Yours Truly, Thomas

by Rachel Fordham

  She let go. “I don’t know what tragedies you’ve seen. I don’t need to. But I know this—you have a future. The good Lord’s given you one and that girl in there needs someone. She has no family here. We get to be that for her for as long as she needs us. You can sit around lamenting about the past, the fire, and all your losses, or you can be the man she needs right now.”

  “I’ll help her. I will. But I don’t know how.” He dropped his hands to his side. “I don’t know how to make anything right. People who cross my path suffer.”

  “No! Life happens. No one can stop it. What you can do is be there for her.” Margaret’s face softened. “Put a smile on her face. Make those green eyes sparkle. Be near her. Hold her hand when she’s awake. Soothe her when she coughs. Read to her. Take care of Honey. Do anything you like, but do it in a way that will make her smile and want to face each painful day.”

  “Like you did for me?” He stared at his feet. “When I wanted to give up because of my wagon and my past.”

  “I knew when you showed up with your hollow eyes that what you needed was a firm hand. I think a gentle touch might be more effective with Penny.” She rubbed his back as he battled another body-shaking cough. “But I do believe there is something to smile about each day. Right now it’s the fact that the charming Penny is still with us. Pain seems to have brought you two together, so you may as well enjoy the union.”

  The doctor stepped out from the bedroom. “Excuse me. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  Margaret stood. “How is she?”

  “She’s sleeping now. I expect she’ll wake up in pain before long. Often with smoke inhalation, there’s a lot to clear out of the lungs. Her body will do its best to expel the fluid. I also expect she’ll be tired and likely in and out of consciousness due to weakness and pain.” He shifted the bag in his hand. “I’ve set and stitched her leg the best I can, but it’ll scar. If kept clean, it’ll heal. We can give her laudanum as needed.”

  Thomas stood. “Thank you for caring for her.”

  “It’ll take more than me to see her through this. I’m sure we can get women from around town to help attend to her needs. Abigail Howell is a talented nurse. Rose Hewitt has experience as well.” He looked at Margaret when he spoke. “I trust you can make arrangements.”

  “I’ll enlist all the help I can get. Thomas plans to sit with her from time to time as well.”

  Thomas nodded. “I do. I’d like to help. I . . . I owe her that much.”

  “I’m not sure that’d be appropriate.”

  Margaret stood. “I will serve as a chaperone of sorts. You know the rules of this boardinghouse. I won’t let anything happen under this roof that tarnishes its name. All things considered, I don’t think sitting in the front room is an option.”

  “Very well. I’ll trust your judgment.” The doctor moved toward the stairs. “I’ll come back again in a few hours to check on her. Until then, do what you can to keep her comfortable, and make sure she gets plenty to drink when she’s awake. And, Thomas, you need to take it easy too. Your lungs seem to have fared better than hers, but don’t push yourself too hard.”

  “I’ll be careful.”

  “I’ll keep an eye on him,” Margaret said.

  The doctor offered a few more bits of medical wisdom, then with bag in hand he left.

  Margaret looked at him as though she were appraising him, judging his health and mental state. “I’d like to spread word of the accident. Penny hasn’t been here long, but there are already many who will care. Will you sit with her?”

  “Alone?”

  “I trust you. Besides, I’ve a girl who helps me with dinner. She’ll be downstairs in the kitchen prepping the meals. You’re not truly alone. When she’s better, I’ll be sure I’m home if you’re in her room. I meant what I said. This house is respectable, but there’s a girl in there who needs a friend, so go.”

  Thomas swallowed the lump in his throat. “I will.” Then he stepped closer to Margaret. “I didn’t mean what I said before. I don’t wish I’d died. I’m only sorry she’s suffering. I wish I could have stopped it.”

  “I know. But that’s in the past now. Go on in there.” She shooed him toward the door. “I won’t be long.”

  He turned toward the door.

  “Wait. How did the fire start?” Margaret asked.

  “I don’t know. The fire was already so large by the time I got there.” He looked away. The loss of his barn felt trivial in comparison to Penny’s pain. “I haven’t given the fire much thought. It may have eaten my house by now for all I know.”

  “I’ll have the sheriff get men out to your place.”

  “It’s just a barn.” Thomas leaned against the doorframe.

  “No. It was your barn. And someone could have lost their life today.” She looked at Penny’s door. “Go see to her. I’ll get the right people looking into the fire. Tell me, though, what has become of Honey?”

  “I don’t know. I heard her barking and came toward the noise. I didn’t see her again. I became so worried about the fire and then Penny.” He slammed his fist into the doorframe. “I promised Penny I’d take care of Honey.”

  “I’ll tell the men to look for her. Go in there now.” Margaret turned her back and descended the stairs, leaving him alone outside of Penny’s room.

  Obediently, he stepped into the room that had once been his. Penny lay on the very bed he had spent so many restless nights on. The furnishings were the same as when he had stayed in the room, but where his sparse belongings had been her more feminine ones now resided. A bonnet on the end of the bed, women’s shoes near the door, and a hairbrush beside the washbasin. Still, there were enough reminders of his days in the room that a shiver ran through him.

  Those had been dark days for him—full of agony and regret. Purposeless, hollow days. He’d make sure the days she spent in this room were better than his own had been.

  “I’m so sorry.” He stepped farther into the room and knelt beside her sleeping frame. “I wish I could take all the pain from your body. I wish I could go back and stop the fire from ever starting.” He let his head fall against the edge of the bed. “I never expected to have so many regrets. I wanted to be a changed man.” Then he lifted his head and looked at the woman who’d saved him. “I’ll not make you sorry you came after me. I’ll make sure you never regret that.”

  He took her small hand in his and held it, thankful she was able to find sleep despite the pain.

  “You know,” he whispered, “I was a successful businessman before I was a farmer.” He filled the silence by quietly spewing whatever came to his mind. “Back then no one would have dared tell me I was wrong. But here I am, little more than a lost soul. But I’ll be better.” He ran his thumb over her knuckles. “I promise you, Penelope Ercanbeck, I will be attentive to you. If you need anything, I’ll be there. I’ll do anything. You will be my purpose.”

  He pressed his lips to the tips of her fingers before setting her hand down on the bed. “And my joy. This day and always.” He sat up straighter, surprised by his own words, but he did not take them back. Instead, he found himself studying the fair-skinned woman on the bed. Dark smudges ran along the bridge of her nose and up her cheekbones. Her hair had come loose and lay in a mass of curls. He reached out and brushed them from her face.

  “I’m afraid of fire,” he confessed. “I thought the fear was gone. That I was a new man. I’ve felt so much better as of late, but when I saw the barn go up in flames it all came racing back to me. The memories and the fear took over. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t mean to run inside. I’m so sorry I did.”

  Penny moaned and turned her head to the side. He stood and took a couple steps away, unsure of how to help.

  A washbasin with a cloth next to it sat in the corner of the room. He went to it and dipped the cloth into the cool water. Then he knelt again at her bedside and gently washed the black from her face.

  “Fire is like a monster.” His vo
ice was low and steady. “It eats what it wants. Its appetite is always growing.” He wiped the cloth across her forehead. “Devouring anything it can.”

  A tear ran from his eye. He did not move to wipe it. “I had a fire inside of me once—not a warm fire but a hungry, angry fire. It had no hearth around it to contain it. It was large and fierce. I could not see anything but the fire. I did not love well or even live well. All I did was feed it. I had to work harder. I had to grow my business. I had to have the town belle on my arm. I had to be better than any man around me. I fed the flames day and night.”

  He laid the washcloth on the bedside table and rubbed his face with his hands. “I let it rob me of so much. But you were only a victim. You ran into the flames for me. You saved me.”

  His heart swelled as the reality of her sacrifice settled over him. He leaned over her and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Thank you. Thank you for coming for me.”

  Her hand reached for his face, then dropped again.

  Penny struggled to piece the puzzle together. She remembered the barn. The wild look in Thomas’s eyes. And then the sudden pain. The searing, horrible pain. When the beam hit her, she’d believed she was going to die. In desperation, she’d called to him. She recalled that.

  She opened her eyes. Thomas was sitting in a chair by her bed.

  “You . . .” She tried to swallow. The words wouldn’t come. Her throat was so dry. “You . . . the fire?”

  “Shh.” He stroked her hand. “You’re safe. You’re at the boardinghouse. It’s been two days.”

  “Two days? What? How?”

  “You’re getting better. Don’t worry. It’s normal to sleep a lot when you’re healing. The doctor has set your leg and stitched the injuries. He says you’ll be back on your feet with time. Until then, we’ll care for you. I’ll care for you.”

  “But . . . the fire.”

  “It burned the barn and the cellar. I’m told the house was left untouched.”

  “Are you hurt?” she whispered. The more awake she became, the more she felt the throbbing pain in her leg. Pressing her hands into the bed, she tried to sit. “My leg. It hurts.”

  “I know it does. It’ll get better. The doctor has assured us many times that it will.” He put his hand on her shoulder and gently encouraged her to lie back down. “You have to take it easy. I know it hurts. But getting agitated will make it worse, not better.”

  She forced her eyes to focus on him. He looked tired. “You were here? All this time?”

  “Yes,” he said quietly. “Margaret has a spare room. She’s permitted me to stay and help.”

  “Your farm?”

  “Caleb and the sheriff are asking around. They hope to find clues. But the fire may have been some sort of an accident.” He scratched his brow. “My crops weren’t going to amount to much anyway. Even if they were, I want to be here. I want to be here with you.” She watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “You saved me.”

  “No,” she whispered. “You saved me in ways you don’t even know. I wanted to tell you. I was coming . . . I was going to tell you.” She tried to clear her throat, but it was too dry. A painful bout of coughing racked her lungs. “I don’t think it was an accident.”

  “The barn fire?”

  She nodded. “I saw a man. I couldn’t see his face, but he was not far off when I was coming.” Another bout of coughing shook her entire body. When it calmed, she went on. “Maybe he was passing by. I don’t know. I just ran to you.”

  His brow creased as though he too were in pain. “Do you remember anything else? Did he see you?”

  “I don’t know if he saw me. I wish I could remember more. I don’t like thinking you’re in danger.”

  He sat up straighter. His eyes looked at her with new urgency. “I don’t like thinking you’re in danger. If someone is out to get me, they can have me, but you’ve seen them.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know who it is. If someone comes for you—”

  “No one will.” Penny felt safe, comfortable at Margaret’s. She didn’t want to entertain ideas that contradicted the peace she had found. “No one will do anything to me. I’m never alone.”

  He flexed his jaw. “Rest now and get better. We’ll have more time to talk later. I’ll tell the sheriff you saw someone. I’ll sort it all out later.” He picked up a stack of books and showed them to her. “Mae and Milly were so worried about you. They’ve sent several books for you to listen to. I believe their words were ‘She’s an author. She must love books.’”

  “An aspiring author.” Penny struggled to get the words out. “I told them that.”

  “Nevertheless, they sent them. I’ve read you some already, but I don’t think the words meant much.” He put the books back down and picked up something else. “You’ve also received a letter.”

  “A letter!” She pulled herself up quickly, only to slide back down when her head started spinning. “Someone wrote me.”

  “Take it easy.” He showed her the letter. “I can read it if you want.”

  “No! You can’t.” She tried to grasp for it. “Don’t read it!”

  He laughed and the sound made her weary spirits soar. “I’ll set it on the desk for when you are feeling well enough to read it yourself. Why don’t I read to you? Just a book, nothing personal. I’ll let you keep your letter to yourself, though I am rather curious. It must be full of secrets. When you’re better”—he paused—“we can talk of other things.”

  She sank deeper into her pillow. “I would like that.”

  She felt the bed beside her. Something wasn’t right. “Where’s Honey?”

  A long silence hung in the air. Finally, he put his hand on her shoulder, leaned close, and said, “Will you trust me to care for her? You just get yourself well.”

  Instantly, Penny’s chest tightened. “Is she hurt?”

  “She is.”

  “Is she dead?” Penny’s voice cracked. “Tell me. I have to know.”

  “No. She’s hurt, but she’s alive. We aren’t sure what happened. Maybe part of the burning barn fell on her too.” He glanced toward the door. “You saw a rider. Someone may have injured her. The doctor’s done what he can, but there’s not much he can do if the injuries are inside of her.”

  “She may not get better?”

  “She’s not had much of an appetite these last two days. She’s in my room. I can bring her in here if you want.” Thomas moved his hand to her cheek. “I’m doing what I can for Honey. I’ll make it right somehow.”

  The feel of his touch sent Penny’s heart racing and tears ran from her eyes. He wiped them gently.

  “I would not have offered to care for her if I’d thought it would end like this,” he said.

  “It’s not over. She’ll get well.” Penny bit her quivering lip. “We’ll all be well again.” She put her hand on his. “Bring me Honey? We’ve spent many years together. She’s shared my good and my bad times, and this should be no different.”

  “I’ll bring her.” He stood and left the room. When he returned, he was carrying Honey in his arms. Her normally energetic dog looked weak. For a moment Penny wondered if she was truly alive. “The doctor has stitched her up and done all he can for her. He didn’t think she would make it when we first got her to town, but she has a fighting spirit.”

  He stepped so close that Penny could look into the chocolate eyes of her beloved friend. She touched Honey’s nose with a weak hand. “Hello, girl.” Honey whimpered in Thomas’s arms. He held the dog even closer to Penny. Honey whined, then calmed when her head was resting on Penny’s shoulder.

  “Don’t be afraid,” Penny said while stroking her. She was so tired that even the small motion added to her weariness. “I know Thomas will take good care of you. And I’m here.”

  “I’ll make a bed on the floor for her.” Thomas set Honey beside Penny’s bed, then gathered blankets and made her a bed of her own, all the while talking to the animal in a smooth, soothing voice. “Now I ca
n look after both my charges at the same time. Won’t that be nice? You can be in here with Miss Penny.”

  “Thank you, Thomas. My father gave me Honey. In a way, he feels closer when Honey is here.” Penny lay back on her pillow and closed her eyes. “Promise me you’ll get her well. I don’t want to lose her.”

  “I can’t promise that.” He took her hand in his. “I can’t promise it even though I’d like to.”

  “Please,” she whispered.

  “I promise you I will stay with you and with her. I promise you I will do all I can to keep you safe. Those things I can promise you, and I do promise them.”

  Penny forced a grateful smile, but even as she did, another tear slid from the corner of her eye.

  21

  Dear Penny,

  I’ve received two letters from you and hope to receive many, many more. I want to hear all the details of your adventure. Every day I eagerly rush to the post office in hopes of finding a letter from my faraway friend. For the first time, I’ve letters there for me. You were right, letters do brighten people’s day.

  I knew when you opened this letter you would want to find news of my wedding. I can imagine you holding it with eager anticipation. So, I’ll spare you any further suspense. I am married to Lucas!

  We met last Friday night after work and hurried to the pastor’s home. He had agreed to marry us and Lucas had arranged everything. I wore my yellow dress. The one with the blue flowers. It’s the nicest dress I have. I was worried it was not nice enough for a wedding, but Lucas said I looked lovely. And I never sensed a moment of hesitation from him.

  I believe the pastor was in a hurry. He said very little, and once I heard him mumble under his breath about us being too anxious. Even if he wasn’t the most eloquent pastor, he still married us. We each promised to love and cherish each other. We signed the certificate and walked away husband and wife. It’s such a simple thing, yet I knew in those brief moments that the entire course of my life had changed. I am married because of those vows. And I will honor them always.