You'll Know in Your Heart (The Gods Made Me Do It Book 7)

by Lisa Oliver

  “Perhaps you misunderstood my words…”

  “You have the audacity to sit there and claim I misunderstood you?” Baby was trembling so hard he could barely get his words out straight. “I heard what you said. All that fucking around you claim I do hasn’t impacted my ears. You will make things right, you said. Because you’re some all-powerful god, older than me, older than sin clearly, and if you say things are going to be right, then you wave your magic hand and make it so.”

  Baby pulled on his powers. He had to leave. He wasn’t sure where he was going yet, but he knew he wasn’t going to stand in Owen’s glow a moment longer. “You can keep your waving hands away from me. I don’t know what the fuck the Fates were thinking, but no person, no being of any kind deserves to be seen as a project that can be fixed by the one meant to love them for all eternity. Is that why you asked me about your looks? Did you think if you fucked me often enough, you’d keep me compliant and out of trouble? For your information, asshole, I don’t go looking for trouble. It finds me. I don’t hunt down fucks, people come onto me. And do you know, do you have the slightest idea what I was hoping for if I ever found my mate one day?”

  Owen just tilted his head slightly. Maybe he was confused, maybe no one had ever told him off before, but Baby was on a roll and he was going to be heard.

  “I was looking for a person who would love me unconditionally for the first and only time in my life; who would talk to me and treat me like I was someone special. I wanted someone to see past my looks and want to get to know the real me. The person I am inside who makes a point of keeping up to date with local news, just so I have something to talk to people about. Someone who actually cares about life outside of sex. But you think you already know all about me, don’t you? You’ve watched me all this time, and don’t think I’ve forgotten about the fact you could have claimed me anytime in the past five hundred years if you could be bothered, but regardless, you watched, you saw, and you thought you knew me. You haven’t even scratched the surface of who I am, asshole. I doubt you ever will.”

  Baby left in a swirl of angry particles. He had no choice. He was so angry he was ready to start hitting someone, and that was not something he ever did. So, he left, allowing his particles to reform on the beach just east of Artemas’ house. I need a house of my own, he thought, looking longingly at the sea. I can’t go down there, I can’t live under Poseidon’s rule. It has to be up here. Somewhere on earth. Come on, use your brain, Baby. Where the fuck is it daylight right now? Britain? Europe? Scotland maybe? North it is. Baby smiled as his body dissolved into particles once more.

  /~/~/~/~/

  Owen wasn’t sure how long he’d sat after Baby had left in a whirl of angry words and pained feelings. When he became conscious of his surroundings again, the air was starting to heat up considerably, and the birds were already tweeting as they flitted about looking for an early morning breakfast. His sigh was long and heartfelt.

  I didn’t handle that well. After intense soul searching, Owen was prepared to admit, at least to himself, that maybe he’d been so worried about how he appeared to his much younger and very beautiful mate, that he hadn’t taken the time to prepare what he would say when they met. He’d forgotten, and his arrogance was likely the cause of that too, that Baby didn’t share his soul with an animal spirit. Baby’s body didn’t thrum from longing just picking up his scent. Like mine does.

  He didn’t even recognize the significance of my wearing a suit. But then, when Owen had thought about it, he realized putting so much emphasis on the clothes he was wearing was a silly idea too. Baby had no way of knowing how he usually dressed.

  The thing was, Owen was stumped. He didn’t have a plan B. He honestly thought, their first meeting was the only hurdle he’d have to overcome – because you believed you already knew all about him. If there was one thing Baby’s barbed words had brought home to him was that Baby believed he had hidden depths and he felt those depths were unappreciated.

  Did I miss something? Owen had been so sure he was the answer to Baby’s many problems. Poseidon didn’t care about his youngest son, and Himeros was only using him for his evil little schemes. Baby’s brothers were always too busy to be there for him, and that was what Owen had planned to do. Be there for him. The copious sex Baby had engaged in over the years was understandable – Himeros was the god of desire after all – but I’d relegated Poseidon’s influence to just being about a sexual creature as well.

  Yet Owen knew, Poseidon was so much more than the number of sexual partners he’d had in his immortal life. He genuinely cared for all life under his domain, just as Owen did his. He was also a fair and just man, as Owen had seen during the last Gods meeting, he’d observed but hadn’t taken part in. Sei’s passionate defense of the young shifter Orin, who’d somehow become the gods’ Keeper, was articulate and persuasive. The god was not just a pretty face, although his face had been known to disarm many who hadn’t taken the time to see the man beneath it. Is it possible I ignored that Baby could be like that too?

  It wasn’t just Poseidon who was more than he appeared. Hades could apparently embrace life with a chipmunk shifter. Thor, the god of thunder, gave birth to the twins blessed to him by the Fates. Lasse had gone from fighting demons and climbing mountains to changing diapers, and even Death himself had a wolf shifter mate he adored.

  The key was the mates those hardened gods had found. Owen had never considered that side of things before. In all his thinking about Baby, he’d decided early on it was Baby who would have to change his behavior, to suit me. Because Owen, in his godawful arrogance he wore like a second skin, believed the way he lived his life was perfect and beyond reproach. In his head, Baby needed guidance, a firm hand, someone to watch out for him, and keep him away from trouble. Owen thought he could be the being who could do all that.

  But when Owen had pictured their first meeting, he had missed out on so many crucial details – details that derailed his speech and rendered him stupid. The way Baby’s scent called to him, setting his entire body aflame. The way his inner beast had not only woken as if from a deep slumber but roared and demanded to be set free. The deep physical pain Owen felt, sensing his mate’s sadness and lack of worth.

  “I have to do something.” The birds all hushed at his words, but then, as birds do, they went back to their busy lives. “I’m the one who has to change.” Owen didn’t have a clue how he could do it, but as he spirited himself, and his chair, back to his icy palace, he was determined to learn fast. Now his beast was awake, having scented their mate, he would not rest until Baby was in his arms.

  Chapter Five

  “This place will work for me perfectly.” Baby tried to keep his smile from shining too much at the realtor, as he took in the abandoned estate. He’d glamored his appearance, slightly, but it seemed it might not have been enough.

  The realtor, a no-nonsense woman, in her stout walking boots and her tweed skirt and matching jacket grumbled. “I’ve made it plain; this place needs a lot of work and it’s not always easy to get handymen out here especially when the road’s bad. The plumbing is likely rusted pipes and the electricity up here is sketchy when the storms come through. There’s none of that internet young people seem to enjoy these days…”

  “It’s perfect for me,” Baby interrupted the long list of complaints the woman had listed about the house before he’d even seen it. “I’m… I’m a writer. I like the remote living and the views here are truly inspirational.”

  “Yeah, you might be right about the views, but there’ll be a frost coming tomorrow according to my bones, and they never lie. By next week this place will be under a foot of snow.”

  “Then it’s wonderful that the previous owner got the chimneys cleaned and wood laid in.” Baby wasn’t going to be deterred. His magic would see that he’d be cozy, but there were a lot of the renovations he intended to do by hand. Rather than being a project for someone else, he decided to take one on and as it was too much of a stra
in, staying glamored so he could be around people, he’d be doing it alone. “Shall we go back to the office and sign the papers? I want to be moved in before that snow you predicted arrives.”

  “You’ll have family with you, when you move?” The realtor looked around the bleak landscape. Not a single house, not even a barn, just miles upon miles of heather and bracken.

  “I’m sure my family will be popping in from time to time,” Baby said breezily, thinking not if I don’t tell them my new address. “I know this is very irregular, and I apologize for not going through the proper channels, but this place calls to my heart, you know? I just had to have it.”

  Looking him up and down, the realtor sniffed. “It’s clear you’re not from around here, but the locals will be friendly enough provided you don’t have any of those airs and graces young people seem fond of throwing around.”

  I’m older than you by centuries, Baby thought, but as the realtor was walking back to the rugged jeep that had clearly seen better days, he didn’t want to argue. The driveway was nothing more than a dirt track, and Baby knew he’d be getting a jeep or some kind of all-terrain vehicle of his own. Learning to drive will be fun, and it’s not as though I can hit anything out here.

  On the drive back to Thurso, the realtor pointed out places of interest – the supermarket ‘that won’t deliver all the way out there, so don’t waste your breath asking them’, the post office where he could apparently get a PO box seeing as the mail delivery didn’t come out to his house either. Hardware, bakery, banks, pharmacy and boutique shops; Thurso was a quiet town with a lot of businesses. The realtor even pointed out a health and wholefoods shop, ‘if you’re into that sort of thing’.

  While Baby longed to mingle with the crowd he saw heading into a local pub, he forced himself to stay focused. I’m a changed man, he told himself firmly, and that vow kept him going through the tedious paperwork, the paying of cash (which was the only time the Realtor showed her surprise) and the endless waiting around until the six keys relating to the property were found. But when Baby left the council buildings, his pants pocket was swollen with keys, and the deed to his new house and the surrounding hundred acres sitting in his jacket, he finally felt like a god with a purpose.

  Now, to find one of those jeeps, buy some supplies so I don’t look too out of place, and head for home. My new home.

  /~/~/~/~/

  “I see your new suit didn’t have the desired effect.” Caruthers’ scathing tones jolted Owen out of his trance. He was sitting, his hand resting on his oracle stone, trying to work out where Baby had run to. All he was getting the impression of was dust, wood and a lot of cute cursing on Baby’s part. Caruthers’ rude intrusion was not welcome.

  “You didn’t bring the flighty god back with you, and after all the preparations I made for him as well. I told you it would all be wasted. I sincerely hope now you’ve seen that flighty little slut in person, you’ve come to your senses and realized he was never meant for you at all. Things can go back to normal at last.”

  Taking the time to mentally thank his spirit guides, Owen removed his hand slowly off the oracle stone. Opening his eyes, Owen jolted as he became aware that his spirit animal was staring at Caruthers as if he was lunch. For centuries, Owen had relied on his other senses to “see” as his animal had slumbered, but with his spirit’s help he could make out images, shapes, and movement in shades of grey. The shock on Caruthers’ face was plain enough, even in grey scale.

  “My gods, your eyes. Your animal spirit is staring at me. My Lord.” Caruthers’ hands flew to his face. “What does this mean? What did that slut do that was so heinous as to waken your sleeping beast?”

  “Do you value breathing, Caruthers?” Owen stood up in one fluid motion. He was naked except for a loin cloth for modesty’s sake. “Are you truly thankful for every beat of your heart, for the thrum of life-giving blood in your veins?” The growl in his voice was unmistakable.

  “My Lord, you seriously need to take your beast outside.” Caruthers backed away. “It has been too long. I can feel your agitation from here. He needs to run, to hunt and feed. Outside, so no one gets hurt.”

  You’re the only one here. “My prey is right in front of me.” Owen crossed the distance in a heartbeat. Grabbing Caruthers by the throat, he lifted him, his fingers squeezing where they gripped his neck. “The son of Poseidon and Himeros is my fated mate.” Owen kept his words slow and even. “I have known this for more than a thousand years and last night it was proven to me. My beast woke without provocation, my nose filled with Baby’s amazing scent, and for the first time in eons I feel truly alive. If I hear one more word against him, one slur, or the slightest rude remark, that heartbeat you take for granted, the blood you hold so close, your breathing which you barely ever think about, will all be gone. You’ll cease to exist. I will turn you to dust and send your spirit into the void, never to continue its journey.”

  “My Lord, you can’t.” Caruthers’ feet were kicking out, his hands clawing at Owen’s fingers. His face was darkening, that much Owen could tell but he didn’t let go. “You created me,” Caruthers gasped. “You plucked my soul from the ether and gave me life so you… you’d never be alone. I’ve done that. I’ve remained faithful… in your service. My loyalty is… only… to you.”

  Owen snarled, dropping Caruthers on the stone floor. “You spout words of loyalty and know nothing about it. Any person who cared as you claimed, would be overjoyed I had a mate.”

  Caruthers was coughing, rubbing his throat. “I’ve always known you had one. You told me yourself. But you never showed anything in word or deed about wanting to claim him, and...” Caruthers coughed again. “After seeing his debauched behavior, I was the only soul who understood why you’ve rejected him all this time. He’s not for you, he’s nothing like you and… and…” Caruthers looked up. “If telling you the truth means you end my life, then so be it.”

  Owen could sense a lot of emotion coming from his companion, not all of them as heroic as his bold words. But it was Owen’s animal side that was ruling the show now, fixated on only one thing – finding Baby. Eliminating possible threats to their mating was just a side show, and one that needed to be taken care of quickly. “You will leave here. I have paid you well over the centuries and it’s not as though you’ve had to spend the money on anything, so you can leave and find a new place of your own. I will not allow you to undo all the hard work I’m willing to put in, to encourage Baby to accept my claim on his person. I thought I knew him. Clearly, you thought the same thing. But Baby is a far more complex being than I ever imagined and while I can accept that, and will adjust accordingly, from the terms you use to refer to him, and your persistence that he is not right for me, shows you are incapable of making such changes for yourself.”

  A wave of sadness and shock surrounded Caruthers’ body, but there was a lot of anger there too. “Where would you have me go? I’ve known no life outside this castle, spoken rarely to anyone but you. I was made for you, by you, to be here with you. I don’t know any other way of life.”

  “You learned to be a paid companion for me and ran my home efficiently. Those are useful skills. As for anything else, you will have to learn, much as I will. Who knows,” Owen’s smile wasn’t strictly sunshine and unicorns, “perhaps if you venture from this castle, you’ll find a mate of your own. Won’t that be an adventure.”

  He made to leave, but Caruthers reached out, grabbing his ankle and holding tight. The anger in his aura far outweighed any other emotion now. “That god will leave you. After spending months sitting here with you not saying a word or sharing any ounce of your attention; living in this isolation, seeing nothing but ice for three quarters of the year – he will leave you before winter passes. Only a fool would hide out here forever and enjoy it.”

  “That doesn’t say a lot about you, then, does it? I know I have to change,” Owen swung his ankle out of his companion’s grasp. “I’m embracing the idea. Mates are for enjoyin
g life with, and I fully intend to enjoy mine with Baby. You, however, will not be around to see it. Now go.”

  “He will hate you!” Caruthers screamed as Owen left the room. “He will be bored within a week. He will come to despise who you are, and what will you do then, without me? Answer me, damn it. What will you do without me then?”

  Owen had nothing to say, so he kept on walking. Admittedly, his original plan for his mate involved his companion/butler/secretary staying right where he was – running his household and taking care of his correspondence, while he spent his time settling Baby’s erratic behavior.

  But that was when Owen believed the isolation of his home would be ideally suited to Baby, a means of removing outside temptations as he learned to curb his wayward behaviors. That was then. This was now, and Owen knew a lot of the changes that would follow in the weeks to come would be for him and Baby. If a new house was needed, Owen would provide. But that new house would come with a household of staff. The only individual who would presume to tell him how to live his life from now on, would be Baby.

  Chapter Six

  Baby looked up from the front door frame he was trying to fix as he heard the unmistakable sound of a large motorcycle. He wasn’t concerned. No human or paranormal could do him any harm. It’s just in the three days since he’d moved into his new home, it was the first vehicle he’d heard apart from his own. It was likely a lost traveler seeking directions to town, or a neighbor being nosy, but it was unusual enough to be noticeable. Looking down at his tattered jeans, and bulky hoodie, Baby shrugged and pulling the door mostly closed so no one could look at what his magic had done inside his home, he focused on the split wood of the frame.