Perfect Dark (The Company of Wolves Book 1)

by J. A. Saare

  Lemon balm.

  "Noah!" I hollered, rushing toward the back porch.

  I jumped over the railing and landed on top of the deck.

  Noah appeared, a hand resting on the gun in its holster. "I'm here."

  "It's the same scent," I said, gasping for breath.

  He scanned the area. "What is?"

  "The same one from the mall," I told him, rotating in a circle. "Lemon balm."

  I knelt, ready to track the scent.

  "No, wait." Noah went for his phone.

  "Who are you calling?"

  "Michael."

  I kept guard as he started talking, checking the area. As much as I wanted to give chase, I backed down. Noah and Michael needed to work together on this. Their pride and reputation were on the line. An alpha had trespassed onto their property and territory.

  On the compound.

  I never thought anyone would be that foolish.

  Testing Noah was stupid.

  Messing with Michael was downright suicidal.

  Things were about to get messy.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Michael instructed everyone to meet at his home. The house was situated near the center of the compound, on the outskirts of what werewolves referred to as The Strip. The area was mostly a tiny town in the community and consisted of a grocery store, several shops with various goods, and an ice cream parlor. There was also a deli, but out of respect to Velma's, there were no other restaurants.

  The enormous structure that was Michael's domicile was situated on five acres, and had tall iron fencing all the way around the property line. Each iron bar bore the pattern of a cross along the top. The barrier had been a tactical decision, as fae wouldn't dare cross over or under iron to trespass on the property, and crosses warned vampires to say the hell out.

  The interior of the home reminded me of a museum.

  Michael lived a long time and had much to show for it.

  He'd decided against formality, holding a meeting in the den. The area was large enough to seat Noah's pack and much of Michael's. But Michael had only wished to see Noah, Max, and Bowen. I'd waited near the door, situated on a long bench I'd been placed on before. Many youthful werewolves had taken a seat on the thing. Michael let the ramifications for certain actions sink in oftentimes, making pack members wait on the bench until he felt good and ready to speak to them.

  I hated the damn thing.

  Footsteps approached and Noah appeared, rounding the corner. Max wasn't with him. Neither was Michael or Bowen. I rose cautiously, wondering what had been decided. Whatever it was had made him angry. His hair blond hair was messy and mussed, indicating he'd run his fingers through it several times.

  "We have go home." He didn't wait, storming by me to the door. "We don't have long and need to hurry. We have an appointment."

  "We do?"

  "Not now, Ray."

  Well hell.

  He wasn't in a bad mood. He was furious.

  I kept my mouth shut as we returned to his truck and went home. There was a reason I hadn't been invited into the meeting with Michael. Trisha warned me this was coming. Michael wouldn't want the added uncertainty of my situation taking place while a rogue werewolf was on the loose. Everyone was about to have their say, and I dreaded what was to come. When we made it to the house and Noah shut off the truck, he stopped me before I could get out, grasping my arm.

  "Raven," he exhaled my name, voice trembling. "There's something I have to tell you."

  I looked him in the eye. "I already know."

  Comprehension dawned in his face."Trisha warned you."

  "She did. Is that a problem?"

  He lowered his gaze. "I should have told you myself."

  "I have to decide tonight?"

  "Michael's terms with you take precedence." After a moment, he gazed at me again. He was bitter and frustrated. "The timeframe remains the same. That's not the issue."

  "It's in the staying or the going, right?" Trisha stated as much.

  "No, it's more than that. He made an agreement with you and Steven. Now there's only you. The promises he made to Steven are no longer valid. The pack went to Michael shortly after you arrived. They want a decision that's rock solid. He swore he'd provide one. If you leave my pack, you will not be allowed to come back to it. Under any circumstances. You will have to join another pack of your own choosing, or Michael will pick one for you. That's non-negotiable. Once you do, you have to stay there. There won't be any coming or going, unless it's pre-planned visits with your family. You've been on the news, angel. People know your face. Michael won't risk the same thing happening again."

  I felt the violent trembling coming from him. What he'd told me wasn't too dire or unexpected. Something else had him wired. Then I knew.

  Heaven help me.

  "He told you to put me down." I shouldn't have been surprised. "If it happens, you'll be the one he sends to finish the job. He wanted you to tell me. He wanted you to warn me. He's making sure I know it's personal."

  Michael put pack matters above all else.

  With recent events, he'd had enough of the bullshit.

  And of me.

  "If it makes any difference, I just found out myself. It wasn't easy to keep my wolf contained, Ray. I considered walking out of his office. I almost told him to fuck off because I'd be taking my pack and leaving the compound. But that was my pride and selfishness talking. It wouldn't resolve anything with you and Michael. It also isn't what my pack wants and needs. He's the leader of all the werewolf alphas in the continental US. We appointed him to the position for a reason. He puts werewolves first, above all. If I don't do what he says, he'll take me out, replace me, and send someone else."

  He didn't have to tell me there was nowhere to run.

  Packs across the world destroyed strays. Usually on sight.

  "There's nothing for me in New York." Admitting it wasn't exactly a huge confession. "I have a sister here. I want to be close to her."

  I didn't continue, and he questioned, "But?"

  "This about more than me and you. I haven't seen everyone from the pack. Not in years. We're talking about the rest of our lives, Noah. Even if it all goes to shit. We'll be stuck together. Our lives could be a living hell. I have to feel the way I did before I left to be with Mom. I have to willingly put my life on the line for any single one of them, without question. That's what your mate is supposed to do. Nothing half-assed, nothing less. It would be an insult to you, them, and even Michael if I tried to fake it. Not only would I know, so would each and every one of you. You might accept it because of all that's happened, but not me. It's not only dangerous, it's reckless. I won't live another lie." I took a deep breath and said, "I'm assuming Michael won't allow me to stay in his pack, since yours is so close. It's not logical."

  "No." Noah didn't like Michael's decision.

  "You asked, didn't you? So did Max."

  "Yes."

  "Why now?" The pack had spoken to Michael. The timeframe confused me. Steven had only been gone a matter of days, but Michael could have delivered the news right away. "Why tonight?"

  "Peter." Noah gave my arm a squeeze and let me go. "He is my final lapse in judgment. And no, Michael didn't have to tell me. I knew it the minute I put a bullet in his head. For the sake of everyone living here, I've got to get a grip. I've always patrolled the area diligently, even after you left. That never changed."

  He stopped, shaking his head.

  "Well, that is, I did. Until you came back. This tension between us makes me lose focus. Not just at work, but here. At home. Peter lived on my property. He was my responsibility. Now, he's dead. We don't know how, and we don't know why, because I have been so attuned to you, I've stopped doing what I'm supposed to. That can't happen anymore. It's time to move forward. Michael told me the pack had the right to address you. As mad as it made me, as pissed off as I was and am, he's right. This can't go on. You said it yourself. This isn't about me and you. Not anymore. What y
ou decide will seal our fates in one way or another. But it has to be done. Once and for all."

  "I understand."

  "Do you understand? I'm serious." He put me in my place, nailing me with a searing glare. "You don't want to live a lie? Right? Guess what? I don't want to either. I'm am tired of fighting with you. That's the problem. You're an emotional roller coaster, and I have to exit the ride. I am sorry for everything you've gone through, for all you despise me for. But I'm also tired of apologizing. You can listen or you can tune me out. The choice is yours. I can't change the past. What's done is done."

  "Before I go inside, I want to know something."

  He gazed ahead, staring at the house. "Go ahead."

  "What do you want?"

  He pondered the question. I thought he might not answer.

  Then he laughed. It wasn't a happy sound.

  "What I wanted from the start, to make you happy." He met my gaze again and stared me down. "Look how that turned out."

  I thought my heart broke entirely when Steven died.

  I'd been wrong.

  The heart was no simple organ. It was a vital part of the soul.

  And mine remained as fragile as glass, cracking and splintering under pressure.

  Noah was telling the truth. The one thing he wanted was totally selfless.

  I'd completely destroyed it.

  For that alone, I experienced a profound and devastating regret.

  The emotion wasn't like anything I'd ever experienced.

  The feeling didn't feed on love and loss, good or bad.

  The sensation bore into my gut and twisted my insides.

  Our eyes never broke contact. "I'll make a decision in the time Michael gave me, and whatever I decide, I'll stand behind. I didn't understand what it meant to be your mate and wife. Not really. Even when I thought I did. I saw the inner workings of the pack, I even took part in some of them, but I didn't fully comprehend things. Maybe it's because I didn't want to see it. I was so blinded by you. Dazzled, even. I'd never been so drawn to anyone or anything. I'm not sure how it is for a werewolf, but for a human teenager? Love is like..." I struggled to find words that came close to explaining. "Magic."

  His brows furrowed, his shifting irises told me of his turmoil.

  "No, that isn't your fault," I said. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. That was all me, which is why I wanted to hate you so much. It's why I needed to hate you so much. When I found out about the pack and knew for fact you'd been keeping dibs on me? Deep down, I knew I was also to blame. I let that happen." I recalled the events that molded the latter part of my life and bowed my head. "Trisha's constant questions. The visits from the pack at odd times. I never second-guessed a thing. I cleared out my calendar without a care in the world. Because all I could see—all I wanted to see—was you. That made it easier to blame you for all the shit that came later. I viewed myself as a victim, not an active participant. It took years for me to study my memories with clear eyes."

  I turned to look at him again.

  He didn't appear happy or sad.

  He seemed resigned.

  I suppose I did as well.

  Each of us knew our hands were tied.

  "Everyone's inside." He looked at his watch and scrubbed a hand over his face. "I wasn't kidding about the appointment, we have to leave in the next thirty minutes. Not ideal, I know. That's why I didn't talk to you after the meeting with Michael."

  "Where are we going?"

  "The number Julian Phoenix gave to me?" When I gave a curt nod, he continued, "I received a response. We're scheduled to meet the owner at seven o'clock. And yes, I did my research. The establishment is completely exclusive and the premises are under a private listing. As you probably figured out, we're dealing with another vampire. An agent will meet us there."

  "Then we'll go." I reached for the door handle, and Noah went to do the same. I stopped him. "No. Not this time. Stay here." He opened his mouth to argue, and I shook my head. "No, Noah. What happened between me and the pack is between me and the pack. Just like what's happening between me and you is between me and you."

  "That's not how it works, Ray."

  "Do you want me to stand on my own two feet?"

  We couldn't have it both ways.

  If I stayed with the pack, I had to be strong.

  Reliable.

  Certain.

  "I'm going in there, and I'm doing it alone." I reached out and placed my hand around his arm. "No more half-assed shit. From either of us. They'll see right through it, and they've had enough. Honestly, I don't blame them."

  "What will you say?"

  I'd made up my mind.

  No more bullshit. No more damn questions.

  I opened my door and informed him, "Crack your window. You'll hear me."

  I centered myself while reaching out to the wolf inside me. I made sure every wall shattered and fell. We were fully open to each other. The power wafting from me would be palpable. Everyone inside would feel it.

  I didn't knock on the door, I opened it wide and left it that way.

  They were all waiting, just as Noah indicated.

  Jon, Trisha, Mark, and Brady were on the sofa. Jasper, Mari, and Stanley stood behind them. I made sure I made eye contact with each of them as I took one step inside, marking the place as my territory. From left to right, my gaze swept. Then I went from front to back.

  Jonathan, Trisha, Mark, and Brady's gazes weren't hostile.

  The same couldn't be said for Jasper, Mari, and Stanley.

  I honestly didn't care at that point.

  They'd screwed me over, and I'd done the same to them.

  Payback was a bitch, but she delivered in full.

  "You'll have my decision by the full moon." I expected my voice to be different, but I was stunned to discover it had become completely unrecognizable. I'd never sounded like this before. Not in my entire life. I actually wondered what my irises looked like as they all lowered their eyes briefly before gazing at me again. "Until that time comes, you will back off and leave me and Noah out of your shit. What goes on between us is none of your business."

  Mari growled. I anticipated as much.

  She'd always been a snappy bitch.

  "You want a piece of me, Marianne?" I took another step forward, breaching their space. "If so, you'd better hurry the hell up. Come get a slice. I've got places to be and shit to do. I might have to put you in line, without so much as a fuck given about your feelings."

  I stood before them, waiting.

  I was ready to face any or all of them.

  If anyone wanted to challenge me, now was the time.

  They knew it, and so did I.

  Seconds passed. No one spoke up.

  Good enough.

  I didn't say goodbye as I turned and left.

  My temper didn't idle as I glided down the stairs.

  As I approached the car, I looked through the windshield.

  Noah studied me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

  But he heard every word I'd said.

  Just as I'd intended.

  ◆◆◆

  Confronting the pack on my own had been a smart decision.

  If Noah had come inside, we wouldn't have made our appointment. The mansion in Hideaway Hills didn't look like a club—a resort, maybe—although there were cars arranged around the rounded driveway.

  Noah pulled just inside the gate, as he'd been told, and I saw our vampire liaison. He appeared similar to the vampires I'd met in the past, his dark hair cut short, the suit on him expensive and tailored but nothing too lavish. When we got out of the car and he walked to us, I realized I'd misjudged him. He didn't look the same, but he moved the same.

  All stealth and grace.

  The male was dangerous.

  "Noah," the vampire said, maintaining distance.

  "Cillian," Noah replied, checking the holster's under his jacket, and motioned to me. Judging by his casual behavior, he'd worked with Cillian mor
e than once and trusted the vampire. Based on what he'd told me earlier, I hadn't expected that. "This is Eleonora."

  "Madam," he said cordially, tilting his head in my direction.

  "You know this location?" Noah asked and inched closer to me.

  "Not the location, the vampire." Cillian turned as Noah started forward, staying in step beside him. "I crossed paths with Muriel Syndey lifetimes ago. She's not to be trifled with, but she can be trusted. You're fortunate Julian spoke to her on behalf of your lady. Muriel wouldn't have granted the booking otherwise."

  "Julian called on behalf of Eleonora?"

  "He did."

  Noah glanced at me. "Why?"

  The look on Cillian's face wasn't comforting. "He wouldn't tell me."

  I wasn't sure I believed the vampire.

  We made it to the enormous door and had to wait. The screen was a mesh of silver, iron, what appeared to be copper. A male approached, and my jaw nearly dropped. I caught myself before I showed a visible reaction. The human male was naked as the day he'd been born.

  He stopped on the other side and stared at our feet. "State your names."

  "Cillian Renner, Noah, and Eleonora Cameron," Cillian said, his voice almost lyrical. "May we come in?"

  A buzzing sound burned my ears, and I heard a click.

  The door opened, but I studied the area directly above it.

  The camera was tiny, but I saw it.

  "We're being watched," I said, staying behind Noah as we went inside.

  "When you're with a vampire," Cillian stated, "you are always being watched. We live, breathe, and exist in the dark. Therefore we see everything." He didn't look back at me as he advised, "Never forget that."

  The man who came to the door seemed to serve no purpose. He moved out of the way, went to a cushion near the wall, and kneeled down.

  "What is he doing?" I didn't bother whispering. If vampires could see everything, they could probably hear everything, too.

  "Waiting for instruction." Cillian left it at that. "Follow me."

  "You know where she is?"

  "Ray," Noah said softly. "Do as he says."

  I didn't argue as Cillian led the way up a staircase to the upper floor.