Vax Humana: An Urban Fantasy Action Adventure (The Unbelievable Mr. Brownstone Book 13)

by Michael Anderle

  “Why? Anyone you’re interested in has to go through your parents eventually.”

  “Listen to yourself,” Alison replied. “‘Go through?’ It’s not a bounty or a war. The point is, asking a boy to visit you in LA at your house isn’t just brave, it’s suicidal. I think I need to be a hundred percent sure a boy’s the one before I ask someone to risk facing James Brownstone. It’s just not fair otherwise.”

  James snorted. “If they can’t handle me, they don’t deserve you.” He looked over his shoulder to make sure Shay wasn’t around.

  “Maybe.” A few seconds of silence passed. “But if we’re talking about the future, I’m a teen, and you’re the adult.”

  “Meaning what?”

  “Meaning it might be nice for Shay to really become my mom,” Alison murmured.

  James frowned. “Oh, you want her to adopt you, too?”

  Alison let out a long sigh. “Um, not exactly. Look, Dad, I have to go. I definitely want to come home for break. I’ll be taking the train, and no, I’m not bringing any boys home. Talk to you later, and love you.”

  He felt like the conversation had slipped out of control somehow, but he didn’t understand why.

  “Okay, I love you too, Alison.”

  James stared at the dial pad, a deep frown on his face. Alison was pissed. That was the only explanation for why she’d rush off the phone.

  Why would she get upset about asking what I did? She’s the one who said she wanted Shay to be her mom.

  He slipped his phone into his pocket. What else could it mean?

  Shit.

  James grunted. If he married Shay, she would become Alison’s stepmother. She actually would become her mom.

  He sat there, frozen by the enormity of it all. He couldn’t deny he felt something strong for Shay and never wanted her to leave his life, but he wasn’t human. As much as he feared the void of her leaving him, a long-term future seemed like an impossibly arrogant dream.

  Shay suggested his amulet had modified him to pass for human, which was why DNA tests in the past hadn’t revealed anything strange, but exotic Oriceran races had already proven some of the limitations of human molecular biology technology. If they got married, other logical next steps might affect his true nature.

  Just because a lot of Oricerans and humans can have kids doesn’t mean every freak from another planet can.

  James shook his head. Insofar as he understood what love was, he loved Shay, and he couldn’t burden her with a permanent anchor. He wasn’t human. He wasn’t even Oriceran.

  I’m sorry, Alison. I can’t go that far, for Shay’s sake.

  From behind the bar, Tyler eyed a busty blonde waitress as she made her way, tray of drinks in hand, to a group of Russian Mafia enforcers sitting in the corner.

  “Keep leering, and I’ll tell Maria,” Kathy murmured from beside him.

  Tyler snorted. “I’m not leering, I’m evaluating. It’s been a while since I last had waitresses. Trying to figure out the best balance between expense and profit. Staffing levels. That sort of thing.”

  Kathy chuckled and cleared a few empty glasses off the bar. “There is such a thing as being too cheap, you know. It’s not like you’re just scraping by. You don’t have to micromanage expenses that much.”

  “Of course I’m not just scraping by.” Tyler puffed up his chest. “Because of my smart Brownstone-related investments, this place and my operation have gone from small-time to big-time, but it’s not enough.” He rubbed his chin. “I need to figure out a way to take my business to the next level, but this business model has inherent limitations.”

  A loud crash sounded over the rock playing on the speakers. Another new waitress was waving her hands in front of a table of police officers.

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” the woman offered. “I’ll get that cleaned up right away.”

  Tyler scrubbed a hand over his face. “That’s the third time today.”

  “It’s because you’re hiring them for how they look.” Kathy snorted. “Hire them for competence and experience, and you’ll lose fewer glasses and less booze.”

  Tyler’s gaze cut to the brunette. “I hired you for how you look too, you know.”

  Kathy gestured to the waitress and then pointed to herself. “Beauty and brains, not just beauty. Or at least not just implants.”

  Tyler made a hissing sound. “Down, kitty.” He waved a hand. “Like I said, I’ll keep the ones who are competent and get rid of the rest, and let’s use those brains of yours to help me think of new ideas. If you can figure out all that crap with the Eyes, you can help me think of a way to make more money.” He looked down. “Maybe another Black Sun with a different atmosphere? A new place? An expansion?”

  Kathy crossed her arms. “It pains me to say it, but you might be onto something.”

  “Of course I’m on to something. I’m an expert businessman.”

  “I don’t know if betting on Brownstone counts as being an expert businessman.” Kathy rolled her eyes.

  Tyler snorted. “I evaluated where to put my money, and the risks. Those risks paid off. That’s expertise.” He gestured around the bar. “Now I have a bar where cops and crooks both come and don’t fuck with each other, and I pick up good information because of that. But it’s at its limit, so I need a new place. Just need to stick it halfway across the city or something.”

  Kathy shrugged. “Like I said, I think you’ve got the beginnings of a good idea.”

  “Yeah, I do.” Tyler smiled. “This way I can win, too.”

  “Win? Win what?”

  Tyler pointed to the front door. “See that door?”

  Kathy nodded. “Yeah, what about it?”

  “It’s a new one. Brownstone destroyed the old one. I’ll never be tougher than him, but I can show him who the better businessman is.” Tyler grinned. “Yeah, I like where this is going.”

  Trey and his men sat at a table in Jessie Rae’s. Ribs and brisket filled platters in front of them as the men gobbled down meat sauced and seasoned to perfection. Many customers had come in for pick-up orders, but the bounty hunters were the only ones eating in.

  Lachlan nodded toward the wall with a grin. There were a couple of pictures of Brownstone, but also a couple of pictures of men from the Brownstone Agency.

  “I like being famous.” Lachlan grinned.

  Daryl snorted. “You ain’t famous, fool. People know Brownstone, but when they see your picture, they all be like, ‘Who the fuck is this? Did he choke on a bone?’”

  “They say the same thing about you, bitch.”

  Daryl shrugged. “Do you even understand any of that Marcus Aurelius we read?”

  “Huh?” Lachlan blinked.

  The other man slapped his chest. “Worry about yourself, motherfucker, and not any other bitches. That’s what the emperor was laying down. You can’t control other people. You can only control yourself.”

  Lachlan frowned and nodded.

  Trey stared at the text on his phone, his jaw tight, and a rib halfway in his mouth. “Shit,” he mumbled around the rib.

  Kevin looked up from the brisket he was devouring. “If you call Jessie Rae’s shit, you best be moving to Antarctica, because the big man is gonna kick your ass so hard you’ll end up on the moon.”

  The other bounty hunters nodded their agreement.

  Trey shook his head. “Not that. Longshot from an informant just paid off. Wasn’t expecting much because we still don’t have the kinds of connections here we have in LA, but he’s got a line on two level fours. You ever hear of Ben and Claire Harris?”

  Lachlan shook his head. Daryl and Kevin shrugged.

  “Seriously?” Trey looked at the men. “It’s called being proactive, motherfuckers. Try it. Married. People call them the Honeymooner Assassins. They found some weird magical shit on their honeymoon that changed them and made ‘em tougher; able to move shit. Telekinesis. It’s all cute until you hear how they’ve used those powers to become professional ki
llers. They’ve even murdered some FBI and PDA agents.”

  Daryl whistled. “Damn.”

  “They ain’t supposed to even be in this country right now.” Trey frowned. “And they ain’t gonna be in Vegas long according to this information. If we’re gonna move on them, we’ve got to do it in the next few hours, or they’ll get away.”

  Lachlan shook his head. “You still recovering from getting hit in the head? Did your healing potion not work? We ain’t come up here for no magical bounties. We don’t even have our anti-magic gear with us, and not only that, we’re running a small team. There ain’t no way we’re gonna take down two level fours with just the brothers at this table.”

  Trey furrowed his brow. “I’ve got my gloves.”

  Daryl snorted. “Whatever, Brownstone Junior. You tougher now, but that still isn’t enough.”

  Kevin finished his latest rib and set it down. “Why not just call for reinforcements? Have them bring the gear? Or call the big man and bring him in?”

  “Not enough time.” Trey shook his head. “And the big man’s supposed to be on vacation. We call him begging for help, we’re gonna look like little bitches.”

  “Then what’s your plan?” Lachlan asked with a frown. “We charge in there and get ourselves killed?”

  “We need local backup.” Trey lifted his phone. “And I know just who can provide it.”

  Chapter Six

  The Brownstone Agency’s men filed out of their Expedition into the parking lot of a motel, this time without stun rifles. The Honeymoon Assassins were a dead-or-alive bounty, perhaps unsurprising after their murders of law enforcement officers. If the bounty hunters could take the pair alive they’d score a better payday, but Trey wasn’t taking any chances with such dangerous opponents.

  Trey looked at the neon sign above the hotel. It was missing half the letters. All the magic and technology in the world, and seedy places somehow always looked run down in the same way. If we went to some shitty inn on Oriceran, it’d probably look the same.

  A red Ferrari zoomed into the parking lot, its engine nearly silent. It screeched to a halt.

  Electric Ferrari? I know it’s good for the planet and shit, but something’s wrong when you have a sports car that don’t have a nice roar.

  Victoria Stone emerged from the car wearing an even more expensive suit than Trey.

  Why does she always have to show me up like that?

  The pale redhead strolled over to the bounty hunters, her slender hands in her pockets. “Before I go in with you, I want the terms of this little joint operation to be clear.”

  Trey nodded. “Fine by me.”

  The witch’s gaze cut between Trey and the motel. “I’m not taking twenty percent of the bounty, I’m taking fifty percent.”

  “What the fuck?” Lachlan shouted. “That ain’t fair.”

  Victoria shrugged. “You can’t take those two by yourselves.”

  “You can’t either, bi—”

  Trey slapped him upside the head. “Watch your fucking mouth, Lachlan, and show some damned respect.”

  Victoria raised an eyebrow at Lachlan. “You don’t want to get on my bad side.”

  He glared at her. “Just sayin’.”

  “Half a bounty is better than no bounty,” Trey explained. “And Mr. and Mrs. Harris ain’t gonna be around for much longer.” He locked eyes with Lachlan. “I need you. You in, or you gonna be a bitch?”

  The younger man shrugged. “Yeah. Whatever.”

  Trey nodded. “Kevin? Daryl?”

  The other two men grinned. “This shit’s gonna be epic. Let’s show them what it means to be a Brownstone bounty hunter.”

  Trey turned back toward Victoria. “Deal. You get fifty percent, but only because we’re in a hurry. Normally, I wouldn’t let you do us like that.”

  He grabbed the gloves from his pockets and slipped them on.

  The witch narrowed her eyes and stared at his hands. “Those are new.”

  Trey grinned. “You understand what they are?”

  She gave him a half-smile. “They’re magic, that’s for sure.”

  Victoria chuckled. She slipped her hand inside her jacket and pulled out her thin golden wand. “This might be easier than I thought.” She grinned. “You might have been able to get me to not agree to fifty percent if I had known about those.”

  Lachlan frowned. “You do now.”

  She shrugged. “A contract, verbal or otherwise, is a contract. Just ask Trey how I treat men who disrespect me.”

  Trey nodded toward the motel. “Now that we’ve got a witch, maybe they’ll do the smart thing. Come on.”

  The five bounty hunters marched through the parking lot and onto a walkway that took them past several rooms and an algae-filled pool that would probably soon give birth to monsters, from the looks of it.

  “You know the nice thing about motels?” Trey asked.

  Victoria shook her head. “What?”

  “No back doors.” Trey grinned.

  They arrived at Room 109, the location of the couple according to his informant. The blinds were closed.

  Victoria made a few quick movements with her wand. After a bright flash, illuminated glyphs covered her suit, and her eyes glowed bright red.

  The bounty hunters all raised their weapons as Trey knocked a few times.

  Hope this shit goes down easy.

  “Who is it?” called a woman from inside.

  “Claire and Ben Harris, my name is Trey Garfield, and I’m with the Brownstone Agency. You have valid level four dead-or-alive bounties on you. If you surrender immediately you will not be harmed, but if you resist, we will have to beat your asses down, and your safety will not be assured. Please be aware that not only do we have a major group of badasses out here, but we also have a witch backing us up this fine Vegas evening. Why don’t you do the smart thing for all of us?”

  Claire laughed on her side. “Do you hear this, honey?”

  “I told you someone might come sniffing around, Claire,” Ben complained.

  Trey adjusted his tie and frowned.

  You fuckers don’t know who you’re about to screw with.

  He motioned for everyone to back up. They moved a few yards back near a palm tree surrounded by small rocks on the ground.

  “Gonna give you about thirty seconds, and then we’ll have to do this the hard way,” Trey shouted. “This don’t have to be no big mess. That’s on you.”

  Claire scoffed. “You think we’re coming willingly on a dead-or-alive bounty? They’ll almost certainly give us the death penalty, even if you don’t kill us.”

  “At least you have a chance this way.”

  Claire smirked. “A chance? Honey, what do you think?”

  Ben murmured something Trey couldn’t make out. A moment later, the door ripped off its hinges and shot forward. Trey jumped to the side, but the slab slammed into Daryl and Kevin, knocking them to the ground with a loud thud.

  The window exploded a second later, dozens of sharp shards blasting out as if from the twisted shotgun of a giant. Trey’s eyes widened as the glass sped toward Lachlan.

  Victoria shoved him out of the way. Several shards slammed into her, disappearing in a series of bright flashes. The other shards flew past and embedded deep into the trunk of the palm tree behind them.

  A tall blonde woman in a belted blue robe stepped out, followed by a much shorter shaven-headed man in boxers and a wifebeater.

  Trey fired once at Claire and Ben, but the bullets dropped to the ground with a ting before hitting them. Lachlan emptied his clip from his position on the ground but accomplished nothing more than making a small pile of bullets at Claire’s feet.

  He was jerked into the air and kicked his feet, Claire’s hand slowly rose. She dropped it, and the bounty hunter slammed into the ground with a crunch.

  Fuck, no.

  The woman peered at the fallen bounty hunter and sneered. “Congrats on not dying right away. That makes you tougher than eve
n most of the feds who’ve come after us.”

  Victoria twirled her wand in her fingers and didn’t say anything.

  “Don’t worry, witch.” Claire smiled. “We’ll finish off your little friends first.”

  Kevin and Daryl groaned, but their eyes weren’t open. Lachlan was breathing, but also unconscious. Trey gritted his teeth. They were alive, which meant their healing potions could take care of their problems, but that left only Victoria and Trey to deal with Claire and Ben.

  Trey holstered his pistol. “This still don’t have to be a big deal.”

  Claire laughed. “You’re the one putting your gun away.” She nodded at her husband. “He thinks that since he has a witch, he can win.” She lifted her hand and frowned. “You’re not moving.”

  “Nope,” Trey replied with a grin. “What? Your shit don’t work on people with magical protection?”

  “You both talk too much,” Victoria muttered. She pointed her wand, and a golden energy blast shot from the tip and struck Claire. The bounty flew back and slammed against the wall, hissing. She fell to one knee and glared at Victoria.

  Her husband growled and thrust out his hands. Hundreds of rocks shot up from the ground to pelt her, disappearing in flash after bright flash against her suit. Victoria stumbled back, the glyphs of her suit dimming.

  Several palm fronds ripped off the tree and flew toward Victoria and Trey. The low-velocity plant parts simply bounced off the witch, and Trey batted them out of his face. Claire and Ben sprinted down the walkway toward the parking lot.

  Victoria leveled her wand and fired another ball of golden death, narrowly missing the criminals as they turned the corner. “Whatever shield they have doesn’t seem to handle magic well. You might have a chance with those gloves.”

  Trey pointed toward the fleeing bounties. “I’ll catch up. Just need to give these guys their potions.”

  She nodded and rushed after the escaping bounties.

  Trey knelt and pulled each man’s healing potion out of their jackets, opened their mouths, and poured it down their throats, his heart pounding. They were all still breathing, but it was hard not to remember Shorty.