You'll Know in Your Heart (The Gods Made Me Do It Book 7)

by Lisa Oliver

  “I’m so sorry.” Owen was clinging to him so tight, it was almost hard to breathe. “I’m so sorry for what we did. Can you ever forgive me?”

  Baby wasn’t about to say the words, especially when his brother and his mates were lurking, but he wrapped his arms around Owen’s solid waist and squeezed. “We’ll be okay,” he said quietly. “We just have to have a bit of chat first, and that will probably have to wait until after we’ve shared a meal with my brother and his two mates. It would be impolite not to. Okay?”

  “Whatever you want, my mate.”

  Hmm, Baby thought, I could get used to that. But for now, he tightened his arms around Owen one last time and then motioned for his mate to put him down, taking care to keep hold of Owen’s hand as he turned to face the waiting audience. “Owen, known as the Great Spirit among other names, can I introduce my brother Nereus, son of Poseidon and Abraxas, and his wolf shifter mates, Teilo and Raff. Guys, this is Owen, the hypothetical shifter I was talking to you about.”

  “Well, fuck me dead.” Nereus’s eyes widened. “You could have mentioned he was one of the original gods. Owen, we are honored to have you visit our pack.” He gave a short bow.

  Raff beamed. “You have such a cool shifted form. I hope you like little dogs, Owen,” he said happily from where he was tucked under Teilo’s armpit. “I’ve made pot roast and there’s plenty for everyone.”

  “I love pot roast and little dogs,” Owen said in a low voice, but Baby felt a sense of contentment and guessed it came from his mate. Family dinner it is.

  Chapter Thirteen

  For the first time in as long as he could remember, Owen not only looked calm, he felt it. As he sat down in the chair Baby held out for him, he could sense his animal spirit was watchful, but not agitated like he had been. It was as though Baby’s promise, although whispered, was all the spiritual side of his nature needed to hear.

  “Do you have any issues with anything on your plate, or the cutlery? Only the one time we ate together, we were using our hands and a shared plate,” Baby leaned closer keeping his tone low. His sweet mate was anxious for him, and that was a novel experience for Owen too.

  “I’m fine,” Owen smiled. “Even cooked food has an energy and the cutlery has enough trace of metals for me to see.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” Raff said, as he put another platter on the table and took his seat next to Teilo. “Do you have something wrong with your eyes?”

  “Owen doesn’t see like we do,” Baby said, reaching across the table and grabbing some bread, putting some on his plate and some on Owen’s. It smelled homemade and Owen’s stomach rumbled appreciatively. “He sees the energies in all things which is why he was able to walk through the house without tripping over those pups of yours.”

  “I’m so sorry. If I had known, I could’ve put them away.” Raff’s aura twinged with concern which Owen was quick to wave off.

  “I wasn’t blessed with sight like yours, sweet red wolf, but the world in my eyes is a kaleidoscope of colors. Everything on this realm hums with energy, that I can visualize. I’ve had a lot of practice at avoiding pups, and not walking into walls.”

  “He can even ride a motorbike,” Baby said, ladling some of the roasted meat Raff had made into Owen’s bowl before serving himself. “I just about crapped my pants when I saw who it was coming up my driveway. That thing’s got more holes in it than a vest. Yum. Raff, this pot roast smells delicious.”

  That seemed to be a signal, and for a while the only sound was of cutlery scraping on plates and contented chewing. Owen had just put his plate aside, when Nereus asked, “Are you the reason Poseidon and Claude are looking for my youngest brother?”

  “Sei doesn’t know about Owen and me, and neither does Himeros,” Baby said quickly.

  Owen winced. “Actually, mate, that’s not strictly true. When I first came to look for you, I thought you were still in Tulsa. I had met both Poseidon and Claude before, and I wanted to get their blessing on our mating before I introduced myself to you.”

  “Oh wow, a true gentleman,” Raff clapped his hands before smirking at Nereus. “Not like some people we know, who just snatched me up and started pawing at me.”

  To Nereus’s credit, he chuckled. “Considering the waters I called were to protect you from being mauled by a sexual predator who wouldn’t take no for an answer, and you were floundering in that water at the time, I think the snatching and pawing was necessary, don’t you?”

  Raff’s giggle was a delight to hear, but Baby didn’t sound so happy. “I imagine, if you’ve talked to dear old dad, he’s let you know in no uncertain terms how unsuited we are to each other. Did he offer to go to the Fates and try and get our mating broken? That seems to be a habit of his.”

  Owen thought back over his meeting with Poseidon and Claude. It seemed so long ago, but then a lot had happened since that day. “The meeting did not go well, but not for the reasons you’re thinking,” he offered. “I imagine Sei and Claude want to speak to you, because I made some comments about their ineffectiveness as your parental figures.”

  Baby’s fork clattered as it fell on his plate. “You told Poseidon and Claude they were bad parents… because of me? Oh, Owen.”

  Arms wrapped around his neck and Owen found himself with a lapful of his mate. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Soft kisses landed like butterflies over Owen’s cheeks. “No one,” Baby said as he leaned away slightly, “No one, not even Artie has ever stuck up for me before. You’ve done it twice now.”

  “You deserve it.” Owen reached out tentatively, his sight almost blinded by the brightness of Baby’s energy. He could feel the hard edge of Baby’s face, under his finger and stroked gently.

  “Well, if you told old Sei off, I can see why he’s looking for Baby,” Teilo said. “That guy might walk around like sex on a stick, but he’s got some weird ideas about raising kids – his older ones,” Teilo added quickly. “I know he’s good with the twins now, but it sounds like he was a right shit when his first crop of kids were young.”

  “He was absent,” Nereus said, dropping his arm over Teilo’s shoulder. “It wasn’t the worst thing he could be, but if it hadn’t been for Artie, then I am not sure where me or Lasse would be. Mating Claude seems to have put a stop to most of his bad habits.”

  Remembering the things Claude said about Baby, Owen was about to spring to his mate’s defense yet again. But suddenly the front door burst open, the pups started yapping, and Owen was caught by a flash of bright lights and fast-moving colors before he felt a body plastered against the back of his chair and himself. He sniffed, and his smile widened even as Baby’s body stiffened on his lap.

  “Little Luke, my sweet bear, is that you?” Owen reached behind himself, feeling the back of Luke’s head. “My gods, you’ve grown since I saw you last. Have you found your home at last?”

  “Owen,” Luke cried against his neck. “As soon as I got the text about the polar bear in Raff’s yard, I just knew it was you. Where have you been? Why haven’t I seen you? It’s been years.”

  “Er, Luke, sweetheart, I think you might have just pushed your way into a situation here.” A lovely wolf shifter with long dark hair, hurried to Luke’s side and tried to drag him away. “I’m sorry about this. I’m Tobias, Luke’s other mate. The big one, Kurt… Kurt… what are you doing down on one knee?”

  Kurt, an older Kodiak bear and one with a kind heart, that much Owen could tell, barely raised his head. “I’m showing true respect for the Great Nanook. Something Luke should be doing too.”

  “Me?” Owen felt Luke raise his head. “This isn’t Nanook, some god; this is Owen, my friend the polar bear who helped me when I was struggling on my own before I met you. I would sit at my old clan, staring at the stars, crying because no one would accept me the way I was, and calling out for someone to help and every single time Owen came. He just appeared, like right in front of me, and he was always kind and said nice things. He told me I would find my place one d
ay and I just had to… had to… darn, I had to be patient, and I was, sort of, and I found you, and then Tobias and now we have Ollie. Owen, did you want to meet Ollie? He’s our cub. He’s adorable and I just know you’d accept him even though he started shifting way too young. He couldn’t help what the bad scientist men did to him.”

  Owen’s head was spinning. Baby’s aura wasn’t showing clear signs of jealousy anymore, but he’d slipped off Owen’s lap and was now back on his chair. Kurt was still down on one knee, Tobias was looking between Luke and Owen like he didn’t have a clue what was going on, and Luke was still clinging to his neck and talking about caring for a sweet bear cub who’d been experimented on?

  He found his voice. “Kurt, you are a good man and a decent bear. Please, rise and take a seat. Tobias, Luke meant no harm, he has always been affectionate, but Luke, I don’t think you’ve met Baby, Nereus’s brother who is also my mate.”

  “You have a mate? Is that why you didn’t come to see me anymore?” Luke ran around Baby’s chair and held out his hand. “Hello, Baby, do you have another name? No, no, what I am meant to say is, hello, my name is Luke. I am a bear shifter, and these are my mates, Kurt and Tobias. And I’m sorry if I was bursting in, ina… inap… when I shouldn’t have done, but for the longest time Owen was my only friend and he helped me when everyone else used to turn their backs on me. They don’t do that here. I’ve even helped protect the pack sometimes when we’ve had trouble, but my life used to be sad and lonely and Owen helped me then. Are you sure you don’t have another name because Baby is what Tobias and Kurt call me sometimes and I think they’re being affectionate and sweet. I don’t know you yet…”

  “It’s fine, Luke. I’m pleased to meet you.” Baby took Luke’s hand and shook it. “People do call me Baby because I’m the youngest of Poseidon’s sons, but that’s okay if other people do too. You mentioned you had a cub? Where did he come from? Is he a shifter like you?”

  “He is.” Luke clasped his hands together over his heart. “He is the sweetest boy, almost five now, we think, but Kurt said we might never know how old he truly is, but sometimes he’s on two legs and sometimes he’s in his fur. And he’s cute, especially when Kurt or Tobias try to bathe him and he doesn’t want to give up his fur, so there’s water everywhere and chases through the house. Did you want to see him? He’s just outside.”

  “I have honey cupcakes.” Raff dived out of his seat, heading for the kitchen. “I knew you would come over when I texted you Luke. I’m so pleased to hear you and Owen are old friends. He was so amazing in his polar bear form. I’ve never seen one before.”

  There was a scramble, because apparently all three bears, including the cub liked honey cupcakes, and the coffee pot needed refreshing, and there were dirty dishes to clear away. Through it all, Owen sat, holding Baby’s hand, wanting to say so much, but not wanting an audience for any of it. There was one point, when Nereus was helping in the kitchen, and Kurt and his mates had gone outside to find the little cub, that Baby leaned closer. “Is Luke one of those who called on you – one of the ones you spoke of who still do?”

  Owen nodded and smiled. “He hasn’t called on me for a long time. He hasn’t needed to, thank goodness. It does my heart good to see the wonderful life he’s found for himself here with his loving and accepting mates.”

  “But he was really shunned, like honestly shunned by the people who were supposed to care for him?”

  “Luke has always been different. He is beautiful, kind and has a heart the size of Texas. He sees the good in the world around him when others don’t and that is special. He believed in the Great Ursine spirit so strongly, I couldn’t help but heed his cries. The non-interference law…” Owen shook his head. “All I could be was his friend.”

  “But the other bear called you Nanook.”

  “Nanook is the great spirit bear for the Inuit people. You could say,” Owen tried to think of how to explain. “He’s like a son of mine, although no sex or partners were involved.”

  “Like Ra and Thoth, you mean? Where Ra is considered the father of his people, and Thoth is known as his son, but in fact…”

  “Exactly.” Owen indicated towards the door. “Watch, Baby mate of mine. See how Luke adores his adopted son, and how his loving mates adore them both.”

  /~/~/~/~/

  Baby’s heart ached; he just wasn’t sure why. In his long life, he’d never felt the emotion jealousy, but when Luke wrapped his arms around Owen’s neck like he had a right to, Baby was swamped with it. Luke’s open nature and sweet smile helped to ease his concerns, but seeing the bear called Kurt, and then Luke, because clearly, he’d been talked to outside, show so much respect and deference to Owen… Even Nereus had deferred to him.

  It made Baby feel inadequate. Useless. Completely unworthy. He was a god of no fixed domain. He didn’t have people cry out his name for longer than five minutes, and they usually fell asleep afterwards. Seeing how even Ollie seemed to realize how important Owen was in the grand scheme of things, climbing up Owen’s legs and touching his face, his eyes and mouth both wide open… I don’t belong here.

  Feeling hemmed in by so many people made his skin itch. Leaving Owen and Ollie to their mutual admiration gig, Baby slipped out of his chair. “Bathroom?” he mouthed to Raff who caught his eye.

  Raff pointed down the hall, before turning his attention back to the tableau of happy faces. Baby didn’t need the bathroom, but he found it anyway. There was a part of him that longed to stamp his foot and rant and rage because Owen was supposed to be for him alone, but that would never happen. He’s so important to so many people.

  Baby didn’t know of any of the ancient gods he was familiar with who still had active followers on earth. He knew there were many of them that were, in the Hindu and Buddhist religions for example. Apparently Norse gods like Freya, Odin and Loki were back in favor again, and Baby had read just recently people in Italy had raised a temple to Jupiter, although it was apparently more of a tourist stunt, than an actual belief in Jupiter’s existence. Baby could only imagine how his Uncle Zeus felt about that.

  Owen’s people never stopped believing in his existence and standing with his hands resting on the bathroom counter, contemplating the floor, Baby struggled with that although he didn’t know why. He was torn between running back into Nereus’s cheery living room and staking a claim on HIS mate, and running away, disappearing to a realm where Owen wouldn’t find him. The problem with option B, was he didn’t know the limits of where Owen could or could not go.

  The Underworld was always a good bet, or Poseidon’s lair under the sea. Even Zeus’s lofty realm might work, but Baby had no wish to sit among Zeus’s minions watching him getting fed grapes. If he wanted to see crap like that, he could go to Himeros.

  Standing upright, Baby studied the face staring at him from the mirror. Average height. Clear skin. Immaculate dark hair on the right side of mussed, tousled over sea blue eyes. Clothes that fit just enough to hint at his assets without being overt about it. It’s not enough, he thought as he recalled the scenes of love and devotion going on in the other room. I’m not enough. I’ll have to leave.

  But his feet were frozen to the floor. Baby wouldn’t run from his mate again, even as his mind and body conspired against each other. It was as though every negative thought, put down, rejection, and heart ache boiled up together as if in a giant caldron. They needed somewhere to go, and Baby was helpless to go anywhere. Frustrated, panicky, his insides being torn apart by his own psyche, Baby fisted his hands, tilted his head back and screamed.

  And screamed.

  And screamed again.

  The glass in the mirror smashed. Water bubbled up from the pipes in the bathroom and surged from the taps in the bath, shower and sink. The water level rose up Baby’s body, soaking him, holding him. He was drowning in his own despair. Why doesn’t anyone care?

  Chapter Fourteen

  Owen’s head snapped up. He felt Baby’s outburst before the soun
d of screams reached his ears. Shoving Ollie in Luke’s direction, he got up so fast, his chair fell over, as he headed for the hallway. But his way was blocked by Nereus, heading in the same direction, his aura radiating concern.

  “That’s my baby brother in there. Let me go to him.” Nereus tried to push him aside.

  “That’s my mate.” Owen pushed back just as hard.

  “You left him alone for a thousand years. Don’t show concern for him now.” Nereus didn’t back down.

  “So, did you, and you’re his brother, asshole. You were meant to care for him well before I ever met him. The mess he is today is at least half attributable to you.”

  Winning the shoving contest, he sprinted down the hallway, Owen’s animal side let him know where the chaos was emanating from. Gripping the door handle with all his strength, Owen pulled, tugging the door off the hinges and smashing the frame. He made to go in but stopped as a solid wall of water stood in his way.

  The bathroom was trashed – taps broken, glass strewn across the floor, bottles of shampoo and other toiletries bobbing about in the water. Letting his animal use his eyes, Owen could see Baby standing in the middle of the tempest, but he hadn’t shifted into his mer form. His feet were still planted on the floor, his mouth opened as he continued to wail.

  Time to get wet. Inhaling sharply, Owen held his breath, plunging into the water, immediately caught up in the tempest caused by Baby’s emotions. It was fascinating how the water didn’t burst out of the wrecked door but stayed contained in the bathroom as if tightly controlled. Owen wasn’t sure what would happen to it all, once he broke Baby’s concentration, but getting him somewhere safe, warm and preferably dry was the main priority. Nereus is quite capable of cleaning up the mess.