Find You There

by Brianna Bennett

“Well, I know that the two of you are close, and you’re probably upset about your father’s decision.”

  “I don’t love it, but if it helps Rider, that’s what matters, right?” Mom smiled tightly. She paused, clearly waiting to see if Luca would say anything else. When he didn’t, she continued.

  “Please understand something. I love you both. You two are the greatest blessings of my life.” She sighed shakily as Rick’s staff beckoned them to the stage. “You must think I’m a terrible mother for letting your father do this.” Luca didn’t respond, unsure whether he should agree or not. “You know how much Rider’s diagnosis affected our family. Maybe this will be good for him. Give him time to . . . discover himself.”

  “Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?” Luca asked in response, but the press conference began before they could say anything else.

  The morning after Rider went away, Luca actually took the time to make his bed, stripping off the old sheets and replacing them with clean ones. It’s been an embarrassingly long time since I did laundry. Technically, their house had three bedrooms—one master and two smaller ones—but the second of the smaller rooms had become Rick’s office, so Luca got the basement. He didn’t mind it, though. It was kind of like having his own studio apartment, except he didn’t pay rent or any other inconvenient expenses. His bed folded into the sectional couch just in case they had company over, but people rarely came down here.

  The door opened, and Luca once again listened to the footfalls to determine who was coming, and it was Carrie. Daisy beat her to the bottom of the steps, tail wagging as she leapt onto Luca’s bed, messing up his hard work. He couldn’t bring himself to be upset at her, though, so he sat down and scratched the top of her head, looking up when Carrie walked in front of him.

  “Hey,” he greeted, fluffing his pillow to give his hands something to do. “Sleep well?” He grimaced. That was a weak conversation starter, and he knew it. At least it’s better than asking about the weather.

  “This place has become more of a home to me than my actual house,” Carrie answered, walking behind Luca to get to his desk chair. She sat down with a heavy sigh. “It’s so weird, knowing that Rider isn’t here.” Luca stopped petting Daisy, and the dog stared up at him like he’d committed high treason. He smiled and resumed the scratches, considering what to say in response.

  “Was he okay? When you left, I mean?” Luca asked, somewhat afraid of the answer.

  “As okay as he could be, considering,” Carrie answered, and Luca ran a hand through his hair. “Luca, I need to talk to you.” Some instinct inside Luca knew what this was about, but that still didn’t keep him from recoiling when she spoke again. “I think we should stop seeing each other.” He bowed his head, vaguely relieved to not be the one to bring it up. “You know, officially.”

  Then again, Carrie had always been braver than he had. Even when they’d played make-believe as kids, she’d always been an active participant in her own “rescue” even when the boys complained that she wasn’t playing by the rules.

  “. . . Somehow, this isn’t an earth-shattering revelation.” Luca clenched his jaw after he spoke, wishing it were while simultaneously, ignoring Daisy’s puppy eyes when he stopped petting her this time. “For the record, it wasn’t . . . me, right?” He glanced over and found Carrie shaking her head. Daisy apparently decided that Luca wasn’t worth her time anymore, so she pranced over to Carrie and proceeded to beg for her attention.

  “Hey, Daisy-girl,” Carrie cooed, picking up where Luca had left off. “I don’t think it was either of us, really. We got together on a whim and were comfortable enough to stay that way. The thing is, neither of us are emotionally invested in this relationship anymore. We still love each other, but I think it’s better for the both of us if we just move on from the expectations of a romantic relationship.”

  “When did you grow up and get all mature, Carrot?”

  “When you weren’t looking, obviously,” she answered with a light, if somewhat bitter, laugh. “No hard feelings though, right?” Daisy looked between the two humans for a minute and then began chasing her own tail. That gives me an idea, Luca thought.

  “Not at all.” He turned to face her fully. “Hugs?” She got up and leapt into his arms. Instinctively, he twirled her around the tiny space between his bed and the wall a few times until they were both breathlessly laughing at nothing. Still, even when they were pressed together like this, there was no yearning or desire in his heart, just familial love. He could tell she felt the same way by the way her eyes shone in the dim light. Luca let her go, and she stepped back, a warm smile replacing her frown. They said their goodbyes, parting as found siblings rather than partners, and something in Luca’s heart became unglued and fell away, disappearing into the abyss. Daisy trotted after Carrie, her nails clicking on the floor upstairs.

  Elena Ryan-Meadows had the same wavy brown hair as her daughters. She had been growing it out since her final round of treatment, and it fell just past her shoulders now. Tall and thin, she wore jeans, a gray tank top, and a white cardigan, rectangular glasses perched on the top of her head.

  “Now that we’re all here, know that your mother and I came to this decision as a team,” Chuck began, clearing his throat and sounding more sober than any of them had heard in months. Fear churned through Lyric like the little engine that could, pausing for brief intervals only to push harder when encouraged by aborted words or shared glances.

  “We have formally decided to file for a legal separation. It is not a divorce, as they would cease your father’s health insurance coverage for my cancer care, but on paper, our

  marriage . . . will be over.” Elena watched her children, biting her lip nervously while she waited for them to respond.

  Lyric’s stomach dropped out of her like a safe in the black-and-white Bugs Bunny cartoons. I know things were tough for a while, but I never thought they’d actually go through with it. It’s basically divorce-lite.

  She glanced at her siblings; Cadence’s skin had become the color of milk, while Rhythm’s had filled with tomato-colored fury. I’m gonna puke. My face is probably the color of broccoli or something. “We’ve been working with a lawyer, and she suggested weekend visitation with me while you continue to live here full time. You will alternate each week in age order, or whatever order you see fit. You’re adults, so we can’t order you to do anything, but my condo only has one spare bedroom, so this is how it’s going to have to be.” She stopped, swallowing hard and looking at Chuck beseechingly. In his typical manner, he did not return the look, but he did speak up.

  “This will be a difficult adjustment for all of us, but you all know that I have always tried to do what is best for our family. I relinquished the opportunity to become a composer because your mother needed me.” He paused, laying his meaty hand on the table. “That said, based on how you haven’t made a peep about this, it’s clear that we miscalculated your maturity levels,” he concluded coldly, and the three Meadows siblings recoiled as if they’d been slapped.

  “Chuck—” Elena bit out. Her expression darkened as her eyes darted back and forth between her soon-to-be-ex and their children. Chuck cut her off.

  “Elena, you can go. Unless you have something relevant to add, I believe I need to speak to them alone.”

  “You don’t get to dismiss me like this! They’re my children too!”

  “You know what?” Lyric shot to her feet, fists clenched. “Screw you both.” Her anger tasted bitter, and her sorrow smelled like sewage. Or maybe that was the dishes in the sink that Dad had been too drunk to clean up. “I’m going for a walk,” she ground out, turning on her heel, throwing open the front door, and slamming it behind her without looking back.

  Chapter Five

  Luca was . . . lost. He didn’t want to be. He wanted to be the type of guy who could let certain things roll off his shoulders, but he just wasn’t. Part of him wanted to cry just to release some of the feelings that buzzed inside him l
ike bumblebees around their hive, but crying didn’t feel like the right reaction.

  I’m not . . . sad that Carrie ended things. She had every right to do it, but I

  guess . . . I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be alone. Add that to Rider being away, and I just feel wrong. He’d decided to take Daisy for a walk, and she was more than happy to oblige his aimless wandering through town. There were things to smell and areas unexplored, after all.

  Luca heard Lyric before he saw her; more specifically, he heard her humming. She was wearing sweatpants and a tank top—pajamas, most likely—and had her head down, staring at her feet while she walked. He didn’t recognize the song, but he didn’t have to, because they almost collided before he said anything. Daisy’s tail wagged excitedly, and Lyric offered her hand for his dog to smell, and she must’ve found something she liked, because she started licking her hand like it was made of peanut butter.

  “Lyric?” She looked up at him in slow-motion, and he realized she was crying. “Whoa, hey.” He gently placed his hands on her shoulders, thumbs stroking the skin consolingly. “What’s wrong?” he asked. She didn’t say anything at first, sniffling and not meeting his eyes.

  “Sorry,” she said quietly, smiling bitterly.

  “For what?” he asked, making sure not to raise his voice and shatter the moment.

  “That you always have to see me like this. Ugly crying and miserable,” she replied, leaning her head back and staring at the sky as if it could provide an answer. “First my pieces are destroyed, and now my parents are giving up on their marriage . . . . It’s like someone in the universe has it out for me.” Luca’s chest tightened. He knew all too well how she was feeling. In a way, he was going through it right now. Between Rider’s “vacation” and the breakup with Carrie . . . Maybe he could help them both feel better.

  “Walk with Daisy and me?” he asked, and she looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed. “Just trust me.”

  Claymoor summers, like most seasons in Pennsylvania, were unpredictable at best and impossible at worst. Unlike yesterday, prestorm humidity clung to the air like the scent of burnt rubber and the sun hung high in the sky, so the oppressive heat suffocated even Lyric and Luca, who spent several hours at a time around a kiln that ran far hotter than this weather.

  “I didn’t know you had a dog,” Lyric said, aiming for casual small talk. “You said her name is Daisy?”

  “Yeah, we rescued her from a no-kill shelter when I was kindergarten. The vet thinks she was abandoned by her previous owner, which I can’t even imagine because she has so much love to give out.”

  “I’ll never understand how people can just toss animals outside in the trash.” They’d made their way to Claymoor’s park and ducked next to the statue of Jacob Claymoor for some relief from the oppressive heat. “It’s actually good we ran into each other. I’ve been meaning to ask you: What was the deal with you and that detective? Abbott or something?” Luca frowned, shoving his hands into his pockets. Daisy sat down and panted beside him, her tongue lolling out like a Fruit Roll-Up. Lyric noted he was wearing basketball shorts and a T-shirt with flip-flops that accentuated his steps. How does he manage to make even the most casual outfit look good? she thought. Must be the genetics. He leaned back, and Lyric found herself admiring his cheekbones. Of all things to notice, she thought, but cut herself off when he started to speak.

  “Last year, Rider took my dad’s midlife-crisis Mercedes Benz for a spin and convinced Carrie and me go to with him. We knew he was manic, but we didn’t want him to be alone either. So, we went, and he wrapped the car around a telephone pole. We were lucky to survive; the car was completely totaled. It’s why I drive an ancient Honda Civic—Dad refused to buy another expensive car again after that. That detective was one of the first ones on the scene, and the first thing he did was flirt with Carrie. She politely rebuffed him, but he was being a persistent douchebag, so I punched him in the face. Got a slap on the wrist for assaulting a police officer, but it was worth it.”

  “And Carrie is your girlfriend, right?”

  “At the time she was. We just broke up this morning, actually.”

  “What? How are you not at home crying with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s?” Her genuine shock startled a laugh out of him, one so intense he had to hold his stomach. Daisy stared up at them curiously but then heard a bird or a squirrel and diverted her attention to that. Once he caught his breath, he explained himself.

  “First, you’ve watched way too many romcoms—”

  “There’s no such thing,” Lyric declared, and Luca snorted but continued.

  “Second, guys don’t do that. Third, it hasn’t really hit me yet, and to be honest, Carrie and I were emotionally detached from the relationship a long time ago. We were staying together because it was convenient.”

  “I’ve never heard someone say a romantic relationship was ‘convenient.’” Lyric put air quotes around the last word, and Luca laughed again.

  “Well, ours was. We went to junior prom together, she told me that she had a crush on me and kissed me, and the rest is history.”

  Claymoor’s Central Park was fairly empty, as very few pedestrians could withstand the heat, so they stayed inside with their air-conditioning. Some joggers and cyclists occasionally ambled around them, but for the most part, they were alone. “So . . . I couldn’t help but notice that you’re still in your pajamas, which means you didn’t plan to leave the house this morning.” Luca quickly added, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I’d be willing to listen. You said something about your parents giving up on their marriage, but that could be anything . . . .” Lyric glanced down at herself. I should probably be embarrassed, but it is what it is. Should I bother him with this? I’m so mixed up right now, maybe it would help to talk about it.

  “As long as you swear not to pity me,” she answered, and he wordlessly offered his pinky for a promise, eyes twinkling in a way that made her heart trip over itself. She laughed, and they hooked fingers, jerking their arms up and down in the imitation of a handshake.

  “It started with the Great Disgrace,” she began, launching into the story she’d had memorized since toddlerhood. “My dad used to be a professor at this fancy music school in New York. My mom was one of his students. The attraction was instant, but obviously, professors can’t—well, they’re not supposed to, anyway—date their students. So, they waited until the semester was over, and even then, they kept their relationship secret from everyone except their closest loved ones. As it always does, the truth came out, and once the school found out, they gave my dad two choices: quit and keep his pension or be fired and lose everything. While he was still deciding, my mom found out she was pregnant. That basically made his decision for him; he quit and kept his pension, giving up his future as a composer to raise their baby together. That baby was my older brother Rhythm. With nowhere else to go, my dad returned to Claymoor, bringing my pregnant and technically unattached mother with him. Unfortunately, though, my dad didn’t tell my mom that he’s kind of a celebrity around here.”

  “How so?” Luca asked.

  “Didn’t your mother teach you that it’s rude to interrupt?” Lyric teased, and Luca chuckled, wordlessly gesturing for her to continue. Daisy chose that moment to lie down, exhaling sharply through her snout but offering no further commentary. “Are you bored, Daisy?” Lyric joked. Luca snickered. The dog looked up when she heard her name and wagged her tail a few times but quickly decided to resume her exciting hobby of people-watching.

  “I’ll keep it short since this isn’t history class, but this is what you need to know: Jacob Claymoor founded the town, and his daughter June took over leadership after he died. Skip ahead a few years, and Leticia Smart—”

  “Wait, Leticia Smart as in Jessie Smart?”

  “Yep. Her several-times great-grandmother. In case you haven’t noticed, we take the term ‘family business’ very literally around here.” She gestured to the town as a whole and the
n cleared her throat. “As I was saying, Leticia came in during the women’s suffrage movement and took over. Leticia continued to lead the town until Prudence Claymoor, the great-granddaughter of Jacob, returned and took back her ‘rightful’ spot. Prudence and Leticia fell in love much to the chagrin of the pearl-clutchers. They adopted Prudence’s niece when her parents died in a fire. Her name was Isadore Meadows, and she was my ancestress. Fast forward a few decades, and you have my dad, Charles Meadows, who was expected to go into politics and become leader like his ancestors. He decided to pursue music, so when he came crawling back with a pregnant partner out of wedlock—”

  “You have a Great Disgrace,” Luca finished, and Lyric nodded.

  “The three of us are supposed to make up for our dad’s failures by succeeding in music where he couldn’t,” she explained. “Joke’s on them since none of us actually want to go into music. I want to own a ceramics studio, Cadence wants to be a registered nurse, and Rhythm wants to go into video game coding and design.” She leaned forward, awkward and vulnerable after sharing all of that, and asked, “So, what’s your life story? Being the son of a senator has to be . . . interesting, especially now that your dad is running for president . . . .” She purposefully left it open for him, but he shook his head lightly.

  “Sorry, but you have to reach friendship level four to unlock my tragic backstory,” Luca deadpanned, and Lyric cracked up laughing.

  “Did you just quote a meme at me?”

  “Maayyybbeee.” Luca grinned, dragging out the word playfully; he was happier than he’d been in the last thirty-six hours, possibly longer. Lyric opened her mouth to say something, but a mass of curly brown hair corralled Lyric into a hug. Daisy perked up at the newcomers, but they weren’t interested in her.

  “Lyric!”

  “Whoa, Cades, chill out!” Lyric gasped once Cadence moved far enough away for her to breathe.