True to Me

by Kay Bratt

  They moved on to Black Sand Beach, and Liam showed her the cave, where he snapped a few photos of her in the shadows before leading her back to the truck.

  “You’re getting a blur of a tour, but we can always come back to linger if you find a favorite place,” he told her.

  “That would be nice,” she said, knowing that her time was running out, and she doubted she’d have much more opportunity to linger anywhere. Or would she? Maybe she really didn’t need to rush home now.

  In the truck she settled back, uncomfortably aware of all that had changed since the night before.

  “I’m trying to get us to Ohe‘o Gulch before the crowds get too thick,” he said, speeding up.

  “I haven’t heard of that.”

  “That’s the old name. You probably know it by Seven Sacred Pools. It’s in the Haleakalā National Park and one of the most popular sites of East Maui. I used to cliff-jump there when I was a kid. Before it got famous and the crowds came.”

  “I can’t wait to see it,” she said. It was nice imagining him as a happy child, living the laid-back life that she’d always thought Hawaiians must live.

  She checked her phone again but still couldn’t get a signal. She told herself she was not looking to see if Ethan had sent her any more messages, but she could only lie to herself for so long.

  “You okay over there?” Liam asked her when a sigh escaped her as she put her phone away for the tenth time. He glanced over at her for a second, his brow furrowed. “You sure are quiet.”

  “Yeah,” she said. “Just wondering if Auntie Wang has heard anything.”

  And if my lying, cheating boyfriend has anything else to say, she thought as she tried to muster up a smile. She couldn’t do it and gave up.

  “No cell phone reception up here,” he said.

  “What do people who live up here do for communication?”

  He shrugged. “They can get landlines in their homes for the most part, but on the roads it’s spotty, and Wi-Fi isn’t a given up here. Many don’t have the internet and don’t care.”

  “I can’t imagine living in such a remote area,” Quinn said.

  Suddenly a pickup truck behind them laid on the horn and came careening around them, and Liam pulled to the side.

  Just when Quinn thought he was going to cuss at Liam for going so slow, the driver threw up the island hand signal.

  “That was scary,” she said, breathing out slowly.

  “You think so? He knows by my truck that I’m a local. If we had been in your rental car, he might not have been so friendly.”

  If that was friendly, Quinn hated to see the opposite.

  Liam looked over at her. “Most of the Hana people have been here for generations. Some of them feel a bit irritated at tourists now and then. Invading their paradise, you know?”

  She could understand that. It had to be hard for the families who really had ties to the island. So many strangers traipsing around their lands that were once private.

  “How do you feel about the tourism here?” she asked.

  He looked over and chuckled. “I don’t mind, except for the ones who come over and do stupid things.”

  “Like?”

  “Littering our beaches. Touching our wild honu—turtles, I mean—or getting too close to them to take a photo. Those kinds of things. Some tourists are hell-bent to go against the Hawaiian value of living pono.”

  “Living pono?” she asked. He said the most interesting things. Tidbits she couldn’t find in a travel book. Quinn could listen to him talk for hours and never get bored.

  “That means making a constant conscious decision to do the right thing. In terms of self, others, and, for Hawaiians, most importantly the environment. The land and the sea are everything. Without them, we are nothing. We must all strive to live pono, or soon there will be nothing left.”

  He sounded somber.

  “That’s a beautiful way to think about living your life,” Quinn said, matching his reverent tone. On the mainland it didn’t seem important to many people to be reverent about the land. She’d always tried to do the right thing herself but didn’t know there was an official name for it. That it was considered a way of life. And one from her mother’s heritage at that.

  Finally, they pulled into the national park, and Liam paid, then parked. It wasn’t too crowded, and they made quick time on the trail to the pools.

  “What the—” He stopped at a metal gate blocking off access to the trail that led down to the pools.

  A sign posted said they were closed because of recent landslides.

  “It’s okay,” Quinn said, seeing the disappointment on Liam’s face as his shoulders slumped in defeat.

  He looked around. “No, it’s not. I grew up swimming in those pools and jumping off those exact rocks. They aren’t locking me out.”

  “But those boys you lectured . . . ,” Quinn said, trailing off.

  “Those boys were young and stupid. They haven’t lived long enough to respect the cliffs and water. I know what I’m doing.”

  Before Quinn could argue, he jumped the fence, then turned around and held his arms out. “Come on.”

  She shook her head. “Isn’t this federal land? I don’t want to go to jail for trespassing.”

  He beckoned her closer. “Quinn. Just climb, and I’ll catch you on this side. No one’s going to jail. Anyway, I know all the workers here if we did get caught.”

  She hesitated. She was a rule follower. Always had been. But his face. He looked so hopeful. All day he’d wanted to show her this one special place more than any other.

  First a deep breath, then she climbed the fence and threw a leg over.

  He caught her around her waist and set her gently down on the other side, as though she weighed less than a feather—a real boost for her bruised ego of always feeling like she needed to lose a good fifteen.

  Quickly she followed behind him, glancing every now and then up at the trail to see if any federal agents were running after them. She felt like such a criminal, but honestly it also gave her a little thrill.

  Down at the pool Liam found a bush with dainty pink flowers and plucked one off, then threw it in the water. He watched it carefully before stripping off his shirt and diving in, surprising her with his sudden disappearance.

  She sat down by the water and watched him reappear.

  He shook the water off his head and wiped his face, then grinned up at her.

  “Want to come in?”

  “Not today. But what’s with the flower?” she asked.

  “It’s an offering. Hawaiian legend says before swimming in these pools, you should make an offering to the resident mo’o. Those are the old lizards. If the flower disappears, you don’t have permission, and it’s a warning to stay away. If it floats, it’s safe.”

  With another look at the flower, he waded to the far side and began climbing the rocks. As Quinn watched, he reached one of the highest points, and then, as she held her breath, he dived off, making barely a ripple as he hit the water.

  He was a different sort of athlete from Ethan. Smooth. Quiet. Humble.

  With Liam, it didn’t feel like he was showing off. It just felt natural to see him do the things he’d been doing his whole life, while respecting the environment around him as a living thing.

  She was glad he’d rushed the road to Hana to get her to the pools before too many people arrived. It was the most enchanting place she’d ever been. As he climbed and dove again, then swam out, she gazed at the water, her arms hugging her legs close to her chest.

  There were times in Quinn’s life when she’d felt sad. Probably never more so than the day her mother had given up her battle. But for the most part, she tried to keep a positive outlook. Ethan didn’t like for her to come off as melancholy or pouting. For him she always tried to hold that part of herself inside. Hidden.

  She was in such deep thought that Liam had climbed out of the water and was beside her before she realized it.

&n
bsp; “I know you’re unhappy today,” he said. “I don’t know why, and I don’t need to know. But I’m here if you want to talk.”

  She felt tears sting the back of her throat. She swallowed, pushing the lump down. His soft words shattered her facade, and she didn’t like it. Or wasn’t used to it. Never in her life had she talked to a man about her emotions. It felt alien to her.

  “Thank you,” she finally mustered. She wouldn’t disrespect him by denying his acknowledgment.

  When she said nothing else, he stood and held a hand down.

  “Would you like to see a magical place before we go?” he asked.

  They locked eyes, and then she took his hand. “Yes, I’d like that. I think I could use a little magic today.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Liam had promised her magic, and he made good on it. Quinn followed him carefully as he led her up the Pipiwai Trail, impressed by how he held back wayward branches or took her hand to help her over the difficult spots.

  She wasn’t much of a hiker, and the sign that stated it was nearly two miles up and two miles down worried her. But soon she was glad she’d put the anxiety aside and decided to live in the moment.

  The jungle was in itself a wonderfully beautiful place, the many lush shades of green and scattered exotic flowers a beautiful backdrop to some of the prettiest scenery Quinn had ever seen. She especially enjoyed the tiny bridges here and there with the babbling creeks underneath. The sounds of the wind, water, birds, and unseen insects made an enchanting orchestra as they climbed past rocks and some smaller falls.

  On the way up they passed a famous old banyan tree, and it was remarkable to see, but the peace she felt as they entered the bamboo forest was indescribable. They stood there for a time, taking in the nature around them. Quinn appreciated that Liam didn’t try to talk, picking up on her need to be quiet and contemplative. Soon she realized there was another reason for his quietness. His face lit up with a victorious smile when the wind ran through the bamboo trees, creating a soft and melodious song as the bamboo stalks swayed gently up against each other.

  Quinn stood so still to listen more intently that a dragonfly flew around her and settled on her shoulder for a few seconds before lifting off again.

  The bamboo forest was definitely a place of wonder. Almost religiously so. She was filled with gratitude to Liam for bringing her there. He might think it silly if she spoke what she was feeling, but he had no idea how much her soul had needed that moment of peace.

  Her mood lifted, and they continued up the trail, laughing as she tripped on the wooden planks placed strategically in the wetter areas of the path.

  “If I can get you out on a board, we’ll strengthen your sense of balance on the water,” he teased, just as his voice was drowned out by the enormity of the last waterfall they approached.

  She was feeling overheated and wiped the sweat from her brow. But she trudged on. She knew they were getting close to the main falls when the bamboo began to thin and the trees started coming back.

  “Waimoku Falls,” Liam yelled. “Water that recognizes no friend. Four hundred feet high, straight drop to the bottom. On her strongest days she can amputate a limb if you get in her way.”

  Terrifying but also stunning. Those were the most descriptive words that Quinn could think of, though she said nothing as she looked. She knew her words would get lost in the sound of the rushing water.

  He moved closer to her.

  The mist and the wind created from the falling water instantly cooled her, and it was so refreshing.

  “We used to swim and play under it. But too many tourists come now. Too much of a liability.”

  He sounded sad, and it made Quinn feel terrible for the native people of Maui whose lives had been changed so much by the tourism industry swooping down and taking over.

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  He shrugged. “See those boulders?” He pointed to a gathering of huge rocks, each the size of a golf cart near the pools. Then he pointed up. “That’s where those came from. Even a small rock falling can kill you from that far up. So I understand why they’ve had to do it. But many don’t heed the warnings or the threat of a fine. Some pay the price with their lives. It’s much more dangerous than the Seven Pools.”

  Quinn thought about his helping her over the fence to lead her to the pools earlier. He hadn’t held the same reserve back there. Reflecting on risk and taking in dangerous places made her think about Ethan. All her troubles came flooding back, instantly filling her with dread.

  She couldn’t just gallivant all over Maui and ignore everything that was going on. The man she had been planning on spending the rest of her life with had betrayed her. The house she bought was inhabited by a family who had deep roots there. And her search for her birth father had thus far netted absolutely nothing.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” Liam said. “You look like all the wind just got sucked out of your sails.”

  She didn’t want to look him in the face. She was sure that her eyes were filling with tears. Probably tears of self-pity. And that disgusted her. She needed to get her life under control. Or at least the parts of it where it was possible to do that.

  Figuring out what to do about Ethan would have to wait. She couldn’t deal with him from thousands of miles away, and honestly, she didn’t even want to. Not today. And maybe not even tomorrow.

  “Quinn?” Liam said.

  “I’m fine,” she said. “Nothing’s wrong. I’d better be getting back to the house, though. I’d like to see what Auntie Wang found out, and we need to go over the task list for the house again. Maybe you can give me a more firm date of completion. I really need to make some plans.”

  The drive home was quiet. Quinn had no words to make small talk, and Liam obviously felt the same. The vibe was off, and they both knew it. And it was her fault. A few times she wished he’d just talk. He could appease her curiosity about his family situation and why he was single. She’d never ask. That’d be too much.

  But she’d love to know.

  Not to mention if he filled the truck with his own story, it would help her forget hers. But that didn’t happen, and by the time they were pulling into Maria’s driveway an hour later, Quinn was in a state of despair about how wrecked her life was. How was she going to forgive Ethan for what he’d done? And what if this thing with Gina wasn’t a fling? What if he loved her?

  She needed to get home before it was too late. Before all she’d worked so hard for was completely gone.

  In the next second, she told herself she was a complete fool.

  She didn’t know what she wanted. Or what to do.

  Liam turned off the ignition, but his hands went straight back to the wheel.

  “I hope I was an acceptable tour guide.” He said it slowly and solemnly.

  She was gathering up her backpack and her empty water bottle, but she paused.

  “Of course you were. I’ve had the best day. Really, it was so nice of you to take me to see everything,” she said, feeling as though her silence had hurt his feelings. “It was amazing.”

  He nodded, but he didn’t look convinced.

  His expression was heartbreaking. Like a disappointed little boy. But one with a strong jawline and handsome profile.

  She stumbled over her words now.

  “I—I’m sorry, Liam. I didn’t mean to slip into a mood. It’s just that I have a lot going on. Stuff that has nothing to do with the stress of the house. It’s just a—it’s a lot.”

  He looked at her.

  “I thought after our long day together, we were becoming friends. But maybe you need more time.”

  “More time for what?”

  This time a sigh accompanied his reply. “To trust me.”

  With that, he climbed out of the truck and came around and opened her door. Quinn stepped out, feeling awkward. She wanted to tell Liam that she did trust him. She was the confusing one.

  Before she could say anything else, the front door
opened and Maria was there, waving at them to hurry.

  “Quinn, haven’t you checked your phone?” she said. “We’ve been trying to call you!”

  Her phone. Quinn had turned it on silent in case Ethan started sending her messages again, and she hadn’t even thought to check it on the way home. Now she pulled it out and touched the screen.

  Six missed calls from Auntie Wang and three from Maria.

  Her stomach dropped.

  Such urgency could mean only one thing. There must’ve been a reply from the anonymous match. She bade them both goodbye and headed for the privacy of the cottage to call the woman back, taking deep breaths as she went in an attempt to still the sudden flapping of butterflies in her stomach.

  This could mean everything.

  Chapter Fifteen

  A week in Maui had flown by, but finally something was happening. Quinn pressed the “End” button and put her phone down. She couldn’t believe it, but she had a meeting set up with the anonymous match. Auntie Wang said he wanted to talk to her in person before giving her any information. They set it for Thursday, which meant in three days she’d know something. Finally.

  He wanted to meet at a restaurant in Napili called the Sea House and told Auntie Wang to have Quinn sit on the patio and order a strawberry daiquiri with two umbrellas so that he’d know it was her.

  It was all so melodramatic.

  She stood and went to the window. She could see across the lanai and into the house. Maria, Kupuna, and Alani were having dinner. Liam had gone home, claiming he was tired and had some work calls to make. Quinn had declined the invitation to eat and made a beeline for the privacy of the cottage to call Auntie Wang back.

  Now things were getting real.

  They still didn’t know what sort of connection the man was, other than it was close. Close could mean an uncle. A brother. Or—her breath caught as she whispered the words to the empty room—“a father.”

  Quinn knew she should be feeling elated, but she wasn’t.

  All she felt was terror.

  A part of her wished that Liam had stayed, but the other part, the side that knew herself so well, knew she wouldn’t have told him. It was too personal, and she couldn’t deny that he wasn’t completely in the friend zone after the day they’d spent together. Sharing something so important with him would move him closer into territory that wasn’t fair to Ethan when—or if—she decided she wanted to work it out.