All I Want For Christmas

by Emily Forbes

  See. She gave herself a mental pat on the back. You have managed to get into the Christmas spirit.

  And she had, mostly, at least, as far as anyone else except for her mum had been able to tell.

  The year ahead would be busy with studying for her exams for entrance into her specialty and then with her ongoing study while she worked in a job she still enjoyed. She was blessed with the love of her mum and Mollie. She had her health. She mentally ticked off all her blessings, knowing they should more than compensate for the loss of Tom. In time, she might be able to fool herself, forget what he could have meant. But now she knew he was the one thing she'd always wanted and the one thing that she had no chance at having.

  'Lexi!' Mollie was standing in the doorway, jumping up and down, her fairy nightie swirling about her. 'He came!'

  A sense of deja-vu floated across Lexi. Hadn't they already established that? 'I know, sweetheart, you've just unwrapped all your presents.'

  'No, not Father Christmas.'

  The front doorbell chimed and Mollie squealed again and took off down the hallway. What was going on?

  Lexi hurried after her and was only halfway down the hall by the time Mollie had the front door flung wide open and was almost shouting, 'You came back for Christmas! I told Lexi you'd be here.'

  He was there.

  Tom was here.

  He bent down to sweep Mollie into his arms. 'Hello, angel.' He held her close and her arms were wrapped tight about his neck but she was still managing to wriggle about with excitement. 'How did you know I was coming?'

  That was what Lexi wanted to know, too.

  But, most of all, what she needed to know was why?

  'I asked Father Christmas to bring you. Did you ride in hissleigh?'

  Tom's eyes met Lexi's. She hadn't moved. He answered Mollie but his eyes stayed on Lexi. 'I wanted to but he couldn't fit me in so I had to drive my car.'

  'Oh.'

  'But I brought you a present. Hop down and I'll get it.' Tom set Mollie down. His arms were unencumbered but Lexi's feet were still fixed to the floor. She hadn't taken a step since she'd seen him, and there were still a good few meters between them.

  Trina poked her head out from the lounge. She must have heard the commotion and been waiting to see what would happen. Had she decided to give them a shove in the right direction?

  'Tom, what a lovely surprise. Come in.' Tom entered and Trina dodged Lexi, still rooted to the floor, to receive Tom's kiss.

  'Merry Christmas. I hope you don't mind a surprise visit.'

  'Not at all. Come in, we're just about to have a cup of tea and finish presents. You all go in and I'll bring the tea.' She gave Lexi a little shove in the small of her back as she walked back past her to the kitchen.

  'Lexi?'

  Hearing her name brought her out of her reverie.

  'Are you ok?'

  She nodded her head, still mute. Surprise? Shock? Or fear that he wasn't here for the only reason that mattered?

  'This isn't a bad surprise?'

  'You know I'll always be glad to see you.' Which was true for her heart maybe, but not her head. She'd have to start the getting- over-Tom process from scratch if he wasn't here to tell her he'd been wrong and they could be together. But what could have altered to change his mind? She sat down firmly on the hopes that had just started to tap, tap, tap again at the door of her heart.

  Taking Mollie by the hand, he held his other hand out for Lexi and said, 'I think we'd better go finish presents. I don't want to interrupt the most important part of Mollie's Christmas. And after that...' He paused as Lexi overcame her reserve and slipped her hand into his outstretched one. 'I need to talk to you.'

  He led the way into the lounge, Trina walking in just ahead of them, and let go of their hands as he slung his backpack from his shoulder and, reaching in, drew out a present. He held it out to Mollie who grabbed it with excitement and tore off the paper, revealing a doll.

  'Just what I always wanted. Thank you.' She beamed at him as she danced a little jig around the tree with her new toy, in time to the carols playing.

  'How clever, Tom. How did you know?' Trina was ready with the right words, much like Tom.

  'I have seven nieces.' He laughed. 'Your turn now, Trina.' He handed her an envelope.

  'What is it, Gran?'

  Trina tore it open. 'A subscription to my favorite magazine. You have been paying attention, Tom. Thank you very much.'

  'What did you bring for Lexi?' asked Mollie.

  Himself, hoped Lexi, but instead he was holding out another envelope for her. She really, really hoped it wasn't another magazine subscription. She took it and slid her finger under the seal, wondering how she was going to act happy when all she wanted was the giver of gifts himself.

  'Surfing lessons?' She was laughing, bemused but amused.

  'From the local pro surfer, though, not from me.' Tom smiled at her and it was enough to send shivers through her. 'I thought we might be able to surf together one day.'

  'One day?' He was talking about the future? Doing something together? What was going on here? The day was turning out to be a very surreal, twilight zone sort of Christmas.

  'There's a year-long expiry on the lessons. I thought it might take you a while to work up to it.'

  He was almost right there, except that if it meant Tom would keep his promise and come back to see the results of his lessons, she'd go and grab her bathers right this minute.

  'Will you stay for lunch?'

  'Thanks, Trina. Lexi?' He was asking her permission?

  'Of course.' She wasn't about to send him away. If she had to get over him again she could at least know what it was like to spend a Christmas with him.

  'Mollie, come and help me set another place for Tom.' Trina bustled Mollie off as Tom took hold of Lexi's hand again, not waiting for her response this time.

  'Walk with me?' They fell into step as they left the room through the French doors onto the verandah.

  Glancing to the side, she could see he was staring at the ground, his usually smooth brow furrowed in concentration. Staying silent as they crossed the lawn, they made their way onto a narrow dirt track that meandered through the gardens then the paddocks surrounding the house and, eventually, would lead them to a stream she knew was almost dry now, in the summer. He didn't speak again until they'd made some progress along the path. The sound of carols from the house had been replaced by the morning sounds of the bush, with birdsong and the noise of rustling leaves in the light breeze.

  He stopped walking and spun her around to face him in the shade of a stand of jacaranda trees, heavy with vibrant lilac flowers. His gaze didn't leave her face. She wanted to ease herself into his arms, to press her hands against his chest and feel the beat of his heart, convince herself through touch that he really was there. But he knew her feelings and he'd been plain in his refusal to accept they had a future. Against all impulse, but in line with her common sense, she held back, waited to see why he'd come back.

  'It's good to be back.'

  'Why are you? Back, I mean.'

  'Why have you withdrawn your application?'

  Did the expression on her face show how shocked she was by his question? She was doubly glad she hadn't offered her love yet again if this was why he was there, on behalf of Nightingale Clinics to convince her to change her mind. 'You came all this way to ask me that? Why not phone?'

  'I need to tell you some things, too, in person.' He sounded too, too serious to be talking about good news, news she might want to hear. 'But, first, will you answer my question?'

  'I'm applying for the orthopedic specialty program so I need all my spare time between work and Mollie to study for the entrance exam. I won't have time for the extra work involved in being Director of Medical Services.'

  He'd looked surprised at her announcement but by the time she'd finished speaking, his grin was genuine. 'That's a big decision but I'm really happy for you. I wondered ever since I arrived here
why you'd given up that dream. You'll make a great surgeon.'

  'Thanks, I feel good about it, too.' And she did, but her decision was certain, whereas his other reasons were coming were anything but clear. 'What did you need to tell me?'

  He sat under the trees, pulling her down beside him, moving some sticks out the way before she sat. 'I know I have no right to ask you this but, please, hear me out.'

  'I'm listening.'

  'I've spent the last week just trying to sort out everything that's happened, trying to make sense of my life. That's what I was trying to do when I first came to Pelican Beach but events spiraled further out of control. Seeing you again, and then finding out about Elena's baby, I was more confused than ever.'

  Tom's choice of phrasing struck her as odd. 'Elena's baby?'

  'She had her dates wrong. The baby isn't mine.'

  'Oh.' The baby wasn't his. He wasn't going to be a father. 'Are you disappointed?'

  'No.' His shake of the head was emphatic. 'Relieved. It means I can make decisions with a clear conscience, without having to try to please everybody. You were right, you know, I have been running. But not running away.' He slung his arm about her shoulders and pulled her in close. 'Turns out for the last five years I've been running around in circles, trying to find my way back to you.'

  Lexi all but melted into his arms. That was her heart again.

  Her head was yelling at her to be cautious.

  She went with her head. 'But you left again.'

  'I thought it was the right thing, going to be a father to my child. And I'd already convinced myself you and I had no future. I wasn't prepared to take the risk. When I got back to Sydney, it eventually got through to me what I wanted most wasn't a child.' She closed her eyes as he was talking but breathed in the scent of him, breakfast tea mingled with his usual seaside smell. 'I was miserable without you but even though I'd come to my senses, I didn't know what I could do. I needed to be in Sydney for my child and I thought the price of fatherhood was going to be learning to live without the woman I love.'

  'The woman you love?'

  'Yes, that would be you, Lexi, in case you've any doubts, and I wouldn't blame you, given my idiotic behavior.'

  'You have been quite a dunce.' She grinned at him and slipped an arm across the breadth of his chest, snuggling in against him. It was all sounding too good to be true, but her head was still demanding she finish sounding him out. 'But are you sure I'm not just your fall-back option? That you won't run again the moment life throws another curved ball at us? Because it will. That's the only certainty.'

  'The only certainty is how much I love you.' He dropped a kiss on her cheek and that simple gesture was almost enough to have her dismiss all lingering doubts there and then. But she needed to hear what he had to say. They'd let enough years pass in silence because they'd both been stubborn. 'But as for running, I was so relieved when Elena told me what had happened, I was about to jump on the first plane back here, but I stopped myself. I thought you'd say exactly that—I was just running away again rather than facing my feelings. So, I decided to wait, think things through rationally so you couldn't doubt this is what I want, you are all I want. And all I need. And I promise you, the only place I ever plan on being is by your side.'

  His words were soft, a puff of wind in the morning air, but she heard the longing in his voice and she could only think of how good it felt to be back in his arms. He bent his head to hers, claiming her with a kiss that swept away all their past mistakes.

  She kissed him back, her heart beating a frantic rhythm against her ribs.

  Tom stopped kissing her, whispering in her ear, 'When we're married, I don't plan to ever leave your side.'

  Lexi felt both eyebrows head for her hairline as she stared back at him, willing her brain to catch up and process his words. Had she heard him correctly? She just had to ask.

  'Am I hearing right?'

  'Depends.' He was grinning. 'What did you hear me say?'

  She stammered over the word that she never thought she'd say. 'Ma—married.' He hadn't said that before.

  'To me?' he asked

  She nodded, mute.

  His grin lit up his whole face and suddenly she couldn't wipe the answering smile from hers.

  'I want to be with you forever, Lexi. The biggest mistake of my life has been letting you go once before. I won't do it again.’ She opened her mouth in an attempt to speak but no sound came out.

  ‘So?' he asked.

  She found her voice. 'It's yes. From the bottom of my heart.'

  She pulled away a fraction and searched his face with her eyes.

  He dropped a kiss on her curls. 'I've made a damn fool of myself trying to fight the obvious: I was made to be with you.' He favored the top of her head with another touch from his lips. 'Besides...' He lowered his voice and the gravelly note of it sent a thrill through her. 'The surf is better here than in Sydney.'

  'Here? You're going to stay here?' She hadn't even started to think of the practicalities of them being together, and it seemed she was going to be spared the dilemma.

  'Correction— we’re going to stay here. Together. I'm going to be Director of Medical Services. And my first task will be to make sure you have a favorable roster with plenty of study time. There has to be some advantage to sleeping with the boss.'

  He ducked as she aimed a playful swipe at him, their laughter ringing out through the surrounding bush.

  'Shall we head back and break the good news to your mum?'

  She slipped her arm through his and they returned to the house. She savored his warmth, the feel of his fingers threaded through hers. Now, for the first time since he'd come to Pelican Beach, the joy of being close to him wasn't tinged by the bitter- sweet thought of him leaving. This time, he was coming back to her.

  For good.

  She smiled and took in the sight of him. The worry lines had vanished from his face and he looked, when all was said and done, mighty pleased with himself. The thought made her feel safe, special and, most of all, loved.

  As they neared the house, she could hear her favorite Christmas song playing and it fitted the mood perfectly.

  ‘All I want for Christmas...'

  ‘...is you,’ he said in time with the song as he bent his head and brushed her mouth with his warm lips.

  Lexi’s heart was singing a Christmas tune all its own. No matter how many magical memories they had in store for them over the coming years—and there'd be plenty, she knew—the gifts this Christmas had brought her would never be matched.

  ‘Merry Christmas, my gorgeous girl. We'd best be married soon because there won't be many Christmases I can call you Mrs Edwards. In a few years, you'll be a surgeon and only answer to Mister,’ he said as he wrapped his arms about her, holding her against him in a tight hug. She heard herself sigh with the pleasure of it, the joy of relaxing in his embrace, a perfect fit against his side, knowing this was forever.

  'As long as you're in my Christmas stocking this time each year,’ she said, ‘you can call me anything you want.'

  'I'll stick with "gorgeous girl", then. It's how I've always thought of you.'

  As she closed her eyes and lifted her mouth to his, hungry to taste his lips in a long, slow Christmas kiss, she became aware of the birdsong and the sound of carols blended into a glorious yuletide symphony all about them. And just before he covered her mouth with his own, she whispered, 'Amen to that, and Merry Christmas, my darling Tom.'

  *** THE END ***

  If you’ve enjoyed this you can find more titles on my website www.emily-forbesauthor.com

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  You might enjoy Wedding at Pelican Beach https://books2read.com/u/3J0jWe

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  Also by Emily Forbes

  Aussie Firefighters: Too Hot to Handle

  The Firefighter's Second Chance

  The Firefighter's Proposal

  Bondi Beach Medics

  Drama for the Bondi Doc

  Pelican Beach Doctors

  All I Want For Christmas

  A Summer of Promises

  The Flying Doctors

  Love Me Again

  Love Me Forever

  Standalone

  Always and Only

  The Doctor Next Door

  Watch for more at Emily Forbes’s site.

  About the Author

  Emily Forbes is an award winning Australian author of contemporary, romantic fiction. She has written over 25 books for Harlequin and has sold over 1 million copies. She has twice been a finalist in the Australian Romantic Book of the Year Award which she won in 2013 for her novel Sydney Harbour Hospital: Bella's Wishlist.

  You can get in touch with Emily at emilyforbes@internode.on.net or visit her website at www.emily-forbesauthor.com

  Read more at Emily Forbes’s site.