Unforgiven

by Lauren Kate

Roland scooted off to get some drinks while Cam and Arriane grabbed seats at one of the high tables by the window.

  "This is dreadful," Arriane said, looking around at the snobby group of students. "I can't believe you've suffered through two weeks here. All for Lilith. It's almost like you like her or something."

  "Or something." Then Cam spotted her. "There." He pointed across the room.

  Lilith was sitting in the third row with Jean Rah; his girlfriend, Kimi; and Luis. Karen Walker joined them after she finished tuning Chloe's guitar.

  Lilith was all dressed up. She had on glossy lipstick, and her short velvet dress was black as coal, setting off her fire-red hair in thrilling contrast.

  "I think I'm starting to understand your dedication," Arriane said, and whistled. "Girl is fine."

  Cam agreed, of course, Lilith looked beautiful, but she didn't look radiant the way she had at the bowling alley. That was the day Cam had felt closest to her, just before Lucifer spread the word about the suicide. Tonight, sadness softened Lilith's edges, and Cam knew it was because of him.

  "What are we talking about?" Roland said, plunking coffee cups before Cam and Arriane.

  "Hottie alert," Arriane said, and nodded in Lilith's direction.

  "She's still got it, even after all these years." Roland turned to Cam. "What's your strategy, man?"

  "I don't have one yet," Cam admitted, watching Luis crack a joke to Lilith that he yearned to hear. "I'm hoping one will come to me."

  "Basically," Arriane said, and swigged her drink, "he's screwed."

  Then the audience started cheering, and Cam watched as Chloe King and her band took the stage. They wore short black leather skirts, corseted tops, and big hoop earrings. The whole band was wearing silver lipstick, but Chloe was the only one who could pull it off.

  "Sup, y'all," Chloe said as she picked up her guitar and the rest of the girls grabbed their instruments. "We're the Perceived Slights, but you already know that."

  "Give it to us, Chloe!" one guy yelled out.

  "Show me how bad you want it," Chloe said.

  The audience went wild.

  Chloe grinned. "This is a special preview of the song we'll be playing at prom," she said into the mic, and winked at the audience. "Only the cool kids will be able to sing along tomorrow night."

  Cam watched as Chloe scanned the audience and her gaze fell on Lilith. He readied himself to lunge if Chloe fired off some nasty insult about Lilith being there, but then, to his amazement, Chloe nodded subtly at Lilith and smiled.

  "Two, three, four," she shouted as her band began to play a song called "Rich Bitch." It wasn't anything like Cam had expected--no pop, all melancholy, leaning heavily on the recorded backbeat, with Chloe's guitar screaming feedback the whole time.

  Chloe's band members had all obviously had years of expensive lessons. They played their instruments well enough, their voices never strained, and they looked good. But they had none of Lilith's glittering rawness. Even sitting down in a crowd, Lilith made these girls look boring.

  Chloe's face was red and she was out of breath when she released the final note. Lilith was the first to rise from her seat and cheer, whooping and clapping her hands.

  Cam had assumed Lilith came tonight to scope out the competition, but clearly something deeper was going on. He hated feeling so distant from her that he couldn't even guess what she was thinking. He sat through three more songs of the Chloe show before the first set was over and the band took five.

  "Can we flee yet?" Arriane whined.

  Roland raised an eyebrow. "Cam?"

  "Give me a minute," Cam said. As the audience went to grab more coffee or hit the bathroom, he made a beeline for Lilith. She was heading toward the coffee bar. He swooped in right behind her and touched her shoulder.

  "Hi, Lilith."

  She spun around immediately. The sight of Cam seemed to drain her of energy. "Why are you here?"

  "I wanted to see you." Cam stared at her lips. They should never go this long without being kissed. "What can I do to make things right?"

  "Did you make a bet with Luc that you could get me to fall in love with you?"

  Cam opened his mouth. He rubbed his jaw. How did she know that? This was not a conversation to have in public. "Can we step outside?" he asked.

  "Does that explain the band, and your interest in me in general?" She paused, swallowed. "The bet, Cam. Did you make it?"

  "No," he said. "Yes."

  Just then the girl taking coffee orders leaned over the counter and raised her voice. "Next? Hey, redhead. You want something or not?"

  Lilith stepped out of line. "I just lost my appetite."

  "Lilith, wait," Cam said.

  "What are you trying to do, Cam? Drive me to suicide like that other girl?"

  He reached for her. Everyone was staring at them now. "It's not what you think."

  "I'm done being played." She shoved him away and headed for the door.

  A bunch of kids from school oohed in Lilith's wake. Cam closed his eyes and tried to tune them out. He sensed Arriane and Roland at his side.

  "That did not look good," Arriane said.

  "You're cutting it close, Cam," Roland said. "I know you like to live dangerously, but you've got one more day. I don't see this ending well."

  The cafe door swung open, and in swanned Luc. "Hello, old friends." He shot them all an incredibly fake smile. "Talking about my favorite subject, Cam's inevitable doom?"

  Cam couldn't stop himself: Without thinking, he pitched his coffee cup in the devil's face. The plastic top popped off, and the sizzling brown liquid splashed across Luc's skin. Cam heard the students' gasps, but he was more concerned about Lucifer's reaction. That had certainly been a very dumb thing to do.

  The devil took out a handkerchief and wiped his face, then leaned in close to Cam, his face strained with rage.

  "I gave you an out," Luc said. "You should have taken it."

  He spoke to Cam in his true voice, quietly enough for the kids around them not to hear it, though they certainly felt the rumbling of the earth beneath their feet.

  "And you two." The devil turned to Arriane and Roland. "You were allowed in for one reason and one reason alone. Do your job. Talk some sense into your senseless friend. Or face me."

  "We're working on it, sir," Roland said. "You know how stubborn Cam can be."

  "This is between me and Lucifer," Cam said. "And it's not over yet."

  "It was over before it began," Lucifer said, motioning to the door Lilith had fled through. "You've managed to make her hate you even more now than she did before you got here." He let out a low laugh. "Yes, it is definitely over."

  The devil stepped closer, until he and Cam were inches apart. Cam could smell the rot of Lucifer's breath, the stench emanating from his skin. "By the end of the day tomorrow," Lucifer said, "you'll be mine. Forever."

  Approximately 1000 BCE

  Cam sat on the deck of a wooden boat anchored in a small marina.

  He was shirtless, with his ankles crossed, gazing out at a low moon. For the past two hours, he'd been trying to teach himself to play the lyre he'd stolen from a man selling saffron at the market. Surely if he could conquer Lilith's instrument, he could conquer the Lilith-shaped hole inside him.

  So far, it wasn't going well.

  "Cam," a sultry voice purred, "put that thing down and come over here."

  He turned to the young, olive-skinned girl behind him. She was propped on an elbow, her long legs folded behind her. Her golden hair undulated in the breeze.

  "I'll be there in a moment," Cam said.

  Since he'd left Lilith, Cam had surrounded himself with a series of girls, hoping in vain that they would distract his broken heart.

  When he'd fled Canaan on his wedding day, he had sought out Lucifer in the clouds. Since the Fall, Cam had had little to say to the devil. Every century or so, Lucifer proposed a deal--Cam's allegiance for a dominion within the underworld--but Cam was never interested.
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  That time, though, when Cam turned up, Lucifer smiled knowingly and said, "I've been waiting for you."

  Now, a second golden-haired girl interrupted Cam's memory as she walked the plank from the marina to the boat. "I thought I'd find you here," she called.

  "What are you doing here, Xenia?" the first girl demanded. She looked at Cam. "Did you invite her?"

  "Korinna?" Xenia exclaimed. "Why are you on Cam's ship?"

  Cam set down his lyre, glad of the distraction. "I see no introductions are required."

  Hands on hips, the two girls glared at him and each other.

  He took a breath and forced a smile. "You're two beautiful girls on a beautiful moonlit night. Unless you prefer fighting, why don't we have a little fun?"

  He dove into the sea. When he surfaced, he floated on his back, looking toward the boat. Maybe they'd join him. Maybe they wouldn't.

  He didn't care either way.

  "Still want to go through with this?" the boy asked from the helm of a cedar rowboat anchored at the edge of the marina. Lilith had discovered his name was Luc, but otherwise had learned very little about her companion.

  Lilith listened to the splashing and the laughter from the water near Cam's boat. She swallowed, a lump in her throat.

  She had come all this way to find him. It hadn't occurred to her that he might already have moved on to the next girl, and the next. She ached inside, but she would not leave Lesbos without trying to know his heart once more.

  Soon, Lilith spotted Cam crossing the marina, walking along the shore. His wet hair shone in the starlight.

  "This is your moment," Luc said. "Take it."

  Lilith dove into the sea and swam toward Cam, her white gown billowing around her as she kicked.

  Behind her, Luc looked on from his boat with a smile.

  Near midnight, Cam was climbing a steep slope, lyre in hand, seeking a new kind of distraction. A voice warbled in the distance, accompanied by rich notes from a lyre. He saw a scrubby desert bush marking the entrance to a cave and angled himself toward it.

  Inside the cave, in a narrow space between two tall rocks, an old man was playing an intricate song. His beard hung to his navel, and his hair stood out in filthy strands. His eyes were shut, and a flagon of wine sat at his feet. He seemed unaware of Cam's presence.

  "You're very good," Cam said when the man's song ended. "Will you teach me to play?"

  The man slowly opened his eyes. "No."

  Cam tilted his head. Ever since he had aligned himself with Lucifer, he had discovered a new layer of persuasion in his voice. He was learning how to use it to his advantage.

  "I will take you flying, far above the clouds, if you will teach me. You can bring your wine and drink among the stars."

  The man's eyes widened; he was clearly affected. "Begin," he said, and strummed a chord.

  Cam quickly brought his lyre into playing position.

  The man kicked the instrument to the ground. "Piece of driftwood shit," he said. "Sing."

  Unprepared to improvise, Cam found that Lilith's song, the first one he'd ever heard her sing, rose to his lips. She'd stolen his heart, he reasoned. Now he would steal her song.

  "Where love spurs me I must turn

  my rhymes, my rhymes..."

  The man squinted at Cam, impressed. The melody he played on his lyre complemented Lilith's lyrics perfectly. He handed the flagon to Cam.

  "I will teach you, and you will stay with me." He wrapped his arm around Cam. "Now," the man said, leading Cam toward the entrance of his cave, "can you really fly?"

  Cam stepped back into the night. He was just about to release his wings when a shadow moved behind the desert bush.

  Lilith? Was he dreaming?

  She was still wearing her wedding gown. It was filthy by now, green with moss and dripping with seawater. It clung tightly to her body. Her hair was wild and wet, trailing halfway down her back, and her skin looked pale and bright in the moonlight. She looked into his eyes, then at his bare chest, then at his hands, as if she could see how much they ached to hold her.

  But Cam and Lilith did not embrace. They faced each other like strangers.

  "Hello, Cam," she said.

  Cam shrank back. "Why are you here?"

  Lilith scowled at the question. She took a breath and tried to form the words she had come so far to say. When she spoke, she looked at the sky so she wouldn't have to see the way his eyes clouded over at the sight of her.

  "The night you left, I dreamt I taught a flock of nightingales a love song, so they could find you and sing you home to me. Now I am the nightingale who has traveled all this way. I still love you, Cam. Come back to me."

  "No."

  She gazed into his eyes. "Did you ever love me, or were you only passing through?"

  "You rejected me."

  "What?"

  "You refused to marry me!"

  "I refused to marry at the river," Lilith insisted. "I never refused to marry you!"

  Since he'd last seen Lilith, Cam had joined Lucifer's ranks. If he had been afraid to show Lilith his true self before, it was impossible to do it now. No. There was no past. There was no Lilith.

  There was only his future alone.

  "You destroyed our love," Cam told her. "Now I'm left to live in its ruins."

  There was a sense of urgency in Lilith's eyes that Cam didn't understand. She was nervous, trembling. "Cam, please--"

  The backs of Cam's shoulders were burning, itching to release his wings. For weeks he'd hidden them from Lilith. To protect her, he had told himself.

  He could not bring himself to look at her, to see how much she was hurting. He was a demon. He was dangerous to Lilith. Any kindness he showed her would draw her deeper into darkness.

  "This is the last you'll see of me," he said. "You will never know who I truly am."

  "I know who you are," she cried. "You are the one I love."

  "You're wrong."

  "Do you still love me?"

  "Goodbye, Lilith."

  "Don't!" she begged, sobs choking her voice. "I still love you. If you go--"

  "I'm already gone," Cam said, and turned and ran down the mountain, out of her sight. He threw his head back and released his blinding, golden wings. He watched the shimmering light they cast around him. He would fly until his heart no longer ached. He would fly forever if he had to.

  He flew fast and never looked back, so he never saw Lucifer step from the shadows and take Lilith's hand.

  Lilith stared at the pale, freckled hand in hers. Her breath came shallowly. "He's gone," she gasped. "I left everything. For nothing."

  "Come along," the devil said. "I kept my end of the bargain. It is time for you to keep yours."

  Twenty-Three Hours

  Lilith's headphones were blaring.

  She lay on her stomach on her bedspread, scribbling lyrics in her journal for a new song called "Famous for a Broken Heart." It was one in the morning. She was tired, but she knew she'd never sleep. She kept replaying the conversation she'd had with Cam at the cafe.

  He'd made a bet that he could make her fall in love with him. Like she had no free will, like she was just a coin to be tossed.

  Had Cam almost won that bet? She had felt something deep and strong for him. Was it love? Maybe, but she could never love a guy who treated her like a game to be won.

  Suddenly, Lilith heard a sound that wasn't part of the Four Horsemen song in her headphones. It was coming from outside. Someone was knocking at her window. She turned her music off and raised the blinds.

  Cam's leather jacket was zipped up, and he was wearing that knit hat she liked. Beneath its brim, his green eyes pleaded as he motioned for her to open the window.

  She slid the pane up and stuck her head out. "My mom will kill you if she finds out you trampled her weeds."

  "I'll take my chances," he said. "I've got to talk to you."

  "Otherwise you'll lose the bet, right?" she said. "Remind me how many hours I have
to fall madly in love with you?"

  She looked past her lawn to the street, where a vintage black Honda motorcycle was parked, two helmets dangling from its handlebars. The bike looked expensive. Lilith studied Cam, remembering him strolling among the tents on Dobbs Street. How could he afford a motorcycle? He was a walking contradiction, but Lilith wasn't going to let it drive her crazy anymore.

  "It's late," she said. "I'm tired. And you're the last person I want to see right now."

  "I know," Cam said. "Lilith, I need you--"

  "You don't need me." She didn't like when he said things like that. If she wasn't careful, she'd believe him.

  Cam glanced down at his boots and sighed. When he looked up a moment later, his green eyes had taken on an intensity that made Lilith hold her breath. "I will always need you, Lilith. For many reasons. Right now, I need you to come with me."

  "Why would I go anywhere with you?"

  "So I can tell you the truth."

  She'd been tricked before. "Tell me right here," Lilith said, standing her ground.

  "So I can show you the truth," Cam corrected himself. "Please," he said softly, "give me one more chance to show you that my feelings for you are real--then, if you don't believe me, you'll never have to see me again. Fair?"

  She studied his face and realized how familiar his features had become over the past two weeks. The first time she'd seen him at Rattlesnake Creek, he had been so different from anyone she'd ever met; he'd seemed more like a figment of her imagination than a real guy. But now she knew him. She knew he licked his lips when he was thinking, and the way his eyes twinkled when he was listening really closely. She knew the way his hands felt in hers and how smooth his skin was just above the collar of his T-shirt.

  "One more chance," she said.

  A dark gloom hung over Rattlesnake Creek.

  Lilith's heart raced as Cam guided her deep into the forest, toward her favorite spot. She'd never been here so late, and it was eerily exciting.

  Branches cracked as she stepped along the familiar path and turned into the clearing where her carob tree stood. For a moment, she didn't recognize it. Her tree had been decorated with strands of soft, twinkling red and yellow lights.

  Beneath it, a boy with dreadlocks was arranging a bouquet of irises on the antique desk Cam had given her. Lilith thought she recognized him.

  When a thin girl with a shaved head and orange false eyelashes ran to Lilith and stuck out her hand, Lilith knew where she'd seen them both before. The cafe, with Cam, earlier that night.