You'll Know in Your Heart (The Gods Made Me Do It Book 7)

by Lisa Oliver

Panting hard, Baby gave one last pull on the ice, then used his power from the lord of the sea to escape. He landed, cold, shivering, his shoulder still bleeding from where it’d clipped him, in the middle of his bed back in Thurso. “Why does all this bad shit always happen to me?” he whimpered as tears fell in a rush down his still frozen cheeks.

  /~/~/~/~/

  Back in the Arctic, a huge beast stood among the wreckage of the palace, bellowing his displeasure and grief from his godly side. His home was in tatters, but Owen knew he only had himself to blame.

  How could you? Owen tried to force a shift back, but the beast was being stubborn. You hurt him. Scared him. He’ll never want us now.

  You brought him here to claim.

  I brought him here to eat, to sit, to talk…

  Bullshit! You wanted him.

  Of course, I did, but not like this! Giving up on his struggle to get the beast to morph back naturally, Owen pulled on the one power that made him different from all others. His human form pulled away – he wasn’t known as a twin spirit for nothing –unlike other shifters, or gods, Owen truly did have two forms.

  “You had no right.” Owen punched the beast in the mouth. “All day I spent trying to encourage our lovely mate to trust us.” His fist lashed out again. Fury like he’d never felt before, just from imagining Baby’s terrified and panicked face, made him want to pummel his animal side to the ground.

  We are the Great One. We do not encourage, the beast sneered, knocking Owen’s hands away with a stomp and a roar.

  “We care, we love, we cherish our mate.” Owen grabbed his beast’s head in his hands. “We. Do. No. Harm!”

  He’s a god. He can’t be harmed.

  “Sniff. Use your senses. He was bleeding when he left, full of panic and pain, from the physical and mental anguish we caused. You had no right to take over just because I’d brought him home.”

  He belongs here. He’s our mate. But Owen could tell the fight had gone out of his beast as the massive animal dropped his front feet to the floor. Hundreds of years. A thousand of your years you made me wait for our mate and I had no choice but to agree. Now he was here, and you did not claim him. How much more torture would you put me through?

  “You’ve seen, more than me, you see how he is. Surely you felt his panic. His aura. I’ve never felt so much distress. Why didn’t you stop?”

  I’ve waited so long, the beast moaned quietly. Generations and generations, I’ve waited for the one meant for us. How much longer did you expect me to wait for the pleasure of sinking my teeth into his lovely neck, to know with one sniff that he’ll smell of us for all eternity? He was here, ready for the taking. I’ve been smelling his sweet arousal all day!

  “He was scared when he landed here.” Owen looked around at the piles of ice which was all that was left of his shattered home. “And there’s a chance he might have a spot of claustrophobia in his makeup. We didn’t know that until today.”

  We must go to him. You can’t make me wait for this claim any longer.

  “I doubt he will see us,” and that more than anything crushed Owen’s heart. As soon as he’d landed in his domain, he knew he’d made a mistake. His beast was stronger in his realm than anywhere else. His feet had barely touched the floor when his animal side had taken over. Words he’d never dreamed of saying, spilling from his mouth in a growl – clothes disappearing, because the beast hated to wear them, especially when on the prowl.

  The weird thing was, his beast would never harm a hair on Baby’s head, ever. But as he played the scene over in his mind, Owen could see how it looked, how he had appeared to his frightened mate. The fact Baby withstood his power, pulled on his own, when no other god or being would have been able to, spoke volumes. His mate had a strong spirit. Owen only prayed he hadn’t broken him.

  Chapter Nine

  Baby wasn’t aware of time passing, although he knew it had. He stayed, curled up on his bed, covered in a mound of blankets, only the chill in the air letting him know the threatened snow had arrived. He was numb, his spirit frozen as his body had been back in Owen’s lair. In all he’d heard, in all he’d seen, in at times sickening clarity, mates did not hurt each other. Ever. Even Poseidon, when he raged to the Fates about being tied to Claude, never actually hurt his mate, except by his absence and that was only short term. Since then, Sei had been devoted to his mate, and Claude to him.

  There must be something wrong with me. Something broken, something twisted that makes people around me just want to take… take… oh, my gods, take… Baby’s eyes filled with tears, again. And I wanted him. How sick does that make me? I wanted him so badly. What is wrong with me?

  The shadows in the room disappeared as night fell. Long hours later they reappeared, slowly moving around the room with the rise and fall of the pale winter sun. Then another day. Another night. Hail pounded the windows, rattling the glass in the frames, and still Baby didn’t stir. I won’t move. I won’t speak to anyone, I won’t see anyone, I’ll just stay here where I can’t cause any trouble, and no one can hurt me.

  Which was a good plan in theory, but of course it couldn’t last.

  “Baby. Oh, Baby doll. Where are you? Why aren’t you answering this wretched thing?”

  Baby opened a bleary eye. He was alone. The one thing he had thought to do when he’d gotten home was ward it, so no damn interfering god could drop in unannounced.

  “Baby. Fuck it all. Answer me. Ooh, are you having an orgy? Is there room for your sexy dad? Damn it. I’ve got this thing around the wrong way and I can’t see anything but your rotten wall. Baby!”

  Himeros. Fuck. Baby let his eye fall closed. He didn’t need his eyes open to know what would be sitting on his dresser. A bright shiny communication orb used by the gods to talk to other gods in realms they couldn’t visit. Ha. At least the wards kept you out too. Pulling the blanket tighter around his head, Baby settled down to ignore the more annoying of his two fathers.

  “Baby!”

  “Baby!”

  “Baby!”

  “Baby!”

  “Baby!” Each yell was getting progressively louder, making them harder to ignore.

  “Fuck off, Himeros, I’m trying to sleep.” Baby groaned as he tried to recapture that blessed state between sleep and awake – a blissful space, uncluttered by dreams or thoughts. He rolled over, wrinkling his nose at the smell of his unwashed sheets and body. Doesn’t matter anyway because no one can get in here.

  “I need to talk to you, Baby. Why don’t you let me come in? I haven’t even seen your new home. I didn’t even know you’d bought a place to call your own.”

  “I don’t want to talk to you.” Baby tried to snuggle into his covers again, but now he was getting distracted by his own body odor.

  “Oh, my sweet son, don’t be like that. Everyone always wants to talk to me.”

  No, they don’t. Baby gritted his teeth, determined to ignore the persuasive tones. He could think of very few people who actually enjoyed a visit from Himeros and in the mood he was in, he wasn’t keen either.

  “I’ve got the most amazing foolproof plan.” Himeros was good at ignoring people’s wishes too – Just like someone else I am trying hard not to think of. “You know how possessive shifters can be with their mates. Well, all we have to do is set Poseidon up with someone he just can’t resist and…”

  I know all about possessive shifters too. “Shut up, Himeros. It won’t work,” Baby yelled. Trying to get rid of Himeros was like swatting a mosquito. It couldn’t be done unless the mosquito took a direct hit from a rolled-up newspaper. “When shifters bite their mates, like Claude did with Sei, my dear old dad was rendered impotent with anyone else. Doesn’t matter who you set him up with, his dick won’t work, and he knows it and so does Claude. There’s no way you can use another person to make either one of them jealous, no matter how sexy that person might be. Now rack off.”

  “You’re shitting me. That can’t be true. Not with gods at least.” Himeros’ shoc
k was evident, and Baby felt a tiny shaft of pride at having got one over his annoying father.

  “It’s true – gods, paranormals and humans are all affected in the same way. Doesn’t matter who it is. Sei wears Claude’s mating scar. His dick will stay limp with anyone else for eternity. So, you can forget about pouring yourself into your skin-tights and just leave them alone.”

  “Well, I wasn’t thinking of interfering directly. I can hardly console dear Sei if he knows I’m the one who caused Claude to leave him. Now, Eros maybe, or…”

  Baby gave up trying to sleep. The stink of B.O. and greasy hair was making his stomach churn, and while he knew he could be clean with one wave of his hand, he suddenly craved a long hot soak in his tub.

  “I’ve tried to tell you a thousand times, Sei and Claude are bound for all eternity,” he said, interrupting and not caring if he was rude. Flinging his covers back, his body broke out in goosebumps. Fire, he thought as he flung his hand at the empty fireplace. Ignoring the wrinkled bed, Baby conjured his robe, dropping his soiled clothes on the floor and tugging the warm fluffy material around him. Striding across the room, he snatched up the orb glinting on his dresser.

  “Shifters mate for life,” he said, snarling at the orb. “They claim their mate with a bite and sex. Once a being is bitten, both partners are totally faithful, overwhelmingly possessive and hellishly protective. There is nothing you can do to tear Sei from Claude’s side. There is shit all you can do to make Claude leave Sei. They are both immortal, you can’t kill Claude if that was your next weird assumption, and if by some miracle you learned how to kill a god, Sei would die right alongside his mate, because that is what happens with a shifter pairing. You’ve ignored Sei for centuries. You only want to interfere with them now because Sei is finally happy and you’re bored. Just leave them alone. They have kids together for fuck’s sake.”

  “I had you with Sei first,” Himeros purred. “I can give him other children if he absolutely insists on it.”

  “Don’t make me laugh.” Baby shook the orb wishing it was Himeros’ neck. “You hated being pregnant with me. Dad told me. You whined and bitched and moaned all the way through it. I was barely wrapped in a towel before you dropped me off with Poseidon and claimed you never wanted to see me again. Of course, your never was a little short - only eight hundred and eighty years, but who the hell is counting!”

  Sick of his fucked-up father and everything he represented, Baby flung the orb into the fireplace, watching it smash with a hail of sparks. Fucking, jumped up, sleazy, manipulative piece of shit. He stomped into the bathroom, waving his hand, conjuring a full bath that smelled a damn sight better than he did. Shrugging off his robe, he stepped into the water, sinking down so he was completely covered, right up to his chin. Ah, this is so much better.

  Just breathe. In and out. Baby felt the stresses of his ‘encounter’ although he should probably include Himeros in the stress bag too, slowly ease from his body. The light jasmine scent helped lift his mood and for the longest time, he let his mind drift, no fixed destination, no problem solving, just thoughts wafting through his brain that he could ignore or dwell on at will. And for the moment, Baby wasn’t dwelling on anything.

  Until he did, because that’s how brains work. Himeros was a big problem and as far as Baby was concerned, always had been. As he lay submerged in the tub, it did hit him that he’d always had an affinity to water. Being around it, in it, or under it, it always relaxed him which was something that Himeros despised.

  Baby knew it was only jealousy that was making Himeros act out in relation to Poseidon and Claude’s mating. If he’d gotten a mate first, he’d have been rubbing the fact in Poseidon’s nose repeatedly. “My father’s sure hung up on my other dad, but then a lot of people were,” he murmured as he ran more hot water into the tub.

  Thinking back over what Baby had told Himeros though, had him automatically thinking about Owen, who had to be one of the most powerful shifters of all, seeing as he was a god. Possessive, protective, faithful. All the things Baby longed for in a mate – without the growly bits or pushy personality.

  Maybe Owen doesn’t get out much. Maybe that’s why he went all caveman on me. He said he was taking me to his favorite place, after all.

  That didn’t wash with Baby. Lack of social graces aside, Owen had, up until he’d transported them to that godawful cavern, been the perfect gentleman and a comfortable person to be around.

  Okay, maybe Owen’s animal side doesn’t get to come out much. Baby pondered that as he dunked his head in the bath and then zapped up his favorite shampoo, lathering enough into his hair to have bubbles going everywhere. The one thing Baby did know, was that it was Owen’s animal side who’d gotten pushy with him, not the man himself. Owen was talking about preparing a meal for him one minute, then stripping off his clothes and hunting him as if he was a rabbit the next. Unfortunately, that was the one part that didn’t make sense. Shifter mates were cuddly and protective, but Owen’s animal side looked as though he wanted to eat him – even though he hadn’t fully shifted.

  The beast was present… very present… but not shifted… Which had to mean the animal wasn’t going to eat him, right? Because if he had wanted to have Baby for lunch, he’d have been in his furry form. Or whatever. Owen could be a beluga whale shifter for all Baby knew, although he doubted any type of whale would want to live in an ice cave and call it home.

  Or a seal… or maybe an Arctic tern… or maybe he’s an Arctic rabbit. Baby chuckled as he washed the suds out of his hair. Running his hand over his chin, Baby knew he needed to shave, but as he couldn’t be bothered hunting out his razor, he clicked his fingers to take care of that, and the drying of his hair too.

  Stepping out of the bath, Baby wrapped his big robe around him, not bothering with a towel. The bedroom was a lot warmer now, thanks to the fire that was blazing merrily in the grate. A wave of his hand took care of the dirty sheets, but instead of getting back into bed, Baby curled up in one of the two big armchairs he’d installed next to the fire, staring into the flames.

  He couldn’t forget. No matter how long he lived, he would never forget the look of hunger in Owen’s eyes. The snarl. The assumption that simply because he’d gone to Owen’s home, he was begging to be claimed, when it hadn’t been his decision to go there at all.

  You idiot. Baby slapped his forehead and then rubbed it, because damn, that stung. He didn’t want to eat me, he wanted to claim me… bite me… Baby thought back to what Owen, or his animal side had said.

  “You’re here, in my domain. We’re mates. What more do you need to know for me to claim you?” And then, “Unlike the others you’ve toyed with, I’m never letting you go. You. Are. Mine.”

  Baby tapped the arm of his chair with his fingernails as the puzzle pieces in his mind rearranged themselves to show a clearer picture. Seen from a different perspective, Owen’s behavior could come across as possessive definitely, and presumptuous, but then most shifters were. He’s watched me my whole life, seen me with thousands of other people. He said so himself. Which made a good case for Owen’s animal half being overwhelmed, out of sorts, and raging with jealousy, demanding to make his claim - the bite that would tie their two souls together and render Baby incapable of being with anyone else again.

  But Baby still wasn’t prepared to just brush away the fact Owen himself took him to the ice hell in the first place, when Baby had made it plain, he’d never live there. Okay, Owen might have originally had good intentions, taking him there for a meal, like he’d said, but Baby was learning trust took time to earn.

  I need to talk to someone about this. Baby ran over his options as he clicked himself up a meal of roast meat sandwiches and a cup of mead. Poseidon and Claude would be the obvious choice, but Sei has an uncanny knack of ferreting out Baby’s secret and he wasn’t sure he was prepared to talk about Owen beyond the mating concept yet. Besides, Claude hates me, always thinking I’m going to debauch his precious wolves. So, Tulsa w
as out.

  Artemas wasn’t any good. He was the smartest person Baby knew, but he wasn’t mated to a shifter. Lasse might be a good option, but then Baby remembered Lasse and his mate Jason had a new daughter and while the kid was adorable, Baby would prefer to have a conversation with someone who wasn’t covered in drool, and who’d actually had enough sleep to provide some well-needed advice.

  Which left Nereus, who had two wolf shifter mates. Baby used to be jealous of his older brother, but now he’d met Owen, he couldn’t imagine the hassle he’d have if there were two just like him. Nereus did live with a pack, and Baby definitely didn’t want to cause any trouble, but he also remembered Sei grumbling at one point, how all the men in the gay only pack were true mated, so there’s a good chance no one there will be interested in my ass.

  It was worth a try. Now Nereus wasn’t spending all his free time with his friend Sebastian anymore, he might be convinced to have a conversation with his younger brother. His mind made up, Baby chomped on his sandwiches, his mind replaying scenes before Owen got all bossy with him. Hmm, maybe bossy is a natural trait for him, because Baby remembered at their first meeting, Owen had come across as a bit of an ass then too. But contrary to the business at the ice-cave-of-hell, when he’d come across as bossy before, Baby was able to hold his own, and Owen appeared to listen. Hence meeting number two.

  I’ll do some homework, before there’s any chance of a third meeting, Baby decided. Ha. This owning my own home must be rubbing off on me. Look at me, making sensible adult decisions. He was still chuckling when he was dressed and translocating to the tiny town of Cloverleah.

  Chapter Ten

  Owen had done away with his ice castle. He might have only been at Baby’s house for one day, and most of that time was spent outdoors, but he remembered every second of being in his mate’s company, including the warmth and comfort Baby had provided for himself in his house and furnishings. Somehow, glacial walls and ceilings, and monochrome features didn’t seem so inviting anymore, even if his animal side used to love to slide across the floors in his old place.