A fresh smell hung in the air. Like they already had a baby and washing her bedding was a part of their normal routine. Lucy ran her hand along the edge of the small bed and closed her eyes. God, why am I doing this? Do You see me? Do You hear us?
Aaron thought hope permeated the room. But even now, all Lucy could feel was heartbreak. Help me believe, Lord. Help my unbelief. She bowed her head.
I see you, my daughter. I love you now and always.
The voice was clear and real. Chills ran down her arms and legs. The same voice she’d heard a few months ago. Was God really here, His presence all around her? And did He actually love her like the voice so clearly insisted? Whatever it was, this time Lucy knew one thing for sure.
She couldn’t ignore it.
Like she’d seen Aaron do, Lucy lowered herself to her knees and then she covered her face. “I’m here, Lord.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “If You’re the one talking to me, then I believe. I so want to believe. Help me trust You.”
Tears trickled down her cheeks as she stayed there, talking to God. Listening. Believing. Finally she stood and took another look at the baby crib. At the Winnie-the-Pooh curtains and the teddy bears on the dresser. She crossed the room and ran her hand over the still-soft fur.
A conversation came back to her, from dinner the other night with their friends Brooke and Peter West. Brooke had brought up Alan Green. “I really think he’ll get your profile to the top of the list.” Brooke had leaned forward, clearly convinced. “He was ready to do whatever he could for me. Because of his little girl.”
Like every other time, Lucy didn’t want to get her hopes up. But after that dinner, when they were in bed, Aaron had cuddled up to her. He kissed her and softly brushed her hair from her forehead and eyes. The way he used to, before everything about their intimacy became so measured and calculated. So disappointing.
“You’re beautiful.” He kissed her again.
For years, when they drew close to each other like this, Lucy would feel herself tense up. What was she doing wrong? How come she couldn’t get pregnant? Would this be the time, and if not how could they take the letdown?
But those days were behind them. Gradually they were trying to get back to when nights like this were about touching and loving and finding their way to being one again. Truly. Madly. Deeply.
The other night seemed like it might be one of those times, but after a few minutes of kissing, Aaron eased back on his pillow and searched her eyes. “I have something I want to ask you.”
She figured his request would have something to do with a baby. She smiled. A sad smile, yes. But one she hoped would tell him she cared. She wanted to hear him. “Tell me.” Her fingers ran the length of his arm. Gentleness. Tenderness. The way things used to be. She had loved him all her life. They couldn’t let the empty nursery change that.
“This attorney.” Aaron swallowed, like he was nervous to talk about this again. “Alan Green.”
“Yes.”
“I have a feeling this could be it, Lucy.” His eyes glistened in the darkness. He wanted a baby so much. “I mean, I really believe it. I feel like God is saying it’s time. This is it.”
How often had Lucy responded with an exaggerated look or an eye roll when Aaron insisted that God was on their side, that He was certainly going to give them a baby? Lucy didn’t want to think about it. Aaron was one of the most genuine, godly men she knew. He deserved better.
“Yes.” It was time she support him. Time she really listen. “Brooke sounded excited.”
“Exactly.” Hope lit up his expression. “So what I want to ask is . . . Lucy, please, if you could pray and believe. If the two of us could trust God together about this. Even if it feels crazy after all this time.” He took gentle hold of her face and kissed her again. “Please?”
His eyes looked the same as the day they’d gotten married, the way they had been lost to everyone in the church but her. Lucy slid closer and hugged him, body to body. “Yes, Aaron.” She brushed the side of her face against his. “I’ll believe with you. I’ll pray and trust God. Yes.”
So it was only right that she had wound up on her knees in the nursery this morning on her way to work. She had promised Aaron and she would keep her word. She had known there would be moments like this, times when she opened her heart to God about the most difficult subject in all her life. It was part of Aaron’s request, so she had expected this.
What she hadn’t expected was the call she got as she pulled into the hospital parking lot. It was from a number Lucy didn’t recognize. She still had ten minutes to check in, so she found a spot and took the call. “Hello?”
“Lucy Williams?”
“Yes.” What was this? “How can I help you?”
“This is Alan Green. I have good news.”
• • •
LUCY COULD BARELY complete her shift. This was the most hopeful news they’d heard in far too long. A teenage girl in the area had chosen their profile. The attorney wanted to go over the details in person.
At four o’clock Lucy met Aaron in the hospital lobby and the two of them drove in his SUV to Mr. Green’s office.
“Can you believe it?” Aaron couldn’t stop smiling. “I told you. It’s going to happen.”
Lucy couldn’t respond. Her fingers were trembling and her stomach was in knots. Every time they’d ever gotten good news it had been followed up with pain. And she wasn’t sure how much more pain she could take. The whole drive, she let Aaron do the talking. In response she did just one thing.
She reached out and took her husband’s hand.
When they arrived, the attorney ushered them into his office. As they sat down, the man sounded upbeat. “First the good news.” He smiled at them. “The young mother wants you to raise her baby. Yours was the only profile she wanted to work with.”
Next to her, Aaron squeezed her hand. He kept his eyes on Mr. Green. “What all can you tell us?”
It was hard to hear over the whoosh of her racing heart, but Lucy managed to track on the details. The birth mother’s name was Elise. She had gotten pregnant by a guy in her hometown in Louisiana. In January she came to Bloomington to live with her aunt and uncle. And to get away from the guy.
“The birth father has terminated his rights, so he’s out of the picture. Elise has chosen not to name him.” The man went on to say that Elise had chosen a closed adoption. “She doesn’t want her child confused about who the parents are. She wants it to be you two alone.” He checked his notes. “Oh, and she’s due August fourteenth.”
So far the details couldn’t be better. Lucy could feel Aaron getting excited, as thrilled as if they were hearing the news that they, themselves, were pregnant. Aaron spoke up. “You said first the good news.” His smile faded a little. “What’s the bad news?”
The attorney took a long breath. “In this business we look for red flags, signs that increase the birth mother’s odds of changing her mind.” He hesitated. “And I have to tell you we encourage that.”
Lucy felt like she’d been kicked in the gut. “You encourage birth moms to walk away from adoption? Even after they’ve come to you to arrange one?”
“Yes.” He looked unashamed about the fact. “If she’s going to reverse her decision, we’d rather get that out up front. As soon as possible.” His expression intensified. “Less heartache for everyone.”
“If you don’t mind me asking . . .” Aaron leaned forward, his forearms on the edge of Mr. Green’s desk. “What do you tell the birth mothers?”
“We tell them the truth. This is their choice, their decision. No one can make it for them.” He leaned back in his leather chair. “We tell them that placing a child for adoption is forever. There’s no going back.” He looked at both of them. “Not after the two weeks, anyway.”
“Two weeks?” Aaron blinked. “What about two weeks?”
“It’s a state law.” The man looked very serious. Like this was part of what he needed them to understand. “
If the birth mother still wants to place her child, once the baby is born, the mom has two weeks to change her mind.”
Lucy stared at her lap. Two weeks? She could decide to keep her baby for two whole weeks after the birth? What were they supposed to do while they waited? “Would the baby stay with us during that time?”
“Every case is different.” Mr. Green stood and walked to his bookshelf. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” He pulled out a volume he was obviously familiar with. It was marked at a certain page and the attorney turned right to it. “This is what you need to hear. The signs that a birth mother will change her mind.”
Lucy’s fingers were shaking again and the room felt suddenly cold. The meeting was beginning to seem like cruel and unusual punishment. Elise could call off the adoption up to two weeks after giving birth, and apparently there was more?
The lawyer was studying the list, going over what were considered red flags. “Her age is one issue. She’s a senior in high school.” He looked up. “Younger birth mothers are more likely to keep their babies even after making an adoption plan.”
Lucy tried to stop her knees from shaking.
“Also, I asked Elise about her mother, what she thought. It’s typically a risk when the birth mother’s mom isn’t on board with the adoption.”
“Is she?” Aaron didn’t sound nervous. “We need to know all the flags. I agree.”
“I wasn’t certain until a few days ago. Elise called and told me her mom wants her to keep the baby. But, Elise was still ‘pretty sure’ she wanted to place the baby for adoption.” He paused. “Again, specifically with the two of you. Apparently after she talked to her mother, Elise spent a day thinking maybe she’d keep her baby. Now she’s back to the adoption plan.” He folded his hands on his desk. “This is very normal for a pregnant teenage girl.”
Pretty sure? Lucy had heard enough. Maybe they should pass until something more definite came along. She forced herself not to mention that. “Okay. Thank you.” She folded her arms. “What . . . what are we supposed to do then? With the risks and her age and all?”
“You pray.” The attorney’s smile was marked with empathy. “And be excited. Elise is twenty-one weeks along, and—for now—she wants you to raise her baby.” He smiled, even if he looked a little weary. “That’s something to celebrate. Even as we take this one day at a time.”
They signed paperwork then, stating their understanding that Elise had chosen them, and agreeing to pay for her medical expenses and any legal and other fees associated with the adoption. All of which were nonrefundable. Regardless of what Elise decided in the end.
On their way out of the office, Aaron put his arm around Lucy. “It’s a faith walk. Definitely not easy.”
This was the first time she’d heard him sound anything but completely positive. “Yes.” She loved the way they fit together, the way she felt sheltered in his arms. They reached his car and he opened the door for her. Before she climbed in, she turned to him and he eased her into his embrace.
For a while they stayed that way, his arms around her waist. She pressed her head against his chest and held on. As if the winds of the situation might blow her onto the ground otherwise.
When they were halfway home, Aaron glanced at her. “August fourteenth.”
“Yes.” She thought about the nursery and the clean sheets. “Four months from now we could have a baby. Is that what you’re thinking?”
“It is.” Aaron reached for her hand. “We need to pray more than ever. Not just that the baby will be ours. But that Elise will reach a final decision soon. Whatever is right for her and the baby.”
Lucy stared at him, in awe of him. His heart was so good, so pure. That here on the way home from the attorney’s office, with the best of news and the worst of odds fighting for position in their hearts, he wouldn’t only think of their desires.
But those of a confused and frightened teenager.
And the baby who had already taken up residence in Lucy’s heart.
17
The dinner table was alive with the laughter of Vienna, and tonight Theo did what he often did around his only child.
He sat back and just listened.
She was talking to her mother about a dance recital coming up at the high school. And how she and her friend Jessie were choreographing an encore number for the team. “Picture it, Mom!” Vienna stood and pushed in her chair. She spread her arms out and looked one way, then the other. “All of us lined up along the stage doing the exact same moves and then at the end we break into a kick line! Isn’t that amazing?”
Theo looked at his wife. Alma was nodding, eyes wide, like she could definitely picture it. Theo had to work a little harder. Especially because Vienna was talking like there was a prize for most words per minute.
She was beautiful and animated and clearly thrilled with her plan, and Theo kept wondering how they had been so blessed by God to have her as their daughter. Vienna paused only long enough to take a breath. “You know, like the Rockettes. And everyone will understand it was something we planned just for the end of the show!” She exhaled and sat down. “It was my idea.”
“Wow.” Alma raised both arms in victory. “The dance team must love you!”
“They do.” Vienna giggled. She took a bite of her broccoli and waved her fork in the air. “And, Mom, you should hear the music! Jessie and I picked out the coolest song. It’s like a mix of three songs, actually.” She finished her bite and looked at him. “You, too, Daddy.”
“Me?” He laughed even as he nodded, feigning seriousness. “Oh, right. For sure. I’m the music connoisseur of the family. I’ll be the first on my feet that night.” He paused. “When is it again?”
“Daddy!” She was still smiling, her expression a mock show of outrage. Her voice was the only song the house needed. “Please. One week, exactly. Put it on your calendar in big letters: ‘Vienna is dancing tonight. First time since joining the dance team. And we will be there by six-thirty for a good seat.’ ” Her smile warmed his soul. “Okay?”
“All of that?” He made his eyes wide. Then he turned to Alma. “Honey, we need a bigger calendar.”
They all laughed and as the meal neared an end, Vienna switched topics to foster care again. She turned to Alma. “I keep thinking about it. Did Daddy ever tell you about our conversation?”
“It’s been a few months, but yes. He did.” Alma tilted her head. “It’s just, honey, when we took in children before, I wasn’t working full-time. Remember?”
“I know. You were a substitute teacher and everything was perfect.” Vienna’s expression made her look nine again. “Can we go back to that? At some point?”
“Baby girl, you’ll be in college in a blink.” Theo smiled at her. “Your mother’s a very important administrator.”
Vienna wasn’t letting up. She reached out and took hold of her mother’s hand. “But do you really enjoy it, Mama?” Her eyes warmed the room. Sincere. Hopeful. “Wouldn’t you rather be here taking care of babies? Or watching my dance rehearsals after school?”
An easy laugh came from Alma. “You make it sound tempting.” She was still holding Vienna’s hand. “Let’s see how the year finishes out. We can definitely talk more about it.”
“Yes!” Vienna was on her feet again. She did a running-type victory move, where she turned in a circle and ended in a cheerleader pose, one hand on her hip, one in the air. “I want more kids in this house. Before I’m all grown up.” She stopped and looked from Theo to Alma. “Actually, I already am all grown up.”
“Oh, are you now?” Theo chuckled. “At fifteen?”
“Yes.” Vienna put her hands together and raised her eyebrows. Her classic pleading pose. “Which brings me to my next question.” She barely hesitated. “Jessie and Sarah Jane want to pick me up and go to Foster’s. You know, to talk about the encore.” She looked at Alma. “Please! We won’t be late.”
Theo didn’t like the idea. It was Sunday and they were in for the e
vening. Safe under one roof. Ready for a relaxing time together, getting set for the week ahead. “Who are these girls again?”
“From dance, Daddy. They’re both seniors. It was super nice of them to include me.” She looked like she might break into tears if he said no. “Please! They’re my best friends on the team.”
“Who’s driving?” Alma stood and began clearing the table. Vienna joined in as Alma continued. “And why on a Sunday night? It’s almost eight o’clock.”
Something about his daughter’s request didn’t sit well with Theo. He helped the girls with clearing the table and tried to discern his thoughts. It was just a run to the ice cream shop. She’d be back in no time. But he didn’t like it.
In the kitchen Vienna was still working the moment, looking for a yes. “Jessie’s driving. She’s a great girl, remember? Her dad is Coach Taylor, on the football team.” She looked back at Theo. “You’ve talked to him before, Daddy. Remember?”
Of course Theo remembered. He worked the chains on the sidelines of every home game. His way of compensating for the fact that he’d never had a son to play the game. Vienna had been a cheerleader in the fall so it kept him involved and closer to the action. Something he loved.
“Coach Taylor’s a good man.” Theo couldn’t shake the feeling. But then if he had his way he’d never let her drive anywhere with another teenager. “Is Jessie a careful driver?”
“Of course!” Vienna seemed to sense the win at hand. “She’s a straight A student, Daddy. And she never texts while she’s driving.”
Alma was putting the dishes in the dishwasher. “When have you ridden with her?” She stopped and looked straight at Vienna. Not accusing their daughter, but curious.
“When she invited me over for dinner the night of rehearsal. Remember? You met her. And when we all went to get dance shoes together after school. A few weeks ago.” Vienna put herself between the two of them, an arm around each of their necks. “You can trust me, Parents. I wouldn’t do anything crazy. This is ice cream on a Sunday night.” She giggled. “Pretty normal, don’t you think?”
Two Weeks: A Novel (The Baxter Family) Page 17
