Reign or Shine

by Michelle Rowen

  My father looked more like me than I ever would have imagined.

  And not the least bit demonic.

  He took a moment to stare at me like I must have been staring at him, and then blinked and straightened his tall frame.

  “Nikki,” he said simply. “I’m very pleased to finally meet you.”

  I didn’t say anything. I think I’d lost the power of speech completely. I’d figured I’d have a little more time to mentally prepare before actually seeing him, but I guessed I’d been wrong.

  My father looked at Michael. “You may leave us now.”

  I grabbed Michael’s arm before he even thought about abandoning me. After all, he’d promised to stay with me, hadn’t he?

  He tensed and glanced at my father.

  My father’s eyebrows went up a little. “I see. Well, in that case, you are more than welcome to stay for as long as my daughter requires your presence.”

  “Yes, Your Majesty.” Michael nodded and didn’t pull away from me. But his arm remained tense.

  “I expected you to arrive yesterday,” my father said, looking at Michael.

  He cleared his throat. “I apologize for the delay.”

  “No, it was my fault,” I managed, relieved that my voice didn’t come out like a squeak. “I gave Michael a hard time because I didn’t want to come at all—I didn’t believe any of what he was telling me. But I’m here now.”

  My father glanced at my wrist. “You’re wearing the bracelet I sent.”

  I touched it. “Yes. Thank you. It’s very pretty.”

  “It’s more than just a piece of jewelry. It will help you.”

  “With the half-demon thing?”

  “That’s right.”

  No one said anything else for a very long moment. Then my father cleared his throat, breaking the silence among us.

  “This must all be very overwhelming for you, Nikki.”

  Something about the way he said it, all apologetic, made a thick lump show up in my throat that was very hard to swallow. Overwhelming. Yes, this was definitely overwhelming. My brain couldn’t process it all. I’d come here wanting to confront my father and ask him a million questions, but now I could barely find the words to speak. But, at least I hadn’t turned and run screaming out of the castle yet. That was something.

  I was using Michael as my anchor. Sure, I didn’t know him very well, and the fact that he still hadn’t been terribly forthcoming about who he really was didn’t help. But I trusted him when he said nothing bad was going to happen.

  He looked at me now with concern in his green eyes.

  “You okay?” he asked quietly.

  I nodded. “So far so good.”

  My father’s expression grew more serious and his eyebrows knitted together. “I will assume that you hate me.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t hate you.”

  Surprisingly, it was true. This was the man who I’d assumed I was supposed to hate for the past sixteen years, the man who’d abandoned my mother and who I wanted to give a good piece of my mind to. And yet, now that I was finally face-to-face with him, I couldn’t summon up that emotion at all. Fear? Sure. But not hate.

  He looked taken aback at my answer. “You don’t?”

  “Um . . . hating you is actually far down on the list of importance for me right now. I . . . I need some answers.”

  “Of course.”

  I finally let go of Michael’s hand and he took a step back from me. I looked at him with alarm.

  “It’s okay, Princess,” he said. “I’ll be right here.”

  With effort, I turned my attention to my father. “So it’s all true. Everything Michael has told me.”

  “I suppose that depends on what he’s told you.”

  “You’re a demon king? For real?”

  He nodded. “Yes.”

  “A demon,” I repeated as if to clarify it one more time. Maybe I’d heard wrong. Maybe it was a foreign word that meant “doctor” or “lawyer” or “construction worker.”

  He nodded to confirm that he was, indeed, a demon.

  I swallowed even though my mouth was as dry as a sandbox by then. “But you look so normal to me.”

  “Normal is in the eye of the beholder, Nikki,” he said. “I can look different should I choose to, but I felt that my human form would be best to meet you in.”

  I gaped at him. “Your human form?”

  “Demons can shapeshift to either human or demon form.”

  I thought about my red, slitted eyes when I’d broken Robert’s arm and felt a chill run down my spine at the memory. “What does your demon form look like?”

  “As one brought up in the human realm, you might find it a bit . . . unusual.” He hesitated. “However, this is how I choose to look now. You must come to realize that appearances are unimportant. I am the same man in my demon form as I am right now. The difference is merely on the surface.”

  I felt woozy suddenly and sucked in a quick breath of air. “I think I need to sit down.”

  After a moment I heard something heavy dragging across the marble floor and noticed that Michael had brought a black cushioned chair for me.

  “Here you go, Princess.” He smiled. “We wouldn’t want you to faint.”

  “I’m not going to faint.”

  “Better safe than sorry.” He stepped back again, into the shadows at the edge of the room. I wanted to ask him to stay with me, by my side, but I didn’t. I could handle this. I could be brave.

  But I did sit down. There was a table nearby and I dragged the chair to it. My father sat across from me and clasped his hands in front of him.

  He studied me for a moment. “You look well, Nikki. I’d feared . . . that I was too late in contacting you. I worried that your Darkling would have already emerged and possibly done irreparable damage to you. Michael explained what a Darkling is?”

  I nodded. “Half demon and half human.”

  “That’s right. You’re very special.”

  In my mind, I went over what he’d just said, trying to force myself to feel at ease, but I became more tense with every passing moment. “What damage did you expect to happen?”

  His expression shadowed. “I don’t know. It’s been a millennium since the last Darkling lived.”

  I breathed out. A millennium. A thousand years. That was a long time.

  “So, I guess you getting my mom pregnant wasn’t planned.”

  “No, it wasn’t planned.” His jaw tightened. “However, I need you to know that I cared for your mother very much.”

  I felt bitter hearing that. “I’m sorry if I find that hard to believe. After all, you haven’t exactly been around for sixteen years.”

  He didn’t say anything for a moment. “I’m sure your mother must have been terribly confused.”

  I felt tears prick at the backs of my eyes but I refused to cry. Why did I decide to come here? I wished there had been another solution to figuring everything out. “Confused doesn’t even begin to cover it. I’d go more for heartbroken, angry, pissed off, mad as hell. Those would be a little more accurate than ‘confused.’ ”

  Pain slid behind his eyes. “I never meant to hurt her. Or you.”

  I would have had a few more snappy comebacks to that—maybe something along the lines of ‘deadbeat dads are a dime a dozen’—but all I felt was raw. Besides, this wasn’t a typical father/daughter reunion. I was in the middle of another dimension in a freaking demon castle. Sarcastic comments would have to take a backseat at the moment.

  “Whatever,” I said instead. “Can we talk about something else?”

  “No, you need to know this, Nikki. Until two days ago, I didn’t even know you existed. And I thought your mother was dead.”

  My mouth gaped at that. I turned to look at Michael standing in the shadows, maybe to have him confirm what my father had just said. His arms were crossed and his face expressionless except for a small frown.

  I turned back to my father. “You didn’t know I
existed?”

  He shook his head. “All those years ago, I was allowed to leave the Shadowlands for one month. I’d always wanted to go to the human realm. I thought of it as just a vacation from my normal existence, but when I saw your mother . . .” He swallowed. “I fell instantly in love with her. I imagined bringing her back here to be my queen, but that wasn’t going to happen.”

  I forced myself to breathe. “Why not?”

  “I’d led her to believe I was just another student at her school, but I wanted to tell her the truth so badly. The day I was going to, I was summoned back here. One moment I was in your world, and the next I was here, unable to leave the castle.”

  I tried to wrap my head around what he was saying. “But . . . but couldn’t you have sent a message to her?”

  He pressed his lips together, his expression showing the pain he felt inside. “I tried. As soon as I could, I sent someone to find her—much like I sent Michael to find you—and when he returned I learned that Susan had been killed in a car accident. I mourned her for a very long time. I felt that if I’d been with her she might have been okay, but instead she was gone and I had no reason to try to make contact with the human realm again. I wanted to forget, or try to forget, as much as I could.”

  I blinked rapidly. “But she wasn’t dead. I don’t think she’s ever been in a car accident.”

  “I took my scout’s word as truth. However, two days ago, on your birthday, your Darkling magic became active. Since you are my daughter I could sense it, sense you, even between dimensions. I knew if you existed, then I had been lied to about your mother.” His voice caught on the words and he took a moment to compose himself. “If I would have had any reason to believe that Susan was alive or that you existed, I never would have turned my back on you. Please believe me, Nikki.”

  And I did. I believed him. He wasn’t lying, he wasn’t just trying to make things better between us. He hadn’t known that I existed. All this time when I thought he’d consciously abandoned us, he simply hadn’t known.

  A tear slipped down my cheek. “But . . . who would make you come back here and not let you leave?”

  “My father,” he said bitterly. “The time had nearly come for me to become the king of the Shadowlands. My father was near death . . .” He sighed heavily. “He had no patience for romantic notions, especially those involving a human such as your mother. The world and his duties were always black and white to him.”

  I looked at Michael again. He hadn’t shared with me this little piece of rather important information. Then again, I hadn’t exactly asked. And even if he’d told me then, when I wasn’t ready to accept all of this, I’m positive I wouldn’t have believed him.

  “You had no idea I existed?” I knew I’d asked the question before, but it was still hard to accept.

  “Not until you turned sixteen. Before that your human side was dominant. I had no sense of you at all. But now it’s different.” He paused. “How . . . how is your mother?”

  I thought of Mom and all the trouble she’d been through raising me all by herself. The extra jobs she’d taken before she got her first novel published, and even now—she worked so hard to help me, to help us, even when there was a new husband around.

  “She’s good.” I licked my dry lips. “She got married a couple of months ago.”

  His expression shifted and he looked down at the tabletop. “I’m glad to hear that she’s found happiness for herself.”

  Happiness might be a bit of an exaggeration after that little kitchen scene earlier tonight. Also the fact that she’d been married three times before. But I decided against going into any detail about my mom’s messed-up love life.

  “Now,” he said, “we must focus on you, Nikki. Your Darkling powers—have they appeared at all?”

  I let out a shaky breath. “A little.” I told him about breaking Robert’s arm, although not the circumstances surrounding it. I also mentioned my red eyes.

  He took it all in. “Has there been anything else?”

  “Not so far.”

  He looked relieved. “This is very good. I was afraid that it may have come over you uncontrollably. Especially in the midst of other humans, this wouldn’t be a good thing for many reasons.”

  I had to agree with him there. If there was a remote possibility I’d turn into something out of a horror movie, then that was definitely something I wanted to avoid. To say the least.

  “So you don’t think anything else will happen to me?” I asked tentatively.

  “It is possible, and you must be prepared for anything. That’s why I’m glad you’re wearing the dragon’s tear bracelet.”

  I looked at it and touched the teardrop-shaped crystal. “Now you’re probably going to tell me that it’s from a real dragon, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, it is. Dragons are descended from the same line as demons.”

  My eyes widened. “I was kidding, actually.”

  A small smile appeared on his lips. “But I’m not.”

  “Dragons,” I said. “Big, fire-breathing, reptilian beasts with wings?”

  “Some of them.” His smile grew larger. “But don’t worry. Dragons live at the other edge of the Underworld and beyond, not here. However, since you are demon royalty you would have nothing to fear—they would sense who you are and do no harm to you. In fact, they would be willing to do your bidding if you asked them nicely enough.” He frowned when he saw the look of shock on my pale face. “Michael, could you get Nikki a glass of water, please? There’s a pitcher on the table behind you.”

  A few moments later, a silver goblet appeared before me. I took it and Michael’s fingers brushed against mine. I think he’d done it on purpose to remind me that he was there, nearby. His touch made a very pleasant shiver go up my arm, but when I looked up at him he’d already moved away from the table.

  I drank a shaky sip of the water while I took a moment to process my information overload.

  Demons, faeries, and dragons.

  Oh, boy.

  “This is too much,” I said finally.

  My father’s expression grew serious again. “I know that.”

  “But maybe I can get used to it. I mean, I don’t feel too different. If I can control things then maybe it will be okay.” I took another sip of water. “Michael can help me. I can go home and come back here sometimes to visit. After time goes by I’m sure everything will start to make sense to me.”

  My father looked down at the table again, and then he stood up, the chair squeaking across the floor. He paced over to the entranceway and then back. His expression was tight and as he put a hand over his stomach, I noticed something was off about his posture. His expression hid something underneath that I hadn’t noticed before. Pain. Physical pain.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, standing up from the table. “Are you all right?”

  He let out a long, shuddery breath. “No, I’m afraid I’m not all right. I didn’t want to tell you this, not yet, but there’s no way around it.”

  I swallowed hard. “What?”

  “There are reasons that it was imperative for Michael to bring you here as soon as possible. Part of it was to tell you who you are and what it all means, but there’s more to it, Nikki. A great deal more. I’m so very sorry that I don’t have more time to help you adjust to this vast amount of information you’ve been asked to accept. You’ve been very brave so far, I’m proud of you.”

  Michael went to my father’s side. “Are you okay, Your Majesty? Should I get Elizabeth?”

  My father tensed again and held his hand tighter against his stomach. “Not yet. It will pass.”

  I felt a rush of concern come over me. “Are you sick?”

  He raised his head enough to look at me and there was now a light sheen of perspiration on his face. “Yes, I am. It’s come over me only in the last couple of weeks. I’m having the same symptoms my father had before his death. I’m afraid I don’t have much time left.”

  My breath left me
in a rush. “You’re dying?”

  He nodded. “I’m functional for now, but the pain comes upon me quickly. Today I’m feeling well enough to see you here. But I know there isn’t much time. A few days. A week at the most.”

  I tried not to cry, but I knew it was too late to stop a few big, fat tears from escaping. I watched as Michael helped him back over to the chair. “Isn’t there anything that can be done?”

  “No, I’m afraid not. It’s unexpected. I’m still young, so I don’t know why my time has come so soon. But, so be it. I have no choice but to accept my fate. However, I must use what time I have left to ensure that someone suitable will take over my throne. Someone who can rule the Shadowlands.”

  I wiped my face. “Michael told me that this place keeps all the bad stuff from the Underworld and Hell from coming to where I live.”

  “That’s right. A long time ago, the Shadowlands was a place of chaos. A few demons who then lived deeper in the Underworld knew that something had to change if the human and faery realms were to be saved from destruction. They took over this land and built this castle.”

  “This unbelievably scary castle.” My voice shook as I said it.

  The pain was now gone from his face and he smiled at me. “Trust me, I wasn’t consulted on the architecture. It was well before my time. But there is a reason for everything. The stone the castle is built with is infused with magic that both senses the royal line’s power and helps to hold back the evil that exists beyond it. No creature, be it demon or any other, can pass without the kingdom’s permission.”

  “Without your permission, you mean,” I said.

  “That’s right. And that’s one of the reasons I’m not able to leave. I can’t even go outside. I haven’t seen the daylight in over sixteen years.”

  My heart dropped at that. “How terrible.”

  “It’s necessary, and I accept it. I take my responsibility very seriously, and I expect anyone who takes the throne to do the same. Which leads me to the real reason it was so very urgent for me to speak to you personally, Nikki.” He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “As my only heir, when I die, you will automatically become queen. You will be summoned here from wherever you are at that moment and shall be unable to leave the castle from that day forward.”