Reign or Shine

by Michelle Rowen

“Like”—I hesitated—“like, I found out that my father is dying.”

  “Oh, my God, Nikki. That’s terrible.”

  And then I started to cry. Just like that. One moment I wasn’t and then the next moment I was. Great big fat tears slipped down my cheeks and I covered my face with my hands.

  Chris touched my shoulder and then pulled me toward him in a comforting hug against his chest. I leaned into him and hugged him back, letting it out while he held me.

  “Nikki,” he murmured against my hair. “It’s okay.”

  I shook my head. No, it wasn’t okay. My father was going to die. I’d just met him and now he was going to be gone and I couldn’t believe how much I was going to miss him.

  Chris drew me even closer to him. I could feel the thud of his heart through his tuxedo shirt.

  “It’s okay,” he continued to say for a few minutes, holding me. And then, “Oh, Nikki, you are so damn hot in that dress.”

  I frowned and pulled away a little, my vision blurry from the tears. “What did you say?”

  “You like me, right?”

  “Of course I like you—”

  “Good.” He kissed me.

  I braced my hands against his chest and managed to pull back a little. “Chris, I think I need to go.”

  “I thought you said you liked me.”

  “I do, but this isn’t right. I want to leave. I can call my mom for a ride.”

  “You liked it when I kissed you yesterday.”

  I sighed. He was right. I did like it. But a lot of things had changed since yesterday.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “This has nothing to do with you. You’re a great guy, really, but . . . I don’t know. I just need to be alone right now.”

  “You’re alone,” he said. “With me.”

  “That’s not exactly what I meant.”

  His eyes were heavy lidded, his lips moist. I could now smell alcohol on his breath even though I hadn’t seen him drink anything. He wasn’t looking in my eyes, his gaze was sliding down to my chest.

  “Come on,” he said. “You, me, a limo. This is the chance we’ve been waiting for to get to know each other a little better.”

  I couldn’t even talk anymore because his noodle lips were on me again. This time, if possible, even harder than before. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and I felt like gagging. In fact, I think I did. I pushed at his chest, but the guy was strong.

  His hands were everywhere then, and he pushed me down on the seats so he was on top of me, his body weight easily holding me down. I started to panic. I knew what he wanted to do. Something I hadn’t done before and was frankly in no hurry to start. Not with him. And not like this.

  “No! Chris, get off of me!”

  He frowned, seeming not to understand why I was getting mad. “I know you want me,” he growled. “Melinda told me you have a crush on me. That’s why I asked you out. Don’t try to play hard to get now. You like me and I like you. What’s the problem?”

  He mashed his mouth against mine again.

  Panic gave way to fear.

  “Stop it!” I beat at his chest. He grabbed my wrists and held them down on either side of my head.

  Had no one ever said no to Chris before? Was he so used to getting what he wanted, because he was popular and handsome and rich, that now he didn’t get it when I said no?

  I’d thought he was so nice.

  But there was nothing nice about him at the moment. It was a surprise, a shock, and a total disappointment.

  Those are all the things I would have been feeling if I hadn’t been so scared.

  “I thought you wanted to be popular.” There was a gleam in his eyes then. A sick satisfaction at having me sprawled out under him, helpless, in the back of a limo, no less. “I want you to be my girlfriend. It’s a total honor, in case you didn’t know. Now don’t screw it up. This is going to happen. You can have a good time or a bad time, but it’s going to happen.”

  He kissed me again, hard.

  My fear suddenly shifted to anger—a hot line of fury that welled up inside of me just waiting to erupt. My head screamed out in pain.

  I bit his bottom lip. He snarled and backed up, raising his hand as if to slap me.

  But he stopped.

  His expression changed from lust and amusement to something else.

  Fear.

  I could tell because of the bright red light shining on his face.

  The red light from my glowing demon eyes.

  14

  As odd as it sounds, I could smell Chris’s fear as it radiated off him in waves. It smelled sweet, like melting ice cream.

  “A good time or a bad time, huh?” I sat up and out of the corners of my eyes I could see the big, black wings stretch out behind me. I liked how my voice sounded. Deeper, drier, and extremely scary. “I think I choose a bad time—for you.”

  The blast of light from my energy ball exploded a limo door right off its hinges and Chris was launched out after it, landing hard on his back on the pavement of the parking lot.

  I got out of the limo easily as strength and power filled every inch of my body. It was dark, but I could see perfectly. The outlines of objects were sharp and defined. I looked down at the black talons protruding from the tips of my fingers. I ran my tongue along my fangs. I didn’t need a mirror to tell me that I looked positively demonic. A Darkling. A furious, black-winged, spiral-horned, red-haired monster in a borrowed backless Versace dress and silver strappy heels.

  The cold didn’t bother me at all anymore.

  The glow from my eyes tracked over to where Chris lay on the ground. He shook his head as he looked at me with wide eyes, then crawled backward, crablike, to get away.

  “N-no, p-please,” he stuttered. “P-please don’t hurt me.”

  “Exactly what part of ‘no’ didn’t you understand?” I asked, seething with anger.

  He whimpered.

  I was disappointed in him. So horribly disappointed. He was supposed to be perfect—good-looking, popular, a nice guy all around. He wasn’t the right person for me, I already knew that. But this? I hadn’t expected this from the guy I’d been crushing on for two months.

  “Wh-what are you?” he stammered.

  I cocked my head to the side. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re a monster.”

  I cringed. The last thing I needed was him to tell anybody about this. “You’re drunk, Chris. Maybe somebody slipped you something stronger than alcohol. You’re obviously imagining things.”

  “I . . . I am?”

  “That’s right.” I glared down at him. “And when you wake up tomorrow you’ll realize this was all just a drunken hallucination.” I hesitated. “But remember this . . . never come near me again. I don’t think that’ll be much of a problem for you, will it? But listen to me very closely. I know you’re used to getting what you want, but if I ever hear that you’ve tried to hurt anyone else?” I bared my fangs and watched the fear flood his expression. “You will be very, very sorry. Do you understand me?”

  He whimpered again pathetically.

  “Do you understand?” I asked again, raising my scary voice up a notch.

  “Y-y-yes. I understand. I do. I . . . I promise.”

  I hissed out a breath. “Then I think this date is officially over.”

  He nodded in complete and total agreement.

  “You need to go home now.” It wasn’t a magical demonic suggestion that he couldn’t resist. It was simply a suggestion.

  One he took.

  He was gone.

  Whether Chris had been drunk or not, I had a sick feeling that what he had just seen wouldn’t be forgotten quite as easily as I hoped it would be.

  Once he had disappeared into the distance, running along the street in the direction of his home, I took in a very shaky breath and realized I was trembling violently.

  I might have sounded all cool with him, but inside a storm was raging. I was furious and beyond upset. The anger at what
he’d attempted to do to me swirled around my stomach making me nauseous. I felt the overwhelming need to cry or destroy something.

  Possibly both.

  Relax, Nikki, I told myself. You have to relax.

  If I didn’t calm myself down, I knew something horrible was going to happen.

  Energy sparked off the ends of my black talons. My heart pounded so hard in my chest I could feel it and hear it in my ears, a loud, thunderous sound. I couldn’t seem to relax. The rage I was feeling was spiraling inside of me. I felt out of control.

  Then a hand curled over my bare shoulder. I flexed my leathery wings and whipped my head to the side, ready to hurt whoever stood there.

  It was Michael.

  His eyes widened as he took a moment to look at me. Then he blinked.

  “Come on,” he said. “It’s not safe here.”

  He grabbed my wrist and pulled me along with him around the corner to a vacant side of the school. I didn’t resist but my shaking was getting even worse.

  “I can’t control this,” I gasped.

  “Sure you can.” He stopped walking and turned to face me. “Just breathe.”

  I nodded and a lock of bright, flame-red hair fell onto my face. Michael stroked it back. I was surprised he’d want to touch me when I was like this.

  “Demon form can be triggered from feeling high emotions like anger or fear.” He frowned deeply. “I saw Chris leave here. He didn’t . . . he didn’t try to hurt you, did he?”

  I sucked in a shaky breath. “He cornered me in the back of a limo and wouldn’t take no for an answer, if you know what I mean.”

  “He what?” What felt like an actual wave of fury radiated off Michael and it made goose bumps crawl over my skin. “He tried to . . . to . . . ? I’m going to kill him. I will tear the head from his body!”

  I shook my head. “No, I’m okay. After he’s seen me like this I’m sure he won’t come anywhere near me ever again. I scared the crap out of him.”

  His expression was tense and angry, but he gently wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb. “You’re really okay?”

  My breath was still coming in quick gasps. “Except . . . except for this demon thing. I couldn’t control it. And now I can’t change back. Of course I was able to scare Chris off. I scared him by how ugly I am.”

  He shook his head. “Princess, there’s nothing ugly about you.” He cupped my face in his hands. “But you have to try to relax.”

  I had to relax. I had to.

  Pain radiated through my stomach. “I’m dying. Harnessing my Darkling powers is killing me.”

  “You’re not dying.” He hugged me to him a lot like how Chris had in the limo, but it was different now. Michael wasn’t Chris. I hadn’t known Michael for very long at all, but I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. Holding on to him helped me to slowly calm down. It made me feel safe. It helped chase away the anger and fear.

  “Shh, it’s okay.” He kissed my cheek and stroked my hair back from my face.

  I closed my eyes and held on to him, and slowly I felt the Darkling inside of me recede. My wings began to disappear. My teeth desharpened. My nails returned to their short, pink-polished state. The pain grew worse but as I returned to normal and clung to Michael I realized it wasn’t as bad as the last time I changed back to human form.

  “Better?” he asked after a few minutes went by.

  I nodded. He began to pull away from me but I held on tight.

  He looked down into my eyes. “See? You’re not dead.”

  “Not yet.” I took a deep breath. The pain was completely gone now and it gave me a chance to think straight. I looked up at him. “Where were you all day? I thought you said you’d come to see me again.”

  “I know. I’m sorry, I couldn’t come before now.”

  “Why not?”

  His expression shadowed. “I just couldn’t. I . . . I thought you would have drunk the potion by now.”

  “But you came anyway?”

  “I wanted to make sure you were all right. You had mentioned the dance so I knew you’d be here at the school.” He must have seen the hurt look that I couldn’t hide and he swallowed hard. “I wanted to come earlier. I did. I’m really sorry I wasn’t here for you.”

  “But you’re here now. Thank you for helping me calm down.”

  “You’re very welcome.” He smiled a little and then turned more serious. “You should have drunk the potion by now, though. The king . . . he’s getting worse.” He exhaled. “Elizabeth thinks he has only hours left, not days.”

  My heart twisted. “I need to see him again.”

  He shook his head. “That’s not a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “Taking you back to the Shadowlands would only make it harder. For you, for your father. He’s in no shape to see anyone—he’s constantly in demon form now. And there’s no time left. You . . . you have to drink the potion or you won’t have any choice when the king dies. You’ll automatically become queen. I know you don’t want that.”

  “And I don’t want to die.”

  “Die?” he asked. “What are you talking about?”

  “Elizabeth told me that harnessing my Darkling powers will kill me. I’ve done it three times now and I guess I’ve gotten off lucky.” I swallowed. “I can’t let it happen again.”

  He looked confused. “She told you that?”

  I nodded. “She researched Darklings when my father asked her to. She didn’t want to tell him or it would worry him more.”

  His brow lowered. “What do you mean you’ve turned Darkling three times?”

  I quickly told him about my confrontation with knife-guy again in the park. His expression grew darker with every word.

  “I should have been there for you,” he said. “I should have protected you.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. You were in danger and I didn’t help you. But Elizabeth . . .” He paused. “She cares very much what happens to you. And she’s very adamant that you drink the potion—she says it’s the only way. She allowed me to come back here to check if you had or not.” He met my eyes and his expression was strained. “You have to drink it, Nikki.”

  My throat thickened. “Do you really want me to forget about you?”

  “It’s the only way.”

  “You keep saying that. But it doesn’t answer my question.”

  He looked down at the ground. “Princess, I’m a servant. I’m not supposed to want things.”

  “You don’t act like a servant.”

  “Then I’m very sorry,” he said. “But I’m just supposed to do what I’m told without questioning it. It’s the only way I’ve ever known.”

  Something about how he said it made me think very hard. Servants couldn’t question orders given to them. They had to do what others told them because . . . because why? They weren’t supposed to have minds of their own. Not allowed to make their own decisions, whether that decision was right or wrong.

  Sounded like being a teenager. Everybody told me what to do. Where to move. What classes to take, what tests to study for. What books to read.

  And now I was being told to drink a potion because there was no other way. Elizabeth’s argument for me drinking it was a very good one, though. I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to be queen.

  No other choice.

  “For what it’s worth,” Michael said after a moment of silence between us, “I don’t want you to forget about me. And if things were at all different, I’d tell you not to drink the potion if you didn’t really want to. But that would be selfish and stupid of me.”

  I shook my head. “It’s not stupid. Or selfish.”

  He met my gaze again and held it. “When King Desmond first told me to come here to the human realm, to find his daughter and bring her back to see him, I was convinced you’d be a spoiled brat. I thought that as soon as you found out I was your servant you’d treat me like a nobody. That’s the reason I didn’t tell you what I was
until you found out from your father. When we were in the alleyway after that guy attacked you, and you didn’t leave me there—you waited, you stayed with me until I was better—I didn’t feel like a nobody. I didn’t want to lose that.”

  “You’re not a nobody,” I told him, swallowing past the huge lump in my throat.

  “My parents died when I was young and your father has treated me well. I can’t really complain too much. But it’s not the same as . . . as how you treat me. You surprised me, Princess. So much. And when you kissed me last night . . .” He pressed his lips together.

  I waited as my heart drummed loudly.

  He blinked. “Everything changed.”

  I inhaled sharply. “What does that mean?”

  “It means I don’t want you to take the potion and forget about me. It means even though I know who I am and who you are I still want to kiss you again right now. So badly.” His mouth was close to mine and he stroked my back-to-blonde hair off my face. “But I can’t.”

  He pulled back and reached down the front of his shirt to pull his amulet out. Only then did I realize he’d had it tucked inside his shirt before.

  “Why not?”

  “Because your father wanted me to protect you, and that’s what I’m going to do.” He turned and looked away. “That’s why you have to drink the potion. When you do that, you’ll be safe.”

  It was silent then between us as I thought about everything Michael had just told me. Why did this have to be so hard?

  “You said my father only has hours left,” I said.

  He nodded gravely.

  “I want to see him.”

  “I already told you that’s not a very good idea.”

  “I heard you. But I don’t care. I want you to take me to him and Elizabeth again. Please.”

  “Princess. Please, drink the potion now. It’s for your own protection.”

  “No.”

  His gaze snapped to mine. “No?”

  I set my jaw. “That’s right. I know everybody wants me to drink it, and I’m going to, eventually. But I want to see my father first, or else I’ll refuse to drink it at all. I want to go back to the Shadowlands to see him one last time. Please help me do that.”

  “You’d put yourself at personal risk to make this happen?”