Hex and the City

by Sarina Dorie

  “Just a hunch.”

  I hoped he didn’t have a way of detecting pain magic. Maybe his question was a just suspicion that Elric had planted in his head.

  “Please, can we go?” I asked. “I need to call my mom.”

  “Be ready in fifteen minutes, and I’ll go with you.” He looked me up and down. “By the way, I love the hair. Special occasion?”

  I shrugged. “Blondes have more fun.”

  I stopped in my room long enough to grab some leggings, a sweater, my purse, and a jacket before Vega and Thatch kicked me out again. During the entire trip to Lachlan Falls, Khaba continued to interrogate me. When I at last got to the Internet café, I found it crowded with students from Womby’s and had to wait for a turn at the computers. I managed to bribe Balthasar Llewelyn for five minutes of his computer time by promising to purchase an extra thirty-minute slot of time for him.

  One might have thought he would show a little more gratitude for saving him from jumping off the roof of the school and ensuring he didn’t get kicked out, but he’d apparently forgotten.

  I used Skype to call Mom. She answered on the first ring. “Clarissa?”

  “Hi, sorry. I didn’t mean for Josie to worry you. I’m fine. Everyone’s fine.”

  “Oh.” She sighed in relief. “Your friend didn’t know where you were, and she was concerned you might not show up. I told her that if you and Mr. Thatch were planning on coming for a visit, it was still early. It wouldn’t be unheard of for someone to come back late after a date.”

  “We weren’t on a date,” I said quickly.

  Balthasar nudged a student seated next to him.

  “Of course not.” Mom smiled knowingly. “I take it Josie and Mr. Thatch don’t get along?”

  “That’s putting it lightly.” I glanced at the students pretending not to listen to my conversation. “Let’s talk about them another time. I’m in an Internet café surrounded by students and don’t want to discuss anything personal.”

  “Oh. I see,” she said. “Anyhow, I’m glad you’re okay. I wasn’t too concerned about anything bad. I knew you were safe if you were with Mr. Thatch. He’s such a good man.”

  “Mom. Privacy,” I warned.

  “I’m not saying he’s a good man in a romantic way. I just mean as a coworker. You have a perfectly ordinary, platonic relationship.”

  I knew she was trying to downplay what she had just said, but she was making everything worse.

  “And speaking of you going to the art supply store here in Eugene, you didn’t tell me you were coming for a visit. Which is fine. You can drop in any time you want, but if you give me some notice, I’ll make you one of your favorite dishes. Lasagna? Wet burritos? You could invite Mr. Thatch over for dinner.”

  Students giggled in their seats nearby. It was going to be completely impossible to keep our relationship secret if they suspected. This wasn’t how I wanted Josie or Khaba to find out about us. Why had I promised not to tell my friends?

  I liked talking to my fairy godmother, but now wasn’t the time. “Mom, I have to go. The reception is bad, and my time is almost up. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Sure. Have a nice week, dear. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “Tell Mr. Thatch I said hello.”

  “Okay. I love you. Goodbye.”

  “And tell Mr. Thatch—”

  I pressed the “end call” button.

  Ben O’Sullivan popped up from one of the computers across from me. “You could invite Mr. Thatch over for dinner.”

  “I bet he’d like some wet burritos,” Balthasar said.

  Telling students to shut the fuck up wasn’t professional, even if Vega managed to get away with it. I knew any weakness I showed, they would tear into and use to try to humiliate me. I ignored the comments, paid for half an hour of Balthasar’s computer time, and left with as much dignity as a drowned cat.

  On Sunday night, I dyed my hair pink again with Josie’s help. This time I didn’t use magic on it. I used pink dye. If only my hair had been the least of my problems.

  Thatch told me he hadn’t been able to get anything useful out of Vega regarding the Princess of Lies and Truth. That didn’t surprise me. She would only get to keep her soul if she kept up her end of whatever bargain she’d been coerced into.

  Thatch and I kept our relationship professional at work. At most, he gave me a few kisses and cuddles in the evening in his office after he’d locked the door. I didn’t want to pressure him. Vega had told me I had drawn the attention of the Princess of Lies and Truth with my intimacy with Thatch. Our physical intimacy made her stronger. What if this Fae killed Thatch to hurt me? Thatch had told me our days together were limited. I would never be able to forgive myself if he got hurt because of me.

  “What do you think about us attempting a date again?” Thatch asked. “I would like to fulfill your dream of me taking you out in a public place to prove to you that I’m not ashamed to be seen in your company.”

  I hesitated, thinking of all the problems of the last date. I wanted to spend time with him intimately, but I didn’t particularly want another baptism by fire. I didn’t want all my friends checking up on me, meddling in my love life and worrying my fairy godmother. Most of all, I didn’t want to do anything that would put his life in danger.

  Thatch chuckled. “Have you changed your mind? You don’t want to be seen in public with me?”

  “That isn’t it.” I explained the extent of my concern.

  He listened, nodding in sympathy. For once, he hugged me and stroked my hair when I was upset like I’d always wanted him to do. “We don’t have to engage in sexual intercourse. We can just spend time together. Isn’t that what you are always saying you want? To bask in my presence?” He flicked his hair over his shoulder in a superior manner.

  That gave me a laugh me at least. “What do you think about doing a date in Eugene on Saturday? We could go to the art supply thrift store and drop off the supplies at my mom’s house and visit for a bit. Then we could go to the movies and have dinner before heading back?”

  “And you won’t accept any mysterious gifts this time either?” he asked.

  “Har har.”

  In the past, I had always asked Jeb’s or Khaba’s permission when leaving the school. Unlike Jeb, who had always been away fundraising, Chuck Dean did most of his work in his office and kept the door open. It was easy to seek him out and ask his permission to leave the school. He was also the safer option since I knew Khaba would be opposed to it.

  The new principal looked up from a ledger of numbers when I came in to ask him. He folded his metal-encased hands before him. “I don’t give a dead dingo’s dong what you do with your weekend. You don’t have any duties this interferes with, do you?”

  “No. In the past, I was supposed to ask an administrator.” Though Khaba had usually been my preference. “Jeb didn’t want me to leave campus without a Merlin-class Celestor accompanying me. For protection. Mr. Thatch offered to—”

  “The old principal! Do you know how tired I am of hearing about that old coot?” Steam hissed out from between the metal joints of his suit. “I’ve got better things to do than micromanage teachers.”

  I supposed I should have been thankful that Chuck Dean didn’t care. Unless of course, he did care. The Princess of Lies and Truth had appointed one principal. Why not a second? If Principal Dean was her confidant, he might tell her where I was. I had to hope that wasn’t the case. I didn’t tell him where I was going.

  I wrote my mom a letter and informed her Thatch and I would be visiting after we went to the art supply store, which I knew would thrill her. I told Khaba and Josie next. If Josie planned on calling my fairy godmother to check on my whereabouts, she would be sadly disappointed to know Thatch had escorted me to her house. If my mom didn’t slip up and overshare that Thatch was on a date with me, it would be fine.

  It was a casual date, what w
ould have been a jeans-and-T-shirt date for a normal person. But I was too addicted to striped leggings to give them up for jeans, and Thatch never left the dungeon in anything less than a three-piece suit. He transported me to my mom’s backyard, and I borrowed my mom’s car to drive us to the store. I informed her we would be going out for dinner and a movie—which was definitely not a date. In his dapper suit, Thatch looked out of place in a used art supply shop, though he enjoyed shopping for art supplies just as much as I did.

  He smiled like a normal person and seemed genuinely happy to spend time with me, yet the entire time I worried. Every crow flying in the sky I watched in case it turned out to be an emissary of the Raven Court. Each time Thatch held my hand, I worried the Princess of Lies and Truth might be drawing strength from our physical contact with each other. Outside the second-hand store, I drank in the sight of Thatch’s midnight hair tousling in the wind and his eyes the same color as the dreary Oregon sky. For once he was the one with the lighter mood.

  All the while, I hoped this wouldn’t be our last date.

  When we returned to my mom’s house and unloaded the supplies, the aroma of chocolate and lasagna greeted my nose.

  Mom came out to the living room, red sauce splattered across her Kiss Me, I’m Irish apron. “I hope you don’t mind. I thought you kids might be hungry for dinner.”

  “Mom.” I forced a smile, trying to keep my ire in check. “I told you we were going out for dinner.”

  She had always been the devil tempting me with delicious food to get me to do something for her. I didn’t know whether she had snuck love potions into this meal or she simply wanted to trap me in the house as long as she could because she missed me.

  “Yes, yes. I know you won’t be staying for dinner. But when you get back, you’ll have something I can warm up for you. If you’re hungry.”

  I crossed my arms. “We aren’t going to be hungry. We’re going to have dinner elsewhere.”

  She patted her auburn hair away from her face. “You can take some back to school, then.”

  Lucifer, her black cat, sauntered into the room, brushing up against her leg. He eyed Thatch warily.

  Thatch looked from my fairy godmother to me. “If I’m not mistaken, there are more art supplies that fell out of those boxes in the car. Clarissa, would you mind assisting me by opening that metal death box you drove us in?”

  I followed him outside, clicking the doors open with the key fob. Thatch slipped an arm around my shoulder. “Your mum obviously misses you and wants to spend time with you. I don’t mind indulging her. I am happy to share you with her . . . so long as she supplies an ample array of her culinary crafts to distract me.”

  I leaned into the coziness of his chest. “What about our date?”

  “We can go on our date after dinner.”

  I appreciated his flexibility. It was sweet. There was no reason I should have been in a grouchy mood. “Just so you know, she’s probably going to want to tag along. And her feelings are going to be hurt if we don’t invite her to the movies with us.”

  “I’m not a teenage boy. As much as you might beg, I wasn’t planning on making out with you in the theater.”

  I laughed at that. I hadn’t been planning on that, either. So what if my mom saw us hold hands? I would make her promise not to tell anyone.

  I texted Josie to let her know I was at my mom’s and even sent her a selfie to prove it, careful I conveyed no evidence of Thatch being there for dinner.

  My taste buds welcomed a homecooked meal, and conversation was pleasant. My mom didn’t try to wheedle me into doing something. I enjoyed watching Thatch work to impress my fairy godmother with happy stories about teaching and talking about my improvements in magic. I had never brought a boyfriend home before. He didn’t come right out and say he was dating me, but from the way Mom smiled at me, I could tell she knew.

  Because Thatch was a Red affinity, there was a possibility for going on a normal date in the Morty Realm without him being adversely affected by electricity. After dinner, I used the Internet to look up the movie listings and times. There were a lot of action movies, a science-fiction-horror film, and one that was fantasy. I showed him the selection. He vetoed all the genre movies.

  “What about a nice romantic comedy?” my mom asked.

  There were two comedies, but they didn’t look romantic. We watched trailers on the computer, Thatch crouched beside me, making faces.

  “You aren’t making this any easier on me. Just choose something. Anything,” I said.

  Mom came over and patted Thatch sympathetically on the shoulder. “You could watch a DVD here.”

  “I’ll look at your selection,” Thatch said.

  Mom showed him the cabinet. I looked up movies playing at the smaller theaters to see if there was anything tasteful an artist like Thatch might enjoy. I found three candidates. He came back with a movie in hand. He held it out to me. Pride and Prejudice?

  He’d picked out one of my favorite movies of all time. Not just any version of P & P, but the six-hour BBC version. It was the same DVD I’d watched on a not-so-great Morty date years before.

  I had wanted to go out on a date, but I couldn’t imagine a more perfect way to spend the evening. I spied my mom trying not to giggle behind him.

  “Was this your idea or Mom’s?” I asked him.

  “His,” she said.

  He cleared his throat. “I happen to favor the classics.”

  The three of us sat on the couch, Mom sitting a little apart from us. Lucifer crouched on the floor in front of us, giving Thatch the stink eye. Thatch’s shoulder rested against mine, but he didn’t hold my hand. That was one disadvantage of a date in my mom’s house. Already I was second-guessing my choice to not go out.

  “I’ll go and make popcorn,” Mom said, leaving the room.

  He planted a quick peck on my cheek. “Thank you,” he said.

  “For what?”

  “For indulging me. This has been a lovely evening.” He laced his fingers through mine.

  His words warmed my heart. He made me feel less guilty since I thought I’d been the one asking to be indulged. “You aren’t just saying you enjoyed tonight because nothing caught on fire?”

  “It helps.”

  Lucifer leapt onto the couch and hissed at him. I pushed the evil cat off the couch before he took out one of Thatch’s eyes. Lucifer yowled indignantly and swaggered out of the room to the kitchen. I had no doubt that if he could tattle on me, he would.

  Popcorn popped in the other room. Mom was taking a long time. At one point I smelled bacon and knew what she was doing. She was making her specialty caramel corn with bacon. I snuggled closer to Thatch, knowing that it would take her a while.

  He circled an arm around my shoulder, a question in his eyes. “This is all right?”

  I nodded. I wasn’t fifteen. It wasn’t going to kill my mom to see us sit close and cuddle. I savored the warmth of him beside me, wishing it could last forever. I tried not to imagine when our relationship might come to a premature end. I tried to lose myself in Pride and Prejudice and not think about anyone’s curses or deaths.

  An hour later, my fairy godmother returned with a giant bowl of popcorn, setting it on my lap. Thatch leaned a little bit away from me and drew away his arm, but it wasn’t like she hadn’t seen him hugging me already.

  Thatch inhaled the aroma of popcorn. I took a big handful, the sweet and salty flavors perfection on my tongue. Thatch selected a clump and crunched into it. He moaned.

  “What is this heaven?” he asked.

  Mom giggled. When the first disk ended, I washed the sticky grease off my hands and changed the DVD.

  “Are you going to stay the night with Clarissa, Mr. Thatch?” she asked.

  “No, I’ll leave Clarissa here and come back for her in the morning,” he said.

  That hadn’t been part of the plan. We were supposed to go back together. Whether it was th
e complacency of my mom’s cooking or Thatch’s touch, I didn’t mind.

  “Nonsense. You’ll overexert yourself traveling like you do. You should rest. Clarissa, be a dear and get Mr. Thatch something comfortable to change into. I’ll get an extra toothbrush from the garage.”

  “I don’t want to inconvenience you,” he said, looking to me.

  Mom bustled off cheerfully.

  “Do you want to stay the night?” I asked.

  “Where would I sleep?”

  “On the couch,” Mom shouted from the garage.

  “It would be a welcome respite after exerting myself from traveling.” From the way he tried not to laugh, I knew the idea of that had to be a joke to him.

  I took him to my old bedroom and searched the drawers for a T-shirt that might fit him. The only one was a black-and-green Slytherin shirt I’d gotten at a garage sale that was too large for me, but I’d kept it because I was a Harry Potter fan. None of my pajama bottoms would fit. I changed in the bathroom and brushed my teeth, coming back to find him in a pair of pink sweat pants that ended at his knees. They were drawstring and baggy enough they fit him. I’d probably gotten them from the same garage sale.

  The word “Princess” was stamped across the seat of the pants in glittery pink letters. I nodded approvingly.

  After he’d had his turn in the bathroom, we gathered back at the couch to watch disc two.

  Mom kissed me good night and planted a kiss on the crown of Thatch’s head. “Good night, kids. I’ll see you in the morning.” She called Lucifer to follow her.

  Reluctantly the cat did so.

  I spread out the blankets over Thatch’s lap and snuggled up to him.

  He placed an arm around me and kissed my cheek. “This is a record for you. We’ve managed to spend four hours together without you catching on fire or getting yourself cursed.”

  I poked him. “Shush. Don’t jinx it.” I didn’t want to think about the Princess of Lies and Truth. I wanted to pretend we were safe in the Morty Realm where she couldn’t spy on us with all the electronics. I could almost fantasize this date lasting forever.