The Dystopian Diaries

by K. W. Callahan

  When we’re in the mood for breakfast out (which isn’t often since I make a pretty darn good breakfast if I do say so myself), it’s always Crabby Jacks. Many times, we don’t even eat there because it’s so busy. But the food is so good, we don’t mind walking over (since it’s just down the street from our building) and picking up food. They have fantastic french toast and they give you ample portions.

  Okay, it’s getting late, and I’m tired. It’s funny, even though we don’t really do anything all day, the beach atmosphere just kind of saps your energy. I think the swimming tires me out more than I realize. But it’s not that mental tiredness I experience back home after a long day at the office, it’s a more physical tiredness…a GOOD kind of tiredness.

  I wish life was like this all the time. We’ve talked about moving here so many times, but I know that this place only SEEMS like Shangri-La because we DON’T live here. If we moved, we’d bring along with us all the problems that we leave at home when we visit. If we were full-time residents, there would be bills, school, work, commutes, doctor visits, and all the other responsibilities that make life, life.

  So we just have to suck it up and enjoy the few weeks we’re here each year to the fullest, and try not to think about what we’re going back to at the beginning of September. Don’t get me wrong, life in Chicago isn’t bad, but it sure as hell ain’t Florida!

  August 27th

  10:09 a.m.

  We’ve just gotten back from breakfast at Crabby Jacks, which will put us a bit behind on our morning beach schedule, but I guess we’ll survive. Now we just have to grease ourselves up with lotion like the little piggies we are, and waddle our way outside to bask in the sun. We might even find the motivation to get out in the water and try to work off some of that killer meal we just ingested. We all got french toast breakfasts which included four pieces of french toast, two eggs (I got my over easy while AJ and Liz got scrambled), and bacon. And they aren’t skimpy on the bacon at Crabby Jacks like they are at many other restaurants.

  We actually ate AT Crabby Jacks since it wasn’t jam packed like usual. While at first I thought taking our vacation at this time of year was a poor decision compared to when we usually visit, I’m now realizing that I kind of like it. It’s slower here since many of the renters have gone home to prepare for the start of school. Now – especially at our particular condo building – it’s mostly just us and the full-timers, which is kind of nice. We’re used to being here when it’s close to a full house around the 4th of July. Now it’s more intimate, kind of like we’re kings of the castle.

  Okay, I think I’ve digested enough to at least begin the process of readying myself for the beach. I see the girls down there already, playing in the surf. I’m sure they’re wondering where we are. AJ is here next to me scanning the beach with binoculars. He seems to have zeroed in on the girls. I wonder if he’s starting to notice them as more than just playmates. Wouldn’t it be funny if ten or so years from now, I’m writing in this same journal, documenting a beach wedding between him and Carrie or Carly? Which one would he go for? He seems like more of a Carrie type to me. Carrie is louder and more talkative, but more easy going, and not as domineering. Carly is quieter, but she seems like she might crack the whip on poor AJ a little bit harder than he’d care for. But who knows. Kids grow up in funny ways. God only knows what AJ will look for in a mate. At this point, I think he’d marry a video game console given the chance. By then, who knows, it might be an option.

  A robot spouse – now that’s an interesting concept. Would it work? Seems like it would be kind of boring having a spouse that agrees with every little thing you say. You could probably program it to disagree with you a certain percentage of the time, but that would be so phony, and it would probably take much of the interest out of the relationship. No, I don’t think robot spouses would work, at least for MY generation. For these future generations, well, god only knows. As long as they have a cell phone in one hand and a hot latte in the other, they might not care who is sleeping next to them, robot, human, or some combination thereof.

  2:17 p.m.

  We’re back from the beach and having a late lunch of chicken salad (that I made this morning). Liz loves my chicken salad. AJ is a fan too. We got some thick Italian bread that can support such a heavy sandwich. I love chicken salad sandwiches served with dill pickles (those cold crunchy kind) and barbeque chips. I’m drinking water instead of beer to re-hydrate and keep my palate cleansed in order to better enjoy the flavor of my meal.

  Today, while we were down at the beach, we found out from Catherine that there is a rocket launch from Cape Canaveral scheduled for 10:15 tomorrow morning. A launch is always fun and something to look forward to. We celebrate a morning launch in a special way. Liz makes chocolate chip cookies and I fill up a cooler with ice, orange juice, and a couple bottles of champagne so that we can serve mimosas to those coming out from the condo building to watch.

  2:36 p.m.

  Ugh, sorry. I had to take a short break from writing to talk to AJ. He’s already bugging me about next year’s summer trip down here. He says he wants to have a friend come with us. I made the argument that he already has friends here in the form of the girls and Nicky (a boy who visits family here around the July 4th holiday) when he’s here. But that’s apparently not good enough for AJ. He wants his best friend, Luke, from back home to come. I countered with the additional points that Luke might have other plans or that Luke’s parents might not want him leaving for such an extended period, both of which AJ assured me would not be the case.

  In all honesty, I just really don’t want to be responsible for another kid while we’re here. It could really crimp our style. It’s hard enough to get a little privacy with Elizabeth when AJ is around all the time. Then again, with a friend here, they might be off doing stuff at the pool or on the beach more often. Who knows, it might actually work out, but I don’t think so.

  That’s the bad thing about having a three-bedroom, two-bathroom condo here. It leaves that extra bedroom open for guests. Over the years, we’ve had several guests stay with us while we were here – usually other family members – and it’s never as fun as you think it’s going to be. The older we get, the harder I think it is to have other people encroaching on our personal spaces and routines. The past few years, we’ve ensured that it’s just us when we come here. Personally, I like it that way, and I hope that it stays that way.

  7:57 p.m.

  Again, the big topic of discussion at happy hour was the Su flu. I say, Su flu, schmu flu. I wish they’d just shut up about it. What a downer. We’re here trying to forget our troubles and they just keep harping on it. It’s really bumming be out. Oh well. I darnk a little too much…oops, see? Instead of talking about the flu, I just kept drinking. But what’s all this for if not for letting loose and overdoing it a little.

  We ordered out for dinner. Usually we splurge one night while we’re here on vacation and order from Mainly Seafood, a seafood place about a half mile down the road that does a massive takeout business. They have great fare that is super fresh and super delicious. Tonight AJ got deep-fried fish with hush puppies and fries while Liz and I shared a crab alfredo dish with side salads and an order of Mainly Seafood’s buttermilk biscuits with “secret” homemade seasoning. It was fantastic! We ate all of it!

  Now we’re just settling in for our evening routine – ice cream bars, maybe some popcorn, and television watching. We get all our activities in during the day, so we can rest at night. We don’t even go out on the balcony much during the evening. We have to have the blinds closed in the living room and balcony lights off so as not to disturb the sea turtles. No, I’m not kidding. You can be fined for such an offense. But that’s okay; we don’t need to be outside anyway. There are too many mosquitoes. While the bats help keep the buggers down, there are still plenty around. Okay, time for more rest and recovery from the day. I need to drink some water to keep from having a kickin’ hangover tomorrow morning.
r />   August 28th

  8:48 a.m.

  I’m starting the day with a bloody mary to fight off any remnants of yesterday’s overindulgence at happy hour. We have about half an hour until the rocket launch. We’re getting ready to head downstairs and out to the front lawn in about ten minutes.

  Liz made cookies last night. I already have the champagne chilling and orange juice ready in a cooler full of ice. I also have a sleeve of red party cups for serving the launch attendees. I’ve got the NASA channel on television, and at this point, everything for the launch looks like a go. It’s beautiful outside – bright blue sky and calm. Makes the heat stagnate, but they’re good launch conditions.

  Hmm, I hear Liz calling. Sounds like it’s about time to head downstairs. She’s saying that AJ is holding the elevator. We turn into such old people here…can’t take the stairs all the way down, not when there’s an elevator.

  10:32 a.m.

  That was fun! The rocket went off right on time. Before hand, a set of three big helicopters thundered down the beach, hauling big wigs from the Air Force base up to the space center to watch the launch. They went thundering back to the base about half an hour after the successful launch. It was pretty cool.

  In the hour before the launch, we sat on a little sort of dock area (that’s what we call it at least, even though it’s not on the water) that borders where our condo lawn meets the dunes that separate us from the actual beach. The area is actually a rinsing station for those coming off the beach. There is a hose there and a wood platform with benches and wide rail tops skirting its perimeter for sitting. During cooler times of the year, happy hour is often held there rather than inside the condo clubhouse.

  So back to the launch – it was impressive as always. While our distance from the actual launch site makes the rocket look kind of like a burning match stick flaming upward into the sky, the sight and rumbling sounds are still amazing to witness. It doesn’t take long for us to lose sight of the rocket as it soars into the atmosphere, usually less than a minute. Then you get that rumbling sound of the rocket’s liftoff as the sound waves finally make their way to those of us watching from miles away.

  I hefted our cooler up onto one of the seating area’s benches, and we set our tray of cookies on the wide upper rail. From there, we were able to hand out cookies on napkins, and I could pour mimosas for the adults and orange juice for the kids. We didn’t have a huge turnout, but Catherine and the girls were there, Ed and Ira came down, Angie and Dan showed up, and even Ruth made it down with the help of her walker. Since they’re all full-time residents, a launch isn’t as big of a deal. I think they therefore appreciated our snacks and beverages as a way to liven up what has become more of a routine event for them.

  I have to say though, after the last day or so, I need to temper the drinking a little…just a little. But hey, what’s Florida for?

  2:53 p.m.

  We did kind of a late lunch today since we loaded up on so many cookies this morning (plus Daddy had to let some of the alcohol clear from the bloody mary and mimosas this morning).

  We went to The Peninsula, the bar and restaurant on the Banana River on Merritt Island. It’s only about a ten minute drive from the condo, so it’s a convenient lunch spot. As usual, we sat outside under the large covered seating area. From there, we watched the river while we ate several appetizers. They have a chicken finger meal that is AWESOME. These meals are BIG, they come with tater tots. Two of them are enough to feed all three of us.

  While we were eating, we saw some cool egrets, a few jumping fish, and got to watch two dolphins swim by. We played a couple games of beanbag toss, and then AJ went to the dock to feed the fish with some lunch leftovers while Liz and I talked.

  My sweet wife was feeling kind of down, and that’s no good when we’re visiting Cocoa Beach. Florida is a pick-me-up kind of place for us, and we have to work together sometimes to keep it that way. It’s easy to allow your problems from back home to follow you down and then let them continue to drag you down once you’re here. And I don’t want that to happen, especially with this Su flu thing continuing to linger in the headlines.

  Anyway, while AJ was meandering, Liz told me that she’s nervous about going back to work. I told her she’d be fine and that she’d fall back into the groove quickly. But I could tell that her self confidence is down after all these years of being at home and out of the daily grind. I can’t say I blame her for that. It has to have been hard being at home for so long. I know that I feel a bit rusty getting back into the swing of things after just a few weeks vacation. I can only imagine if that vacation had lasted over a decade.

  But it’s not like being at home was a vacation. And I don’t think that I would or even COULD have switched places with her. Those first few years were full of sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and constant attention being paid to baby AJ. Then there were the toddler and formative years spent teaching AJ to walk, to talk, to go potty on his own. Those then transitioned to prepping him for school, giving him all the education a pre-school might, and hauling him to a litany of play dates, the library, the zoo, museums, and parks.

  Even once AJ was in school full time, there was the effort of preparing his lunches each night, helping him with his homework, and getting him to his various sports practices. My wonderful wife balanced that with all the stuff that goes into taking care of a house and home. On the weekends, I’m constantly amazed by how many dishes we make, how much work some of the meals she makes are, how much laundry we go through, and how dirty the house can get in just two days. It truly is a full-time job.

  Sometimes I wonder how families with two full-time workers outside the home make it. Sometimes I wonder how WE’LL make it with Liz going back to work. But AJ is at the point where he can start helping out with chores. That was another great thing about Liz being at home. She’s not afraid to take on things that some wives might choose to leave to their spouses. She paints rooms, moves furniture, cleans carpets, changes light bulbs, heck, she even knows how to caulk a tub or cracked window seal. She’s a real wiz with that sort of stuff, and if she doesn’t know how to fix something, she’ll just watch an online video or read an article on how to do it, and then she’ll give it a go. She doesn’t always get it right, but I have to give her kudos for trying.

  So while we were at lunch, I told her that if she can do all that, getting back into real estate should be like taking a vacation from REAL work. Plus, back in the regular workforce, she’ll have other adults to talk to, which was something she sorely missed when she was at home – that adult interaction.

  My thoughts on the subject seemed to perk her up immeasurably, and we ended lunch on a high note. I can see how easy it would be to lose one’s mojo being stuck at home all day for a decade straight, especially when you’re not getting paid for your efforts and your only words of encouragement come from your spouse.

  7:49 p.m.

  I’m sitting here in my recliner, television on (watching SpongeBob with AJ and Liz – a good family show), while I write. Dinner was grill chicken caesar salads for Liz and me and barbeque chicken with fries for AJ since he’s not big on salads. I don’t blame him. I wasn’t either as a kid.

  Happy hour was nice. There wasn’t as much talk about the Su flu this evening, which I enjoyed, although I did hear some mention about how the first few cases have been detected in Florida.

  Apparently, there is still no word on a vaccine. Hopefully they’ll have a batch whipped up by the time we get home. If nothing else, I’d at least like to get AJ vaccinated before he returns to school. Working in a hotel, I wouldn’t mind getting a flu shot myself, but being stuck back in the finance office at least keeps me away from the general public. And even though I had to work hard at getting Liz psyched back up about finally returning to work, it might be a good idea to delay her return just in case they don’t have the shot out by that time. What are a few more weeks when you’re talking about a 12 year absence? I’m sure it’s easy for me to
say, though. She’s the one who has to do more waiting.

  I’m just glad most of the part-time residents have left the condo building already. And it’s nice not having a bunch of renters packed in here carrying all their germs from other parts of the country with them. I think there are only about nine condos that are currently occupied. And out of those, only three have people in them who are under retirement age. There is our condo. There is Catherine and the girls on the fourth floor with us. Then there is a flight attendant (I think her name is Jackie, although I’ve only met her once), who is usually traveling. She’s down on the first floor. Those are the youngsters, relatively speaking.

  Then there are the other six units, all occupied by regulars. Ruth, who lives alone and is the oldest of the bunch, is on the 4th floor down the hall from us. John and June also live on the 4th floor. There is Ed and Ira on the third floor. Rich and Barb, the cruise ship regulars (they just hit their 100th cruise last year) are also on the third floor. Gerald and Maggie are on the 2nd floor in a corner unit like ours. Dan and Angie are on the 1st floor.

  And that’s about it. The Germans won’t be back until Thanksgiving. Al and Sandra have already returned to Chicago. Frank and Beth are doing work on their home in Melbourne. Lisa and Stef (mother and daughter) are in Virginia. Maureen and her 11-year-old, Nicky (AJ’s regular summer playmate), are in Pennsylvania. Danny and Denise spend most of their time at their regular home in Palm Beach. The Kentuckians, with their hoard of children, have already come and gone, as has Dr. Brian and his wife (who we don’t know that well).