You'll Know in Your Heart (The Gods Made Me Do It Book 7)

by Lisa Oliver

  “Baby, please, what can I say or do to make things right?”

  And wasn’t that the million-dollar question. “I don’t know.” Being close to Owen was like a drug for Baby. He just wanted to be held and was glad the babies on Owen’s chest meant he didn’t do something silly like fling himself in his mate’s arms. “You really well and truly fucked up, and that hurt. Acting the way you did, brought back memories of Himeros’ rejection, which wasn’t your fault, but that hurt too. And then, the fact you didn’t talk to me about your fears before the day – fuck, I thought we were closer than that. You’ve been telling me you loved me for months and I believed in you.”

  “And I fractured that trust, badly but not completely otherwise you wouldn’t have left me with our babies.” Owen looked down, and Baby followed his eyes, realizing he was stroking over the sling. The need to touch the infants was addictive too. “You’re a natural father. It’s not easy being an adult, is it?”

  “You and I have been adults for a very long time,” Baby said wearily. Now Owen was around, he felt safe and just wanted to sleep. “But if what you mean, is that it’s time to make sensible decisions, then yes, I know I can probably be angry at you for eternity and make our lives together a living hell and probably send you away in the end; or I can forgive you now, try and work out where our communication needs to improve, and work with you to find a routine for the little ones that works for all of us so we can be a family.”

  “I want a family with you,” Owen said gravely, “but the only defense I can offer for my thoughtless actions is that my own fears and worries about being inadequate didn’t surface until I was putting my huge hands in your belly, trying to make sense of which baby was which. I have never ever felt fear like that before – so frightened of hurting you, and the babies.”

  “You were crying.” Baby remembered that.

  “Terrified to the point of tears,” Owen agreed.

  “Eternity is a long time to be alone,” Baby said softly, running the palm of his hand up Owen’s arm. “I wouldn’t wish that on you or me. I just wish you’d said something instead of leaving me with Silvanus, Artie and a bed full of young ones.”

  “Not my finest moment, and not one I’m likely to forget in a hurry.” Owen’s arm reached around Baby’s shoulder, and he snuggled into his mate’s side. “Leaving you and our young was like someone stuck a knife in my heart and twisted it. I never want to feel that again.”

  “Then don’t fuck up any more.” Baby would have slapped Owen’s chest, but his daughter was sleeping on it. “Talk to me. Tell me things, or if you can’t put those things into words, then just let me know you’re struggling and I’ll do what I can to help. But don’t leave me like that, not again. I don’t think my heart could stand it.”

  “I doubt mine could either.” Owen nuzzled Baby’s hair. “I do love you so much, and I’m so proud of you and the little ones.”

  Baby wasn’t ready to spout any love just yet, although he would, because being mean just wasn’t in his make-up. “Do you think it’s time you showed me the nursery?”

  “I’d like that.”

  /~/~/~/~/

  Owen didn’t deserve to be forgiven so readily, but he hoped the love and care he and Aphrodite poured into the nursery would help. With not knowing exactly how many children they were going to have, Owen decided on an extra wide crib that would easily take the three babies for now. Later, they could go into separate beds of their own.

  He was eager to see how Baby liked the space. Baby’s house was big and old, and it was likely that the bedroom next to the master was originally for the wife of the house owner. It was slightly smaller than the master, but it had lovely big windows made up of a mass of tiny frames and a large fireplace which Owen had filled with ever-burning logs, that were screened so the little ones couldn’t touch when they were old enough to explore. The room would be kept at an even temperature year-round, regardless of if the doors and windows were open or not.

  “My goodness.” Baby’s aura brightened just walking into the room. “It’s like a magical garden in here. How often do the plants need watering? There must be a hundred of them on that one wall alone.”

  Owen smiled. “It was Aphrodite’s idea – the plants are her gift to you, our mating, and the young. They will never die and will never grow bigger than the space allows. Once a month watering is fine.”

  “They are just incredible – what an amazing idea.” Baby wandered from his side, brushing his hands over the leaves of plants that hung from the main feature wall in a blaze of color and energy. “So many tropical plants, blooming in Scotland.” Baby laughed. “There’s no way we could ever let humans in this room.”

  “This is our children’s sanctuary,” Owen said softly, cradling his arm under the youngsters on his chest. They were so warm, so trusting, sleeping as if soothed by his heartbeat. “To any non-family members this room wouldn’t exist.” He paused just a moment; Baby deserves to know the whole truth. “I tied this room specifically to my domain. It’s like a corridor to my domain if you like.”

  Baby paused in his inspection of the huge chest of drawers filled with all manner of clothing. “You moved your domain to inside our house?”

  “No, no,” Owen shook his head, but kept his voice low. “It’s a safety feature – a bit like Poseidon’s domain if you will. My domain is still hidden in the Arctic circle, but I built a corridor to it here, in this room. To anyone else, non-family, if they come in here, they will just see a typical guest bedroom and nothing else. But if danger comes, you and the little ones can come in here, and won’t be seen or heard, no matter what happens to the room itself because technically you’ll be on another realm. Don’t you see? I wanted to keep you and the infants safe.”

  “You are freaking amazing; do you know that?” Baby stood in the middle of the room, stretching out his arms as he twirled around. “You and Aphrodite have created the perfect safe haven for the little ones, and a safe room all in one. And don’t think I haven’t noticed – the beautiful crib big enough for three for now, the fireplace screen so they won’t get hurt if they go near the fireplace, the piles of clothing, diapers, wash cloths and lotions for their skin all scent free and perfectly safe. You’ve thought of everything; all the stuff listed in Lasse’s book, and more. The plants give the whole room an indoor/outdoor feel, so they can appreciate nature even in the depths of winter. Hon, what can I say? It’s beautiful, simply perfect.”

  Owen looked down at the infants’ heads. With his animal side receded for now, all he could see was a blaze of pulsing color. But there were differences in all three, subtle changes in color and scents that would allow him to pick them out individually. “I wanted them to have the home you didn’t have when you were growing up,” he said softly. “We’ll take them to Poseidon’s of course, in time to see if they have an affinity with the water too, but for now I wanted them to have a safe space to be whoever they grow up to be.”

  Baby came closer, a lot closer. “With the emphasis on safety, and warmth, and love, and nature, and all the things I didn’t have growing up. Hon, what you’ve done here is amazing. I can feel the vibe in this room even if I can’t see it like you do. It’s just beautiful. Do you think, maybe we could try putting them in their new crib, so I could get a hug of my own?”

  “We seriously need some names for them,” Owen reached behind his back to pull the tie on his sling, making sure his arms were holding them as the material came loose. His chest felt cold without the babies pressed against him, and he worried he’d drop at least one of them. But Baby was there, plucking them out of his arms, one after the other, giving them a little cuddle each before laying them down. The triplets seemed to gravitate to each other automatically, which was seriously cute, and hopefully meant they’d stay sleeping for a while longer. “Didn’t you have a list you made up of possible suggestions?”

  “They are already named; those names just need to be spoken. They brought their names with them,
just as you predicted.” Baby flew into his arms as soon as his were free and as Owen wrapped them around his mate, he took a full breath for the first time since the infants were born.

  “Our little girl will be Fawn, named after Fauna because we’re hoping she’ll be famously chaste, although she does look like me, so we’ll see. Son number one, who clearly takes after you wants to be known as Mato, because that means bear and I’m fairly sure he’s going to be one and it’s a strong sturdy name for a sturdy boy. As for son number two, he’s accepted walking in this world as Cy, with a c and a y, in deference to my own dad and the fact the word means lord, or lordly, and the way he makes you wait on him finishing his bottle says he’s going to live up to his name.”

  “Fawn, Mato and Cy.” Owen inhaled as he called on his power, sending the names of his children out into the wind as he exhaled. “You have given me so much, my angel, is there anything I can do for you?”

  “Sleep,” Baby murmured. “I need sleep and that only seems to happen when your arms are around me. Just a short nap though. I have to get that washing machine running or we won’t have any fresh diapers by tomorrow.”

  “I’ll take care of the laundry,” Owen said as he carried his sleepy mate into their bedroom.

  “I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” Baby snuggled closer. “I do love you.”

  “I love you too,” Owen said, setting his mate on their plush mattress, although he doubted Baby heard. He was already asleep.

  Epilogue

  Three months later.

  “Owen,” Baby yelled from the master bedroom. “Are you letting Mato test out his magical powers again?” He gingerly picked up the soggy diaper that had landed with a splat on the fresh covers he’d just put on the bed and stalked around into the children’s room. The three infants were having tummy time on the floor, being watched over by Owen. At the sound of his voice, three darling faces looked up at him and grinned.

  Baby did his best to be firm. “Mato, I’m talking to you. We all know how funny you think it is to zap your diapers all around the house, but they belong in the laundry.”

  Mato blew a raspberry, and then shimmered as he turned furry, waddling off towards the window on four stubby feet. None of the triplets could move very far in their human form, but Mato had been shifting into his cute little polar bear form since he was a week old. Cy had shifted a few times in the bath, alternating between a seahorse, and other aquatic creatures – all white. Fawn was very interested in her brothers’ shifting processes, but so far, she hadn’t shown any signs of wanting to do it herself.

  “No, no, no, Mato.” Baby sprinted after the young one, scooping him up and cuddling him close, rubbing his finger in Mato’s soft fur. “You do not blow off daddy and ignore me when I’m trying to tell you something. I had just finished making that bed with clean covers, and you’ve been told diapers belong in the laundry basket downstairs.”

  Mato chewed at Baby’s finger, and he tried not to laugh.

  “I actually think he was trying to send it to you,” Owen grinned. “He likes showing off for his daddy.”

  “And yes, I’m very proud of you,” Baby rubbed Mato’s belly. “Very proud of you using your magical powers already, but you can’t go sending your dirty diapers all over the house. If it wasn’t for your poppa’s wards, we’d have dirty diapers appearing all over Thurso and wouldn’t that cause a stink in more ways than one. Now, come on, little mischief, I need you to shift.”

  He took Mato over to the mat where the other two were watching with bright eyes. “Your poppa was supposed to have you dressed already. We’re going to see Granddaddy Poseidon and Granddaddy Claude today in their big house under the sea. Won’t that be exciting?”

  “They haven’t seen the sea yet,” Owen reminded him, “and I have to say, taking them under it, before they see it from land, is going to be interesting.”

  “Imagine how I felt seeing land for the first time.” Baby plopped Mato into Owen’s lap because the little tyke was still furry and picked up Fawn. “Hello, beautiful,” he said pressing a kiss to Fawn’s chubby cheek. “I didn’t see my first tree until I was sixteen and Sei took me up to the surface for the first time. Now, baby girl, what shall we put you in today? Perhaps a dress. You never know, you might shift into a mer today, in which case pants and a tail can be awkward.”

  “You’re putting the kids in the sea?”

  Baby turned his head, to see Owen looked shocked. “Hon, they are as much a part of me as they are of you. All of Cy’s shifted forms were inherited from Poseidon’s gifts, and I have a mer tail too. You just haven’t had a chance to see it yet. Oh, and don’t forget we need a bag packed if we’re visiting your realm afterwards too.”

  “The bag’s packed. Baby, this is serious. You’re going to allow Sei to take our little ones into the sea itself? What if they can’t breathe?”

  “I’m going to take them, and you, if you want to come, which might be a good idea, seeing as the octopus friend Sei has is huge and usually lurking near Poseidon’s door. Hon, you wear my mark, these are our children. They’ll be fine.”

  Owen didn’t look very happy, but then Baby reasoned his mate was just going to have to trust him. Anything new was difficult for one of the original gods to process. Owen didn’t even know about cellphones, laptops or Netflix before Baby came into his life.

  It was still twenty minutes before everyone was dressed, and the bag packed with extra diapers, bottles, changes of clothes, a blanket for the little ones to sleep on, and their favorite cuddle toys. Yes, Baby knew he could zap them all up while they were under the sea, but he was trying to set a good example for the triplets, which meant doing as much as possible by hand. The triplets’ powers were already strong, as was evidenced by diapers, clothes, and bottles being found all over the house.

  “My precious babies.” Poseidon was waiting for them in the entrance hall as Baby translocated them to his realm. “Look at you, all growing so fast. Oh, this is so exciting; more of my offspring to introduce to my precious waters. Come on Claude, get your boots and shirt off. You too, Owen. Believe me, soggy clothing will weigh you down.”

  “Er…” Owen looked unsure and Baby’s heart went out to him. Handing Mato to Poseidon, he quickly got out of his clothes.

  “Here,” he said, going over and taking Cy and Fawn from Owen and handing them to Claude who was already shirtless. “How about you and I go out first, so you can see what I mean about the breathing issue, and then we can take the little ones out.”

  Owen didn’t look convinced, but he stripped off his shirt, and kicked off his boots. Baby smiled, hoping his aura would convey his sincerity as he pulled open the giant doors. “I don’t make a very big merman,” he said with a laugh as his soul soared at the sight of the wall of water hovering by the entrance. “My brothers are much more impressive. But here we go, hold my hand and just breathe normally. Got it?”

  Baby had to give Owen credit for doing as he asked. For himself, the water was akin to coming home. He barely ever shifted into his mer form, having spent too many years with his tail before he left home. In the centuries he wandered the earth, he was too confused and too upset over the raging battle between Himeros and Poseidon, and their subsequent neglect of him to ever nurture his bond with the sea.

  But it was still there, lurking as it always did, the cool waters welcoming him and soothing his limbs. “See, isn’t it wonderful?” He turned and watched as Owen forced himself to breathe normally even as the waters flowed around them. It took him a while, a minute or two before Owen started to move around.

  “I’ve never seen this.” Owen turned his head, side to side, taking in the wonders of Sei’s domain. “This is incredible, and look at you? Your tail shines beautifully.”

  “Can you see it? I wasn’t sure if you could.” Baby swished his tail back and forth. Letting Owen take things in, Baby looked back at the door where Claude and Poseidon were waiting. Fawn had her little arms outs
tretched as if wanting to be with them. “Owen…?”

  “I know.” Owen turned, taking Baby in his arms. “I never truly doubted you, but you have to admit, this is all pretty incredible.”

  “You can shift if you like.” Baby leaned forward pecking Owen gently on the nose. “You’ll still be able to breathe under here. That way the boys will have something to hold onto and we can go for a swim.”

  “Only the boys? What about Fawn?”

  “See for yourself.” Baby glowed with pride, as sweet little Fawn, complete with a mer-tail poking out the bottom of her dress was paddling madly with her arms, trying to get to them. “Come here, precious,” Baby cooed as he flicked his tail and swum towards her, scooping her into his arms. “Look at you with your cute curls and shiny tail.”

  And so, it was, that Owen in his polar bear form, with Mato also in fur, and Cy, and Sei, and Claude, spent the afternoon swimming with Baby and Fawn in the realm under the sea. Even the octopus behaved himself. And later, much later, when the children were fast asleep, and Baby was curled up in his mates’ arms, he gave thanks to the absent Himeros. His father might not have ever cared for him the way a parent should, but it was because of him, that Baby was living. With his own heart full of the love he had for Owen and his little family, Baby was especially thankful for that.

  The End

  As I came to the end of this story, I did know Baby’s tale was different to many I write. There was no outside conflict for one thing, and a lot more “thinking” which I know not all readers enjoy. But the thing with Baby, and why it took me so long to write this story, is that his journey was always going to be traveled in his mind – his hurt, his upset, his grudges and his pain were all valid – and I seriously didn’t want some magic mate to come along and “fix him”. Like Owen tried to do and failed. Lol. Baby needed to find his own truths and come to terms with his past in his own way and I like to think I left him and Owen in a good, and safe place.