Harlow
My thoughts were all over the place and I wasn’t sure what to think about Jagger ignoring my question about Gunner, and Hunter not even looking at me when he left. I wasn’t hurt by the fact that he didn’t say goodbye, but more by the hint they both gave me that they were hiding something I couldn’t know about. Bliss too. She knew who Gunner was and just a guy they were friendly with sounded stupid in my ears, never mind the fact that I still didn’t know what Jag and Hunter did when they handled business together.
I promised Jagger never to ask about what he did when he went out. I trusted him not doing anything stupid or illegal, but I knew that was not the case. That one night I had asked Hunter if Jagger ever consumed drugs and his response was simply “who doesn’t?” I knew from then on that Jagger wasn’t clean, though he hid it from me like a champ. Smoking a joint wasn’t that bad in my eyes, and I was sure Jag didn’t take any harder drugs. I would’ve noticed otherwise, right?
Now, all of this drug-thing didn’t really bother me. People bought and sold them around Hastings all the time and I had seen people dealing in the middle of the street, not worried about cops seeing them. So why was I taking it so hard to swallow the fact that my brother and the guy I was starting to fall in love with were potential drug dealers?
Potential. That’s the word bothering me.
“Where are they going?” I asked Bliss, not minding my own business for once. Hell, I was allowed to ask about where they were going for once.
Bliss’s smile didn’t meet her eyes and she looked slightly apologetic. “If I knew, I would tell you, darling.”
Well, that was a total lie. Straight to my face. But I wasn’t going to start a fight with Bliss. She wasn’t who I had to get angry with for not telling me. It wasn’t her life I worried about.
I nodded slowly, letting it go simply because I didn’t want to start any discussion. “Can you at least promise me that they’re gonna be safe?” My throat was sore, and talking didn’t feel good. Getting air pushed into my lungs through tubes at the hospital really had an effect on my vocal cords and it was the first time I felt like being quiet was okay.
“I can promise you will see them first thing in the morning, if not later tonight.” Her eyes were honest and I decided that it was enough for now. I trusted Jagger not to do anything stupid, but Hunter? Oh my, that man was unpredictable.
“Come on, Low. You must be hungry, and I got some food from Frankie’s. He sends you best wishes and an extra slice of chocolate cake. He said you always sneak some bites behind the counter when no one is around,” she said with a grin, and I tried not to frown at her anymore. I hadn’t even realized I was doing it until my forehead started to ache a little. She was not going to solve any problems which involved Jag and Hunter, so I just had to be patient.
Bliss was nice and sweet. Someone I could call a friend, even if I just met her a few weeks ago. I needed to give her a chance and keep her in my life since I didn’t have friends around here. It never really occurred to me that many girls at my college, which I literally never attended anymore, would’ve been people I could chat with or spend time with. It didn’t occur to me because I didn’t have the time to go out with people. All my time was used for work at the diner so I could help Jagger financially. I liked it, and since Bliss wasn’t a girl from school, I thought she was a good fit for a friend.
“Frankie’s cakes are my favorite,” I admitted with a smile and walked over to the couch to sit down. Bliss’s grin grew wide and she got up from the recliner to get the food she had put in the oven to keep warm. “I love how food brings people together. I mean, the diner I work at is full of football jocks and teenagers who want to feel like they’re in one of those cliché, annoying movies. But other than that, I love being a waitress.”
I could tell she was excited to spend time with me. She was all happy, and I started to think that maybe a friend was really all I needed for a long time. I wasn’t shy or anything like that, but I just didn’t want to open up to people and let them into my life and possibly annoy them with my stories from the past. But Bliss was different in this situation. She knew what she was letting herself into by being my friend, and she seemed to not have any problems with that. Besides that, we both had bad childhood memories. It was funny how it was now Jagger, Bliss, Hunter, and me who came together since we all went through hell as kids.
“Why did you and Hunter get adopted together when you’re not related?” Just after asking that I wondered if it was an insensitive question to ask, but Bliss didn’t seem to mind at all.
“I guess it was fate. Our parents put us in the orphanage around the same time. Hunter was still a baby and I was three. I remember sitting in a small playroom with Hunter crying in a small hay basket. Almost like a picnic basket. He was wrapped up in a damn towel and I remember wondering if he just had taken a bath. I was too little to understand that his parents didn’t really have much to care for him and took the next best things to bring him safely to the orphanage. I sat there with him next to me and listened to him cry until one of the women working at that orphanage, Margie, came in with two duffle bags and a sad smile on her face. I was little, but I remember well what she said to us then. She said that we would be feeling so much better soon and that we would make many new friends to play with. That excited me since I never got to play with other kids. I wanted to make friends and explore, but I also wanted Hunter to stop crying. So I reached for his little hand and looked at him, Margie still standing there watching us. Seconds after touching Hunter’s hand he stopped crying, and when he looked at me with those big grey eyes, I simply said, “You don’t have to be scared anymore. I will protect you.” Margie had told us that story many times while growing up and she said to us that she knew she would only give us up for adoption together. I guess we had a connection that grew stronger each day. I remember running to the other side of the orphanage each day to check on Hunter and play with him.” She paused for a second, then let out a small laugh.
“I remember one day we were allowed to play outside in the backyard and I was playing with two other girls. I suddenly heard some boys giggle and say some rude words, so I turned around and saw Hunter crying with a small wound on his face, and about five other boys standing around him with sticks in their hands. I ran up to them and told them to leave him alone or I would do terrible things to them at night. I was seven and Hunter almost four. Those kids were scared of me and ran off. Luckily, Hunter wasn’t hurt badly. Just a small cut on the cheek. He was alone most of the time and didn’t make friends as easy as I did. Margie also said that he was a little emotionally unstable for his age, always had anger issues, and couldn’t sit still for more than ten minutes. We took on the role of taking care of each other and I’m the luckiest to be able to call him my little brother. Even if we don’t have that sweet type of sibling relationship you and Jagger have. I love him with all my heart and he knows it. I guess that’s all that matters.”
Chapter Forty-Seven
Harlow
Hunter had issues that came from his early childhood. He couldn’t control them and I was starting to put all the pieces together. It made more sense now, knowing the anger he carried around came from way back when he was small. I’ve always known he had gone through some terrible things to turn out the way he did, and now that Bliss told me more about their past, I understood how a man could possibly switch personalities from one minute to the other. But Bliss hadn’t told me everything. Just a little snippet of their lives as kids in the orphanage.
It was sad knowing their parents had left them there at such a young age, but I was glad they found each other. It was hard listening to the words Bliss said, wishing it was Hunter opening up to me like this. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated the fact that Bliss trusted me enough with her story, but Hunter was troubled, and I could tell each time I looked into his eyes there was something dancing around in there that needed to get out. He held back everything, building up hate and rage
until he exploded. I got a taste of that before and I couldn’t figure out how I would get close to him and help. I wanted to listen to what he had to say. Listen to his own words, describing how he felt.
But for now, I had Bliss’s side of the story.
“I’m so sorry, Bliss. But I’m glad you’ve made it. I mean, you’re a strong woman who dealt with all of that and now you’re here, still on this earth, and still keeping it up and doing the best you can. You two are lucky to have each other.” I smiled, squeezing her hand to let her know I really meant it, even if my voice was weak.
Her sad smile told me she had so much more to say, but I wasn’t expecting her to share more with me right now. I wasn’t going to push her. “You know, Harlow,” she started, now squeezing my hand in return. “We haven’t talked much, but Hunter told me many times how special you are. He said the way you use your words to comfort people even if they were in the wrong is like a gift. Most people would use others to talk about their problems, annoy them with their whining, but you, Low, you listen and never judge. You’ve just confirmed that. And I know Hunter probably never really told you, but he appreciates the way you treat him. He has a troubled mind, sick thoughts most of the time, and I know you calm him down. I’m thankful you’re keeping up with him like that.”
Her words didn’t really make sense. Her sentences were all over the place but I knew where she was going with all of that.
“I’m just trying to get to know him better,” I told her. I didn’t know what else to say. That’s all I’ve wanted since Hunter and I had that little fight in the kitchen. I had called him an asshole and he got angry, putting his hand on my throat. That’s when I realized he wasn’t really doing okay.
It was a mental health issue and I knew that topic was a difficult one. I had to take it easy on Hunter.
“You will. Time is all he needs.”
I nodded. I could give that to him. Just like he said before at the hospital: “One step at a time.”
“Do you and Hunter ever talk? I mean, do you ever have those deep conversations?” I then asked. Bliss puckered up her lips, looking up at the ceiling and then shaking her head.
“We do talk. But we most times just check in on each other. I think that’s enough. We’re grown-ups. If there’s something to say, we say it.” She then smiled and tilted her head.
“But you and Jagger,” she started. “You two are something else. I’ve seen siblings being close, but you guys should be getting awards for best brother and sister in the world.”
I laughed because I knew there wasn’t such a thing as a best brother and sister award. But I see where she was coming from with it. “We had some things happen in our lives which we couldn’t really control, and supporting each other was the only thing we had power over. I couldn’t imagine life without him. I think I wouldn’t have survived without him by my side. He’s my superhero.”
Bliss smiled again and I could see tears form in her eyes. “He once told me your parents weren’t really there for you,” she said, slightly unsure. I nodded. I felt like opening up to her a bit wouldn’t hurt either of us. But I wasn’t really feeling strong enough to remember my childhood.
“They had other plans than being parents,” was all I said, and luckily, it was enough. She nodded, then pointed to the food in front of us. “We should eat. That chocolate cake smells really delicious, and I’m so damn close to eating dessert first.”
That made me laugh because the smell of it was bothering me too. I was hungry and junk food soothed me.
We both grabbed a burger and started eating. “Will you spend the night here?” I asked. She shrugged, looking over at the digital clock on the microwave. “I’m not gonna lie. Jagger kind of forced me to stay here until he comes back. He said he doesn’t want you here all alone because of Dean.”
His name being said won all of my attention. Dean? “I, uh, what?” I didn’t understand why Jagger was afraid Dean would show up. All these years he hadn’t. So why now?
“Oh, my God,” Bliss whispered under her breath and her hand landed on her forehead, telling me she wasn’t supposed to tell me that. She looked up at me, her eyes wide. “I’m so stupid.”
I frowned. “You’re babysitting me.” It wasn’t a question, more like a fact. “Dean is in town?” I asked then, realizing that it was the only possible reason for Jagger to be worried. Bliss shrugged, then sighed. “I’m not sure. He didn’t say Dean’s in Hastings but…” She stopped, looking at me with indecisive eyes.
“But what, Bliss?” I asked, almost frustrated. Why was everybody hiding things from me? Was I this naïve? I was starting to get impatient with everything and everyone. God, how was I the stupid one now?
She sighed again, putting her burger down and looking at her hands. “Jagger told me that Dean called. Again. He’s sure Dean’s close. Now, I don’t know your father, but Jagger said he’s an asshole. I’m just here to make sure you’re okay. Besides, you just had an accident.”
“Right.” I didn’t have other words. I didn’t mean to be angry with Bliss. It wasn’t her fault. But finding out Jagger was hiding this thing with Dean bothered the hell out of me.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Harlow
Bliss and I finished eating our food and I didn’t really feel like talking. But like I said before, Bliss had nothing to do with what Jagger was hiding from me. I couldn’t be mad at her for keeping a secret that wasn’t really her business. She was nice enough to keep me company and make sure I was okay since I just came out of the hospital.
It was the very first time I felt some sort of betrayal and anger toward Jagger. I knew I wasn’t the type of person to hate or treat others ignorantly just because they did something I didn’t approve of, but something in me was telling me that for once in my life, I was allowed to get angry. Angry was a strong word, anyway. I was just a bit confused as to why Jagger wouldn’t tell me about Dean being around. If he was scared he might come close to me when he wasn’t around, why wouldn’t he just stay with me himself?
I watched as Bliss cleaned up the coffee table in front of me and then brought me a hot cup of tea. She sat back down next to me, sighing and rubbing my back in comfort. “I’m sorry this is all happening.”
“It’s not your fault, Bliss,” I assured her, taking the cup in both my hands and staring down at it. “I just wish Jagger would talk to me more about things like that. I don’t care what he does when he’s out. I know he has a job at the mechanic’s and he earns money the way people should be earning money. He’s home when I need him to be. But there’s this heavy feeling inside of me that tells me something big is coming my way and I’m not sure I’m ready to take it.”
I didn’t get an immediate response from her, which only showed me once more that there was something going on I wasn’t allowed to know. I looked up to see Bliss stare upfront at the TV. She was blankly staring at it, probably thinking about what she was allowed to say and what she’d rather keep to herself. Perfect.
“It’s hard not being part of something that is clearly tearing people apart. I would like to help and I would appreciate it if you could just tell me something about it.”
I promised myself not to dig deeper or push her to say anything, yet here I was, being impatient and probably too insistent. I kept my voice low, not wanting to scare her or anything.
“I really shouldn’t—” Bliss started to say, but she was interrupted by the front door opening and closing, then heavy footsteps echoed through the hallway behind us.
I turned to see Jagger walk straight to the kitchen, Hunter following close behind while tucking in his gun at the back of his jeans. It wasn’t the first time I saw them handling guns or knives, but it was the first time I wondered if they ever pulled the trigger on someone. If they just used those weapons to scare people or to actually hurt them.
Both of them were seemingly irritated and angry. Jagger more so than Hunter. I watched Hunter come to a halt in the living room as he looked
at me with dark eyes, then he let out a deep sigh. I was waiting for him to say something when Jagger came back from the kitchen with a beer in his hand. He pointed the bottom of the bottle toward Bliss while looking at Hunter. “Take her home,” was all he said before taking long sips from his beer.
“What is happening?” I asked, wondering why I even opened my mouth at this point. Hunter had a gun on him, Jagger was obviously furious, and Bliss had that knowing look on her face that something bad was going on.
“Come on,” Hunter said almost in a whisper to his sister and I quickly shot him a glare. How was he ignoring me now? Even before he left, he hadn’t said goodbye. Was I the bad guy in this situation or what was going on?
Bliss got up and gave me a small smile before heading toward Hunter. My eyes were back on Jagger, who now leaned against the doorway between the kitchen and living room.
Are they kidding me?
I quickly sat up straight, standing up as fast as I could. “No. You don’t get to just leave without even looking me in the eyes properly,” I said to Hunter, frustrated. Then I pointed at my brother, who didn’t seem to care for anything right now. “And you…” I let out a laugh that didn’t meet the slightest amount of joy in my body. “You need to be honest and truthful with me now.”
None of them had expected me to go off like that. Well, it wasn’t as dramatic as I thought it was, but it was a start at least. There were secrets in that living room and I was the only one not being part of them. It was starting to bother me so much, that I was seeing a side of me I never even thought existed. And I hated it.
“I don’t think this is the time to talk about it,” Bliss said, and it was literally the first time since that night I rolled my eyes at Hunter for saying something stupid that I did it again.
“Can you like, not, Bliss?” I asked, surprising myself for being such a bitch.
The Hastings Series Page 15
