by Faith Anna
I felt embarrassed for the woman whose neck and cheeks had turned beet red. She paused and hissed, “I’m glad I never loved you.” She gave me an insolent look and then walked back to the people she was with. I developed a new respect for Ethan. He knew how to deal with a manipulative woman.
Ethan looked at me with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry about that….”
I looked in the woman’s direction. She was the life of her small group. It was like nothing unpleasant just took place. “Does she live in Victoria now?” Ethan had told me he moved from Toronto to Victoria after his divorce. He was not in contact with her. Friends had told him she had remarried twice.
“I don’t know and don’t care one way or another. She’s her husband’s responsibility not mine.” He put his arm loosely around my waist. “Come. We’re good to go.” He handed me my drink and then took his. He kept his arm lightly round my waist.
As we left, my mind dwelt on what had just happened. I was worried that perhaps Ethan’s ex was in Victoria on a mission to get Ethan back. What was it I had once read about the power people wielded over their ex’s? I had not paid much attention to that article because it was completely different than my situation. I was totally immune and indifferent to Dick.
I wished I had saved the article or at the least, read it with interest; instead of just skimming through it.
‘Are you okay?” Ethan broke into my thought. His gentle voice soothed me some.
I smiled at him. “Yeah, thanks.”
He looked at me for a long time; then took my hand as we walked towards the cinema place on Yates Street. “It’s just that you suddenly became quiet – too quiet even for you.”
I gave his palm a reassuring rub and smile. “It’s nothing.”
He nodded and held me more firmly. Strong emotion rushed through me and I wanted Ethan to embrace me. Of course, he did not know he could have successfully done so at that point. The feeling subsided and I was all excited as we crossed the road to find out what movies were playing at the Cineplex.
We narrowed our choices down to three: ‘Cloud Atlas’, ‘Your Love Never Fails, and ‘The Guilt Trip’. Ethan wanted me to choose but I declined. So he wrote all three out and asked me to pick. ‘Love Never Fails’ won. I forgot all about the encounter with Ethan’s ex-wife as we got tickets, popcorn and made our way to the theatre.
Chapter Twenty-four
My relationship with Ethan was progressing fabulously. I could not have asked for a better match. I told Ethan when I removed my profile from Hisoulmate. We were in a committed relationship.
It was at that point, I had a strange but short dream.
I got a mail from Michael asking to meet me in San Fran where he was attending a conference. I booked my flight using my credit card and went to meet him. It was like a dream within a dream until I was boarding the plane back to Victoria. I turned to give him one last look. He was looking at me with tortured expression. I stopped. I wanted to run back and hug him. Instead I turned and walked through the jet bridge to board my flight. We had not spoken about ‘us’ or ‘them’. But I was happy.
Then I sat up on my bed. It was just a dream yet I vividly remembered it. The thought of it left a bitter taste in my mouth. Although I had walked away, I did not feel excited by the dream. I was not sure what to make of it. When I was in college, I would dream I flunked exams but I never failed. In fact, I never missed the dean’s list. Still I had no idea what the dream meant.
At that moment, Michael silently loomed bigger than goliath. I was like David. But where was my stone? You already have it. Immediately, I thought of Ethan. Peace and joy seemed to wash away my irritation. I smiled and went back to sleep.
Then I had another dream.
“I have missed you so much.” Ethan moved his chair closer and reached for my hand as he said that. His eyes looked so blue they reminded me of a Victoria sky.
I allowed him to hold my hands in his and felt the warmth envelop my whole being. “I’ve missed you too.” We were having a romantic dinner at a restaurant.
“I would like for us to spend time together getting to know each other.”
My heart had increased its thumping. Ethan’s smile was sending butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
I returned his smile shyly but mischievously. “I agree. I need to know if the rest of you are as appealing as….”
“Then we’re in accord and shouldn’t waste time.” He moved his face towards mine and kissed me hungrily. Instinctively, my hands moved up and cradled his head as I returned his kiss urgently. Just as suddenly he stopped, breathing unsteadily.
Trying to control the feeling he aroused in me, I said, “That wasn’t what I meant.”
His eyes rested on my lips. “I know but I couldn’t resist that.” He placed two $20 bills on the table and got up extending his hand to me. In a husky voice he said, “Come, sweetheart, let’s get out of here.”
I woke up slowly with a smile and stretched. I began to reflect on the two different dreams. Something had changed. I tried but could not grasp it. I had held a mental image of Michael that I clung to. I tried to remember what he looked like but he seemed like distant memory. He was like a stranger who had walked by and I had not paid attention to him. He was a phantom.
My face then creased in a frown, “But why had I dreamed about him and Ethan?” I asked myself aloud. While I would like to believe that it symbolized letting go of Michael and letting in Ethan, I was not sure that was all there was to the dreams. Without intending to be negative but what if they meant the opposite? I had no answers and the voice was silent. It was the one time I wished it spoke. I could do with some help understanding what the dreams actually meant.
**********
As months went by, our relationship continued to grow. Ethan and I exchanged texts and talked on the phone, chatted most nights and spent time together at weekends. Sometimes we had lunch or dinner together during the week. It was through Ethan I got to know many nice restaurants. I was excited to explore each unique restaurant with their delectable cuisine: after all, Victoria was one of the world’s gourmet capitals.
One Saturday afternoon, Ethan took me to a barbeque at his colleague, Ben’s house. They were not really close but it was a work thing. There were many people and Ethan introduced me to some of them. Being an introvert, I was uncomfortable meeting new people. Ethan was with me throughout and we left as soon as it was okay to do so.
On our first anniversary, Ethan took me out for dinner at the Italian restaurant on Johnson Street. He also gave me one of my favorite perfumes: Dolce & Gabbana ‘The One’. He knew I liked vanilla fragrance but he was also saying something more by giving me a perfume called “The One”. I bought him a wrist watch he had once admired at Sears and gave it to him on our anniversary. We also exchanged romantic cards. That day, Ethan gave me the key to his house so I could come over any time I wanted. That night, we made out like we had never done but I was not ready to go all the way. I was a mature woman with strong beliefs and so should be able to set boundaries. Ethan respected those boundaries even when it was obviously difficult for him.
During the BC Day weekend, we went on a road trip covering most of the Vancouver Island. Ethan had picked me up at 8:00am and we got to Mill Bay before 9:00am. There was not much to see there. We got to Duncan twenty some minutes later and stopped for breakfast. We got back on the road soon afterwards but were not in a hurry.
We drove past Chemainus and then got to Ladysmith.
“Have been to see the Ladysmith Christmas lights yet?”
“No. I’ve never even heard of them.”
“It’s something worth seeing. The lightings are spectacular and attract lots of visitors.”
“Sounds interesting.”
“I’ll bring you here at Christmas.”
“Awesome!”
I liked the small town feel of Ladysmith. From the highway, we could see the ocean.
; Ethan took a right turn off the Highway. Then I saw a sign that read, ‘Transfer Beach’. We drove past a big antiquated object that looked like a military train. When we got to the parking lot, I could see the beach. It was beautiful. There were lots of play areas for kids and families. I even climbed the huge toy ship, navigating it from the captain’s seat and cabin. Ethan took pictures and videos of me.
We climbed the steps down to the sandy beach and stood, silently looking out at the broad expanse of water. A few houses dotted the horizon on the other side of the ocean. I wondered what town or city those houses were located but I did not ask Ethan. The silence was companionable. Ethan had his arm around me and it was such a beautiful moment.
“What’s that?” I asked Ethan as we resumed walking on the beach.
I was pointing at a historic object on the sandy beach. It looked like a machine gun or huge telescope. As we got closer it looked like a small canon made out of heavy metal.
“It’s a harpoon.”
The text inscribed on the flat surface beside it confirmed what Ethan had said. It was used by whaling ships to kill whales.
Since we wanted to get as far as central Vancouver Island, we did not linger at the beach. We got to Nanaimo before noon.
“Do you want to stop for burger?”
“Sounds great!” I enthused.
“One of the best burger places on Vancouver Island is here in downtown Nanaimo. Ever heard of the famed mountain burger?”
“No but I’m now hungry.”
“Me too.” We laughed liked we were two teenagers fooling around.
So, we got hamburgers. Ethan was right: the burgers were yummy.
We drove around Nanaimo a bit. It was another beautiful harbour city like Victoria but less crowded.
“That’s the Woodgrove Centre.”
I looked in the direction Ethan was indicating. “It looks very big.”
“It sure is…. It’s the biggest mall on the whole of Vancouver Island.”
Ethan asked me to choose between going to Port Alberni or Comox. I did.
So we left Nanaimo and headed for Port Alberni. We drove past Parksville and got to Cameron Lake about fifteen minutes later. We stopped there and walked on the beach. It was so serene. Ethan sat on a log and I joined him. We were quiet, just looking out at the lake. Across from the lake, there was a railway track on top of the hill. The dense forest made the track almost invisible.
“Is that a railway track right at the edge of the hills?” I asked Ethan, pointing at the north side of the lake. Incredulity was written all over my face.
He nodded. “Although it looks that way from here, I suppose it’s not that precarious. I wonder if they still do train excursions around that side of the lake.”
“Looks scary. I wouldn’t want to take a train that goes by that track.”
“Might be an exciting experience,” Ethan said teasing me.
I just shook my head, returning his smile.
Soon, we were back on the Port Alberni Highway. The view of the mountains and forests was stunning.
“That’s Cathedral Grove,” Ethan told me as we drove by the woods in an area where the trees had the thickest trunks I had ever seen. There were many people and parked cars. I concluded it was a tourist attraction. “It takes over ten people to circle some of those trees.”
“Wow! It’s a wonder of the world in my book!”
Ethan laughed. “You are the wonder in my book.”
That caught me off-guard and so I was typically speechless. I just looked at him, smiling with happiness as I gave his shoulder a loving squeeze.
It did not take very long before we arrived in Port Alberni. It was a small town. The mountainous landscape made the town look absolutely beautiful. We stopped at the Mark’s clothing store. Ethan bought me a toque and a wool neck scarf. Both had orange background. He knew I liked the colour, orange. We drove around the small town and then stopped to get gas at a gas station.
“I’ll take you to Tofino another time,” Ethan promised as we pulled out of the gas station.
We left Port Alberni before four pm and were back in Victoria around seven pm.
It was a wonderful trip. It was at that point that it actually began to register in my cautious mind that my life with Ethan was going to be an amazing adventure.
Chapter Twenty-five
I knew I had fallen in love with Ethan and that scared me. I knew how that worked. I began to worry that Ethan seemed too good to be true and I felt that he had skeletons in his cupboard that would hurt me in the long run. What exactly are you looking to find hidden away? I did not know what I was scared of. Was I looking for a way to end the relationship? Was I inadvertently trying to sabotage the good thing going for me?
“I sometimes feel like Ethan is hiding something,” I said in response to Sandra’s question about my glum look. We were having our weekly outing at Azuma Sushi, a Japanese restaurant in downtown Victoria.
Sandra frowned. “Like what?”
‘I don’t know… but he’s so good to me….”
“And why shouldn’t he be? You’re an amazing woman and Ethan knows that.”
“Still…”
“Still nothing. Enjoy what you have and stop looking for imaginary problems.” I was pensive for a while. Sandra continued, “Ethan is a hot and really good guy – I can tell. Just be thankful for what you have.”
Ethan and I had gone on double date with Sandra and some guy she met recently who worked in the same building where the law firm was.
Sandra was right. Ethan had not given me any reason not to trust him. We went about in public holding hands. When we ran into people he knew, he always introduced me as his girl-friend.
Nonetheless, I had a nagging fear which I did not share with Sandra. Why had Ethan not accepted the friend request I sent him on Facebook a couple months ago?
**********
It was Friday and my day off as a result of accumulated OT’s I had done during the recently concluded fund-raiser at BBBS of Victoria. It was my long weekend and I was very excited. Ethan and I had not made any plans but we always kept our weekends free for each other. Usually, we spent Saturday outdoors taking walks around Dallas Road, Beacon Hill Park, Willow’s Beach, and so many other places in and around Victoria.
Fall was gradually getting cooler, announcing the approach of winter. I thought about the possibility of a white Christmas in Victoria. I was not getting my hopes up after the wet and sunny yuletide seasons since I moved to Victoria. You would think that I had had my fill of snow while I was in Minot but I still craved a white Christmas.
Redirecting my thoughts to my iPad screen, I logged in to my Facebook page. I had a friend request. I clicked the red notification and saw the name, Emily Johnstone. Neither the name nor the photo rang a bell. It was a policy of mine never to accept friend requests from people I did not know. I wanted to decline the request or block the person but then I hesitated.
Facebook creeping was not really my thing but I decided to find out who the woman was. Clicking on her profile, I saw that the person lived in Victoria. Her relationship status was ‘In a relationship’, and worked at ‘Rarejob’. I did not know what that meant. I had seen all sorts of creative job descriptions and school names on Facebook, like ‘School of Hard Knocks’. The woman’s page was set as public; I could see photos, timeline, and friends. Within a minute or two, I was looking at her friends’ list. I scrolled through the one hundred some list, not recognizing anybody. Then I skimmed her photos. I was about to close her profile when I saw a photo of two people sitting by a waterfall. It looked like V
ictoria City Hall. The man looked like Ethan. I used my thumb and forefinger to enlarge the photo. There. It was Ethan with the woman called Emily.
My heart began to pound in my ears. It was loud.
Calm down.
I did not pay attention to the voice. I went back to the friend’s list and checked again. There it was: Ethan’s name. I must have been focusing on profile pictures and so missed it the first time. His profile picture was a technical design, similar to a prism. I clicked on his name. All I could see was his cover picture. It looked like the classic painting by British Canadian Arthur Lismer, ‘Rain in the North Country’.
I sat back in my loveseat and pondered the discovery. Who was Emily Johnstone? I did not want to jump to any conclusions. I went back to look at the photo. It was posted a week ago. My mouth became dry and my heart beat faster than it was beating minutes ago, if that was possible. Don’t jump to conclusions. Keep calm.
Was she the reason he had not accepted my FB friend’s request? Was she his girlfriend too? Was he sleeping with her because I was not ready to sleep with him yet?
My next instinct was to call Ethan and confront him.
I resisted the urge. He was at work and I was in a panic. It would not go well. I needed to show some maturity and was not going to act desperate.
So, I decided to go to the gym.
I liked going to the fitness gym at Vic West. It was also just a stone’s throw from my workplace at BBBS of Victoria.
I could not focus on anything since my discovery on Facebook. I had lost my appetite and at the gym, I went through my routine mechanically. Without showering or changing, I left for home.
Once back at my apartment, I hit the shower. I allowed the tepid water to keep running down my body as though washing away my worries. God please help me. I didn’t want to go through another bad relationship.
It was 5:30pm when I decided to call Ethan.
“Hey Erin, I was just thinking of calling you as soon as I got home.” He sounded sincere. I could hear the sound of his keys as he unlocked his door.
“Hi Ethan. Would it be possible for us to talk tonight?” We had dined out yesterday and had not made any plans to see today.
“Are you okay?” His voice was full of concern.
