave of shame and disappointment. “Anyway, I was lucky I didn’t seriously injure Kiki. It could have been worse than a suspension for me. And I didn’t feel good about hurting her,” Victoria said. “I never felt good about using my fists like that.”

  “Hmm,” was all John contributed.

  “It felt good to push Jenny,” Becca said. “For a second. And then I felt really scared. Like I didn’t know what to do next. Before I could stop them, my friends jumped in and it was a mess.”

  “Do you feel sorry you did it?” Victoria asked in a gentle voice.

  “I do. I just wish she would leave me alone, you know?”

  “I think when you and the rest of the girls are stuck in a room with one another and have to talk about your feelings, things might change. You never know what’s happening in Jenny’s life that makes her act like a...you know. People who are happy with their lives don’t tend to be mean for the sake of being mean.”

  She caught John in her periphery, quietly nodding along to her words.

  Becca wiped her eyes. “Maybe you’re right. I really don’t want to hate her.”

  “That’s because you’re a good kid, honey,” John said as he pulled into the Stevenson Hall parking lot. “You just have to learn how to use your words.”

  When he pulled to a stop, Becca straightened away from Victoria. “Thanks for listening,” she said.

  Victoria gazed into the girl’s large and nervous brown eyes, startlingly similar to her own at that age. The twinge of pain and embarrassment she felt in that moment rendered her silent, so she quietly nodded. Meeting John’s niece was like looking into a mirror of the past. The encounter made her heart pound and palms sweat. As she slid her seatbelt off, she smiled at Becca. “Of course,” she finally said.

  “See you later, Victoria,” Becca said with a smile. It was a real smile that lit up her glum face and made Victoria want to cry.

  “Let me walk you to the building,” John said, climbing out of his side.

  As they walked away from the truck, cold air hit Victoria in the face, relieving her flushed skin. “I’m sorry for telling her that story,” she said to John. “I just didn’t know what else to say.”

  John chuckled. “Better she hear about your fight than my many bloody noses and cracked ribs.”

  “Well, it’s probably not ladylike for her to hear about it.”

  “I’m much less concerned about Becca being ladylike than I am her confidence,” he said. “And I assure you that my sister feels the same.”

  She took a deep breath and finally looked him in the eye. “Good luck with everything.”

  “Listen, I’m sorry,” he said.

  “For what?”

  He dropped his gaze to his shoes. “I feel like something between us is off.”

  Strangely, Victoria felt it too. For the first time in their sordid affair, things seemed different. She’d feared this would happen. They had introduced the “real world” into their playful game and life with John was becoming complicated. She could have accepted his original offer to be dropped off on campus before he retrieved his niece, but her need to help him had felt more pressing than her need to leave. That need wasn’t sordid; it was potentially messy. Like, relationship messy. “I know that we had something scheduled for tomorrow, but it’s Saturday and that time should probably be spent with Becca. She needs you right now.”

  John peered at her for a moment before giving a jerky nod. “Yeah, okay.”

  Even though she suggested it, she was secretly hoping he’d say no. That her goodwill offer would be ignored and they’d make it work anyway. But this was probably for the best. Victoria hid her disappointment behind a quavering smile and held out her hand.

  John’s face flickered with emotion. “What are you doing?”

  “I figured a handshake was better in front of your twelve-year-old niece,” she said.

  He reached out and held her hand in his. They tried to shake with professionalism, but Victoria couldn’t muster the effort. She not only wanted him to hold her hand, but to hold her. “Call me when you’re ready for our next appointment,” he said in a husky voice.

  She slowly pulled her hand from his grasp. “I will.”

  “Good.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  After a Skype conference with his sister and niece, it had been decided that Becca would be better suited with a confidence-boosting activity on the weekends. With
Jessi’s permission, John had signed Becca up for kiddie kickboxing lessons at Chris’s gym. He knew what it was like to be a frustrated kid with no outlet. Becca could punch her way to a Zen-like serenity instead of shoving schoolgirls. After making arrangements with Chris, he checked his phone for any missed messages from Victoria. Nothing.

  There were still no messages the following morning. It had been hell getting Becca out of bed, but they made it just in time for her first class. As he watched his niece do sit ups through a viewing window with other parents, he felt a rough clap on his shoulder. “She looks good, Uncle Johnny,” Chris said.

  “She’s not exactly a fighter,” John said.

  “That’s what the classes are for. Come on, man, let’s fire off a couple of rounds with the bag.”

  John kept his eyes on Becca as the kids lined up for more calisthenics. “Yeah, sure,” he murmured. “Dante’s going to take it easy on her, right? I don’t want her to get hurt.”

  Chris chuckled. “Aww, fatherhood looks cute on you. Don’t worry about her; Dante’s great with kids.”

  He was reluctant to leave the window and follow his friend to the boxing area of the gym, but he forced himself to back away. Hiring Dante last summer to start the kickboxing classes was the best business decision his friend could have made. News of the kid-friendly and women-only classes had spread throughout town, making Flynn Fitness the busiest gym in Farmingdale. John was proud of his buddy’s business savvy, considering what kind of mess he was when they were kids.

  As they stood with a heavy bag hanging between them, John still saw the goofy kid he’d grown up with, just a bit taller and more muscular. Chris swept his blonde curls out of his face and flashed him the same good humored grin. “Boxing gloves or sparring gloves?” he asked.

  John pulled off his hoody and tossed it on a nearby bench. “Sparring,” he said.

  Chris tossed him a pair and held the bag while John slipped them on. “It’s been a minute since you’ve rocked the bag so we’ll start with a two-minute circuit.”

  John focused on the bag before him, drowning out Chris’s voice. He laid into the bag with a speed and force that set him drifting into another place. The strength of his jabs and crosses knocked the bag and Chris back a few inches, catching his friend off guard. John’s quiet fury was punctuated with a few well-timed uppercuts and knee thrusts, battering the heavy bag and causing him to break a sweat. His mind was on Victoria and how poorly things had gone yesterday. He’d initially thought he held his own while matching wit with her asshole boss, but after a fitful night’s sleep, he now wondered if he’d sounded like an idiot in front of both of them. Victoria was a crazy smart woman who said things like “textual artifacts,” who had a small legion of young scholars who followed her around for her literary advice. After being out of school for a decade, how could John fit into the world of elbow-patch academics?

  Before he was aware of it, two minutes had turned into five.

  “Okay, break.” Chris called him out of his trance.

  He dropped his arms and broke his intense stare on the bag. His breath was racing as blood pounded in his ears. “Shit,” he whispered.

  “Shit’s right,” his friend said with a low whistle. “You okay?”

  John tried to catch his breath. “Yeah.”

  “Right,” Chris said stepping from behind the bag. “I know you well enough to say only two things calm you down when you’re stressed: fighting and reading. What’s got you battering my gym equipment?”

  “Give me a minute,” John panted. They sat side by side on a bench as John waited for his resting heartbeat to lower.

  “Men at our age have to pace ourselves, Johnny.”

  “Fuck you, I’m in my thirties.”

  Chris laughed outright. “And somehow knocking on forty’s door. Seriously, dude, What’s up with you? You look more stressed out than usual.”

  John glanced at his friend. “If I tell you, will you promise not to bro-out?”

  “Okay?”

  “I met someone,” John said. “And I don’t know what to call what we’re doing.”

  “Hooking up?”

  He shrugged. “No, I don’t think it is.”

  “Situationship?”

  “I don’t know.” John struggled to find the words. “I think she’s... God, I don’t know.”

  “Start from the beginning,” Chris said, employing a trick he’d learned from John’s mother.

  John breathed deeply and relayed the events that led Victoria and him to part ways yesterday, leaving out the necessary bits. When he’d finished, he felt his face redden and managed to avoid eye contact with Chris. “I feel like a dumb kid again. Does she like me? Or does she like like me?”

  Chris gave one of his good-natured chuckles. “She sounds...interesting, I’ll say that.”

  “I should call her, right?”

  “I don’t know about that,” Chris said. “She made the schedule.”

  “What if I want more than the schedule?” John asked. “I’ve only known her for a week and I want to be with her every day. I think about her before I go to sleep; I wake up with her on my mind.”

  “Jesus, I need to meet this Victoria,” Chris said under his breath. “I don’t think I’ve heard you this sprung since Patricia Mayweather in our junior year of college. When she dumped you, you were a real bummer to be around.”

  John rolled his eyes. “This isn’t a Mayweather situation.”

  “No, it sounds worse actually.”

  “I got to date Patty for a full year at least,” John reminded him. “I’ve got a couple weeks with Dr. Reese.”

  “Weird. Was there anything in particular that pissed you off yesterday? Like, what made you two leave stuff so awkward?”

  John thought back to their ruined lunch date. “What if I’m not good enough for her?”

  “Fuck that,” Chris said. “She wouldn’t have bothered if you weren’t good enough for her. Do you know how many women ask about you after you leave a session? Man, I’m getting tired of cleaning up after you.”

  John looked at his friend and grinned in spite of himself. “Cleaning up after me?”

  “Yeah, I have to distract them with a tiny white lie.”

  “How tiny?”

  “I tell them you’re dating someone so they can redirect their attention to me,” he said. “So I need you to start dating someone ASAP.”

  John ran his hand down his beard and laughed. “God, you’re terrible.”

  “You have no idea,” Chris said with a devilish grin. “But when they find out you have a brain under those muscles and tattoos, and that you read to children for a living, women lose their collective shit. As a simple small business owner, it’s hard to compete with.”

  “Okay, so I’m good enough to be with a Pembroke girl?”

  “Yes, and she’s not a Pembroke girl. We’re not kids anymore,” Chris reminded him. “She’s a Pembroke woman who likes your books.”

  “Sure, but she makes me a little anxious.”

  “That’s because she’s a challenge. And to be honest, you haven’t had one of those in a while. Who was the last woman you dated? Blair? God, she was pretty simple to figure out.”

  “Yep, I imagine that’s why it lasted just three months.”

  “And that was a couple years ago,” Chris said. “You’ve been working and hanging out with me all that time.”

  There was truth in his friend’s words. He’d been coasting for the past two years, keeping a simple routine of work, exercise, and visiting family. But in the last week, two tornados had entered his life, knocking things off-kilter. Becca’s schooling and coming-of-age drama was colliding with Victoria’s project and proposed affair schedule. It was usually during these times of heightened stress, John’s inability to concentrate became a problem. When he tried to balance too
many things, something always fell. It was another frustrating reminder that he had to work twice as hard as the average person to complete the same task.

  “Have you talked to Jessi about her?” Chris asked.

  “I normally would, but I don’t want her to think I’m more distracted than usual. She’s expecting a fairly intact child by the time she gets back.”

  “I’m just saying, it might help to have a woman’s opinion. By the way, Jessi’s divorce is final right?”

  John raised a brow as he stared down Chris. His friend, a known serial monogamist, was always itching to find his next ex-girlfriend. Even though he’d known Jessi as long as he had John, the idea of his best friend sniffing around his sister made John clench the bench beneath him. Better that than Chris’s neck. “Choose your next words wisely.”

  Chris abruptly stood and walked behind the heavy bag, the swagger in his walk matching his lopsided grin. “You think she’s ready to start dating yet?”

  “Chris...”

  “I’m sorry, I’m back to your dude-bro friend.”

  “I’m ready for the next circuit,” John said, standing up.

  Chris laughed. “Just pace yourself, old man Donovan.”

  * * *

  “Oh man, that was so fun,” Becca said, practically skipping down Main Street. “I got to practice fight this kid named Patrick and I kicked him in the balls!”

  John furrowed his brow. “I know that feels like something you’d want to brag about, but let’s refrain from shouting it on the city sidewalks.”

  “Dante said that I’ve the perfect legs for kickboxing,” she said in a rushed voice. “He said I’ve got reach.”

  They were on their way to The Coffee Hound to celebrate her first class with one of those frappe monstrosities. Hearing her jabber on about fighting in a sanctioned manner made John proud of her even if she was now a terror to the boys in her class. He was also relieved to think about something other than Victoria. “My sweetie is going to be known for her reach.”