Finding Teagan

by R J Gray

  "I don't leave my house without a bra on, Ro," Teagan teased her. Ro was infamous about not wearing a bra and almost never had one on in the house.

  "Take it off now; feel the freedom!" Teagan laughed at her sister's boisterous dramatics, shaking her head.

  "Fine, party pooper." Ro paused, sticking her tongue out at Teagan.

  "Tacos are done. Why don't we eat in the living room?"

  "I don't know; are you allowed to eat tacos on the white couch?" Teagan teased.

  "We really need to have a talk about alternative lifestyles," Ro said. "Do you know the difference between a submissive and a slave or a master and slave relationship?"

  "I know more than you give me credit for." Teagan sat on the couch next to her sister. Balancing her tacos carefully, she set her beer on the table beside hers. As she took a large bite, she moaned in pleasure.

  "Oh? Do tell," Ro demanded.

  "Do tell what?"

  "I swear you have the attention span of a gnat. Do tell what you know about alternative lifestyles."

  "Oh, that." Teagan wondered how much she should confess to Ro. She'd been reading stories and had even talked online to several people in the local community for years. She had never attended events or exposed her real identity, wouldn't risk putting her job on the line. If Ro was to look at her kindle…

  "Yes, that. Spill."

  "God you are nosy." Teagan laughed. "I guess I've been reading books about it for years and even dabbled in some online play and chats, but that is as far as it went. It has never been something I've actively been interested in seeking in real life. I've never been spanked, not even playfully during sex. I've stuck to purely normal, vanilla relationships. You know, being a police detective and all, it isn't really accepted in society. People still judge it very harshly, and I'm proud of being a take charge, dominant woman."

  "Doesn't it get exhausting, though?"

  "Sure. All the time. I have a face I put on. Tough, reliable, in charge. It is exhausting. I've wondered what it would be like to come home and not have to make every single decision and maybe even be held to a higher standard. Sometimes, when it is just yourself you're responsible to, you let things slip. Like eating regularly or getting enough sleep or, for instance, my gaslight has been on for two days. I keep meaning to get to the gas station, but it hasn't been a priority."

  "Teagan!"

  "I know, I'm going to the gas station when I leave here tonight. When I saw it on my way here, I thought about your relationship and how Luca is. I wondered how Luca would respond to my gas light being on for two days."

  "He'd make sure you didn't want to sit in that car!" Ro said confidently.

  "Over something that small?" Teagan asked, slightly concerned.

  "Don't look so worried. If you had filled up when the light had first come on, no big deal, but two days? Your butt would definitely be on the line. He's all about responsibility." She took another bite of her taco before speaking around the mouthful. "If you ask me, the blasted man could use a little lightening up." Both women laughed.

  "You would think I would be big on responsibility, too, considering what I do for a living."

  "Yeah, but you're always the last person you think about. I've figured that out just in the little bit of time we have known each other. Let me clear our plates, and then we can talk some more. I want to hear about your decision to become a police detective." Ro stood and took Teagan's plate from her, leaving Teagan to grab the beers. As Ro made quick work of getting the plates in the dishwasher, Teagan grabbed two more beers out of the fridge. Returning to the living room, the girls sat again.

  "I meant to tell you, I saw your mom today," Teagan said.

  "I know; she called me after you left."

  "Did she tell you what we talked about?" Teagan asked nervously.

  "Of course not. Mom would never violate your trust like that. Besides, 'The Mother' isn't a big fan of gossip."

  "She's a wonderful woman. You got lucky." There was no bitterness in Teagan's tone. She had learned a long time ago that it was okay to be happy for someone else while mourning for yourself.

  "I was lucky to end up where I did. My parents are pretty wonderful, even if my dad can be a bit much at times." Thinking back to Thanksgiving, both women laughed.

  "Don't you ever wonder, Ro? I mean, really wonder?"

  "Wonder what, Teagan?"

  "Wonder why she didn't want us. Was it because there were three of us? Was she a young teenager? Was she a college student who couldn't handle the responsibility? Was she super religious and didn't believe in abortion? Did she take one look at us and decide she didn't love us? Why? She obviously didn't plan to put us up for adoption, right? She had to have known about us; how do you not know you are carrying triplets? So, what happened? What made a woman give birth to three daughters and abandon them at a fire station?" Teagan noticed the color drain from Ro's face. "What is it? What's wrong?"

  "I…" She picked up a throw pillow and hugged it to her chest. "My mother told me someone picked them out to be my parents. She got the call that they were chosen from a list of adoptive families. She swears she didn't know I had sisters. My mom would have never allowed us to be separated if she had known," she said confidently. "So, the adoption agency didn't release that information? The media wouldn't have said something about three babies?"

  "It doesn't make sense, Ro. Why would our mother hand pick your parents and Evie's parents but leave me? Abandon me?" Teagan's face fell. "It was because I was sick…" The conclusion hit her like a punch in the gut. "She didn't want me because I was sick. She cared so little about me that she just left me, rejected me, and made sure you two were in healthy, happy homes, leaving me to the wolves."

  "No, no one is that heartless," Ro said.

  "Well, someday, I'm going to find her, and I am going to ask her, myself," Teagan declared.

  "Is that why you decided to become a police detective? To find our biological parents?"

  "No, not at all. It was about the children. I had spent my youth getting to know other foster kids. Many had entered the system because of the atrocities committed against them. Looking back, I felt abandoned and hopeless but also angry, so incredibly angry. We were always treated as less than, worthless, through no fault of our own. Time after time, my foster siblings were returned home to their biological families just to be abused again. I felt helpless."

  "So, why didn't you become a social worker or a counselor?" Ro asked. "I would have thought that would have been the route you would have taken."

  "I considered it. But then, I had a foster brother. Oh, Ro, he was the cutest thing you'd ever seen! He was a little boy, five-years-old. He had red hair and the cutest freckles across the bridge of his nose. He had been sexually molested by his stepfather and put into foster care. It hadn't broken his spirit, though; he had gone through play therapy and had really blossomed." Teagan's eyes glossed over as she remembered.

  "I was sixteen when he was put into the foster home that I was in. I was the oldest there, and I was in charge of all the children. I fed them, bathed them and rocked them all to sleep. I was more their mother than our foster mother was. I became especially close to Samuel. I know we shouldn't have had favorites, but he was mine." Teagan had a far-off look in her eyes as she remembered Samuel and his innocent smile.

  Ro sat back on her heels, listening quietly. Storm clouds passed in Teagan's eyes. She shoved herself to standing and began pacing like a lioness in a cage, from one end of the room to the other.

  "My foster mother and I went to court that day, fully convinced his father would be convicted. That's when it happened," Teagan paused.

  "What?" Fully engrossed in the story, Ro whispered her question.

  "The evidence was thrown out. There had been an error in the gathering of it, and as such, it was inadmissible. A small error; one of the detectives hadn't dated the chain of custody log. Samuel's stepfather came from money and had an expensive lawyer. The lawyer came acr
oss the lack of date and put forth the suggestion that the evidence could have then been tampered with. Samuel's stepfather was released, and they retained custody." It was as if Teagan was back there, in that courtroom, remembering the way her stomach had lurched when the declaration had been made. Ro's outraged gasp drew Teagan back into the present.

  "I remember like it happened yesterday," Teagan said. "We had to give Samuel back to that monster. He cried and clung to me, begging me not to make him go back. Three days later, we got the news. Samuel had died from internal injuries at the children's hospital." Teagan had never said those words out loud. Her body shook as the memories poured over her. "I have never felt so helpless, so incredibly angry. I wanted to hurt someone. I. wanted to track down the police detective who had done this and accuse him of murder. In my eyes, it was he who had committed the crime." Teagan ran her hands through her hair before scrubbing them over her face. She turned to look at her sister. Ro had tears streaming down hers.

  "That poor boy," Ro said. "And you. Poor, sweet, Teagan. How devastating that must have been."

  "I went to my school counselor, the only positive role model I had at the time, and cried my eyes out. She asked me if I had considered working with children like Samuel, in his memory. I didn't want to work with the children. I wanted to prevent children from being abused, and I wanted to nail their abusers."

  "That's how you became a detective?"

  "I made a goal for myself. I wanted to work as a detective in the Special Victims Unit as a Crimes Against Children Investigator. You don't just join the department and then get a spot. It was a lot of work. I went to college, obtained my bachelor's degree, and while working patrol, my master's degree. I volunteered a lot. I worked with Court Appointed Special Advocates, giving one child a voice at a time. I didn't grow up believing most people were good, Ro. I grew up believing most people were bad." Teagan sighed. She had wished she could have been adopted into a loving family, like Ro and Evie, but then again, if she had, would she be doing the work she was doing now?

  "I wish I could take it all away, Tea," Ro said, placing her hand gently on Teagan's arm. "If I had a time machine and I could only use it one time, I would use it to go back and fix it for you. I'd snatch you up and place you in the arms of a loving couple."

  "I'm not sure I would want it all taken away," Teagan countered. This mind reading trick the triplets had was still hard to get used to. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I would do anything to have prevented Samuel's pain and death. But I wouldn't want to have all of my childhood taken away. It's because of the pain I endured that I am now able to channel that into helping abused women and children."

  "Women?" Ro asked. "I thought you were a Crimes Against Children Investigator."

  "Sure, but SVU does a lot more than child cases, and sometimes I am called to investigate things like domestic violence. I've learned so much about the topic. I used to judge women who stayed with their abusers. Like, why don't you just leave the asshole? It can't be that hard!"

  "Right? I was thinking the same thing," Ro agreed.

  "But I've learned that it isn't that easy. Most abusers hide the evidence of their crimes. They control their victims, taking away their freedoms. The abuser often controls finances, friendships, and even the amount of time the victim can see their family. Victims are often embarrassed by the abuse. They are gas lighted into believing it's their fault—if they had just not acted this way or said that. They are so brainwashed that sometimes it takes an intervention from those who love them to help them see the truth. Their self-worth is normally at a zero from the abuser's manipulation."

  Ro's eyes dropped to the pillow she still held. "Do victims often swear people to secrecy about the abuse?"

  Ro's question had Teagan's spidery sense crawling. After years as an investigator, she could easily read body cues and tone. "Sometimes," Teagan said. "In the rare cases, someone sees the evidence. Most of the time, they make up excuses, like they fell down the stairs. If someone suspects and asks, they might swear them to secrecy." Teagan watched Ro's face closely. Ro's eyebrows were scrunched together, her lips tightened. She tapped her hand absently on her thigh.

  "I see," Ro finally said. "What happens when a victim finally gets the courage to leave the abuser?"

  "The most dangerous time for a domestic violence victim is when she decides to leave," Teagan said. "When a domestic violence perpetrator loses control, they become unpredictable. A lot of times, they will start to stalk and attack the survivor. Most domestic violence deaths occur when a woman gets the courage to leave."

  "Fuck," Ro muttered, just loud enough for Teagan to hear.

  "Rowena Gypsy," Teagan began and took both of Ro's hands in hers. "Look at me, right now!" Once Ro met Teagan's eyes, she continued. "Is Octavius abusing you?"

  "What?" Ro's mouth dropped open in shock. "Octavius? Abuse me? Never! I mean, sure he spanks me from time to time when I've been naughty, but abuse me? Not on his life. I'd kill him." Relief flowed through Teagan and she felt her shoulders relax. She hadn't pegged him as an abuser, so she was glad her instincts were still working.

  "There's no hope, then? For a woman who wants to leave an abuser?" Ro prodded.

  "There is always hope. There just needs to be a solid safety plan in place. Many women leave their abusers and start happy, healthy lives. They really need a good support system to help them. Who is being abused, Ro?"

  "Well, like you said, there are lots of women out there who get abused every day. What makes you think I'm thinking of anyone specific?" Ro avoided Teagan's interrogative gaze.

  "You are a terrible liar."

  "I'm not lying."

  "She swore me to secrecy, Tea." Ro's tone told Teagan exactly to whom she was referring.

  "Three guesses?"

  "Huh?"

  "You won't be breaking your promise if I guess who told you."

  "True!" Ro's face lit up. "Okay, three guesses."

  "Is it someone who looks just like us?"

  "Yes!"

  "I thought, I mean, I suspected that there was something going on with Evie… but I had no real evidence to move on or to ask her about. Trident hates him, which was my first clue. Some of the things he does, he is a straight sleazy asshole."

  "Can we help her? Do all those things you mentioned?"

  "Hell, yes, we can help her. Once more, we will help her. I want to kill him. Tell me everything. Now. You can tell her I threatened you if you didn't spill."

  "You didn't threaten me." Ro laughed nervously.

  "Not yet, but I will if you don't tell me everything." Teagan's glare held the promise of following through with the threat.

  "You have to know that we aren't keeping things from you. Hell, I wanted to send the guys after him then and there, but she swore me to secrecy," Ro started. "It was Thanksgiving, and somehow, my mom and her weird intuition set the whole thing up. Evie was changing, and I walked in and saw the bruises. She tried to cover them but wasn't fast enough, and frankly, there were too many."

  "Why doesn't this surprise me? You really have to learn to knock," Teagan muttered.

  "For once, my complete disregard for personal space paid off. I'm not sure if she would have told me otherwise." She shook her head. "At first, she made up excuses for the bruises, but I wasn't buying it. I kept on her until she told me about the abuse and how Branson only hits her in places she can cover with clothing. She's terrified of him, Tea. The last time she called the cops, they chatted with Branson like they were old friends and he was beating her again before the officers were out of the driveway. She said if he knew she'd told anyone, he would kill her."

  "Not if I kill him first," Teagan exclaimed. She was angry. Incredibly angry.

  Chapter 5

  "I'll drop you off at home," Luca told Octavius after their mission.

  "Thanks, brother." Octavius loaded their gear into the trunk while Luca whistled for Trident. They drove for a while, listening to music in a comfortable silence.r />
  "Interesting, running into Lieutenant Downy tonight, wasn't it? I wouldn't peg him as one of Sleazy's fans," Luca said.

  "I don't think he was there to give a personal endorsement," Octavius said, shrugging. "I got the feeling he was there on official business."

  "Damn shame the department is endorsing that scum. I can't imagine Teagan being happy to know that. I'm surprised she hasn't brought it up."

  "I don't know about that. I mean, like it or not, Sleazy is going to be her brother-in-law."

  "Fuck, I didn't think about it that way." Luca sounded alarmed.

  "I'm not any happier about it than you are. I mean, he is going to be my brother-in-law, too. Unless Ro can talk some sense into their sister. Evie seems to think it's her duty to marry him, stubborn woman. Ro is trying to convince her that she deserves to be loved and to love someone back."

  "How's that going?"

  "It's not. Evie is just as stubborn as Ro and Teagan. Plus, there's an added sense of duty that seems to be motivating her. There's something else, but I can't put my finger on it. Ro is acting shady, like she's keeping something from me. Jason said that Evie appears scared of our great Governor-elect."

  "I've noticed that, too. Do you think the bastard is hitting her?"

  "I don't know. He's too smart to leave visible marks or do it in front of anyone. Without witnesses or Evie asking for help, our hands are tied. I've instructed Jason to increase surveillance at the house, under the guise of security, of course." Octavius informed Luca of their most recent plan.

  "Evie's security," Luca said, nodding. "I like it."

  "It isn't like Ro to keep things from me. Whatever it is, it has to be serious if she is risking my wrath over it."

  "Speaking of your wrath, I've noticed that she hasn't tried any matchmaking lately."

  "I would hope not. I don't like repeating myself. It was the second time I've had to spank her for the same issue, which means she got more than just my hand this time."

  "Stubborn women, I tell you," Luca said. Both men laughed.