Secondhand Charm

by Julie Berry

  I swam far out, took a deep breath, and dove under, letting my eyes adjust to the underwater landscape. A large, savage-looking fish with fierce teeth and a pointed snout and fins approached me fast, and I looked around for some means of help. Then my leviathan appeared and shook himself menacingly. The fish turned and darted off, and I climbed onto my leviathan’s back. We rose to the surface and sailed for a time over the low waves.

  Where are you taking me? I asked.

  Down the coastline, he said. I can travel fast.

  In the dark it was hard to gauge how quickly we traveled, except by the breeze on our faces. The lights of Chalcedon were far behind us now.

  I want to give you a name, I said, but I don’t know how to name someone like you. Everything I think of feels so inadequate.

  Don’t worry about that.

  What are some other leviathan names? I asked.

  He seemed puzzled for a moment. We don’t think of each other by the names the serpentinas give us, he said. We know each other by scent.

  Then why is a name so important?

  It is for you, he said. You can’t fully love a nameless thing.

  I felt rebuked and ashamed.

  Take a breath, Mistress, he said, and hold on tight.

  With only that brief warning, he plunged down, straight down and deep into the water, and my ears were not happy about it until they cleared. My eyes tried to adjust, but he hurtled through the depths at an alarming pace. The rocky bottom rushed up at us.

  What are you playing at? I said. Stop!

  He halted, nosed around the bottom, snatched at something, then began his gradual, circling ascent. My head was still rushing with the changing pressure, and my eyeballs felt like they’d pop. I hugged him around his body and clung tightly until gradually we broke the surface again. He shook his whiskered head.

  Then he took off again, skimming over the surface of the water at a breakneck pace. The shore was now on our right-hand side. We were going back the way we came.

  Did you come all this way for some special fish you wanted to eat?

  No fish, he said. I’ll show you when we get back.

  And on we rode. The predawn glow in the east began to peek over the edges of the mountains, and the morning sky began its majestic birth. What would it be like to greet each new day this way, swimming in the ocean and watching the entire, slow, miraculous dawn?

  I closed my eyes and felt the rhythmic pulse of my leviathan’s muscles propelling us.

  When you love me more, Mistress, he said, you will trust me more.

  But I do trust you!

  My leviathan didn’t answer that.

  Didn’t I? I was here on his back in the middle of the ocean, wasn’t I?

  When you trust me, you’ll understand that I will never hurt you and I will always protect you. And when you know that, you won’t need to be afraid, and you will love me more.

  You hurt my feelings, leviathan, I said. I have told you already that I love you.

  Then name me, he said.

  Don’t I keep you with me always? Didn’t I bring you here this morning to swim?

  He said nothing. How could I defend against the charge of loving weakly?

  I’m doing all I can.

  He took an unannounced dip underwater. I only barely caught my breath before the plunge. I choked back the impulse to complain.

  We were back near the beach adjoining the castle park. A pink sky hovered over Chalcedon’s towers. My leviathan slowed to a standstill in the water and curved around his great head to look at me with sad eyes.

  One day, he said, either I will die for you, or you will die for me, or both of us will die peacefully together.

  The pain in his words smote my heart. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

  I slid off his back and pumped the water with my own limbs. I didn’t feel worthy to ride on his strength anymore. I wanted to run away from him, from the remorse I felt because of him. But where could I go that he would not follow?

  I am sorry, I said, for my ignorance. And my foolish, selfish ways.

  He lowered his great head down into the water beside me. The touch of his great scaly horn was as gentle as a baby’s.

  I am sorry, Mistress, for grieving you. Forgive me.

  No, I said, it is you that must forgive me.

  No need.

  I promise you, I said, that before this day is through, I will choose a name for you. I set out stroking toward shore, determined to begin the day and the business at hand.

  Don’t promise, Mistress, he said. Let it come on its own time.

  I reached the beach and climbed ashore, wishing I could start a fire as easily as Annalise had yesterday. I sat in the sand and dripped.

  Would you like to see what I got from the sea floor? he asked.

  All right.

  He slid toward me through the shallows and onto the beach, and dropped a small, heavy object into my lap.

  My love charm.

  Chapter 34

  “Evie?”

  I stiffened. My leviathan’s head snapped up, his nostrils sniffing the air.

  It is the one you are fond of, Mistress.

  Stop calling him that, I said. I know his voice.

  I turned to see Aidan standing on the headland, a shovel in one hand. The rising sun lit his back, and light streamed around him from every side. I slipped my love charm over my head and hid it underneath my clothes.

  He has seen me. Do you want me to leave?

  You don’t have to, I said. But if you want to swim a bit more, you may. The sun is up, so you should probably think of hiding yourself.

  Aidan began walking toward me. It was then I realized I was still dressed only in my loose, shimmery swimming garment, which now clung to my wet skin. Love of heaven! How long had he stood there? I dove for my cloak, which lay nearby, and wrestled it over me.

  When my head popped out, there he was, standing before me, looking like … well, like Aidan. Tall and brown and … familiar. That was all. Familiar.

  That was all. Wasn’t it?

  The leviathan blinked as he studied Aidan from every angle, his head darting this way and that, sniffing like a suspicious bloodhound.

  Then a rogue thought appeared. Did that love charm bring him around? Was he just like those other boys back home, who wouldn’t leave me alone once I put the gypsy charm on?

  “Good morning,” I said.

  “Good morning.” He took an uneasy look at the leviathan and added, “Good morning to you too.”

  My leviathan nodded his great head once, then turned and slipped back into the sea, leaving me very much alone with Aidan.

  I didn’t want him asking me questions, so I thought the best defense might be offense.

  “What brings you here this morning, Aidan?”

  Aidan was still staring out over the water, where my leviathan leaped and chased fish.

  “Sand,” he said. “For mortar.” He gestured toward a cart and a mule, up on the highlands. “I saw someone down here by the water, and when I took a closer look, it was you.”

  I rubbed my goose-pimply arms.

  Aidan turned to look at me. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about the creature, Evie?” he said. “All the years I’ve known you. All the times we played and fished together when we were little. How could you keep a thing like that a secret?”

  So that was what he thought. Evie the deceiver.

  “Does your grandfather know?”

  All the things I could say rose up in my throat—defenses, explanations. My innocence, my ignorance. But what, really, did that amount to? I was a serpentina born. If I asked Aidan not to blame me for it, I was agreeing it was something wrong.

  And that, I was no longer willing to do.

  “I figure that must be why the fish always came when you called them,” Aidan said.

  I couldn’t help it. I let out a laugh. Aidan tried not to smile, and then we were both laughing, absurdly, stupidly, contagiously.<
br />
  We both stopped, and in the ensuing silence I felt even more awkward than before. And suddenly I wasn’t afraid of what Aidan thought.

  “My mother was like me,” I said. “But I never knew any of this until the shipwreck. I guess there’s a lot I never knew about myself until the shipwreck.”

  Aidan watched me closely. “What do you mean?”

  What did I mean?

  “I mean … about being a serpentina.”

  “A what?”

  I dug my toes in the sand. “Serpentina is the name for women like me,” I said, “who have a sea creature—a leviathan—bonded to us for life.”

  Aidan pursed his lips. “For life?”

  I wished I could read what was going through his mind then.

  He turned to look at me from head to toe. He laughed a little. “You’re a far sight from how I saw you last.”

  I became conscious of my rough cloak and my wet hair clinging to my scalp and neck. I raked my fingers through my hair.

  “Were you swimming? I thought you didn’t know how.”

  “I do now.”

  Aidan bit his lip. “Teach me how?”

  I took a step back. “What, now?”

  He grinned as he pulled off his suspenders and unbuttoned his shirt. “Why not?”

  I tried not to watch him. “I’ve only just barely learned myself, I—”

  “Come on, Evie. Let’s. Your snake will save me if I drown again.”

  I shuddered. Easy for him to be casual about his drowning. “Don’t say that!”

  Aidan dropped his shirt in the sand and wrenched off his shoes. He appeared to hesitate in the matter of his trousers for a moment, and I nearly turned and bolted for the castle, but he pulled his suspenders back up over his bare shoulders and headed for the water.

  “He’s not a snake. He’s a leviathan.”

  Aidan hollered when the water hit his thighs, and I couldn’t help smiling. His back was toward me, so I pulled off my robe and ran into the water, diving under the surface, and surfacing some yards out, where I could watch Aidan from a safe distance.

  My leviathan was by my side in an instant.

  What’s this, Mistress?

  My friend wants to learn to swim.

  We both watched Aidan, hugging his chest against the cold, taking tentative steps forward and yowling at the frigid water.

  “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” he called. “I’ll just—”

  “Oh no you don’t,” I cried. “You got me back into the water. You’re going to swim.”

  “Well, aren’t you going to help me?”

  “You come to me, and then I’ll help,” I replied.

  My leviathan butted his head playfully against my ribs. Shall I teach him, Mistress?

  I couldn’t wait to see this. Feel free.

  The creature shot forward like a racehorse, closing the gap between him and Aidan in seconds. Aidan saw him coming and stumbled backward, tripping and landing on his tail in the surf. The leviathan caught him up in his coils and tossed him into the air. Aidan didn’t know whether to fight or play. It didn’t matter; my leviathan was in control. He dragged Aidan out to the deeper water near me and left him there.

  Aidan immediately began to sink.

  “Kick with your legs, like this,” I called to him, “and sweep front to back with your arms. You’ll stay up that way.”

  Aidan tried, but panic made his movements ineffective.

  “Be calm,” I said, swimming closer. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  He churned his limbs through the water, but his face barely cleared its surface. Even the gentle waves crashed over him, till his eyes were wide with fear.

  “Guess … my mother … was right,” he said, spitting water. “She warned me. The Moreaus … don’t belong … in the ocean.”

  I remembered Aidan’s poor father, the sailor.

  “Foolish of me to try this.” Aidan kept pumping the water.

  I closed the distance between us. “Hold on to me,” I said. “I’ve got you.”

  He threw an arm over my shoulders and leaned on me. I laced my arm around his back and held his side. His weight pushed me under for a moment, but we resurfaced.

  “That’s right,” I said. “Now just rest. Everything’s all right.”

  Gradually Aidan ceased struggling. We bobbed up and down with the swell. My leviathan swam in lazy circles around us, splashing Aidan with the tip of his tail. Aidan began to experiment on his own and play in the water, always returning to my side if the water grew choppy. Or even if it didn’t.

  “So this is swimming,” he said.

  I nodded. There he was, looking at me, so close, his eyes so brown, his skin so tight and cold. For a moment I thought he was going to kiss me again. Then he turned away.

  “Your teeth are chattering,” I told him. “Let me take you to shore.”

  He came along, though reluctantly, it seemed, and I released him once his feet touched the bottom.

  The sun was high over the university towers when we crawled back onto dry land and sat in the sand. I pulled my robe on immediately.

  “I’d better get to work,” Aidan said. “They’ll be wondering about me by now.”

  “Tell them you were nearly eaten by a sea monster,” I said. “It’s mostly true.”

  He paused wiping his face with his shirt to laugh, then he pulled the shirt on.

  “I’ve got to go too,” I said. “Annalise will be wondering about me.”

  Aidan’s face fell.

  “What’s the matter?” I said.

  “It’s just … How do you come, all of a sudden, to be the intimate friend of Princess Annalise?” he said. “Two days ago you were on your way to University, with nothing in the world, and now you live here?” He gestured toward the castle.

  I didn’t know how to approach his question. “You live here now, too, don’t you?”

  “In the workers’ quarters,” he said. “I don’t go to parties with the king.”

  This annoyed me. “Do you think that’s what I’m here for? Parties with the king?”

  Aidan looked away. “Well, you never took your eyes off him when he was in Maundley.”

  “Oh, for pity’s sake,” I said. “He’s the king. Everyone stares at a king.”

  “Well, what are you here for, Evie?” Aidan said, his voice lower now. “Why did you run off like that, from the Rumsens? I spent the whole day searching for you.”

  This was priceless. “You shouldn’t need to ask me that.”

  How did we get to this awful place? Everything seemed so … neighborly, just a moment ago. Like old times. And now this.

  “Have you written home yet?” Aidan asked.

  “I plan to,” I said, feeling guilty. “I don’t really know what to tell Grandfather. Anything I say would make him worry. I thought, perhaps, after I reached University, I’d write from there.” It was a hollow excuse, and I knew it.

  Aidan was surprised. “You’re still going to University?”

  “Of course I am!” I said. “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Well, classes have begun, haven’t they?” he said. “And you’re not there. You’re here.”

  I hated how nothing seemed to slip by him. How dare he expose all my struggles? He couldn’t understand about Annalise, and what she’d taught me, and all I owed her for it.

  “I’ll get there eventually,” I said.

  “What’s happened to you, Evie?” Aidan said.

  I looked at him sharply. “You mean the leviathan?”

  “No,” he said. “That’s not what I mean.”

  I brooded over his question, and his nerve. Well might I ask him the same thing. From kissing me one moment to avoiding me like a leper the next—and he dared to ask what had happened to me?

  “Are you going to marry Dolores Rumsen?”

  Aidan’s mouth fell open. I felt my face burn. Leave it to me to blurt out the worst possible thing. But Aidan only looked at the sand
. He made no attempt to deny anything.

  So, then.

  My leviathan made his way up onto the sand, compacted now in size, sidewinding his way toward where we sat. He crawled over both of Aidan’s boots, and Aidan didn’t flinch a bit.

  “He’s a handsome creature,” Aidan said, which disarmed me utterly. He stroked a finger over the leviathan’s soft scales. Then he pulled on his boots and pushed himself up. “I’d better get back with that sand before they come looking for me. See you around, Evie.”

  I nodded and went to stand myself. Aidan offered me his hand. He pulled me up, then turned and walked away without a word or pause, leaving deep boot-shaped prints behind him.

  Chapter 35

  When I returned to the castle I found Annalise in her room, brushing her jet black hair.

  “I wondered where you’d gone.” She took in my wet appearance. “Enjoy your swim?”

  I nodded and went straight for the drawer in the writing table where I’d put my University papers. It was empty.

  “My documents!”

  “What’s the matter, dear?”

  I pointed to the empty drawer. “My University documents that we put here the day I first arrived. They’re gone.”

  “Are they?” She plied her brush through her hair. “Are you sure they were there?”

  “This is where you told me to put them,” I said. “Don’t you remember?”

  “Hmm … ” She seemed to concentrate for a long moment. Then she gasped and bit her lip. “I’m sorry, Evelyn. Rhoda was tidying out that drawer, and she showed me those papers, and since I didn’t recognize them, I told her they weren’t important. She tossed them into the fire.”

  I collapsed onto the sofa and buried my face in my hands. Annalise flew to my side and threw an arm around me.

  “What is it, child? What was so important about the papers?”

  How could I have let this happen? If I’d gone straight on to the Royal University, as was my original plan, I’d be there, starting my studies. But now I’d lost my admittance twice. How could I get in now? The thought of going before Lord Appleton again made me shiver.