Tears stung Elise’s eyes. Or maybe the baby was saying something else. Thank you for doing this. My life will be wonderful with the right parents.
Elise wasn’t sure which to believe, but she chose the second one. Yes, that was it. Her baby was thanking her. What sort of life would she give a newborn? When all she wanted was to get to New York City and start her own life?
At the exact right time, a gray-haired woman pulled up and rolled down her window. “Elise?”
“Yes.” She felt instantly comfortable. “Thank you.”
Elise couldn’t remember what they talked about on the ride to the lawyer’s office on the other side of Bloomington. All she could think about was the life inside her. The very real life. Moving and stretching and reminding her of the truth.
Her baby would be here all too soon.
Mr. Green was younger than Elise had expected, and his whole attitude very compassionate. He and his secretary sat at a long wooden table across from Elise. Between them were four large scrapbooks. Adoptive parent profiles, the attorney had told her.
“Let’s start with that one.” He leaned forward and pointed to one of the books. “Those are parents waiting for a baby.”
Elise opened the book. The first page held the photo of an older couple. A quick glance told her that they had raised their two children. Now they were hoping to have another baby or two. A quote beneath their photo said: We loved being parents once, so we want to be parents again. Before we’re too old.
“Hmmm.” Elise turned the page. Then she flipped through a few others. Every page held the profile of a couple waiting for a baby. “There’re . . . so many.” The idea of choosing one was suddenly overwhelming.
“Take your time.” Mr. Green stood. “I have a phone meeting in the other room.” He looked from Elise to his secretary. “Helen will stay with you. In case you have any questions.” He paused. “There is one couple I’d like to recommend.”
Elise was grateful. How was she supposed to pick the right parents? She could be here all week and not have time to read all the profiles. “Yes.” She remembered to breathe. “I’d like that.”
Mr. Green walked around the table and stood beside Elise. Then he turned to the last pages in the book. “Here.” He pointed to a profile. “I have a special feeling about this couple. How about you start with them?” He stepped back and headed for his office. “I’ll be back in half an hour.”
“Thank you.” Elise stared at the photo. The couple looked young and happy. They both had blond hair and warm blue eyes. The husband looked a little like Cole Blake, the way Cole might look ten years from now. The longer she studied them, the more they almost looked familiar. From somewhere inside her heart, Elise felt a connection take root. She looked to the top of the profile.
Aaron and Lucy Williams.
Nice, Elise thought. She’d always liked the name Lucy. She lifted her eyes to Helen. The woman was working on a file of papers. “Have you met them? This couple?” She tilted the book so the secretary could see the profile. “Aaron and Lucy?”
“Yes.” Helen smiled. “They were in the other day. I like them a lot.”
Elise nodded. She kept reading the couple’s profile. Lucy was a nurse in a maternity ward. Elise smiled. The woman would definitely be great with babies. And Aaron was an administrator at the same hospital. Right here in town.
A thought hit Elise. Maybe she had seen them before, during her time volunteering at Bloomington Hospital. Maybe that’s why they looked familiar.
She kept reading. The couple had been trying to have a baby for ten years. Praying and trusting God that one day a child would come. They were foster parents and had lost several babies who were almost theirs. And Lucy had given birth too early to a baby girl who didn’t survive.
Tears stung Elise’s eyes. Why, God? Why do I get pregnant from a guy like Randy? And here this poor couple has been trying forever to have a child? Nothing about that was fair. She looked at their picture again and ran her finger lightly over their faces. These two would take care of her baby. Elise had no doubt.
She studied their photo, their eyes. What sort of life would her baby have with them? In the side notes Lucy was quoted saying she would stop working if they had a baby. She believed in being a full-time mom—at least at first. Elise smiled. That meant the baby inside her would be loved and doted on. The best kinds of private schools and . . . Suddenly she remembered Cole’s declaration the other day. The main thing her baby needed was parents who loved Jesus. At the time he’d been thinking he would be the dad. Tears blurred her eyes. But she smiled despite the sadness. She would never forget the outlandish offer of Cole Blake.
And even though he wasn’t going to be her baby’s father, he was right about Jesus. Her mom had raised her to know faith in Christ, to memorize Bible verses and sing songs about God. Yes, she had walked away. But she was on her way back.
Which reminded her. Later today she would call her mama and come clean about the baby. They would talk about Elise’s decision to place the baby for adoption and after that her mama would cry and Elise would apologize. Then finally she would tell her the good news. She was going to Easter Sunday church with Cole’s family. She was coming home to Jesus, home to what was true and right and good.
She certainly wanted the same for her baby.
Again she looked over Aaron and Lucy’s profile. They wrote about their faith and trust in God. There was a quote from Aaron that read: Sometimes it’s hard to believe the Lord really hears us, that He cares if we have a baby. But even now I believe He does care. He sees us and He has a plan for us.
He has a plan. Yes. Elise wiped the tears from her cheeks. Peace flooded her heart. She didn’t need to look at the other profiles. She had found the parents for her baby. And as she made the decision, she felt the fluttering in her belly one more time. She gasped. She was actually feeling her baby move!
Helen set her paperwork aside and turned to her. “Is everything okay, dear?”
“Yes.” Elise stood just as Mr. Green entered the room again. She turned to him and felt a smile fill her face. “You were right about that couple.” She handed the book to the attorney. “They’re the ones. Aaron and Lucy Williams.”
An expression that was more joy than surprise came over the man. “This will mean a great deal to them.” He seemed to force a more serious look. “Now, one thing we haven’t discussed. The father.”
“We’re not together. I don’t want him involved.” She shook her head. “He doesn’t want to be a father.”
Mr. Green hesitated. “You’re sure?”
“Yes. He . . . he was abusive. He should never be near this baby.” Her resolve couldn’t have been stronger. “This child is my concern.”
“Very well.” Mr. Green nodded. “You’ll give me his contact information and I’ll call him. He’ll need to sign something terminating his rights before we can move forward.” The man crossed his arms. “Once he does terminate his rights, you do not have to identify him on the paperwork.”
Relief flooded Elise. The attorney was going to handle Randy. Perfect. She couldn’t answer fast enough. “Yes, please. You can call him. That’s how I want it. The father not identified.”
“That’s fine.” Mr. Green looked through a stack of papers. “Now about Aaron and Lucy. If you decide to place your baby with them, there’s something you should know. The choice is yours, even after the child is born.”
Elise blinked a few times. “After? What do you mean?” She’d always thought adoption was permanent. From the first day. “For how long?”
“Two weeks.” He took a slow breath. “Every state is different, but the goal is to give you time to change your mind. In case you regret your decision.”
An ache took up residence in her soul. “Wouldn’t that be hard for Aaron and Lucy?”
“It would.” Mr. Green looked straight at her. As if he wanted her to really understand this next part. “But it’s part of the adoption process. Some birt
h moms make an adoption plan and think they’re certain about it.” He paused. “But once they hold their baby, they can’t go through with it. The court allows two weeks. After that the adoption is final.”
The idea of waiting those two weeks, knowing she was allowed to change her mind and that her baby’s future would hang in the balance was more than Elise could imagine. She clenched her jaw and shook her head. “I won’t change my mind.” The baby fluttered again even as she pushed ahead. “I’m sure, Mr. Green.”
“The rule is there for your protection. You don’t have to think about it yet.” He grabbed a file from his secretary’s desk. “One day at a time. That’s how the adoption process goes.”
Elise liked that. One day at a time. If she looked at it that way, she could handle this. The lawyer helped her sign the appropriate papers stating that she would choose Aaron and Lucy Williams as the adoptive parents for her baby. Mr. Green said he’d contact Randy later that day, and then the man talked to her about having an open or closed adoption. He gave her information to read about which would be better.
But Elise already knew. She wanted a closed adoption. If she was handing her baby over to Aaron and Lucy, then they would be the parents. An open adoption might confuse her baby. And her. No, she wanted a clean cut. Period.
When she was done, Helen drove her home. Elise thanked her, and had the woman drop her off four doors down. She didn’t want any questions from her aunt and uncle. They would know the truth eventually. But first she had to tell her mama.
When dinner and dishes were over, Elise went to her room, closed the door and dialed her mother’s number. Sure they had talked at least once a week, but every time Elise had kept it short. Her mom asked about schoolwork and Aunt Carol and Uncle Ken. A few times she asked whether Elise was making friends.
Always Elise kept her answers vague. Yes, she had friends. No, she hadn’t met anyone special. No, she hadn’t heard from Randy. Yes, she still had his number blocked. No, she wasn’t attending church.
Today was going to be different.
Her mom picked up on the second ring. “Elise! Hi, honey.” Her mom sounded nervous, like she was trying too hard to keep Elise from running again. “This is a surprise.”
Elise closed her eyes. Her mother had no idea. “Mama . . . I have something to tell you.”
The pause on the other end told Elise whatever it was, her mom wasn’t ready. No mother could ever be ready for news like this. She took a breath. Give me the words. Help her not to be too hurt. And then, as if it had a will of its own, the story spilled out.
She told her mom about meeting Cole Blake and how he was a gentleman from a wonderful family. “I’m going to church with them Easter Sunday.” Elise paused. It was the only bit of good news so she wanted the fact to settle in a bit. “Mama, Cole’s family, they all love Jesus. You’d like them.”
“Yes.” Her mom sounded cautious. “I’m sure I would.”
The story kept coming. Elise explained that after she got settled in Bloomington she began to feel nauseous and how Cole took her to get a pregnancy test. Two of them. “They were both positive.”
She heard her mother catch her breath. “Oh, Elise.” Her words were more of a quiet cry. Not disappointment, but heartbreak. Because this couldn’t have been what she wanted for her baby girl.
“I know, Mama. I couldn’t believe it, either.” Elise felt sick. This was the last thing she ever wanted to tell her mother. She’d been nothing but completely devoted to Elise every day of her life. Tears came over Elise all at once. Sobs gathered in her throat and for a minute she couldn’t talk.
“Baby.” Her mom was clearly crying, too. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve gotten in my car and come to you that very minute.”
The crying felt good. It was the first time Elise had really wept about all this. She lay on her side on the still-made bed and buried her face in the pillow. So Carol and Ken wouldn’t hear her. Then she let the tears come, wave after wave. Like she’d stored up an ocean of heartbreak these last few months. “I’m s-s-so sorry, Mama. I . . . I should’ve told you.”
Elise missed her mother more than she had allowed herself to think about. How could she have just lied to her and kept the phone calls short and believed everything would be okay? “I hate that I lied to you. I hate it.”
For a long time they stayed that way, the two of them crying softly into the phone. Her mom spoke first. “So . . . how far are you? Five months?”
“Yes. Almost twenty-one weeks.” She sat up and took a tissue from her nightstand and blew her nose. “That’s assuming I got pregnant around Thanksgiving. When everything was crazy.”
Her mom was quiet again before she went to the obvious next question. “What are you going to tell Randy? About the baby?”
Elise steadied herself. “I met with an attorney. He says I don’t have to tell Randy anything.” Two quick breaths and she explained herself. “He’ll contact Randy and handle the termination of his rights. Randy never wanted to be a daddy. He used to tell me that.” She took a quick breath. “Once he signs off, I can leave the father unnamed.”
“Oh.” Her mama sounded relieved. “Okay. Good to hear.” She sniffed. “So what about the baby? What are you going to do?”
Elise wiped the tears from her face. She felt more composed as she explained her meeting with Mr. Green today. “I even picked out a couple.” The bed wasn’t comfortable. She moved to the chair by the window and looked out. Darkness covered all of Bloomington. As dark as the sadness in her heart. “I already decided. I want to place the baby with them.”
“Elise.” Her mother didn’t sound convinced. “You can keep the baby. I’ll help you.” Panic crept into her voice. “You can live with me and we’ll figure out your schooling later. When the baby is older. Randy is moving to Oregon to work with his uncle. His mother told me he’s leaving after graduation. So there’d be no reason you couldn’t come home.”
For the first time Elise realized that her decision wasn’t going to affect only her. The baby was her mama’s first grandchild. “I’m sorry, Mama. I’m just . . . I’m not ready for this.” She felt the weight of all that lay ahead. Especially tonight, when all she wanted to do was find her way back to her mother’s arms. Back to life before she met Randy.
“We can talk about it later.” Her mother seemed content with that. “You don’t have to decide now.”
She was right. But Elise had no intention of changing her mind. Not now or when the baby was born. And not for the two weeks that followed. But there was no point talking about it further, since her mom clearly did not want her to take the adoption route.
Elise changed the subject. “Let me tell you about Cole.” She went into great detail about the guy she had fallen so fully for, the guy she was sure would only ever be a friend. She told her mother how Cole was willing to miss going away to college so he could be with her. “He even said maybe we’d get married. Next Christmas, if God was leading us that way.”
“He sounds wonderful.” Her mom sounded more relaxed. Hopeful, almost. “Maybe that’s what you should do. After graduation Cole could come here with you. He could have the guest room and—if God leads you two—you could get married and get a place not far from home.” She took a slow breath. “But if not, it worked for me, Elise. Being a single mom. You can do it. I’ll help you.” Then as if she had to say it, “If it’s what you want.”
What she wanted? Elise closed her eyes. She wanted to go back and never talk to Randy at that party. Wanted to be free and young and pure again. With a faith she had never walked away from. She had already set her mind on placing her baby for adoption. Her mom’s plan was outrageous. They were too young to play house, she and Cole.
Then why did her mother seem bent on convincing her about it?
The conversation went on another hour. They talked about her due date in mid-August and finally her mama finished the call with a warning. “If you give this baby up, Elise, you’ll never know your
own child.”
Elise’s heart felt heavy. “I know that. But it’s still the right thing to do. For me.”
But by the time the call ended, Elise was less sure about her decision. Were Aaron and Lucy Williams the best parents for her baby? Or was she the best?
Gradually, as the next hour passed, her heart began to shift again. Her mother’s offer of help had made the idea of keeping her baby a little more possible. Would she regret her decision the rest of her life? Always wonder where her baby was or what had become of him or her?
Maybe she’d rushed too quickly into the adoption idea.
By the time she climbed into bed that night, she thought again about her mother’s idea. Mama would help with the baby and Cole would step in, even sleeping in the guest room until he and Elise figured out if they were supposed to get married. And if they didn’t get married and Cole left, then she’d be a single mom. But so what? Who better to help her than her own mother? And gradually, as she drifted off to sleep, the idea of keeping her baby didn’t sound so outrageous, after all.
It sounded wonderful.
16
For Aaron alone, Lucy had gotten on board and started praying once more for a child. That God would give them a baby and specifically that somehow, some way a child might come to them through the attorney. Alan Green.
The father of Brooke Baxter West’s patient.
She was headed out the door to work and this time, instead of zipping past the empty nursery down the hall from their bedroom, she stopped and stepped inside. The space felt sacred, here where her husband talked to God every morning. Where he read his Bible.
A room that had only made Lucy sad.
But if she was going to pray and believe, if she was truly intent on coming alongside Aaron and asking God for a baby, then she needed to figure out what to do with this room. She needed to hope and trust God. One last time.
With slow steps, like she was walking on holy ground, Lucy crossed the nursery to the crib. She clutched the white wooden rail and looked at the soft sheet. The pastel baby animals. On the first Saturday of every month, Aaron dusted everything in the room and washed the sheet, so the place was always clean.
Two Weeks: A Novel (The Baxter Family) Page 16
