Exasperating (Elite Protection Services Book 3)

by Onley James

  He took the photo from Webster, his hands shaking. The photo was blown up so only the girl’s pale pink birthmark was visible. The mark sat higher now than he’d remembered, but that’s what happens when people grow. He couldn’t speak, he just nodded and handed the picture back. Finally, he said, “Have them run the tests, please.”

  “Yeah, you got it. I’ll let you know whenever the results are back.”

  Calder stood and walked back to the main part of the office where Robby was hugging his sister goodbye. When he saw Calder, he gave him a smile, but it died at whatever expression he saw on Calder’s face.

  “Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Robby whispered as the elevator doors closed on his sister.

  “Can we just go home, angel?”

  Robby nodded, his brows drawing together as he took Calder’s hand. “Yeah, we can go anywhere you want.”

  Robby held his tongue the whole way back to the safehouse. It wasn’t that he was afraid to speak but more that he didn’t want to give Calder a reason to have to answer. Whatever Webster had told him had shaken him badly. His white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel and the way the muscle in his jaw ticked told Robby that Calder was barely keeping it together.

  Once they returned to their temporary home, Calder remained quiet. Robby made them both sandwiches, but Calder fed most of his to Cas then disappeared into the dining room. Cas followed along behind him and Robby did too, though it seemed pathetic and weird to just follow Calder around. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he watched Calder move about, pulling paints from plastic drawers and tossing them onto the scarred wooden block table.

  Should he leave? Did Calder want to paint alone? He had no idea what the protocol was for something like this. While Robby didn’t know exactly what Webster had said, there was only one type of news that could impact a person so hard. Megan was dead. It seemed crazy that Calder would hold out hope she’d somehow survived, but Robby knew, deep down, that some part of him had needed to believe she was still out there somewhere, no matter how impossible it seemed.

  Robby ached for him.

  Cas jumped up onto the table like his legs were made of springs. Calder gave him a small pat on the head, moving the oils and such out of the way so the dog could curl up and watch. Robby wanted to watch too. Calder pulled a fresh canvas from underneath the table and set it on the easel, then he turned and walked directly to where Robby lurked in the corner. “I can—”

  Calder gripped the hem of Robby’s shirt, tugging it up until it bunched under his arms and he was left with no choice but to lift them. He had no idea what Calder was trying to do, but he was already half hard from the near feral look on Calder’s face. Robby stared at Calder quizzically as he pulled him to the stool catty-corner to the easel and had him sit-stand against it. He shoved his hands in Robby’s hair, deliberately undoing the little styling Robby had managed that morning. He was afraid to speak. He didn’t want to interrupt the strange, almost electric tension in the air.

  He bit his bottom lip as he tried to understand what was happening. Calder cupped his face, tugging his lip free, before slanting his mouth over Robby’s in a bruising kiss that left Robby tenting his joggers and wanting much more than whatever this was. But Calder seemed satisfied with what he’d accomplished. He walked to the canvas, picked up his brush, and started to make broad sweeping strokes with an umber paint. Every few moments, Calder would flick his gaze to Robby and then back to the painting. That’s when Robby realized…Calder was painting him.

  Robby did his best to hold still, but it was hard when Calder was standing there with half his hair pulled up and off his perfect face and his fingers were covered in paint and each flick of the brush made the muscles in his arms and back flex. Robby loved watching Calder, loved being able to actually see Calder’s vision materialize. The way he squinted at the canvas, the boldness and surety of his brushstrokes. It was fascinating. It was sexy. Robby stifled a groan. It was ridiculous that he was this turned on just from this, especially when he knew that Calder was painting to escape from his pain, to turn his focus away from Megan and whatever he’d learned.

  Random curves and lines began to take on his likeness, first as an abstract and then as a much more beautiful version of himself. Not just beautiful but debauched, with a major case of bedhead and kiss-bitten lips and a look in his eye that made him feel exposed, like anybody who looked at that painting would know exactly how Robby felt about Calder. Is that really how Calder saw him? It didn’t make any sense. Robby’s self esteem wasn’t so low that he thought he was ugly. He was just wholly…unremarkable.

  Robby suddenly felt like he was choking. He cleared his throat. “I-I’ll be right back. I have to…do something.”

  He scurried away from Calder like he was some scared little mouse, knowing deep down he was a fraud. Calder looked at him but maybe only saw Robby the way he wanted to. He couldn’t see what a huge mess Robby truly was inside where it mattered. He didn’t want to make this about him and his issues, not when Calder was obviously hurting. All he could do was just find a place to hide until the feeling passed.

  He walked to the bathroom and turned on the cold water, splashing it across his face. What was wrong with him? Wasn’t it a good thing if the person you loved thought of you as more than you actually were? Wasn’t that the best possible outcome? Robby opened his eyes to see Calder standing in the doorway, something in his hand.

  Robby turned. “I didn’t mean to run off. I hope I didn’t ruin—”

  Suddenly, Calder’s mouth was on his, the weight of his body shoving Robby into the counter with a force that might have hurt if Robby’s brain hadn’t fallen offline at Calder’s first touch. Robby had no idea what was happening, but Calder was kissing him like they might never see each other again. His hands were rough and bruising, and he was pushing Robby’s clothing down and out of the way. Calder spun him around as he dropped to his knees, spreading Robby open. He cried out in surprise as Calder speared his tongue into his hole.

  Robby gripped the counter until his fingers ached. He couldn’t think; he couldn’t even fucking breathe. Calder’s tongue felt so good that all his brain could manage was now and yes and please and more, more, more.

  Robby’s cock had been hard almost since Calder had kissed him in the dining room, but now, he was aching, his throbbing cock trapped against the counter. Calder buried his face in Robby’s heat, fucking him with his tongue. He prayed his knees wouldn’t buckle as Calder did things to Robby’s body that made his eyes water.

  Calder’s hand snaked up onto the counter, snagging whatever it was he’d had in his hand when he’d first entered the bathroom. Robby’s whine of frustration turned into a low moan as Calder’s tongue disappeared and was replaced by two slick fingers. There was no finesse, no gentleness. He worked his fingers in and out of Robby’s hole with purpose, and the thought of Calder’s carelessness, his need to just get past this part so he could get inside Robby left him feeling overwhelmed in the best possible way.

  Calder stood as he pulled his fingers free, tearing at his jeans to free his erection. Robby canted his hips backward without thought, suddenly desperate to feel the familiar ache of Calder’s thick cock inside him. He hissed as Calder pushed his way inside, Robby’s insides rearranging themselves to allow Calder’s entrance. Once he was buried to the hilt, he gripped Robby’s hips, his beard scraping Robby’s cheek as he whispered, “Tell me you’re okay.”

  It wasn’t said like a question but Robby answered it anyway. “I’m so beyond okay. Fuck me. Please.”

  Calder made a noise that Robby felt all the way down to his toes, this feral snarl that was sexy as fuck and dangerous as hell but still made Robby feel like there was nowhere safer than there with Calder. He still wasn’t ready to be gentle. He fucked Robby hard and fast, each stroke driving him up onto his toes, his eyes rolling back as Calder somehow managed to hit that magical spot that had sparks shooting behind his eyelids. When he finally manage
d to open his eyes, his mouth fell open.

  The picture they made was lurid but so incredibly hot. Calder fucked him like he was on a mission, like he couldn’t keep his hands off Robby, like he needed to claim him, own him, make him submit. Calder’s fist buried in Robby’s hair, bending him back to capture his mouth in a sloppy kiss as he pounded into him even harder.

  Robby wasn’t forming words but he couldn’t keep silent. Every thrust dragged a cry or a moan or just a breathless panting ‘uh uh’ that felt ripped from his toes. When Calder’s hand finally closed around Robby’s aching neglected cock, he sobbed in relief. It hadn’t even occurred to him to try to take care of himself. For once, he was there for Calder’s pleasure. This was the one thing he could give him after Calder had given him everything, had been there for him, had taken care of him without question since day one.

  He leaned back, trusting Calder to keep him on his feet, his lids at half mast as Calder jerked him in time with his thrusts, the dry friction just this side of painful. It didn’t take long for Robby to feel that familiar sensation, that spark of heat at the base of his spine, his balls drawing up tight to his body. “I’m gonna come. I-I—”

  Robby’s whole body seized as his orgasm slammed into him, Calder catching the cum in his hand and using it to ring every last bit of pleasure from Robby until he cried out at the sudden sensitivity. Calder’s arms slid under Robby’s, his hands catching Robby’s shoulders as he fucked into him again and again until Robby wasn’t sure he could take anymore. Calder gave one last thrust, his hips stuttering as his teeth sank into Robby’s shoulder and he made an animalistic sound.

  Calder leaned back against the wall, bringing Robby with him. They both stood panting, sucking much needed air back into their lungs. They were both covered in cum and sweat and even bits of oil paint. After a few minutes, Calder peppered kisses along Robby’s temple to his ear. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That was too much. You’re… I should have been more careful with you.”

  “Stop apologizing. I’m not made of glass. I liked it. I still can’t believe somebody like you would ever even look at somebody like me.”

  Calder blew air out of his nose. “Stop saying that. How can you not see how fucking special you are? I’ve wanted you since the minute I laid eyes on you and not because you were forbidden fruit and not because you were some innocent little virgin. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out. You live in the most shallow place in the world, yet you somehow manage to stay sweet and gentle. You adopt unadoptable dogs, and you stay friends with a person even after they hurt you, and you say what’s on your mind even when you’re terrified. People like you never really existed in my world, and I have no idea how we got here but this is where I want to be. You are who I want. Just you. Only you.”

  Robby’s mouth was suddenly bone dry. “I just want you too.”

  Calder kissed his head and gently pushed him away, his spent cock slipping free of Robby uncomfortably. “Let’s get cleaned up.”

  Calder removed his jeans which were still caught around his thighs before helping Robby step free of his clothes. Once they were under the water, the steam in the shower all but choking Robby, Calder’s mood shifted. He rested his forearms against the tile, his forehead pressed against his hands. Robby silently took the washcloth and began to clean Calder, careful not to linger for too long anywhere. When he finished with that task, he washed himself quickly before grabbing the shampoo and lathering Calder’s hair. Calder didn’t speak, just allowed Robby to shift him under the spray to rinse his head. When they were clean, the water began to turn cool and then frigid. Robby attempted to turn the water off, but Calder snagged his wrists, gently pushing him towards the shower door. Robby frowned but didn’t argue. He just dried himself off, giving Calder one last look before he walked out.

  Robby pulled on a pair of blue and white striped boxer briefs and sat on the bed facing the bathroom door. He didn’t know what else to do. He wanted to give Calder his space but he wanted to be there if he needed him.

  Calder finally emerged twenty minutes later with a towel around his narrow hips, his long hair free and still wet enough for huge fat droplets to slide down his chest and belly before disappearing into the white cotton fabric of the towel. He stopped short when he saw Robby, and for a split second, he felt like the earth stopped spinning. Would he ask Robby to go? Then Calder stumbled forward, dropping to his knees on the floor in front of Robby, burying his head in his lap. Robby’s arms came around him automatically, his heart squeezing.

  “You’re freezing, baby,” he whispered, grabbing the blanket from the end of the bed and wrapping it around Calder’s shoulders.

  Calder didn’t speak, just snaked his arms around Robby’s waist. Freezing water seeped through the thin material of Robby’s underwear, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything but Calder who clung to Robby like he was a life raft. He folded himself over Calder like a shield, wanting to hide him from all of this but knowing that he couldn’t. All he could do was offer him a safe place to grieve. “You can fall apart, you know. I’m okay. You don’t have to stay strong for me or whatever.”

  For a second, Robby thought maybe Calder would choose to ignore him, but then his shoulders started to shake and a jagged howl escaped, almost like a wounded animal, shattering Robby’s heart into a million pieces. Tears slid down his cheeks as he did his best to just hang onto Calder as huge wracking sobs shook his body.

  He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, long enough for Calder to run out of tears.

  “What was she like?” Robby asked when they finally moved from the floor to the bed and he was snuggled close under Calder’s chin.

  Calder gave a sad smile, shaking his head. “I thought she was my mother until I was four. She was always carrying me around and wouldn’t let me do a thing for myself. My mom said I was slow to walk or talk ‘cause Megan did it all for me. She was super bossy, and she always had to be right. When I would have nightmares, she wouldn’t let me sleep with her ‘cause she said I needed to learn to be brave. Instead, I’d just wait ‘til she fell asleep and then go to sleep under her bed. But when Jamie Ryan shoved me off the school bus and broke my front tooth, Megan threatened to kick his big brother’s ass in retaliation since she couldn’t beat up a little kid. She read to me a lot. She would take me out in her car and we’d go driving up and down desolate roads, listening to Bon Jovi and Poison. She was a really good sister.”

  “She loved you. None of what happened to her was your fault. You know that, right?” Robby told him.

  It seemed like such an obvious thing to say, but Calder hugged him closer, dropping a kiss on his head. “Logically, I know that. But when my head gets quiet, my brain takes over and I think of all the ways she must have suffered at the hands of those monsters, the things they made her do. If I had just stayed with the Rangers, maybe I could have done something to at least take that fucker Elizer down. How many other girls were taken after I left? How many girls could I have helped?”

  “Calder…” Robby pressed his lips against Calder’s jaw. “You are pretty amazing, but you can’t single-handedly stop human trafficking. Like most evil things, when you chop off one monster’s head, another three grow back in its place. You couldn’t help Megan but you help keep people who are alive every day. People like me.”

  Calder nodded. “I know, angel. I just need to wallow in it for a bit.”

  “You can wallow as much as you want. I’ll stay right here and wallow too.” Robby said.

  Once more, Calder squeezed him tightly. “Thanks, angel.”

  Calder woke to a tongue licking his chin and a warm body sleeping with an arm and leg thrown over him and a pool of drool on his chest. He forced his eyes open, raising his arm to pat Cas’s scraggly tufted head, before gazing down at Robby. Sometimes, just looking at the boy overwhelmed him. He had no idea how he’d somehow earned Robby’s affection. Calder had no illusions about who he was and the things
he’d done in his life. He was wholly unworthy of Robby’s heart, and there was probably somebody better out there for the boy, somebody without baggage, somebody his own age. But Calder was just selfish enough to not care. He wasn’t letting Robby go, not as long as he wanted to be there.

  Cas whined and Calder shushed him, gently untangling himself from Robby before scooping up their ragamuffin dog. Throwing on black sweatpants and a t-shirt, he carried him into the kitchen under his arm like a football. After starting some coffee, he then went to grab his leash, taking the dog downstairs to the little patch of grass behind the building to let him do his business.

  At the top of the stair landing, he heard Tupac blasting from the bedroom and then Robby’s sleep soaked voice muttered, “‘ello?”

  Calder dropped Cas’s food in his dish and then wandered back into the bedroom. Robby sat cross-legged on the bed, nodding along with whatever the person on the other end was saying. When he saw Calder, his eyes went wide like he was receiving life altering news. Calder dropped down beside him, and Robby leaned closer, maybe so Calder could hear the voice on the phone or maybe just because he needed to hang onto something.

  Calder carefully took the phone away, noting it was Robby’s lawyer before he hit the speaker button, catching the man mid-sentence. “—told me this before you went to the Feds. We could have used this for leverage.”

  “It’s Calder. Leverage for what? What’s happening?”

  “I was just telling Robby that he should have brought his sister to me first, not the ATF. We could have used her information as a bargaining chip to get them to drop the charges against Robby.”