by Brook Wilder
Now I would have to prove to her that she needed me just as much as I needed her.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Sydney
I laid the plate on the counter and wrapped it in the newspaper before placing it in the box, forcing myself to move on to the next one. I hated packing, wanting to throw everything out the back door and walk away, start over.
But my checking account didn’t allow for that, and until I found another position somewhere else, I was going to have be careful about spending my money.
The chief had raised hell when I turned in my resignation, telling me not to give up on this job and to forget that Zack Hale had ever existed.
I wished I could. My life would be so much better.
And now, I was heading back to my parents’ house, to stay with them until I could get back on my feet. They had accepted me without even asking a question, but I knew they would be asking once I was back under their roof. What was I going to say? That Zack Hale had broken my heart once again, and I hadn’t learned my lesson about trusting him?
It sounded weak and pathetic coming out of my mouth like that. I had thought that this time around things would be different, that when he had said he loved me it was going to be forever this time. I loved him with every shuddered breath I breathed, but it didn’t change the fact that he didn’t want to be with me.
That he didn’t truly love me in the first place.
Swallowing the tears that threatened, I placed the next plate on the newspaper and wrapped it carefully, depositing it in the box. It didn’t matter anymore. I was going to move away from Cibolo permanently and attempt to forget that these past few months had ever happened. I should have never come back, thinking that I could change this town and those that lived in it.
It was clear to me that my past was always going to come back to haunt me.
A knock on the door sounded throughout the silent house, and I sighed. If it was Luke again, I was just going to shoot him and get over with it. He had come by every day since I had turned in my resignation, attempting to talk me into staying with the force and staying in Cibolo. He didn’t understand.
No one did.
Stalking to the door, I threw it open.
“I already told you I’m not staying.”
But instead of Luke, Zack was standing there, leaning against the doorjamb.
“Hey, Syd.”
My heart stopped in my chest as I eyed him, seeing the effects of his hospital stay on his handsome face. He looked exhausted, his eyes wary as he stared at me.
But there was some color in his face, and he was upright, which was far better than the last time I had seen him.
“What do you want?” I asked flatly, itching to slam the door in his face.
“I don’t deserve any of your time,” he said with a sigh. “But can I have five minutes?”
I crossed my arms over my chest.
“Why should I give you anything?”
He had broken my heart, pretty much told me he wanted nothing to do with us, and now he wanted to talk?
“Hell, I don’t know,” he answered honestly, a raw emotion in his eyes. “All I can do is ask.”
I knew I should make him leave. I was too unstable, my emotions like a rollercoaster in my heart and soul. He was tearing me in two.
But after today, after this moment, I wouldn’t see him again. Whatever he wanted to say would be the last words we would have between us, and I wasn’t the Sydney with stars in her eyes any longer.
“Fine,” I said, stepping aside. “Five minutes.”
He stepped inside, and I shut the door, my house suddenly feeling smaller with him in it.
“I would offer you a seat,” I said, sweeping my hand across the room. “But, as you can see, I have nowhere to sit.”
“It’s fine,” Zack said, clearing his throat. “What I have to say won’t take long.”
His gruff tone was like a dagger to my heart, and idly I wondered if he was going to blast me again like he had in the hospital room. After everything I had done for him during that week, begging God to not take him from me, he had pretty much told me that he no longer wanted this relationship. Oh, it had hurt something bad. To be told that all the hard work you had put into something had been for naught, it burned me deep down inside. I had thought… well, I had been wrong.
So, why was I allowing him to be in my house right now?
He shoved a hand through his hair, looking into my eyes.
“I don’t know where to begin, so I am just going to say it and the hell with everything else. I am sorry. I’m an asshole for saying those things to you that day in the hospital. I don’t want this to end. I don’t want you to leave Cibolo. I want you to stay, deal with my hard ass, and maybe one day marry me. I love you, Sydney, and I will never, ever love anyone the way that I love you.”
His words were raw and harsh, but I could feel his frustration come out with every word. A glimmer of hope flared in my chest, but I wasn’t about to let him get off that easy.
“You hurt me.”
“God, I know,” he said, anguish in his eyes. “I’m not good for you. I nearly cost you your job and… hell, Syd, I’m far from the man that you should be with.”
“That’s for me to decide,” I said angrily. “Not you. I gave you everything, Zack. I’m tired of having it thrown back in my face.”
“I know,” he repeated, pleading with eyes. “Give me one more chance. I swear to you, I will never walk away again. If you want me to leave the club, I will.”
“Truly?” I asked with some hesitation.
We had gone down this road before and he had told me no.
He reached out, his fingers touching my cheek.
“Yes,” he said firmly. “I will give it all up to be with you.”
A sob tore at my throat and I launched myself at him, careful to avoid his injuries.
“Why did you push me away?”
Zack’s arms came around me and locked me against him.
“Because I’m stupid and thought I was protecting you, giving you what you deserved.”
I wanted nothing more than to be with him. His hand brushed over my hair as I breathed in his scent, some of the tension seeping out of my bones.
“I will kill you if you ever do that to me again.”
He chuckled.
“I want you to.”
Pulling back, I looked at Zack.
“I quit my job.”
He smiled tenderly.
“I know. You are going to have to beg for forgiveness.”
“I should send you in there to do it for me.”
“I will,” Zack answered, brushing his lips over mine. “I will do anything you ask.”
I savored his kiss, my heart full for the first time in a long, long while.
“Didn’t you mention something about having sex in a bed next time?”
His eyes grew warm.
“You will have to be careful.”
I smiled and tugged on his arm, leading him to the bedroom.
“I won’t cause you too much pain.”
“God, I love you,” he said as I pulled my t-shirt over my head.
His throat bobbed as I stripped off my clothes, until I was standing naked before him. There was no shame, no regret.
There was only love.
Walking toward him, I helped Zack get his clothes off, careful not to disturb the small bandage that was above his tattoo.
“I thought I lost you,” I whispered, emotion clogging my throat.
He laid a hand over mine, squeezing it lightly.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
I believed him this time.
Finally, he was naked before me, my fingers grazing over his powerful shoulders.
“You’re beautiful.”
Zack leaned down and kissed me softly.
“Not as beautiful as you. I want to worship your body, Syd.”
Shyly, I ran a hand down the length of his body, unti
l I had him in my grasp. Zack let out a strangled sound as I explored his hardness, rubbing my thumb over his bulging head.
“It’s been a while.”
He chuckled, his hand roaming down my body possessively, like an old friend.
“Not that long.”
With a little push he steered me to the bed, forcing me to lie down on the mattress. I watched with bated breath as he dropped to one knee before me, spreading my legs with his hands.
“It’s time to make you scream, Syd,” he whispered, pressing a kiss on the inside of my knee.
I grabbed a fistful of the comforter as his lips travelled up my thigh until they brushed my molten core, whimpering as his tongue delved into the slit.
“Zack.”
His hand roamed up my body and grabbed my breast, his tongue lightly circling my clit. I could feel the pressure building and grasped his hair in my fingers to pull him away. He held firm, his hand clamped down on my hip and pulling me toward his mouth, covering the area with his lips. I closed my eyes and let go, screaming his name as the orgasm hit me, his tongue stoking the waves that rippled through my body.
Oh, dear God!
When he covered my body with his, I was barely pushing through the fog of the orgasm.
“Should you be doing this?” I whispered as he towered over me, his cock pressing into my entrance.
“I don’t fucking care,” he said, pushing the rest of the way. I arched against him, my hands clamoring to grab his shoulders as he filled me to the hilt, forcing another orgasm before I could breathe.
For a moment, we stared at each other, my eyes wet with unshed tears at what was happening.
“I love you,” he said through clenched teeth. “Today, tomorrow, always. You are mine, Sydney.”
I pulled him down toward me, brushing my lips over his and tasting my own self on his lips.
“Always.”
He growled and started to move, the bed jerking with the movement as I clung to him, taking all he had to give. I wasn’t worried about what our future might hold, or that one day I might lose him.
I was only focused in this one moment, wrapped in his love.
When he came, I felt the waves crash over me too.
“God,” he said after a moment, carefully rolling onto his side.
I snuggled against him, sex heavy in the air.
“I’m going to pay for that.”
I giggled.
“I told you so.”
His hand brushed lazily over my stomach, drawing little circles around my belly button.
“I don’t fucking care. I wasn’t waiting another minute.”
I turned to face him, cupping his cheek with my hand.
“Are you sure about this?”
He grinned.
“Having second thoughts now that you had a piece of me?”
I slapped him on his shoulder.
“No, I just… what if life tears us apart?”
He leaned over and kissed me.
“Then we will figure it out together, Syd. I’m tired of losing you.”
Tears sprang to my eyes.
“I love you so much.”
His expression grew tender, and I saw the love reflected in his eyes. My big, bad biker loved me. There was no doubt about it.
“Marry me.”
“W-what?”
He captured my hand, kissing it.
“I don’t have a fucking ring, nor do I have a crystal ball to tell you that our future is going to be perfect by any means. But I do know I love you, and that’s all I can offer you. Marry me, Syd. Don’t ever let me feel how it feels to not have you by my side.”
A tear slipped down my cheek, and I nodded, rewarded with another kiss.
“I… yes. I will marry you, Zack.”
I wanted to give him everything he should have had in his life. A life full of love and happiness, a family that loved him no matter what he did, and the support he needed to keep going. I wanted to be with him when we had our first child, to see the wonderment in his eyes as he held his son or daughter in his arms. I wanted to be there when they went off to college or got married and be the person that held his hand after our house was empty.
Most of all, I wanted to leave this life knowing I had loved him truly and fully, holding his hand right up to the end.
We might not have the same goals and aspirations, but we had love, and love was enough.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Zack
One Year Later
“God, you are lazy as fuck. When are you going to get out of this bed?”
I grinned as I gave Sydney a pat on her ass, sitting next to her on the bed. She gave me the eye, the one that meant she could skewer me alive before rolling over.
“I worked all night. Give me a break.”
I rubbed her back lightly.
“It’s after three o’clock, and I have waited all day to spend some time with you. Give me a break.”
She threw a pillow at me, and I caught it, laughing. If I had learned anything over the past year, I had learned that Sydney was a horrible person when I woke her up after a shift.
Well, unless I was fucking her. That was when she was most agreeable to anything I was doing.
She sighed and rubbed a hand over her face, staring up at me.
“What do you want to do today?”
I gave a little shrug, leaning down to kiss her.
“Maybe we can go for a ride, get something to eat. How does that sound?”
She eyed me.
“It might be agreeable. Does it involve a burger?”
I grinned as I slid in bed next to her, pulling her against me and breathing in her scent. It had been a year since that day she had taken me back into her life and agreed to marry me. We hadn’t gotten married yet, but the ring on her finger let everyone know that I fully planned on doing the deed just as soon as this mess was done.
Now we were living in the little house she had been renting, my shit all over the place. Together we had purchased the place and now were in the process of remodeling it together, something I found I enjoyed doing. Anything I did with her was enjoyable, and I found myself wondering from time to time what my life had been like during those years we weren’t together. Sydney was my world, the very air I breathed, and every time she walked out of that door to go to work, I found myself panicking that she might not come back.
True to form, the chief had taken her back with open arms, putting her on the task force that was currently hunting down Grayson and his traitors. I joined in from the Horsemen side, but during work we kept it strictly professional between us. She had a job to do, and so did I.
That’s why I was waiting to marry her. I wanted us to not have this black cloud hanging over us. Nuzzling her ear, I let my hands roam down her body.
“You know, I could make your afternoon pretty spectacular.”
She laughed.
“You always do. What did you have in mind Zack?”
“A little bit of this,” I said, squeezing her breast. “A little bit of that.”
“I think that might be nice,” she said breathlessly, arching against me.
I nibbled on her neck as my hand drifted lower, nearly finding the waistband of her shorts, before her cell phone buzzed on the bedside table, scaring us both.
“I got to get it,” she sighed, stilling my hand.
“No, you don’t, you’re off for the weekend,” I growled, resuming my trek. “Let it ring.”
She stopped me again.
“But what if they have found Grayson?”
I sighed. Now that would be something we both would be interested in.
“Fine, but if they haven’t, I get you for the entire weekend.”
She patted my hand and reached over, looking at the message.
“Nope, no word.”
I took the phone out of her hand and chunked it into the nearby pile of clothes on the floor.
