“That is a bit extreme, isn’t it, Addy? No one is putting a gun to my head, and I certainly am not putting one to yours. We aren’t teenagers, Sweet Cheeks, we have careers, and resources to raise a family. Better than most people start off life with,” Marshall reasoned logically. And he did make sense, much of his argument made perfect logic. Just one important part was missing from his plan.
“That is true, but that’s not the best reason to get married Marshall. There has to be more than stability in marriage to make for a happy family.” Frustration flooding me all of a sudden. Why did he have to push this … need for a marriage for our family? I didn’t have the first idea what that entailed. Foster homes weren’t exactly a guiding example, not the ones I had been in any way.
“Enlighten me, Sweet Cheeks.”
“Love Marshall, it is the basis for all relationships. Something I have never had or felt, from a person or for a person,” I told him, ducking my head so he couldn’t see my face, see the evidence in my expression that I had no inkling how to love or see my biggest secret of all. Use the gift he seemed to have, of all-knowing, all-seeing and discover that I wasn’t … lovable, and then he was going to run fast, just like my parents did.
Strong arms banded around my middle, drawing me back against a warm wall of muscle. Memories of that night invaded me, the warmth and safety I felt in Marshall’s arms now exactly the same as five months ago. Leaning against him, I savoured the feelings, and allowed myself to go back in time and remember.
“Sweet Cheeks, I’m not trying to push you to make a decision right now.” Marshall chuckled, “ Okay, yeah I am, but I promise to let it go for now as long as you promise to involve me in everything, with the baby and you.” His hands pressed to my belly over the small bump of our baby. “That’s all I want, for now, Addy.”
Turning my head, I looked up at the father of my child.
“But, you want more?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah, Sweet Cheeks, and I want a hell of a lot more, and whether you know it now or not, so do you. We have something zinging between us Addy, I admit that I wanted to find you to see if the broken condom resulted in a kid, but that wasn’t the only reason. I felt a connection that night, and even if you won’t admit it, you did too.” Marshall’s deep brown eyes held me transfixed, the power he had over me scared me. And excited me.
Licking my lips, I looked into his brown orbs. “I felt it,” I admitted, in a broken whisper.
“But you still left.”
I saw the hurt on his handsome face, the confusion. It was more than I could take for one night. Gently unfolding his hands from my stomach, I moved out of the comfort he offered.
“I had to,” I croaked out before heading out of the room and down the hall, leaving Marshall alone. Again.
CHAPTER NINE
GRILL
I threw another combination of punches at the bag taking my aggression and frustration out on the leather– at least that’s what I was trying to do. It wasn’t working, however, because I had been at it for the last hour and still no miracle answers were coming to me.
Five nights ago, I slept on Addy’s small couch and had done every night since. I had to do something about better sleeping accommodation because one more night on that love seat and my body was going to revolt. Addy wasn’t ready to let me in her bed, I was okay with that, pushing her was not in my game plan. I had patience, more than most men. What I didn’t have was a clue how to reach Addy, how to make her believe I could be trusted with her heart. Her past was the biggest hurdle I was facing, her parents and the foster system did a real number on her, excluding me from getting closer to her. And that pissed me the fuck off.
I knew the minute I laid eyes on her again in her clinic she was still special to me– more than a one-night stand. A woman I could spend my life with, grow a family with together.
“Yo Grill, what did that bag ever do to you?” Ammo yelled at me from the other side of the workout room. Early this morning, my team got a call to head back to Queenscliff for a training exercise and to attend a debriefing on a situation happening in Papua New Guinea involving a large regiment of separatists moving in on the villages in West Papua. An informant on the island informed our government about kidnapping plots aimed at Australian officials working over there. The team was on alert, and the call could come at any time, which meant I had to move quickly– gaining Addy’s trust foremost on my mind, as was sleeping more comfortably at night. Hopefully, my plan could kill both birds with one stone and set my plan in motion before I had to leave.
Ignoring Ammo’s comment about the bag, I grabbed my towel and wiped off my face and chest.
“You have a gut feeling when we will get the call to head out?” I asked, directing the question at both Bastian and Gabe.
“The major thinks we will be called in as a last resort. ADF are already in Port Moresby; the Navy shipped off last week, and two ships- one fully loaded. Why do you ask?” Gabe stood beside the bag, his hands on his hips his expression curious.
I nodded, understanding the term fully loaded, the Navy was expecting trouble.
“I need to get back to Ballarat and take care of something before we get deployed. Addy is—” I dragged a hand down my face and blew out a frustrated breath taking a moment to choose my words. Addy’s trust also included me keeping her private life private. My mates would never repeat anything I told them, but it didn’t sit well with me to share parts of her life she had never spoken about to anyone else but me. I’m not saying she was an open book yet, but I was getting more and more from her the more time we spent together. The one thing that stood out was she was scared of loving and being loved. I was aware of the reasons behind her fears, just wasn’t too sure how to go about knocking down her walls.
The woman was stubborn as hell. Independent to the point where I wanted to pull my hair out of my head, but fuck, she was sexy. Spending nights with her in her small house, watching her glide around the kitchen while she cooked us dinner, or cuddling with her on the murderous love seat watching TV. Addy was a cuddle bunny; in fact, she sought out contact with me more and more. I loved our nights, holding her against me or in my lap, my hands always found themselves seeking out the baby bump, a bump that was growing fast before my eyes. Tomorrow was our appointment for the ultrasound at the hospital. Addy still refused to go through an OBGYN insisting on doing share care with her GP.
That was another source of my workout on the bag today, she said I could be involved with the baby, but she wasn’t so forthcoming with letting herself get involved. Seeing to her care was just as important to me. There wasn’t a great deal I could do for Sproggo until his or her birth, and other than making sure she ate, Addy insisted she could look after her own finances and wouldn’t hear of me giving her any money.
I had to smirk at the use of the nickname Addy gave our baby. I found myself using it whenever we talked about the upcoming birth. The woman was so far under my skin; I could almost taste her. Almost.
“Addy is??? Your reason, driving you insane because she is holding you at arm’s length, or the woman you want to fall to your knees for?” Cole asked with a smirk. I didn’t even know that Cole was in the gym, demonstrating his position in the team as the best infiltrating undercover commando in the Australian Army. He got into places without detection, and he could blend in and collect intel without the enemy even knowing, then disappear before anyone even realised he had been there.
Cole’s stealth detective work gave us the upper hand on many occasions saving our arses more than once, but his stealth also freaked me out like now.
“Where the hell did you come from Ghost? Make some fucking noise when you walk upon a person for fuck’s sake,” I grumbled, using the name we only called him when he was in uniform or on deployment.
“I don’t make noise Grill; the day I do is the day I fuck up. Now, your woman, it seems to me that she hasn’t had anyone she can depend on, you know, to trust. She is carrying your baby, she tried to find you,
and she invited you into her home. You should talk to one of the originals if anyone can help you see where you are going wrong, it’s the Souls. My dad and his brothers know how to treat their women.” Cole nodded, then levelled me with his black eyes, then turned around and left, leaving me shaking my head.
“I swear he talks and I feel like I just had a conversation with God himself.”
Gabe and Bastian laughed, Gabe smacking me on the shoulder.
“You should’ve grown up with him, and sometimes he would sneak into our rooms when we were asleep, then leave clues to show us he had been in there. It freaked most of us kids out at first, but eventually, we got used to it. From day one, Cole knew what he was going to be, what his calling was in life,” Gabe explained, laughing along with Bastian.
I wish I had grown up at the Wounded Souls’ compound. So many strong supportive men in my corner. Women who cared for and loved their kids, nieces and nephews. Fuck, that must have been nice to have.
Giving the bag one more punch I stalked over to the bench where my bag was, reaching inside it, I grabbed my phone.
“Reckon I can leave Cap?” I asked, pressing the numbers 124YES, normally I would google the number for information, but I only used those services on my computer. Phones could be hacked too easily, life as a commando meant you never knew when someone could be targeting you for intel. Ford made sure all of our personal computers had the best firewalls and security; I never bothered giving him my phone because I rarely used it. The army kept in contact with me through my beeper and Gabe. Other than that, I was off the grid and enjoyed it that way.
“Don’t see why not. The training exercise is over; the major has been briefed, I have a few hours of paperwork left then I am heading home myself. Dev has been without me for long enough. You can take off too, Ammo; Wren will be needing you I’m sure.”
I half-listened to Tank while asking the operator for the information I needed, then had her connect me to the number I’d requested. Once I spoke to the salesman and ordered the perfect item for Addy and me, I promised to be in to pay for my purchase.
“Can I grab a ride with you Ammo? I drove down here with Rafe, so that Addy could use my car, but he isn’t leaving until the weekend,” I asked Bastian, ignoring the smirks on my mate’s faces. It was possible that Addy was making me lose my mind and my man card, but I didn’t give a shit. Proving to her that I was here forever and all in meant showing her in every possible way. The fact she didn’t have a car annoyed me to no end, leaving her with my ute was the only sensible thing for me to do. Walking to work while pregnant, did not sit well with me, I had to practically get down on my knees and beg her to take my car. Never had I had to work so hard for someone other than me to drive my beast.
“Sure mate, I have to go shower, then we can leave. You going straight to Addy’s?”
I checked my phone for the time and determined that Addy would most likely not be finished for another three hours. It only took an hour to get back to Ballarat, so I had time spare to do something before she got home.
“Compound first, I think I might take Ghost’s advice. I reckon I could do with some help getting into the head of a woman,” I decided in a moment of clarity, only Ghost was wrong who I should be talking to help me.
“Oh, Jesus mate, you aren’t talking about what I think you are talking about?” Gabe asked, shocked.
“Yep, it’s time I sat down with the women of the Flock,” I confirmed, already feeling sweat gather on my forehead and palms. I needed an expert opinion, and there was no one better than the ladies of the Wounded Souls.
***
Please let my beeper go off, Jesus Christ save me, please.
The prayer echoed in my mind as each and every woman stared me down, even Ghost’s mum, Memphis, who was blind pinned me with a stare that caused my body to break out in a full-on sweat.
“Another vanilla slice, Marshall?” Charlotte asked me, holding a platter of baked goods in front of me. “Maybe a caramel slice? Trust me when I saw they help solve all your problems.”
I stared at the goodies as if they were a trap, laced with poison or some kind of truth serum. Already I had consumed three of them, and so far, I had laid all my cards on the table and practically spewed out every secret and every childhood misdemeanour. Fuck, I even told them about losing my virginity to my mate’s older sister when I was seventeen.
This was the worst idea ever and now I had no way of escaping.
“No! No more please for the love of God,” I begged, holding up my hands in a desperate sign of surrender.
“Please, ladies, please, let me go. I’m sorry I made a mistake. I don’t need any advice. I was wrong, so very, very wrong,” I implored, dropping my head to the table and hitting it softly against the surface.
Laughter filled the room at my antics, but none of them sounded sympathetic at all, just giggles of humour. Lifting my head just enough to take in the devils disguised as loving mothers and wives, I let out a frustrated growl only to receive more devilish cackles.
“Oh, Grill, you know you came to us because you need help with your baby mama. Now, what you don’t know is we can answer all the questions you may have, but first we needed to get to know you. See what makes you tick,” Rainn, Mannix’s wife, explained taking a piece of caramel slice from the plate. “Hello, my wonderful, loyal friend.” Rainn groaned before taking a large bite of the gooey treat.
“Why do you need to know how I tick?” I asked, confused. I should’ve gone to the originals; I regret that now, so much regret.
“Because we needed to see your character so we can determine the extent of your commitment,” Stella replied, smiling gently at me.
“We only know you as Grill, a member of Team FIVE. Yes, you spend a lot of your time here at the compound, but we don’t really know Marshall Webber,” Mia said, pushing the plate of goodies back in front of me, a knowing grin on her face.
“And since I have met Addy, and like her very much. We want to make sure you aren’t going to make her life more difficult or hurt her.” Stella pinned me with a glare, as did the rest of the women sitting around the table. As uncomfortable as I was sitting there, being accused of bad intentions or hurting Addy, was not going to fly.
“I beg your pardon?” I asked in a low growl, not quite menacing but pretty darn close.
Charlotte let out a gasp then disguised it with a cough. “Well Marshall, we just mean that maybe you should get a DNA test before you pursue any kind of relationship with Adeline.” The suggestion was delivered gently by the SAA’s wife, but the next comment not so much.
“Of course, if you just want sex, may I suggest you look elsewhere,” Stella interjected crossly and obviously after my head on a platter. Why I didn’t know, but I was going to find out, once I sorted out the misconception of my intentions.
Stealing myself for a brief moment, I reigned in my temper. This was the Flock and the wives of five of the most respected men in the history of the commandos, the last thing I wanted was five huge pissed off men storming the kitchen if they heard me yelling at their women.
“I don’t know what has brought on this well-meaning attack on my person,” I started, carefully choosing my words. “But, my personal business is mine, and no one else’s. I have no desire to force Addy into anything, especially into my bed,” I told them firmly.
Pushing up from the table, I got to my feet. I had some time before the delivery was due at Addy’s and I wanted to shower and change back into a clean uniform. Normally, the minute I hit home, the first thing to go was the uniform, but the other day at the clinic, I saw the flash of disappointment on my Sweet Cheek’s face when she took in my civvies. If wearing my combat clothes was going to get the advantage I needed to break through Addy’s wall, then I was more than willing to play.
“And,” I growled, placing my hands on the table and leaned down, making sure every woman was looking at me. “That baby is mine, make no mistake about that. I don’t need a test to co
nfirm something I already know. I don’t think there is anything left to talk about, is there ladies?”
Stella surprised the shit out of me by smiling wide, as did Mia, Charlotte and Memphis, only Rainn looked at me with narrowed eyes, her lips pursed as if she was thinking hard while she stared intently at me.
“Yep!” Stella beamed at me, “all good here, right girls?” Stella looked around at her friends, getting nods from everyone expect Rainn, who was now making me more uncomfortable than I was when I first sat down.
“Perfect. Good luck Grill, we are on your side and if you need any help don’t hesitate to ask,” Memphis added, her smile looking much like the Mona Lisa.
What the hell?
“Huh? How do your men deal with you?” I mumbled, shaking my head, slowly walking towards the door.
“The same way you will deal with Adeline, Marshall. Carefully and lovingly.” Charlotte smiled at me.
“Got ya,” I answered with a wink– my pissed off mood slipping away as quickly as it came. I got played, five beautiful women just played me like I was a wet-nosed rookie. Unbelievable.
Admiration for the women in the room coursed through me; they hardly knew Addy, yet they were already protective of my girl. Knowing that they would be around when I had to go on deployment eased some of my worry. Independent or not, Addy deserved to have friends on her side, and I, for one, was happy it was the scary ladies of the Flock.
“Excuse me, ladies, I need a shower before I go to Addy’s place,” I excused myself, offering them a gentle smile, hoping there were no hard feelings from my outburst.
“Grill?” Stella stood up and walked over to me. Gabe’s mother didn’t look a day over thirty, her blonde hair didn’t have a hint of grey and her face was practically wrinkle-free, other than smile lines at the corners of her kind eyes.
“Yes, Stella?”
“I don’t know all that much about Addy. I have only met her once, but from the time I spent with her at my shop, I got the impression she hasn’t had much love in her life or many people that care about her. Go easy, but don’t let her close you out. She is skittish like a kitten tossed aside. She wants to be loved, but doesn’t trust or think she deserves it.”
Grill (The Wounded Sons Book 3) Page 8
