The Hastings Series

by Vanessa Siena

  Chapter Thirty

  Hunter

  I imprinted Jagger’s words into my brain, just to make sure I would always remember them. He had every right in this world to tell me what to do and not to do when it came to his sister, and just seconds ago he indirectly told me that he accepted me around Harlow, even after what happened.

  I knocked on the door of her room and then opened it slowly, taking in a sharp breath. As I stepped inside, Harlow’s eyes were on me instantly. Seeing her like this was breaking my heart in millions of pieces. Sure, I saw her some hours ago when she was asleep and that hurt too, but now that she was awake and looking at me with those beautiful eyes of hers, I knew I had just one chance to apologize to her for being a massive fuck-up.

  I closed the door behind me, not taking my eyes off hers. I sat down in the chair next to her bed. The breathing mask she had on earlier was gone but now a nasal breathing tube was fixed under her nose and tugged behind both of her ears. Even with that thing on her face, she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. Her skin was pale, her freckles darker than usual, and her lips were a soft pink color, plump and swollen.

  She studied me while I let my eyes travel over her face. I knew I was supposed to be the one to speak first, but my thoughts were running wild. I had so much to say. So many things I wanted her to know. But I wanted to say the right things. I had to reflect on my words.

  Her breathing was calm and steady. Dr. Sullivan had told us about her broken ribs and collapsed lung. He wasn’t sure how long it would take for her to be able to breathe without pain. The pain I caused.

  I looked back into her eyes. Her gaze was steady, never leaving mine. I could see all kinds of emotions in them. She was unsure, but the flash of kindness in her eyes let me know that she was okay with me being here. Hell, there was even concern in her eyes. She saw the stitched up nose and my black eye, and she was fucking worried about me when she was the one who got hit by a damn car. But reading her was easy. Her eyes were so damn expressive.

  When I gathered all my thoughts and was sure to be able to form normal sentences, I reached up with my hand to cup her face, caressing her cheek with my thumb. I was scared she would turn her head or flinch, instead, she leaned more into my hand, closing her eyes for a split second.

  “I don’t deserve you,” I said, my voice low. Her eyes were back on mine. This time, tears stung her eyes and I was so fucking close to finishing what Jagger had started and put myself into more pain. I hated seeing her cry. “I know that nothing I’m going to say will ever make up for this or make you forgive me, but I want you to hear me out. I’m sorry for treating you the way I did. I’ve been cruel. You deserve so much, and a guy should worship the damn ground you walk on.” I stopped, holding my breath because I realized that nothing I was saying made any sense. Nothing came out the way I wanted it to and I was messing up again.

  “Fuck,” I said, letting out a small, hard laugh. “Can’t you just tell me to fuck off and never see you again? Because I know damn well I won’t be able to keep my distance. I want to hold you. I want to be so damn close to you it hurts. And even if I did the worst job of protecting you, I want to keep you safe.” I was rambling now and I sounded even more stupid than before.

  Her eyes never left mine and she didn’t say a word. She wasn’t going to talk. She was probably just letting me talk to make me feel better. This was full-on chaos and torture for me.

  “I’m sorry,” I said and got up from my seat, running my hands through my hair. “Stay,” she simply said, surprising me. I wondered if it would be a good idea to stay. I didn’t have anything to say that was good enough. I was starting to hate myself more and more.

  “Please, stay,” she repeated in a weak voice. I battled my thoughts for a second, then decided to just sit my ass down and listen to what she had to say. I was hoping for her to throw something negative at me to make me feel bad. I needed her to call me names. To tell me what an asshole I was.

  “Do you remember that night you were in my bed, drunk?” she asked, her voice almost breaking at her effort to speak up.

  I nodded slowly. “Of course I do.” And that was the truth. I had been drinking but I also told her I would remember that night forever.

  “You said we were a mess.” She took a deep breath that made her frown. Breathing hurt her and she wasn’t able to keep that from me. I reached for her hand and she let me take it. My need to touch her never left me. She studied me again, now battling her thoughts about what to say.

  “I want to start over. You said you want to hold me and keep me close, but I don’t think that will work out if you won’t let me get close to you. If you really want this—us—you have to open up to me.”

  Opening up to her sounded like a bad idea. I had a past full of violence, hatred, and mistakes. Jagger knew some about it but even he didn’t get to hear the full story. I slowly shook my head.

  “That would only push you away, sweetheart, and I’m not sure I want that.”

  She shrugged. “That’s something I will have to decide.” She was right on that. The things I told Jagger only welded us together and made our friendship stronger. Because I knew about his past too.

  I sighed, letting my head fall and running my hands through my hair. “One step at a time?” I asked, looking back up into that beautiful face of hers. She nodded, giving me a small, tired smile. I relaxed a bit, knowing she was going to give me another chance.

  “This is my fault,” I said, nodding to her injured body. “I promise you I will be better. I will make it all so much better.”

  “I’m alive, Hunter. I will be fine.” I smiled at that, her strength and positivity amazing me each damn time. I pulled her hand to my mouth, kissing the back of it while keeping my eyes on hers. “You’re incredible.”

  She nodded, telling me she was well aware of that. She should be. Nothing but the truth in that.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Harlow

  Jagger entering the room was probably what I needed. I was getting drawn into Hunter’s charming words again too quickly and I told myself, and him, to take it slow this time. We had a lot to figure out, and him giving me that sweet smile of his and the way he touched me was making me feel all types of ways. I needed to approach this at a normal pace. The last time I let him get close I was head over heels and I couldn’t think straight. I let him get to me, so close I wasn’t sure how to handle his whole being. He had issues. I figured that out some time ago, but I never had the guts to ask him about it. His anger and hurtful words and way of treating me were enough to keep me quiet, yet not enough to keep me away from him.

  When it came to Hunter, I just couldn’t think straight. I wanted him close but I also wanted to shout at him and tell him to get away from me. Something in his eyes told me that he needed someone to look after him. Someone who cared about him.

  “Doc wants us gone,” Jag said, looking at Hunter, then turning his gaze to me. “I’ll come by in the morning. You need some rest.” It was already way past midnight and I knew Jagger and Hunter were up all night, not getting any sleep since the accident happened. I felt Hunter’s hand squeeze mine and I turned to look at him. He had a deep crease in his forehead, telling me he wasn’t ready to leave me alone.

  “You two need some sleep too.” I looked back over at Jagger, who had his arms crossed over his chest and a disapproving frown on his face. “We’ve talked about this, okay?” I sighed, now frowning back at him. “I can’t keep him out of my life. We talked and we’re figuring things out. I’m a big girl, Jag. I know what I’m doing. You gotta trust me.”

  “I trust you, sweet girl. It’s him I’m not so sure about.” He nodded his head toward Hunter, keeping his eyes on me.

  “He messed up a couple of times. He’s been an ass most of the time, but there is something that keeps me from running from him. I have no idea why my heart and mind want him near, but he needs me. He’s broken. And even if I don’t quite understand why I want to be the one t
o fix him, I can’t push myself away from him. He’s your friend. He needs you too.” I looked back at Hunter. His eyes were full of shame and slight anger. Good. He needed to hear me say all that to realize that I’m not blind. I saw how much he’s hurting inside and I was going to help him conquer it.

  “Now, both of you stop acting like you’re at my funeral and get out of here. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Talking that much hurt my lungs. But I had to get it out there even if I wasn’t making much sense.

  “And no more fighting,” I warned Jagger. His frown was growing for a second but it quickly turned into a grin he couldn’t hold back. He shook his head, letting his arms fall to his side. “Damn, sis, what the hell has gotten into you?”

  Hunter let out a chuckle, patting my hand before he got up from his seat.

  “I think I gotta be more scared for you than for her, man,” Jag said, looking back at Hunter. He nodded, bending down to kiss my lips softly. “Rest, love. See you tomorrow,” he whispered, then walked over to the door. Jagger took two steps toward the bed, then bent down to kiss the top of my head before saying he loved me and wishing me a good night.

  I watched them both exit the room, wondering how I was so lucky to have two men in my life who actually cared. Well, Jagger always did. He was my rock, my home, my everything since the day I was born. But it was new to me to have Hunter and knowing he wouldn’t let go of me. He had told me he wanted me close. I believed him. No doubt in that.

  I couldn’t fall back asleep after they left and I was battling to just stay awake for the rest of the night or force myself to sleep. Maybe some television would help. I reached for the remote next to my bed and turned on the TV, switching channels a few times before leaving it on some cartoons. I didn’t watch lots of TV at home, but I knew this show was called Archer.

  Just as I put the remote down, my phone vibrated, and I picked it up to look at the message written on my screen.

  Hunter: Still awake?

  I smiled at his text and quickly started typing a reply when a soft knock came from the door. I turned, thinking it would be a nurse or Dr. Sullivan to check on me but the second I saw Hunter’s head peek through, I found myself smiling even wider.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “You really think I’m going to let you stay in this hospital all alone?” He walked over to me, grabbing my face into his hands and gently kissing me. That was it. I didn’t care if he was allowed to be here or that I’ve told him to leave just a while ago. I wanted him here.

  “You’re crazy,” I mumbled into the kiss.

  He grinned, pulling away to look me in the eyes. “You have no idea how fucking crazy I am about you, love.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Hunter

  Having her in my arms was all I needed after everything that happened. I wasn’t supposed to be here. Jagger was gone and told me to go home, but I wasn’t ready to let Low stay all by herself in the hospital. It was also in the middle of the night and she probably needed some more sleep, yet she was snuggling up to me as close as her pain would let her.

  She pulled me down next to her and told me to lie down with her. I was hesitant, not wanting to hurt her or take her space, but she almost threatened me that if I wouldn’t lay down with her she would push the button on the head of her bed to call Dr. Sullivan. She was pretty stubborn and I realized that I’d be better off pleasing her and not piss her off.

  I’ve been over that. I’ve pushed her limits multiple times and it ended in her either crying, being mad, or doubting herself. I didn’t want any of those things, so I just gave in and carefully lay down next to her.

  I turned, lying on my side and reaching my hand up to cup her face. She was still on her back, just turning her head to me and letting her eyes wander over my face. Every time she did that, she started to chew on her bottom lip. Her brows would furrow from time to time and her eyes showed different emotions every other second. It was like there was a battle in her brain, trying to figure out her next move. Fascinating as hell, which only confirmed my theory of being able to read her well.

  “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, love?” I asked in a whisper, brushing her hair back and tugging it behind her ear. She kept her eyes on me, looking at my lips for a while before they came back up to meet my eyes.

  “Tell me about your childhood,” she said, making my head spin with memories flashing through my mind at high speed. This was coming, and I knew if I wanted to keep her close to me, I needed to open up. Still, I wasn’t sure I could just go on and tell her about every little thing that had happened to me when I was a kid. My past was full of missteps and maltreatment. I hated to talk about it. But then, I knew about her past without her knowing and that wasn’t fair.

  I studied her the same way she always studied me for a while before taking a deep breath. I leaned into her, taking her lips and gently kissing them. I needed another taste. I was scared that she would push me away because my life before Hastings was scary and miserable. This town changed me and made me realize many things.

  She opened her mouth just enough to let me slip my tongue inside her mouth to get some more of her sweetness. Fuck me. How was I supposed to ever let go of her? We never had sex. The most I’ve seen of her were her tits. Best fucking tits I ever got to kiss and suck on. But if just kissing her made me want to act like a mad man, banging my fists against my chest like a crazed man, I don’t know how I could ever be without her.

  Her hand came up to touch my neck and the sweetest little noise broke out from her as I grabbed a fistful of her hair at the back of her head. I felt her hips move against me and her other hand reached down to grab my shirt right at the hem, telling me she wanted much more. She wasn’t the only one, though.

  “If you weren’t injured and in a hospital bed, I would make you feel so good, sweetheart.” My lips still touched hers as I said those words and I couldn’t help but grin the second a whispered moan escaped her.

  “Hunter,” she mumbled, grabbing my shirt with her hand. “You didn’t answer me.”

  At this point, I wasn’t sure I could stop myself from this. She was enjoying me saying those things while touching and kissing her.

  Taking a small nip at her bottom lip, I let my hand run through her hair again, tugging on it just enough to hear that moan again. “You don’t really want me to stop,” I said, knowing exactly what her answer to that would be. “That night I spent in your bed…” I started kissing her neck. “I was so damn drunk but I knew I had to hold myself together. I was battling my fucking head not to slip a hand down those sweet pajama pants you had on. I was so damn close to ripping them off, but I knew I had to play nice.”

  I felt her shiver next to me and now her hand gripped my hair, pulling tight at the ends and making me look up to see her face full of lust and desire. We were in a damn hospital bed and she was worked up just by my dirty talk. I liked it. And I knew she did too. So why stop there? The past can wait. This was not a place I wanted to talk about my fucking past. I needed her all to myself, cuddled up with me on her bed.

  “Right now, I would love to do just that. Slip my hand down your panties and make you feel so good, love.”

  Another moan escaped her.

  “But I don’t wanna hurt you, you know?” I kissed her lips again, exploring her mouth with my tongue and letting her pull my hair as hard as she wanted. “You think you can wait? Wait until you’re all fixed up and strong again?” Looking back into her eyes, I saw the frustration in them. I knew what she wanted, but it wasn’t going to happen. And she knew that too.

  “I think so,” she whispered.

  That made me chuckle. “I hope so, sweetheart. Breathing is an important part of orgasms and your pretty lungs aren’t strong enough for that just yet.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Harlow

  I couldn’t take more of his teasing. Even with all the pain, my body was on fire and my heart was beating faster than ever. Even
the machine I was attached to was making weird noises, probably because my breathing sped up too. I was hoping it wasn’t the nurse’s turn to come in and check on me yet.

  Hunter’s words made me feel warm and fuzzy inside and I could feel the wetness down there. The way he used his words was new to me. He was very blunt with them before but he never actually used them in a sexual way toward me. He cussed a lot, said fuck or fucking multiple times in a conversation. That didn’t bother me at all. But hearing him say those words, telling me what he wanted to do with me and my body so precisely made me wonder if he used those words with other girls too. If he had ever told a girl how wet her panties were and wanting to make them orgasm.

  No, I wasn’t about to get jealous about that. He was with me. Why bother thinking about him and other girls?

  “Harlow, love, you with me?” he asked, leaning over me.

  I nodded, realizing I had spaced out while he was kissing my neck and trying to keep up with his words.

  “Would it be that exhausting? I mean…the orgasm?” I asked in a whisper, almost too afraid to speak up or even say that word.

  Hunter’s smile grew wide. “You’ve never had an orgasm,” he said, not even putting it in a question because he knew already that it was the truth. I shrugged, embarrassed by my inexperience.

  “Sweetheart,” he started, brushing a strand of hair back and tugging it behind my ear. His eyes went dark and his tongue came out to lick his lips. God, he was just too damn handsome.

  “As much as I would like to taste your sweetness, I really don’t think you could handle any of it. I need you naked and unhurt. I need to be able to play with those sweet tits of yours while I suck on your clit and play with your pussy. And I need to hear you scream my name and make those heavenly sounds you make as loud as possible. But that’s not gonna happen in a damn hospital bed, with you injured and all wrapped up in bandages.”