There Goes My Heart

by Bella Andre

  At last, she lost hold of her command of the English language, the sounds coming from her lips a random mixture of vowels and consonants.

  He wanted to take her this way—wanted to make her feel this good—every night, wanted to feel her skin damp and flushed beneath his hands, wanted to hear her breath come hard and fast, wanted to feel her limbs trembling from the aftershocks of her climax.

  How the hell was one night with Zara ever going to be enough?

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  As Rory scooped Zara into his arms and carried her to the bed, pleasure continued to radiate through every inch of her, from his hands roving over her skin…his mouth on her breasts…the play of his fingers, his tongue, between her thighs…

  He crawled over her as she lay sprawled on her back on the bed, her limbs feeling buttery and loose. “You look good enough to eat.” He paused as though for impact, before adding, “Again.”

  Though she’d never felt more relaxed, she owed it to him to come back with, “A teenage boy could have done better than that.”

  “I blame your orgasm for blowing my mind into a million little pieces.”

  She laughed as she summoned the energy to reach up and lay her hand on his bare chest. “Just as long as the rest of the equipment is in good working order, all is well.”

  “Don’t worry, baby, all is definitely well.”

  “Baby.” She snorted out the word as she ran her hand down the deep ridges of his abdominal muscles until she reached the top edge of his suit pants. “You should have warned me you were going to call me baby in front of my family. It took everything I had to keep a straight face.” Before he could reply, she said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring them up. Especially when you’re still left hanging here.”

  “If you want to talk about your family—or anything else—we’ll hit the pause button and talk as long as you want. Hell, even if you decide to kick me out right now, I’ll go.”

  She wasn’t sure she’d ever been with a man so attuned to making sure a woman felt not only safe, but in charge. Was this due to a great upbringing and having so many sisters?

  Or was it simply that Rory Sullivan was one of the good ones?

  “I don’t want to talk about my family,” she assured him. “And I definitely don’t want you to leave.”

  He blew out a comically relieved breath. “That was going to be one hell of a cold shower.”

  She moved her hand lower, cupping his erection—as much of it as she could fit in her palm. “Wasting this on a cold shower would be a travesty. In fact…” The few minutes’ rest had refueled her to the point that she was strong enough to surprise him by flipping them over on the bed. Straddling his hips while he lay on his back, she said, “I’m thinking it’s long past time for me to see if the reality lives up to the hype.”

  “There’s hype about my junk?”

  “You really are a teenage boy on the inside, aren’t you, calling your penis junk?” She couldn’t think of the last time anyone had made her laugh so much. “And yes, given the way women follow you around at the warehouse shows, your junk practically comes with its own publicity team. Not that I’m judging you for the sex you have,” she clarified. “All I care about is tonight. What you did before and what you’ll do after is all good.”

  His expression turned suddenly serious. “I haven’t been with anyone for a year.”

  Wow, she hadn’t been expecting that. Although if she stopped to think about it, she hadn’t actually seen him go home with any of his groupies. It was just that he was such a spectacular-looking man, not to mention successful, it didn’t make sense for him to be single.

  But this wasn’t the place or time to dig deeper into the hows and whys of Rory’s celibacy or lack of a romantic relationship. All she needed to say for tonight was, “I haven’t either.” She smiled as a lovely thought hit her. “You’re my fresh start.”

  He smiled back as he cupped her breasts and stroked them so softly it almost made her crazy. “And you’re mine.”

  “I always did love the first day of each new school year,” she murmured as she reached for the zipper of his slacks. “The sense that anything was possible. That I might become passionate about a new subject.” She felt giddy with anticipation as she added, “Although I’m pretty sure I never felt quite as passionate about school as I’m feeling right now.”

  Rory looked like he might have laughed had he not been clenching his jaw in an obvious effort to keep control as she slowly drew his zipper down. And when she moved the final layers of fabric away, he did not disappoint.

  In fact, she was stunned speechless for a long moment. “One night with you is going to ruin me for other men.”

  “Good.”

  She looked at him in surprise. He sounded far too happy about her dry streak continuing forever after the sun rose on their one-night blip in reality. Well, two could play that game. If he wanted her to spend the rest of her days longing for a repeat of tonight, she would damn well make sure he left feeling exactly the same way.

  But when she wrapped her fingers around him, she forgot everything but how good he felt. So big. So hot.

  So ready to rock her world in ways it’d never been rocked before.

  Tightening her grip, she moved her hand up and down his rock-hard shaft. It wasn’t enough just to touch him, though, she needed to kiss him too. She leaned forward to press her lips to his at the same time that he threaded his fingers into her hair and dragged her mouth to his.

  The kiss he gave her was incendiary. How the hotel room didn’t go up in flames, she’d never know.

  Still, she forced herself to pull her mouth from his so that she could run kisses over his face, his shoulders, his chest, his abs. And all the while, she stroked him, loving how he grew bigger and harder with every kiss, every caress.

  She couldn’t let her hand have all the fun, though, and moments later she pressed her lips to his erection. But that wasn’t enough either—she needed to taste him, needed to know just what her tongue sliding across his skin would do to him.

  Zara soon learned the answer: It would drive him absolutely wild.

  As his hips bucked up, she opened her mouth wide to take him in. It was beyond heady to know that she could do this to him, make him feel so much, make him desire her so fiercely that he lost control.

  Only, as she soon learned, he had enough control left to maneuver them so that she was beneath him on the bed again, while he levered over her. Her glasses had finally fallen off, lying beside the pillow.

  “Please tell me you pack condoms even when you’re with the last guy you’d ever think to sleep with.”

  Though it wasn’t at all handy that they were currently condom-free, she was still pleased to know he had no condoms with him either. Yet another mark in his favor, that he wasn’t the kind of guy who always expected to score.

  “No luck there.” He was doing such seriously potent stuff with his mouth on her earlobe that she only barely managed to get the words out. “But I am on birth control to regulate my period.”

  He lifted his head and looked at her as though she’d just presented him with the Furniture Design of the Year award in London. “I’m clean, I swear. And I would never do, never suggest, anything to hurt you.”

  “I’m clean too,” she said. “And I hope we never hurt each other, Rory.” She put her hand on his cheek. “Because as much as it pains me to admit it, I’ve fallen quite into like with you over the past couple of days.”

  They shared a smile.

  And then things got real.

  Especially when she leaned up to whisper in his ear, “Be as rough as you want. I can take it. In fact…I insist on it.”

  His low-uttered curse came a beat before he captured her mouth in an intense kiss. Then he moved his big hands to cup her hips, she wrapped her legs around his waist, and the next thing she knew, she was his as he moved inside her.

  Entirely, completely, wholly his.

  She could happily spend t
he rest of her life like this, captured in his arms, their bodies entwined into one, his mouth against hers, their hearts beating the same hard-driving pace…

  She was so overwhelmed by her feelings that she had to tell him, “I really, really, really, really like you.”

  “Zara.” He gripped her hips even tighter, and she could feel him throbbing huge and hard inside her. “You have no idea how much I like you.”

  “Show me.” No matter how she had meant the words to sound, they came out as a desperate plea.

  And when he covered her mouth with his again, what she felt went beyond mere passion, resonating far closer to the center of her chest than she could have anticipated. Much closer to her heart than she was sure she could possibly deal with.

  But then, thought spun out of her head as he took her even higher with his kisses, and caresses, and the wonderfully deep thrust of his body into hers.

  So high that her world grew impossibly bright, filled with more colors than she’d known existed and sensation so sharp and sweet that when she hit the peak, she didn’t simply break apart, didn’t just shatter into a million pieces—she detonated, crying out his name as the waves of pleasure went on and on and on.

  Moments later, Rory followed her over the edge, her name on his lips between kisses. And every part of him inside and out was so strong and beautiful and surprisingly likable that she began to crest again.

  “Please,” she outright begged him this time. “I still need you.”

  “I’m here, Zara.” His hands, his body over hers, his deep voice, were the only things still tethering her to the earth. “Let me feel you go over again, sweetheart.”

  So much about tonight had been crazy. But nothing was crazier than the impact of hearing Rory call her sweetheart.

  The endearment sent her into a third orgasm, one that was even bigger, even more breathless, even brighter and sweeter than the two that he’d already given her.

  And when pleasure finally let her out of its grip, a combination of pure exhaustion and unexpected emotion meant she couldn’t do anything more than snuggle in against Rory’s broad chest and fall asleep.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Rory was wide awake. Only a fool would sleep and miss relishing a single second of Zara naked and warm in his arms.

  It had been a year since he’d gone to bed with a woman, but that wasn’t why it felt so good to hold her close, to feel her breathe softly and evenly against him, to lightly stroke the strands of dark hair that lay across her shoulders.

  After what had happened with Chelsea last year, he wasn’t sure if—or when—he’d ever feel fully alive again. But every moment he’d spent with Zara since Friday morning had been a revelation.

  Speaking of revelations…

  He drew her more firmly against him, and when one of her legs slid over his, he was reminded all over again of how being with her had been nothing short of mind-blowing.

  Now that he knew how hot they burned together, he could look back and see clear signs of the sparks that had been between them from the start. Sparks he’d been mostly blind to, lost inside the dark twists and turns of his head and heart this past year.

  There was another reason he wasn’t sleeping, though. The deal they’d made before they’d gotten naked had been for one night only—and no getting weird afterward. He would never have agreed to only one night if he’d known how much he would end up regretting how quickly it had passed.

  Having been fairly wild in his twenties, Rory was no stranger to mutually beneficial one-night stands. He’d never before had trouble walking away in the morning, and he’d always stuck to protocol—namely, no asking for a second night. With other women, he’d never been tempted.

  With Zara, however, he wasn’t looking forward to walking away come sunup. Not at all. He wasn’t actually sure he would be able to do it, if he were being totally honest with himself.

  Was it fair to ask her for more than just one night, though, when all he had to offer was great sex, rather than any kind of real relationship? He didn’t trust himself with those anymore, didn’t trust himself not to end up hurting a woman. It wasn’t just Chelsea with whom things had gone wrong, it was every woman he’d ever been with.

  At the end of the day, he was the common denominator. And the equation always added up the same way: with Rory getting a 0 out of 100 at relationships.

  Besides, when he tried to imagine what Zara would say if he asked her for a repeat of tonight, it was all too easy to envision her spitting out a string of blazing-fast retorts. Even in sleep, her expression held a touch of mutiny.

  Who would have thought he’d find obstinacy so damned sexy…

  Two hours passed before she stirred. Still draped across him, she began to stretch, then stiffened against him as she realized she wasn’t alone in the bed.

  “Rory?”

  Even just the sound of her voice aroused him, especially when she was saying his name in a slightly husky, sleep-filled voice. “The one and only.”

  Her eyes went big as she abruptly scooted away from him. She felt around on the side table for her glasses, which he’d been careful to move off the mattress as soon as she fell asleep. Once she had them on, she said, “I liked everything we did tonight—loved it all, actually—up until the point where you had to go and screw everything up by calling me sweetheart.” She looked mutinous. “You shouldn’t have said it.”

  The entire time she’d been speaking, he’d been working like hell to keep from reaching for her and pulling her back against him. Were it not for the fact that she’d inadvertently hit the nail on the head by accusing him of screwing everything up, he might have given in to his urges and done just that.

  Instead, he kept his hands to himself. “Sweetheart just slipped out.”

  “Look, I get it.” Fully awake now, she got up, walked over to the minibar, and grabbed two sodas. Still gloriously naked, she popped the tops off the bottles, handed him one, then downed hers. Clearly, she’d worked up a wicked thirst over the past few hours, with help from him. “The sex was hot. And humans are stupidly hardwired to think it means more than that. But you and me—we know it doesn’t. Right?”

  He knew the correct answer. The answer they’d agreed on before they’d launched into their “one night only” plan. But Rory hadn’t just been wild in his youth, he’d been rebellious. Still was. So instead of giving her the answer she was waiting for, he decided to tell her the truth. “When I called you sweetheart, it felt like more.”

  She leveled a you’ve got to be kidding me look at him. “Like I said, it’s perfectly natural to get caught up in the heat of the moment. But that doesn’t mean either of us should read more into it.”

  Neither of them was used to backing down. What’s more, Rory didn’t care for the way she was outright dismissing him. “I’ve gotten caught up in the heat of the moment before. What happened tonight felt like a hell of a lot more than that. Are you honestly going to stand there and tell me you didn’t feel it too?”

  Though she scowled and her cheeks were flushing with irritation, he was glad she didn’t keep trying to deny that she had felt something beyond just physical pleasure with him. Instead, she said, “You promised we weren’t going to be weird afterward.”

  “I’m not being weird,” he countered. “I’m being honest. And the honest truth is that despite all rational reasons to the contrary, I can’t sit here and say I want things to end for you and me after tonight.” Case in point: Her skin had flushed in this same way when she’d been writhing in ecstasy beneath him. She hadn’t been irritated then, had she?

  “You want us to date?” Clearly aghast, she grabbed the sheet and pulled it around her like a cape. “Or are you talking about being friends with benefits?”

  He probably should keep things easy and simple by signing up for a friends-with-benefits plan. But when had his relationship with Zara ever been easy? Even now, he found he couldn’t lie to her and tell her that was all he wanted.

  “The
se past couple of days, I’ve realized that I like you and like being with you. It also turns out that sex with you is epic. And when you were asleep in my arms, it felt good. Good enough that I’m not convinced friends with benefits will be enough.” He ran his hands through his hair. This was where things got sticky, when he knew just how little he had to offer her. “But there are reasons I haven’t dated anyone for the past year. Reasons that make me a bad bet for anything long-term.”

  “Ditto to all of the above. The only difference right now is that while you met two of the reasons for my damage tonight, I know nothing about your reasons. Before I can make any decisions about your…proposition, I guess we can call it…it would help for me to know what happened to turn you off relationships.”

  Rory had never thought he’d be naked with Zara in a hotel in Camden, the surf crashing outside the window while he got ready to confess his sins to her. The strangest part of it all, however, was that sometime during the engagement party, he’d started to feel like one half of a really great team. One he wasn’t ready to quit anytime soon.

  Still, it wasn’t at all easy to tell her, “My last girlfriend got hurt really badly because of me.”

  Zara didn’t gasp. Her eyes didn’t widen in horror. Instead, she said, “That can’t be true. Tell me exactly what happened.”

  “Chelsea and I were together for two years. Everyone assumed we were the real deal, when the truth was that I had realized fairly early on that I couldn’t see spending the rest of my life with her. The magic my parents found with each other—we didn’t have that.”

  “If you stayed with her for two years,” Zara said as she sat on the bed, “you must have had a reason.”

  He appreciated her blunt comment. It would have been far worse if she’d pussyfooted around him. “Chelsea’s background was pretty rough,” he confirmed. “She wasn’t close to her family, and I knew how much it meant to her that my family took her in.” Realizing how that might come across, he said, “I’m not trying to say I was some sort of saint—”